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Azn: Difference between revisions

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*All male Azn's are martial arts experts, with no exception, having gained the secrets from grand master Chong at the Dojo. They are all masters of Wu Shu, Cum fu, [[Kung Fu]], TaeKwonDo, Karate, or all of the above, and could kick any [[whitey|honkey]]'s arse if they can gang up on her/him. Providing they didn't leave their hammer at home, and that you do NOT mention their penis size. The only known defense is to take away their 20/200 prescription coke-bottle glasses, which renders them disoriented.
*All male Azn's are martial arts experts, with no exception, having gained the secrets from grand master Chong at the Dojo. They are all masters of Wu Shu, Cum fu, [[Kung Fu]], TaeKwonDo, Karate, or all of the above, and could kick any [[whitey|honkey]]'s arse if they can gang up on her/him. Providing they didn't leave their hammer at home, and that you do NOT mention their penis size. The only known defense is to take away their 20/200 prescription coke-bottle glasses, which renders them disoriented.


*Azns are easily spotted on the tubes for one very simple reason. All azn usernames will contain some fucktarded reference to their race.  For example:  VietBboi325, AzNThuG4real, AtJap13 (real faggot), CHINApwr23, S3xyFlipGrl201. Also many Asians love to make troll accounts claiming to be from some western nation like USA, the UK, Norway, or Russia instead of referencing their own shit nations. Oddly enough more realistic references like NukeburnedNip, ComfortWomenChink and DogboilingGook22 go unused.
*Azns are easily spotted on the tubes for one very simple reason. All azn usernames will contain some fucktarded reference to their race.  For example:  VietBboi325, AzNThuG4real, AtJap13 (real faggot), CHINApwr23, S3xyFlipGrl201. Oddly enough more realistic references like NukeburnedNip, ComfortWomenChink and DogboilingGook22 go unused.


*Azns are extremely good at [[math]]s. Because of this, they score [[atleast 100|atleast 2,400]] on the [[SAT]] and get into [[MIT]]'s [[Engineer]]ing [[college|school]]. This [[Virginia Tech Massacre|fucking kills]] everyone else's grades, except for those of the Jew, who use their evil Jew powers and Jewish IQs to plot the downfall of [[white people|human civilization]] on a daily basis. It's a well known [[fact]] that Azns are made up of [[Prime Number Shitting Bear|prime numbers]], general tso's [[chikins]] and rice.
*Azns are extremely good at [[math]]s. Because of this, they score [[atleast 100|atleast 2,400]] on the [[SAT]] and get into [[MIT]]'s [[Engineer]]ing [[college|school]]. This [[Virginia Tech Massacre|fucking kills]] everyone else's grades, except for those of the Jew, who use their evil Jew powers and Jewish IQs to plot the downfall of [[white people|human civilization]] on a daily basis. It's a well known [[fact]] that Azns are made up of [[Prime Number Shitting Bear|prime numbers]], general tso's [[chikins]] and rice.

Revision as of 11:06, 16 June 2011

NOT a typical Azn, note the big Tits.
File:DpGcnegguHz.jpg
Chiggers working overtime to escape their heritage.
Typical Asian showing off his small penis.
Azns are notorious for their inability to operate a motor vehicle.
Despite all of the failure to come from their group, Azns do occasionally win. Grant Imahara, Anonymous's favorite Azn.
Chinaman Edison Chen eating cunt, once his dick was removed by Gillian's teeth. Notice another figure in the background.
Even pedobear put in an application
Azn trying be hard.
Some men have big dicks. Azns, failing this, have these...
Standard try-hard philippino azns.
File:Average Penis Size.jpg
It's a known fact that asians have smaller penises than caucasians and niggers... which they compensate by studying science
Azns trying to be sk8ters.
Banana redirects here. For the old meme, see Bananaphone. For the drug, see Bananadine.

Azns are young, try-hard Asians striving as hard as they fucking can to escape their cultural and genetic heritage. Azn's are massively "pRoUd" of being Asian - which is why they mimic the culture of others like blacks and whites. This can be seen in their anime where almost every single character is blond-haired, blue-eyed, and tall, or when they try to rap out their "azn pride".

Ultimately, this ends in epic fail and generates lots of lulz for Westerners to see. Azn's are the suburban Michael Jacksons of our time, deeply ill-at-ease with themselves, with many resorting to plastic surgery to upgrade (caucasiaplasty).

Asian to "Azn"

'Azns' are not to be confused with 'normal' Asians. Azns are young, formerly 'Asians' who have come into contact with, or who gain a general awareness of, other races. This process triggers a change in the Asian, who begins to feel inadequate at the fact they can be blindfolded with dental floss, among other things. They must then become "Azn" to gain a semblance of self-esteem.

