Haribo® Sugarless Gummy Bears

The warning recommends you limit your gummy dosage.

Haribo^® Sugarless Gummy Bears, better known by their street name Satan's Thunder Demonshits (STDs), or among the children as "Daddy's Special-time Candy", are an inedible abomination produced from the minds of ex-nazis; the unfortunate byproduct of the German company Haribo attempting to sail waters long unfriendly to Europeans—humanities and health ethics. Originally sold as a targeted poison for the average loser overwhelmed with munchies from a bit of the old herbal jew, Haribo miscalculated the popularity of their own normally-delicious products and quickly saw a record number of complaints, lawsuits, and cease and desist letters as the entire world pigged out on a "healthy" alternative to their childhood dreams.

Killer of Childhood Dreams

The internet has been around for a while. During this period, most of us have had our innocence raped away from our psyche. However, there are still small parcels that exist in the real world, often overlooked for their brilliant simplicity, which allow us to have just one more small glimpse into our precious, carefree years. Gummy bears is one of these things.

Legally and Discretely Troll the Ever-Living Fuck Out of the World

• Bring to parties
• Give as a gift to ex-goyfriends
• Give as a gift to enemies
• Give as a gift to friends
• Give as a gift to a government employee
• Donate as a thank-you parcel to the local Sheriff's Office
• Donate as a gift to the local hospital
• Give to your friend's pets just before they compete in a dogfight with your pet
• Give to your friend's grandparents to hasten their inheritance
• Give to yourself, you goddamn sick fuck

External Links

• Official Amazon Page

See Also

• Diahrrea
• Nightmare Fuel
• Eating disorder

	Haribo® Sugarless Gummy Bears is part of a series on Food and Drink [BleurghOm Nom Nom]
Food Bacon • Bacon and Eggs • Bread • Candwich • Cheeky Nando's • Chick-Fil-A • Fried Chicken • Chocolate Ice Cream • Cookies • Mayonnaise • Cupcake • Delicious Cake • Double Down • Green Onions • Ham • Honey Bunches of Oats • Hot Dogs and Sausages • Jesus Tortilla • Leeks • Liver • Meat • Pasta • Pears • Nutella • Pie • Pizza and Beer • Pork • Potato • Ramen • Sammich • Spaghettios • Subway • Sushi • Taco Bell • Topkek • Waffles • Watermelonz • Wendy's Superbar Drink Alcohol • Crystal Head Vodka • Coffee • Jizztini • Kool-AIDS • Milk • Mountain Dew • Pabst Blue Ribbon • Tentacle Grape • Whiskey • Wilkins Coffee Delicious Internets Ainsley Harriott • The Annoying Orange • BREADCRAB • Dancing Sandwich • Make me a sandwich • Food Pyramid • Gordon the Pringles Giraffe • Hypnocake • Loli Haet Pizza • Mershed Perderder • Sea Kittens • The Domino's YouTube Incident • Paula Deen • People eating fruit • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Food • Растишка Not Fit For Consumption Amy's Baking Company • Andouillette • Armin Meiwes • Gordon Ramsay • HowToBasic • Jared Fogle • McDonalds • Pocky • Simply Sara • Subservient Chicken • Sugarless Gummy Bears • Calamari • The McNugget Burgler