Judge William Adams

Judge William Adams
Download Kazaa? That's a paddlin'
Details
Description	Texas Judge in Aransas County, known for paddlin' internet users.
Classification	Progenitor of Butthurt
Virginity	Compromised
Fears	Kazaa, youtube, gays, ataxic cerebral palsy, retards, Metallica, disobedience, web cams, belts, Megan's Law, falling pianos, JDAMs
Values	God, beating children, sodomy, Goofy Time <video type="youtube" id="etyugRjCkrY&start=42" height="25" width="190" frame="false" />
Links
URL	Youtube

That's a paddlin'

Judge William "Bill" "The Judge" Adams (AKA Judge Dredd) is a don't-mess-with-Texas family law judge, but under the robe lies the most monumental redneck sack of shit winner you will ever lay eyes on. Hailing from the lovely county of Aransas in Southern Texas, his existence is spent beating his wife and daughter and feasting upon the sandwiches they prepare for him. Make no mistake, while this smarmy fucker doesn't wear a wife-beater or shotgun cans of Bud Light, he is the embodiment of backwoods trash. When he's not busy lying through his teeth about his family life and wasting taxpayers' money on stupid shit, he's getting secretly filmed beating the holy fuck out of his disabled furry daughter.

	“	Get on the stomach or I'm gonna start beatin' you again	„
	—Judge William Adams, exercising his second amendment rights like a retard

	“	I never got mah lick in on 'er	„
	—Judge William Adams, demonstrating his true redneck colors

The Video

Damn skippy it is

He is the law

Last Thursday the daughter of Billy posted a video to YouTube, secretly filmed in 2004. It depicts Judge Adams savagely beating his daughter with a belt. From what can be garnered from the video, Hillary is a bit of a video game fan (note the Starfox Adventures and Sonic Adventure 2 posters on the wall) and a computer geek. Judge Adams, being the upstanding, moral individual (read: redneck dumbfuck) he is didn't agree with her downloading that evil Rock & Roll music and playing those satanic video games and decided to "give her a spanking." Instead of a spanking, he proceeds to beat the living fuck out of her, good ol' boy-style. At the time, Hillary was downloading Japanese music and games that were not yet available for legal purchase in the Jewnited States. Not wanting to miss out on the latest episode of the hottest animu, Hillary turned to the Internets to satisfy her cravings. Disappointed with his daughter's actions, The Judge then decided he was going to beat some sense into the little shit.

Detecting the incoming justice, Hillary smartly placed her camera on a shelf and covered it, leaving it on "record" mode to capture what happened. Seven years later, she released the video, causing the shitstorm of butthurt taking place today. What was captured is grainy images of The Judge relentlessly manhandling and beating Hillary everywhere on her body, threatening to beat her across the face if she doesn't assume his demanded positions. Hillary's mother, another victim of Billy's abuse, is seen shouting at her and telling her to "take it like a grown woman".

	“	Take it like a grown woman!	„
	—Wife of Judge William Adams, beating her daughter like a good dominatrix

Hillary originally posted information about the video on Reddit, but the video quickly spread throughout the various tubes. Because Hillary is a gamer, the video gained momentum on the v board on 4chan, as thousands of basement dwellers lifted their flabby arms in outrage that someone could hurt a white, normal-looking girl that enjoys vidya. This selective vigilantism then spread to b from there, picking up more supporters along the way. Judge Adams should be preparing his asshole for the oncoming shitstorm created by the mass of nerdrage slowly vibrating towards him with the force of a thousand suns, ED will be following all the way, as lulz will undoubtedly ensue. Hope your career works out buddy! (It should be noted that he's already been relieved of his duties for two weeks thanks to his sneaky little rascal of a daughter.)

It is worth pointing out that Hillary has a disability. She has ataxic cerebral palsy and was born with less-than-functioning fingers, though she has since, through a program of physical therapy involving learning to play the piano, managed to get 1337 p14n0 skri11z. This didn't faze Billy one bit, however, and he still beat her to no end. For he knew that, despite her pleas to the contrary, the bitch was faking.

"The Judge" seen here shopping for fresh meat to pound.