This process is especially profound in Asians living in the West, and especially amongst young Asian males. Asian girls have far less reason to mutate into an "Azn", and especially because they know they'll be having have white babies.

History

An Asian in his natural habitat, lost in thoughts of rice and small cocks.
A man, being denied of some delicious whale dog Penis.

Once upon a time, Americans stopped learning geography and they all thought that the huge continent of Asia consisted entirely of the country of China but it also consists of places like Korea, Malaysia and Vietnam...

Azns usually love to throw in their lot with Russia and India but will whine like bitches when you tell them Asia only consists of orientals...

Ahem. Moving right along. The disease known as 'Azn' was brought to public attention the early 2000s with some gay rap song about Buddha.

Some Asian-American teenagers claimed to be "proud" of their heritage (instant lulz, because their heritage is in no way their achievement), which basically consists of watching lots of anime (see Otaku), whining and bitching all the time about "crackas", listening to black person, and eating with chopsticks to "look cultured".

What they really think

Ashamed of themselves, the Azn will mimic what they consider to be the racial polar-opposite of what an Asian is. So, the Azn will pretend to be a black person. This Asian-mimicry is facilitated by watching MTV rap videos but never actually talking to black people.

In fact, as "American-ized" as they are, Azns by and large never actually interact with anyone else other than fellow Azns. This is why you often see them roaming malls in gangs of four or more, acting "gangsta" (in the case of the males), or giggling their heads off (usually over over-priced stationery, in the case of the females).

Azn "Pryde" also manifests itself in speaking in tongues, typically an incomprehensible stew of Engrish and whatever language they spoke back home. Most AzNs sound like this: (lol shut down), and they should probably just shut the fuck up.

Many American and Canadian AzNs pride themselves on speaking both English and their native tongue, but none of them have ever read a book in any language, including simple pictograms. It is not unfair to assume that they cannot read anything longer than acronyms such as BMW and TNA, which their parents buy them every day because they were born as gay fags.

This fact is reflective of another. Azns are also a unique paradox; despite the stereotype of nerdy Asian students, most Azns are complete retards. Proof of this can be found here

Azns have their own theme song.

Asian Film

This azn wants to find out why he can't get a girl.

Azn goes spaz when he was not accepted for a burping contest.

It is delicious eyeball. You must eat it!

Facts about Aznz

Typical Azn eyes.
Typical Azn foreplay before applying the bukkake marinade..
Sumo beginner
File:A1aleins.jpg
Azns are not human
  • Asians have retarded eyes.
  • All male Azn's are martial arts experts, with no exception, having gained the secrets from grand master Chong at the Dojo. They are all masters of Wu Shu, Cum fu, Kung Fu, TaeKwonDo, Karate, or all of the above, and could kick any honkey's arse if they can gang up on her/him. Providing they didn't leave their hammer at home, and that you do NOT mention their penis size. The only known defense is to take away their 20/200 prescription coke-bottle glasses, which renders them disoriented.
  • Azns are easily spotted on the tubes for one very simple reason. All azn usernames will contain some fucktarded reference to their race. For example: VietBboi325, AzNThuG4real, AtJap13 (real faggot), CHINApwr23, S3xyFlipGrl201. Oddly enough more realistic references like NukeburnedNip, ComfortWomenChink and DogboilingGook22 go unused.
  • Azns tend to stay in packs, and sometimes they even live together in pagoda-like structures they call A Pah Mence. They usually do not feel comfortable living in places where you hear their native moonspeak everywhere. Examples include Bellaire High School, where the student population is overwhelmed with chinks, and their average GPA offsets the niggas and mexicans negative GPAs.
  • Aznz favorite nonalcoholic beverage is bubble tea, similar to flavored ice tea with large black gelatin / tapioca "pearls" or "bubbles" that have the appetizing texture of drying out eyeballs. Much laughter will ensue among Azn's if a non-Azn gets a bubble caught in their windpipe.
  • If you mistake one kind of chink for another (i.e. nips, etc), drama ensues. PROTIP Make sure, after offended, you ask just what kind of chink they are
  • Recent observations and studies of this species have concluded that t3h Azns love to use these emoticon things: ^_^ ^^ ^^; :3 ;D >_< >:O Beware. If you come in contact with someone on the internets using these emoticon things, they're most likely Azn. RUNZ0RZ! Unfortunately, this is no longer the case. Every weeaboo, 16 year old girl, 13 year old boy, and general fuckwit uses these, however, if you do encounter emoticons, its still advised you should log off immediately, and delete System32.
  • Because Azns are super conscious about their "public image", they love to edit this page repeatedly and trying to reinforce "positive stereotypes" about azns.
  • Could possibly be from another planet, although if you mention this you'll be sure to hear cries of "Racism" (Spacism?).
  • Have an bizarre Fetish with noses, particularly those of other races.

AZNS being trolls

A reason not to troll azns, however in real life they are pussies, so go ahead.

AZN prank shows are serious bussines.

Azn being try-hard posers

A bunch of fucking nammers representing from the mean streets of Toronto, Canada decided to imitate (Asian mimicry) 50 cent's G Unit, hilariously calling themselves V Unit. Please notice their hardcore driving 5 honda civics without passing the speed limit of 60km. Pay direct attention to the paintball gun being pointed at the niggers at the end.

typical azn lipsync to Vitas

Don Henrie thinks that since his girlfriend is a wigger it means she's part black and that gives him the street cred to call people black persons.

No matter how much he tries, this man will always be 2 letters away from being an Azn.

How to spot an Azn

Males

What half of Azns want to look like, and fall horribly short of it.
What the other half of Azns want to look like, but would be better off becoming an hero instead.

Not as annoying as the female counterpart but is still worthy of deserving a kick to the balls if spotted:

Appearance

  • A small bump where the penis should be, that is their penis.
  • Feminine body, with no body hair at all.
  • Annoying pop or hiphop ringtone.
  • Wearing socks with slippers.
  • Hilarious attempt at a mustache.
  • Sometimes stuff their underpants with a tootsie roll to make their penis look (at least) 4 times larger.
  • Often seen wearing the ever popular "Got Rice?" t-shirt.
  • Thick black winter jacket (usually North Face) worn in summertime to disguise his Gollum-esque body.
  • Has posed for a group portrait at Glamor Shots with other AZN boys in matching nigga outfits (that often include fedoras), displaying gangsta hand signals.
  • Good as footstools, as they are usually under 3 feet tall
  • Horrible, horrible acne. They could be classified as new planets and moons. Unfortunately, azns aren't celestial bodies, they're ppls just like you and me
  • Armpits have a sour smell (can be sensed for up to 1000 feet away).
  • Hair is dyed a color other than black, usually red, or invisible
  • Hair is usually cut short and the top is spiked with dolphin jizz, and sometimes they are bald, to show how "hood" they are. Also see retarded and faggot.

Behaviour

  • Likes to raid American MMO's with botting and gold farmers.
  • They usually desire twinkies. "You are what you eat".
  • If older than 40, they will definitely own all of your local convenience stores.
  • Plays lots of Starcraft and Warcraft III.
  • If a hardcore azn, will love beating off to Neon Genesis Evangelion.
  • Has a screen name with a relation to the show Naruto, also usually contains a derivative of "AZN".
  • Claims to be "in da hood, black person" (thus making them even more pathetic than wiggers).
  • Has never been to da hood, and does not know where it is.
  • On top of not knowing where da hood is, some don't even know the general directions to their homes because they have no sense of direction
  • Most likely are Internet tough guys (usually to compensate for a stale eggroll).
  • Riced out car. Usually painted an eye-gouging yellow to reflect his heritage.
  • Has an exhaustive collection of X-Box, Nintendo, and Playstation games. Usually the latter.
  • Believes that the Western media world is 'against them' image-wise, and that it should portray Asian male characters as being 'cool' (eg, not actually Asian)

Females

Well that's just asking for it.
Typical azn pr0n.

Appearance

  • Has an "Everyone Loves an Asian Girl" shirt.
  • Annoying Pop or Hip-Hop ringtone.
  • Has the hoop earrings and drawn-on eyebrows of a Mexican whore.
  • Has hardcore eyelid plastic surgery or rhinoplasty
  • Wears contacts of unnatural colors to appear less Asian.
  • Wears TNA or LuluLemon yoga outfits to make her look like she actually has an ass. Also known as false advertising.
  • Bad snaggletooth. Any azn girl with decent teeth is uncalled for.
  • Have sideways hairy vagina. Sometimes with teeth.
  • Claim to be the most feminine of the females races but actually have no curves, small tits and flat asses.

