Gian Luigi Ferri

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Gian_Luigi_Ferri
Born	December 29, 1937
Nationality:	Americunt
Highscore	8 killed, 6 injured
Top 50?	lol no
Style	FPS, Single player
An Hero?	Yes
Motive	Depression

Gian Luigi Ferri (born Gianluigi Ettore Ferri) is the wop responsible for the lulziest day in the history of San Franshitsco. Armed with a pair of TEC-9's and the fact that his life had gone down the fucking shitter, Mr. Ferri went out to set the new American High Score, but he failed, just like how he failed at literally everything else in his life. However, he found solace in the form of creating massive amounts of butthurt across the country.

Background

Not much is known about Mr. Ferri's sad and miserable life, except that he was poor for most of it. His entire professional career in the real estate business had been defined by the fact that he kept getting kiked out of his rightfully earned shekels. Even after winning a 1 million dollar settlement, he still couldn't manage to unfuck himself from the hole dug around him. His own mortgage business couldn't get any clients, his credit score was down the shitter, and he couldn't even pay the damn rent. He blamed all of his troubles on more successful companies instead of himself for not knowing what the fuck he was doing. One of these companies, Pettit & Martin, would be the eventual target of Mr. Ferri's rage.

The last straw came when Mr. Ferri couldn't even file bankruptcy, because he couldn't afford the bankruptcy fee.

Previously on Let's Play

California passing gun control (c. 1989)

The topic of gun control was fresh in all of Commiefornia due to another shitlord who attempted at setting the high score four years earlier. That shitlord is none other than Patrick Purdy, who pwned 5 gooklets at Stockton Elementary in 1989 before an heroing. Since Mr. Purdy used an assault rifle, Commiefornia set out to be the ultimate buzzkill by completely banning any kind of "assault weapon". This proved difficult for Mr. Ferri to set the High Score, because we all know shit disappears once it's banned, right?

The Shooting

Channeling his inner Hans Gruber, Mr. Ferri took an elevator to the 35th 34th floor (a secretary ruined his plans by pushing an elevator button on the 34th floor), and began what was to be the the single best day in the history of the entire Bay Area. Using his loadout, he first pwned an entitled bitch and her Jewish lawyer; he then began moving down from the 34th floor, ultimately leaving 6 more noobs rekt before the party van showed up in hopes of cutting the madman's spree short. Seeing the cops come up the stairs, Mr. Ferri had no other choice but to end his spree in the most logical way possible; by becoming an hero.

The Ultimate Lolcow

As mentioned before, gun control was in the minds of all Californians after the Stockton shooting. However, this didn't stop the entirety of America from going Full Retard around 1994. Led by none other than Dianne Feinstein, a pity-party full of pathetic sobbing losers descended onto Washington, D.C. in hopes of spreading their buzzkilling to the entire fucking country. Collectively they descended onto Congress screeching for gun control like the liberal harpies they are (hmmm, I wonder who else this could describe). Unfortunately for the rest of the 49 states, they succeeded in banning big scary boomsticks in what was to be known as the 1994 Assault Weapons Ban. At least their incessant groveling worked this time around (spoiler alert, it didn't).

Cry harder you Hook-nosed gun-grabbing manchild

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: Intratech TEC-DC9 File:Dylan Tec9.jpg	Your typical jam-o-matic machine pistol. Same model that would be used by Papa Dylan later on. 21-33 Damage. Attachment 1: Akimbo. Allows dual-wielding. Attachment 2: Extended Mags. Allows the user to fire longer without reloading.
Secondary: Norinco M1911	Shitty Chinese knock-off of the Colt 1911. Used only to an hero. Causes Instant Death to User.
Perk 1: Ghost Pro	Invisible against Spy Planes.
Perk 2: Stopping Power Pro	Hollow Point bullets enable all guns to do 40% More Damage.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count:	8/20
Accuracy:	17/20
Style:	20/20 High Rise Horror
Butthurt:	20/20 America banned a bunch of guns
Bonus:	20/20 Had the same effect as Parkland 25 years before
Total score: 85/100 (B)

The Italian Stallion. See full ranking

Wanted Level:
___________________

___________________

Federal Bureau of Investigation

See Also

• 9/11 - Another tragedy involving high rise towers
• James Huberty
• Patrick Purdy
• George Hennard
• Nikolas Cruz
• Mass Shooting
• Gun Control
• An hero

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