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Croatia: Difference between revisions
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Croatia (Nezavisna Drzava Hrvatska) is one of the many parts of oddly shaped debris | [[File:Flag-map_of_Independent_State_of_Croatia_(1941-1944).png|thumb|Croatian during its proudest days.]] | ||
'''Croatia''' (''Nezavisna Drzava Hrvatska'') is one of the many parts of oddly shaped debris that was left over after the Socialist Republic of Yugoslavia pressed the self-destruct button back in the 90's. | |||
===The People=== | ===The People=== | ||
Like many of the other Ex-Yu-States Croatia is nationalist to the bones, mainly hating on the | Like many of the other Ex-Yu-States, Croatia is nationalist to the bones, mainly hating on the Serbs, who are more or less the same Slavic people but members of a different flavour of Jesuslovers. Unlike the other Ex-Commies down there, the Croats enjoy their own homebrew version of fascism, which they preserved for better times since the end of WWII. | ||
The | |||
The Croatian Fascist is called an "Ustashe" and is an overachiever; back in the day, they did their best (worst?) to do a better job at fascisting than the Italians or the Germans, building their own concentration camps, having Catholic priests in their death commandos, and being so disgusting that even the fucking SS was creeped out by them, which is comparable to Hannibal Lecter inviting some unsuspicious douche in for "dinner" only to get grossed out by him and fear for his life. Even the Führer himself decided that he didn't want those guys to have a seat down the table after he would run the planet, and so he said, ''“I will finish with this regime one day—but not now!"'' | |||
Unfortunately, the war went south for the Reich, and so the Ustashe just were bitch slapped two or three times by Marshal Tito, which is why they are still around. | |||
[[File:Ustasa.jpeg|center|thumb|Trump this Nazi Faggs!]] | [[File:Ustasa.jpeg|center|thumb|Trump this Nazi Faggs!]] | ||
===The Sea=== | ===The Sea=== | ||
The Adriatic is a bit cleaner in | The Adriatic is a bit cleaner in Croatia than in Italy, mainly because there are less refugees drowning in it, and hotels, long drinks, and hookers are much cheaper than in Montenegro, also there are less fucking Muslims here than in both Italy and Montenegro, not to mention the coastline is longer than in Slovenia. | ||
===Freaks to encounter=== | ===Freaks to encounter=== | ||
*Fascists, a lot of them | *Fascists, a lot of them | ||
*Tourists form central and northern | *Tourists form central and northern Europe | ||
*Marxists | *Marxists | ||
*Titoists | *Titoists | ||
*Jihadists, travelling to | *Jihadists, travelling to France and Germany | ||
*The Boxjellyfish, these fuckers will kill you dead | *The Boxjellyfish, these fuckers will kill you dead | ||
*Bears, | *Bears, smaller than the Grizzly but still bigger than you | ||
*The | *The ghost of Marshal Tito | ||
*Some guy selling | *Some guy selling donkey rides | ||
*Your | *Your mom, selling rides | ||
{{Commonwealth}} | {{Commonwealth}} | ||
[[Category:Countries]] | [[Category:Countries]] | ||
Revision as of 14:27, 21 December 2016
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Croatia (Nezavisna Drzava Hrvatska) is one of the many parts of oddly shaped debris that was left over after the Socialist Republic of Yugoslavia pressed the self-destruct button back in the 90's.
The People
Like many of the other Ex-Yu-States, Croatia is nationalist to the bones, mainly hating on the Serbs, who are more or less the same Slavic people but members of a different flavour of Jesuslovers. Unlike the other Ex-Commies down there, the Croats enjoy their own homebrew version of fascism, which they preserved for better times since the end of WWII.
The Croatian Fascist is called an "Ustashe" and is an overachiever; back in the day, they did their best (worst?) to do a better job at fascisting than the Italians or the Germans, building their own concentration camps, having Catholic priests in their death commandos, and being so disgusting that even the fucking SS was creeped out by them, which is comparable to Hannibal Lecter inviting some unsuspicious douche in for "dinner" only to get grossed out by him and fear for his life. Even the Führer himself decided that he didn't want those guys to have a seat down the table after he would run the planet, and so he said, “I will finish with this regime one day—but not now!"
Unfortunately, the war went south for the Reich, and so the Ustashe just were bitch slapped two or three times by Marshal Tito, which is why they are still around.
The Sea
The Adriatic is a bit cleaner in Croatia than in Italy, mainly because there are less refugees drowning in it, and hotels, long drinks, and hookers are much cheaper than in Montenegro, also there are less fucking Muslims here than in both Italy and Montenegro, not to mention the coastline is longer than in Slovenia.
Freaks to encounter
- Fascists, a lot of them
- Tourists form central and northern Europe
- Marxists
- Titoists
- Jihadists, travelling to France and Germany
- The Boxjellyfish, these fuckers will kill you dead
- Bears, smaller than the Grizzly but still bigger than you
- The ghost of Marshal Tito
- Some guy selling donkey rides
- Your mom, selling rides
