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Jonathan Ross: Difference between revisions
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In 2015, Boon and Ross demanded to be a part of a [[DarkSydePhil| DSP]] detractor group known as the [[Sons of Kojima]]. When they were told to fuck off like the spergs they were, Boon and Ross conspired to take down the SoK through a variety of methods, including passing on fake doxes and attempting to pin a SWATing event on the SoK's leader. Since the SoK was a shortbus in and of itself, the whole thing collapsed from infighting and Boon and Ross were spergs victorious. | In 2015, Boon and Ross demanded to be a part of a [[DarkSydePhil| DSP]] detractor group known as the [[Sons of Kojima]]. When they were told to fuck off like the spergs they were, Boon and Ross conspired to take down the SoK through a variety of methods, including passing on fake doxes and attempting to pin a SWATing event on the SoK's leader. Since the SoK was a shortbus in and of itself, the whole thing collapsed from infighting and Boon and Ross were spergs victorious. | ||
After Ross was outed as a pedophile, Boon turned on him, either to boost his e-cred or to hide his own embarrassing sexual deviances, such as his used panty fetish (which he [[Almost Raped|almost]] killed himself over after getting outed). After this, Boon and Ross would later go back to being friends and would go back to badly attempting to troll DSP detractors, this time with far less success and ending with Boon getting [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/michael-c-rezaei-zachautist-boon-ihatekop666-edgequeen66-speeddemon6606-zachlawless1226.39681/ his own thread] on Kiwi Farms. | After Ross was outed as a pedophile, Boon turned on him, either to boost his e-cred or to hide his own embarrassing sexual deviances, such as his used panty fetish (which he [[Almost Raped|almost]] killed himself over after getting outed; no word yet on if he tried drinking Febreeze like his buddy). After this, Boon and Ross would later go back to being friends and would go back to badly attempting to troll DSP detractors, this time with far less success and ending with Boon getting [https://kiwifarms.net/threads/michael-c-rezaei-zachautist-boon-ihatekop666-edgequeen66-speeddemon6606-zachlawless1226.39681/ his own thread] on Kiwi Farms. | ||
===Emily Allman=== | ===Emily Allman=== | ||
Revision as of 21:50, 9 March 2018
Not to be confused with the BBC One talk show host of the same name.
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This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation.
You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen. |
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This person is a sick fuck!
They should never be trusted by anyone! |
Possible side-effects will include at least one of these: |
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'Jonathan Ross aka EffinRawz, SuperJonathanSonic SpeedDemon6606 and many more retarded names, is pretty much a sick fuck you would not want to babysit your kids. This creepster actually pretty much actively goes out looking for young kids bathing. Last Thursday he actually tried to defend his cheese pizza habits to Mister Metokur which resulted in pretty much the most autistic display of saying nothing. Oh and his friend Hole was involved.
Documentary
Early Life
Jonathan Elias Ross (preferring to call himself Ross) was born in December of 1997. Jonathan's childhood, for the most part, was normal (apart from suffering from autism) until he reached his tweens where his father (who has abused Ross, however whether this was sexual or physical is unknown) murdered his mother and was arrested. This is perhaps where the autism gears clicked into place and turned Ross into the lolcow he is today.
Early Youtube Career
Despite claiming to be a "veteran of the internet since 2009" (his words), Ross began his youtube career in 2012 branching out into 6 more channels because his autism prevented him from being able to focus on one channel. Ross truly believed he was a big youtuber even at 80 subscribers. Despite the small subscriber count all his channels had, the subscriber count for these channels would in fact be even smaller since many of these would be sock accounts (not his, though when his autism was at the strongest he would create multiple sock accounts to dislike videos he disagreed with like a typical SJW).
One of the biggest achievements of Ross's youtube career is that he was the first autist to upload a video in 2014 - quick, someone call the Guinness book of world records!
Even more interesting than Ross's grand youtube achievement, he use to be strongly against the word "nigger" being used, despite the fact it's one of the few words he knows now.
Soundcloud Career
Ross did once branch out and try to become a soundcloud rapper but there was no luck of success.
The Autism Rises
After the death of his mother, Ross was sent to live with his grandmother and grandfather. Ross would constantly claim that he is still in a "dysfunctional family" - even though he's the dysfunctional one. Ross was friendless at school and has even admitted that he wanted to become the next big school shooter. Ross would also constantly make fun of retarded students who have to do special summer lessons despite interestingly enough having to take the same summer lessons because he's so incredibly retarded.
During the height of autism he was welcomed into a skype group who called themselves "The Saints". This is where he entered maximum retard and would constantly dox and threaten to murder people. Apart from his one and only friend Jetrex, nobody in that skype group particularly liked him. At one point, he admitted to several people in The Saints that he is in fact a paedophile and enjoys to watch youtube videos of children in bathtubs. The people he admitted this to urged him to tell his grandmother and therapist which according to Ross himself, he did.
