Anton Bichivin

Find an iPod? This page is about an attempted an hero.

Anton Bichivin
Nationality:	Ruskie
Highscore	injured 7
Top 25?	Lmao fuck no.
Style	Single player
An Hero?	No, barely even tried

Anton Bichivin is an unoriginal zoomer nerd from Putinstan who on January 19, 2018 at the young age of 17 attempted to make IRL trollers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold proud of him but failing and getting raped in the KGB party van. His attack was very similar to fellow faggy Columbine wannabe Artyom Tagirov, who also attacked his teacher with a sharp object then set a classroom on fire.

Background

Anton lived in the Slav shithole that is Russia for his entire life. He was bullied in school (lul) because he was obsessed with LOLumbine and was an edgy NATZEE kid.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: Axe	Can kill something if you actually try. Does 20-25 pt. of damage
Throwables: Homemade Molotov	Can set Jews and blacks on fire if done right. Does 15-30 pts of damage
Perk: Nazism	Double damage against Jews, Slavs, and non-whites.

Attack

On January 18, our hero arrived late to school and marched into school wearing the school shooter uniform: a trench coat and combat boots as well as a KMFDM shirt, just in case no one could tell he was inspired by star crossed gay lovers Dylan and Eric. He allegedly knocked on the door and when someone opened it, he cut their fucking finger off and threw a molotov into the classroom, setting it on fire like a Vietnamese village. He cracked the teacher in the skull as she attempted to run out of the classroom. 5 other 7th graders suffered light burns even though the fucking classroom was engulfed (probably due to the fact they just jumped into the snow) and he was unable to score a single frag. He then ran down the hallway, shived himself in the chest and dove out the window just to get scooped up by the party van to suffer severe rape by the KGB guards.

Aftermath

Anton was found to be insane and was sent to live in the fucking nuthouse, where its been confirmed he jerks off to his self-written Dylan x Eric fanfic smut on AO3. Despite his attack being an EPIC FAIL, another retarded Russian kid named Artyom Tagirov copied Anton almost exactly, including the failed suicide.

Gallery

• Gallery of Failure
• 
  KGB RAPE VAN
• 
  BUSTED
• 
  Anton Chernobyl cosplay
• 
  The perpetrator of this TRAGEDY
• 
  The class where Anton went amok
• 
• 

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count:	0/20 injured 7
Accuracy:	1/20 Idiot couldn't even fucking finish the job
Style:	2/20 Russian Columbine copycat
Butthurt:	10/20 Freaked a bunch of Ruskie parents out
Bonus:	10/20 Molotov actually worked"
Total score: 23/100 (F-)

Wanted Level:

Mall Cop

Have fun in the nuthouse faggot See full ranking

See Also

• Vladislav Roslyakov - Russian Columbiner who got it right. Even outdid both Eric and Dylan by death count and execution!
• Anton Lundin Pettersson - Who he wished he was.
• Ilya Ivanistov - Another shitty Russian Columbiner. This one at least an heroed right.
• Columbine - What he tried to live up to.
• Nazi - What he was.

Anton Bichivin is part of a series on Columbine

[All jocks stand up!NBK]