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Herman Cain: Difference between revisions
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==Herman Cain on [[shit no one cares about|The Issues]]== | ==Herman Cain on [[shit no one cares about|The Issues]]== | ||
*[[Faggotry|Gay Rights]]: Along with the typical right wing [[God hates fags|view]] of the gay, Herman Cain believes that being gay is a choice (because [[Rick Perry|people]] wake up one day and decide they want it [[in the ass]], and despite [http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2011/10/20/herman-cain-choicer invitations] to [[Buttsex|prove this is true]], he's too fucking scared of the big mean liberal media to have an actual debate. | *[[Faggotry|Gay Rights]]: Along with the typical right wing [[God hates fags|view]] of the gay, Herman Cain believes that being gay is a choice (because it's a fact that [[Rick Perry|people]] wake up one day and decide they want it [[in the ass]]), and despite [http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2011/10/20/herman-cain-choicer invitations] to [[Buttsex|prove this is true]], he's too fucking scared of the big mean liberal media to have an actual debate. | ||
*[[Arabs|Foreign Policy]]: He doesn't [http://www.registan.net/index.php/2011/10/14/more-on-herman-cains-uzbekistan-comments/ give a fuck] about knowing about [[spics|foreign]] [[niggers|countries]] and is proud of being ignorant, like any typical Republican. What makes him particularly retarded, however, is that he bashed [[Muslims|Uzbekistan]], which is a country that Americunts rely on to get supplies to their [[Army|troops]], so in essence, he could have [[Awesome|ruined an American alliance]] just because he wanted to prove he's as racist as any [[cracker]] in the GOP. | *[[Arabs|Foreign Policy]]: He doesn't [http://www.registan.net/index.php/2011/10/14/more-on-herman-cains-uzbekistan-comments/ give a fuck] about knowing about [[spics|foreign]] [[niggers|countries]] and is proud of being ignorant, like any typical Republican. What makes him particularly retarded, however, is that he bashed [[Muslims|Uzbekistan]], which is a country that Americunts rely on to get supplies to their [[Army|troops]], so in essence, he could have [[Awesome|ruined an American alliance]] just because he wanted to prove he's as racist as any [[cracker]] in the GOP. | ||
*[[Christfag|Religion]]: Actually said he wanted to remix "Hail to the Chief" [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/02/herman-cain-hail-to-the-chief_n_991017.html into a gospel track.] In other words, he believes [[Insane|God appoints the president]], meaning God [[Irony|wanted Obama to be president]]. | |||
*[[Niggers|The Poor]]: [http://news.yahoo.com/herman-cain-social-security-welfare-medicare-entitlements-general-233000176.html Grew up 'po'], so he [[Lie|knows what being poor is like.]] He also said the poor should blame themselves for being poor, just like [[True|women should blame themselves for being raped.]] | |||
{{Afro}} | {{Afro}} | ||
Revision as of 19:35, 21 October 2011
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STEP THE FUCK OFF! Herman Cain looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.
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It's no secret that the GOP doesn't want a nigger in the White House. Seeing the brotha man take control of the Jewnited States of Americunts in January of '08 brought many a tear to the white man, to the point where they took to the streets, waved guns around, and threatened a Civil War if Obama didn't move to the back of the White House and let a real American take over. Naturally, the liberal media painted them for what they are, and soon enough, they were forced to STFU. In fact, they realized that the liberals in the country had such a stranglehold on Obama's image, that every GOP candidate that stepped up to the candidate was painted as a bad choice for America, for various reasons only leftards understand.
So what did the GOP do? The only thing they could do: Find the dumbest, blackest Uncle Tom they could find, and make him the frontrunner for the Republicunt nomination. Oh, and his only experience in leadership is being the fucking CEO of a shitty pizza chain.
999 Plan
Herman Cain, due to receiving a lifetime of Affirmative Action and hand-outs from Whitey, thought that fixing America's economy was to give everyone the exact same fucking tax rate on everything. Unfortunately, because he's a fucking retard, he didn't realize that forcing everyone to pay a 9% sales tax means raising taxes on everyone. Sound familiar? Naturally, the other GOP candidates jumped on him for this and threatened to hang him from a tree for even considering making people (including, God forbid, rich people) pay taxes, including what would amount to a tax increase for the poor.
It should come as no surprise, then, that such an unrealistically simple plan came from none other than a fucking video game. The Sims, no less. Herman Cain is no stranger to grabbing his campaign propaganda from popular culture, including a "inspirational quote" he pulled from Pokemon.
Herman Cain on The Issues
- Gay Rights: Along with the typical right wing view of the gay, Herman Cain believes that being gay is a choice (because it's a fact that people wake up one day and decide they want it in the ass), and despite invitations to prove this is true, he's too fucking scared of the big mean liberal media to have an actual debate.
- Foreign Policy: He doesn't give a fuck about knowing about foreign countries and is proud of being ignorant, like any typical Republican. What makes him particularly retarded, however, is that he bashed Uzbekistan, which is a country that Americunts rely on to get supplies to their troops, so in essence, he could have ruined an American alliance just because he wanted to prove he's as racist as any cracker in the GOP.
- Religion: Actually said he wanted to remix "Hail to the Chief" into a gospel track. In other words, he believes God appoints the president, meaning God wanted Obama to be president.
- The Poor: Grew up 'po', so he knows what being poor is like. He also said the poor should blame themselves for being poor, just like women should blame themselves for being raped.