First Blowjob
Amazingly, some poor whore out there actually ALLOWED Ross to stick his dick in her mouth. Even more surprisingly THE BITCH WASN'T A MINOR. This would be hard to believe if Natalia (the whore who sucked his dick) didn't admit to doing the dirty deed (even more dirtier when you keep in mind that Ross stopped shitting himself at age 11).
Evidence
Don't think that Ross actually got a blowjob? Guess again mother fucker. A friend of Ross messaged Natalia who spoke about giving him a blowjob.
Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Kids In The Tub
In 2017, Ross fucked over the only people who would dare to talk to him again which resulted in word getting out that he's a paedophile. By a stroke of (un)luck, youtuber Mister Metokur came across one of the many streams Ross would do and blasted his sick pervered fantasies into the wider web.
The Video
After discovering this specimen, Mister Metokur decided to do not one but TWO videos on this freak.
Highlights
Because it is pretty much an hour long video, we decided to highlight some of the more important parts of the video, for your convenience, you lazy fucking shit. Jim is Mister Metokur.
—Yes. Yes it is, you sick fuck | ||
Attempted Suicide
On September 10, 2017, Ross had a livestream where he tried to kill himself by drinking Febreze, except the autist didn't know Febreze can't actually kill you.
Post Suicide Attempt
After Ross's suicide attempt he was taken to the hospital where it was found that he didn't actually drink the fabREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEze. He was apparently later taken to a crazy house where he was the youngest autist by actually 20 years. Despite having no computer he did manage to get into a windows store where he spoke about being a paedophile in front of everyone in the store. It has to be seen to be believed! Unfortuantely due to being a fucking autist, the audio quality of the original video here was terrible. Thankfully for you curious readers, someone re-uploaded the video with much better audio:
It has been revealed by his slut, Emily Allman, that his dad has been in and out of hospital with heart attacks due to the incident.
Friends
Michael Rezaei
Better known on the internet as Boon, Mike is Ross's on again off again friend, alternating between joining Ross and his autistic crusades and turning on him for cheap e-points.
In 2015, Boon and Ross demanded to be a part of a DSP detractor group known as the Sons of Kojima. When they were told to fuck off like the spergs they were, Boon and Ross conspired to take down the SoK through a variety of methods, including passing on fake doxes and attempting to pin a SWATing event on the SoK's leader. Since the SoK was a shortbus in and of itself, the whole thing collapsed from infighting and Boon and Ross were spergs victorious.
After Ross was outed as a pedophile, Boon turned on him, either to boost his e-cred or to hide his own embarrassing sexual deviances, such as his used panty fetish (which he almost killed himself over after getting outed; no word yet on if he tried drinking Febreeze like his buddy). After this, Boon and Ross would later go back to being friends and would go back to badly attempting to troll DSP detractors, this time with far less success and ending with Boon getting his own thread on Kiwi Farms.
Emily Allman
—Emily introducing herself on YouTube. | ||
—Emily replying to a YouTube comment about Ross. | ||
—Emily giving people juicy info on Ross's grandpa and his on-going autistic internet battle with Boon. | ||
Emily Allman is Ross's love interest (eventhough he is pretty deep in the friendzone with her and don't worry, she's 20). Despite her best friend Natalia being a fucking whore bag and sucking Ross's tiny dick, Emily is still a virgin and shows no romantic interest in Ross.
Much like Ross's amazing rap carer, Emily has a youtube music carer which you can view here (eventhough she's unable to hold a note). Emily was recently in a live stream with Ross where she was battling evil internet trolls and white knighting her long-time friend.
Natalia Law
—Natalia saying (and probably lying) how long Ross lasted before his "two sperms" escapes. | ||
—Ross talking about how much of a whore Natalia is. | ||
—Ross talking about how he came during his blowjob. | ||
Natalia Law is the ex-girlfriend of Ross and is also the only person to have sexual contact with him (don't worry, she was of legal age!). According to Ross, Natalia thought that his dick was "small" (probably true) and according to Natalia he managed to last "5 hours" (probably false).
Natalia is also best friends with Emily Allman and despite the fact Ross still had feelings for Emily, she refused to leave him. Thankfully she grew something that could be considered a brain cell and ended up leaving Ross.
Natalia is so far the only person Ross has ever been in a relationship with.
Ruby Aka Hole Aka EdgeQueen
—Hole being told | ||
Ruby Anne Jurinek-Kates is a fat attention whore who likes Harley Quinn way too fucking much. Hole suffers from GOTIS in the highest degree, despite it would be easier to defend Jonathan's sexual attractions to small kids, that being sexually attracted to this giant super massive black hole.
Gallery
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Got Ham?
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M'Lady
Imma Gonna Do It
In the above video, this attention whore actually tries to shame people by claiming she will jump out the window, as if she could possibly fit. Nobody took her serious, and she did not cause any earthquakes that day, because bitch just sat on her chair, instead of actually killing herself. It was all for attention.
In Summary
Ruby's Social Media
See Also
- ValisHD - Another pedo
External links
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Jonathan Ross is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |