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Modern Art: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 06:35, 31 October 2011
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This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us! |
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Modern Art is shit crapped out by art fags like Daniel Plemmons who you can find on Deviant Art, and their art works are full of lulz and epic fail. Often times, the artists would paint while cutting themselves because they know they are talentless posers but yet they still try to convince themselves otherwise. Modern Artists would then try to justify their art work in 25 page essays on metaphysics and the meaning of existence despite the fact that his work is just white paint on white canvas. Modern Artists think abstract art and non-representational art are teh shit. But it doesn't matter anyway because the art fags eventually kill themselves and people who are baffled by modern art worship the paintings just so people wont think they are shallow. That is why we have comics and video games to replace things made by them.
History
The Beginning from 19th century to early 20th century
New art styles developed during the late 19th century which tried to break away from the traditional styles in Europe. Artists like Vincent Van Gogh, a retarded art fag who cut off his ear, pioneered the rise of Modern Art. Of course, styles like Cubism became huge, mainly because people thought it was special and eventually other talentless people began to copy it. After a while, people began to simplify the forms to the point that they were abstract and no one can tell what the fuck it is. Artists like Pablo Picasso pioneered the style of cubism which would eventually influence art fags like Rauschenberg and Jasper Johns of the Abstract Expressionist and Pop Art era.
Late 20th century to today
A huge array of styles exploded after WWII like Abstract Expressionism, Color Field Painting, Pop Art, Op Art, Minimalist Art, and Post Minimalism, and Photorealism: but they are all the same crap amirite?
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Types of Modern Art
Over the course of history, there has been many styles of Modern Art, all of which sucks badly.
Minimalism
Minimalism is a style of Modern Art where the artist uses the most simplistic shapes, colors, and materials to create artwork that are so redundantly boring that you feel like you need to gouge your eyeballs out and sear the sockets with a curling iron. Angsty artists like Mark Rothko belonged to this shit genre and eventually killed himself because he got depressed just by looking at his talentless color field paintings. Apparently, he was so prolific that there are over 9000 of his paintings worldwide.
Fauvism
If you could take a hippy and tell him to paint something, it would be this, a faux-vist piece. The colors are so LSD bright that you feel like all teh gayness of the world is upon you and then you wake up butthurt from the day before. Henri Matisse, who has been reincarnated as Daniel Plemmons, was the original founder of the style. He screwed over all the other artists before him just because he thinks so highly of himself and acts as if he the queen bitch of the Louvre.
Expressionism
Expressionism is art created by emos because they want to distort reality for an emotional effect as a subjective art form. These art fags are perhaps the most angsty 13 year old boys of the art world. The philospher Nietzche helped define this genre of art and literature, but everyone knows that only emos, liberal fags, and 13 year old boys read his books.
Abstract Expressionism
This was the first American art movement that achieved worldwide influence. Abstract Expressionism was influenced by predecessors like Surrealism and German Expressionism. The term was first used to describe Wassily Kandinskys paintings, but eventually incorporated "action" painting by Jackson Pollock, and many others. Since the subject matters were abstract and easy for N00bs to learn, it became a safe strategy for art fags to strike it rich like a Jew.
How to Make Modern Art
There are Many formulas for making modern art, but that's all good cuz dat just adds moar lulz.
The Emo Way
Perhaps the more common type of Modern Art among high school students, especially the fat 16-year old attention whores.
- Get a white canvas
- Take a razor and place it against your wrist
- Do it faggot
- ????
- Profit
Philosophical
Shit is Crap just like how Crap is Shit; except in this case Modern Art is interchangeable with either one of the w3rds.
- Get something strange to paint on
- Pull Down Pants
- ????
- Profit
Gallery