Behaviour

  • If on the Internets, she will be a camwhore.
  • Will always be seen with White Men(Sometimes they'll go with the black man)
  • Answers "eating" when asked about favorite hobby.
  • Listens to Linkin Park every pop artist and gay bands.
  • Some spend endless hours on the japionese mini photo print-club machine and do lots of amateurish camwhore poses.
  • Starcraft before bros before hoes
  • Stays thin via bulimia ("twice the taste, none of the calories").
  • Has experience working as a "model" at a HIN show.
  • Overreacting (not as bad as emofags that overreact more.)
  • Often seen with ricer boyfriends, whom they drain of money like the gold-digging leeches they are.
  • Actually makes the stereotypical "Valley-Girl Blonde" look smart by comparison.
  • Posing on loli sites or working with Dateline NBC "to catch a predator" because they have the body of a 13_year_old_boy
  • Has a Xanga page with journal colors that will blind anyone with non-slanty eyes to ensure an AzNs-only privacy level.
  • Steals white, nerdy guys from their fat nerdy girlfriends. Then treats them like crap.
File:TypicalAZNs.jpg
Shut up woman, I´m playing vidya gayms.

Where can I find those..."Azns"?

Some Azns are used as commodities.

Azns are usually hanging out with the other azns at their houses because all azns know each other, no exceptions(See Incest) talking about how much they hate the niggers and jews . If not at each others' houses ,They can be found at the mall in the arcade rooms spending all day playing DDR with their retarded friends.This makes a fierce and bitter rivalry between the Azns and the Mall Goths.

Since mall goths play DDR as much as Azns do,theres often territorial disputes between them resulting in massive lulz getting arrested by the mall cops so none of them will become an hero.Since azns love slurpees and drink too much coffee,they can be seen at Starbucks or any coffee shop sitting with their ricer boyfriends or white guys gold digging from them and buying crappucinos or any other shitty drink. Also downtown Toronto, which they have made their headquarters for their plot to take over the world by overpopulating each city one by one.

Trolling An Azn

Proof that Azns have the tinest penises second only to india.
  • Make sure to carry a gun when trolling IRL since all Azns are ninjas.
  • OMG IT'S JACKIE CHAN!!!
  • Assume all Azns are Chinese. (This will piss them off and make drama)
  • If they are Chinese remind them of how the comfort women got raped by the Japs, for epic lulz
  • Piss them off telling them "I'm glad those Japanese fuckers got nuked during WW2". This will only work if the Azn is of the Japanese subtype, as most of the rest of Asia hates Japan intensely.
  • Tell them they look like retards - but at least retards have the strength to smash up coke machines.
  • If they're cosplayers, say "America Does It Better".
  • Remind them of their micropenis.
  • Remind them of how they don't look like everyone else make reference to their flat faces or wide nose havin, breathin all the white mans air
  • Leave Comments on AZN pages saying"BROWN PRIDE!!, "BLACK PRIDE" works fine as well.
  • Since most Asian males and females die of loneliness as they are only accompanied by other Asians, it puts a bug up their ass when you ignore them especially if you're not Asian.

List of Azns

Can YOU tell the difference?
what about NOW?
Even Asians hate blacks

See also

Typical retarded azn who thinks he's awesome and good looking, but falls short of both; i.e. COMPLETE FAGGOT YO
Your Myspace Azn GF IRL

Swords: The Azn's arch-nemesis

Azn Music

Now you too can be Azn. Micropenis not included.
File:Tribal asn.jpg
Bizarre tribal Azns
asians and their bizarre facial features

The stupid fucking song some faggot ED editor thinks started it all, even though Azns have been around since the 80s and were seen in Nightmare on Elm Street.

It doesn't get any more hard-core than this!

flame war has now started in comments section, contains several AZN lolcows

Trolling them is simple and recommended for easy lulz

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External links

Azn is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
More Dangerous Than They Look

Bus UncleElliot RodgerFilthy FrankHideki KamiyaJiverly VoongKatoKenneth EngLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMutsuo ToiNevada-tanOtoya YamaguchiPoisonIvyLulRiboflavinRockonlittleoneRyan's WorldSarah JeongVicki SighVincent LiWayne Chiang

Noted Tyrants

Chairman MaoCho Seung-HuiEllen PaoHirohitoKim Jong IlMontezumaPol PotShinzo AbeWoo Bum-kon


Cam Whores

@OzcultAyuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama

Weeaboos

AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSe-chanSnapesnoggerTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

Musical Endeavors

J-EmoJ-PopJ-RockKpop

Me No Rikey Velly Much

Game2WinterMark WahlbergMiley CyrusPatrick PurdyRobert Aaron LongRucka Rucka AliUnited Airlines

Azn Stuff

1-14 Jakarta Attacks2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingAnti-CNNAugust 6 & 9 1945Edison Chen photo scandalFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMukbangPockyRamenRicersThe SATTurning RedYaeba