Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Dick Masterson: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>H64
imported>JuniusThaddeus
Undo revision 268314 by H64 (talk) Bot mishap.
Line 114: Line 114:
{{truth}}
{{truth}}


 
[[Category:People|Masterson, Dick]]
{{Slept with rubberduc}}

Revision as of 14:56, 31 October 2011

Dick on Dr. Phil sporting a pedo mustache and rapist glasses
Ted Kaczynski took the fall for Dick
   
 
Female anger is the weathervane of truth
 

 
 

—Dick Masterson

Little is known about Dr. Dick Masterson, only that he is a messenger from God sent to enlighten women around the world about why everything sucks because of them. In other words, he is one of the most obvious IRL trolls that has ever lived but women fall for it and thus create a weird meta-troll effect where he's proven right due to the hordes of butthurt bitches left in his path. Dick Masterson is Dax Herrera's alter ego. Here is a link to Dax's myspace http://www.myspace.com/daxer Here is another link on a bodybuilding forum. Oh yeah, I sure want to follow his "teachings" hahahah http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131233283 Doing a search on Dick Masterson on this same bodybuilding forum will yield many results, some from "Dick" himself who gets butthurt when he is proven to be nothing but a troll, and a hypocritical one at that. On his men are better than women forum, these facts were posted by a woman, and were quickly taken down by him or one of his mods. They got a little butthurt themselves, seems Dax doesn't like it when he is unmasked.


   
 
You're paying for the whore to leave
 

 
 

—Mighty Dick


Website

While the majority of Dick's fame comes from his real-life escapades, he also has a website through which he shares his infinite wisdom with fellow assholes and male chauvinists of the internet. Having an advanced degree in Dickology, Dick has written many classic works, including this list of reasons he compiled on why men are way better than women.

A typical woman's reaction to the truth. Fucking priceless.
A Dickovator


no women can stand against dick:

Dick Masterson: women line up to go out with me!

Her: I don't see any women lining up to go out with you, and even if there were, I would be last in line.

DM: maybe if you hit the treadmill more often you will be in first.

This is an example of a technique Dick has created and mastered known as the "Verbal Cunt Punt" or VCP for short. It allows dick to turn raging Feminazis back into respectable women without the need to punch or kick their filthy untouched snatches.


Top 10 Reasons why Men are Better than Women

10. Men have penises

   
 
Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do.
 

 
 

9. Marriage is stupid

   
 
Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day.
 

 
 

8. Boys destroy things

   
 
Men are natural destroyers. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
 

 
 

7. Men wear watches

   
 
Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
 

 
 

6. Men write illegibly

   
 
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
 

 
 

5. Men live less than women

   
 
Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit.
 

 
 

4. Women are racists

   
 
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred.
 

 
 

3. Men are not sponges

   
 
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires.
 

 
 

2. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

   
 
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues.
 

 
 

1. Jesus was a Man

   
 
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
 

 
 

FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST GUY EVER

DOX

   
 
I don't waste my time sitting around with friends calling websites that piss me off.
 

 
 

—Dick

Like a real man, Dick puts out his contact info for directly handling death threats. Of course, all of the women who call keep on proving Dick's point that women are stupid because they just ramble on about shit nobody cares about.

Hate Mail

Dick Masterson serves a secondary purpose as an agent provocateur, inciting self-professed feminists to express their true feelings and views. He simply states a general view about women, and then militant feminists - women and men - bombard him with death and castration threats, often accompanied by a generalized claim about men. Because it's not sexist if you're a girl. Or a self-loathing male.

   
 
I think you need to be castrated. Why you ask? Well deary You cant have these opinions and get away with it, its like being a pedophile - Thats why you need to be castrated! DAHHHHHH!!!
 

 
 

—-Girl power on thoughtcrime

   
 
Thanks for reading this, and I hope I was able to educate you on something, because God knows you need a lot of it.

May God (apparently Jesus in your case) bless you with less stupider thoughts, not intelligent.
 


 
 

—-Harini Chandrasegaram on modesty

   
 
why do you think that thing between your legs really means anything

it would not be that hard to just cut off and look what would you really have then being a male would be well sucky the littles thing it and your on your knees holding it crying well go fuck your self (if you a can get it up)
 


 
 

—-angela on penis envy

   
 
If you love men so much, go suck some dick and get some fucking respect for girls.


 


 
 

—-hatty on persuasion through homophobia


External Links

Dick Masterson is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.


Dick Masterson is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.


Dick Masterson is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.