Hillary Adams reaction to her dad's new found fame

Transcript

What we have here is a failure to communicate efficiently. Seven minutes of video reduces down to a shorter transcript. Like in the 1985 film Brazil, where the old typist in Jack Lint's (Michael Palin) office at the Ministery of Information Retrieval, what we need is a pretty-good transcript to figure out what all of these pronouns are referring to. Williams gets 14 blows on Hillary and then gets three more after his (lick) comment and perhaps one more while yelling into her ear.

Notes:

• The mother's name is Hallie
• Alison is Hillary's younger sister.
• The trigger for the beating was that Hillary re-installed the music-sharing software Kazaa on her computer in her bedroom and Bill lumps that all together with unlocked computer games as stealing. Apparently Hillary also was taking some of her school exams with the computer.

Scene opens with camera looking at a bedroom with lights off. Voices initially recordered off-camera.

Bill: (referring to internet/computer/Kazaa)...She put it back on against the instructions.
Hallie: Yes.
Bill: OK, go get my belt. Go get my big one.
Hallie: I have already spanked her.
Bill:I am going to spank her now.
(Light turns on in bedroom but still no one is visible)
Hillary: Is he upset?
Hallie: Yeah, he is. Apparently, that is why you do it.
Hillary: What is?
Hallie: That is why you re-install it, because you don't think that it is a big deal.
(Noise of toilet flushing)
Hillary: Ma, it is a lot easier than (unintelliglble) and I am really sorry.
Hallie: I don't care if is a lot easier than anything... (?)
Bill: Get Alison out of the room. (Walks over and is standing right in front of the camera. He is wearing a tee-shirt. Gestures to Hillary). Get over here. (Closes door and turns off light.). Bend over that bed. 
Hillary: (Walks into camera view). Dad...
Bill: Bend over the bed. Bend over the bed.
Hillary: Well..
Bill: (Strikes Hillary using belt on backside of her legs for the first time). Bend over the bed. (Strikes her four more times).
Hillary: Stop...Dad...stop...stop...stop (interleaved)
Bill: Bend over the bed. I am going to keep beating you on your legs. Bend over the bed. Stand up.
Hillary: No.
Bill: Stand up. (Picks her up on tosses her on the bed) Bend over the bed. Bend over the fucking bed, damn it.  (Strikes her three times on her behind)
Hillary: Aahhhh...aahhh...ahhhh
Bill: (Strikes her two more times)
Hillary: Stop. Stop.
Bill: (Grabs her again). Bend over like I said, damn it. Get up and bend over the fucking bed. (Shoves her) Lay down or I will spank you in the fucking face. Roll over.
Hillary: Dad...Dad..No... Dad.
Bill: I will spank you in the fucking (trails off). (Strikes her three more times). Did I tell you to take that fucking thing off the computer?
Hillary: Ahhh...Stop.
Hallie: (re-enters, stage left. Bill hands belt over to her and stands with arms akimbo). Here, you turn over. One time, you get over on your stomach and you let me spank you on the bottom.
Bill: (Grabs for belt) Give her some more.
Hallie: (To Bill) No. (To Hillary) You turn over. I am going to spank you on your butt. You turn like a 16-year-old and take it...like a grown woman. Turn over.
Bill: She won't. She is disobediant.
Hallie: No, let me do it.
Bill: Give it to me.
Hallie: Turn over.
Bill: I am going to go get another one. (Leaves)
Hallie: Turn over. All the way on your stomach. (Stirkes Hillary once). Thank you.
(Hallie leaves)
Hillary: (Sniffs)
Bill: (Muffled) You started it...
Hallie: That is enough.
Bill: You started it.
Hallie: No, that doesn't mean you have to keep on...that is enough.
Bill: (Re-enters). I never got my lick in on her. Get on your fucking stomach on the bed now.
Hillary: Dad.
Bill: Get on your stomch or I am going to start beating you again.
Hallie: (Now back in the room) Get on your stomach.
Bill: Get on your stomach, I said.
Hallie: Get on your stomach.
Hillary: Dad.
Bill: Get on your stomach.
Hallie: Get on your stomach.
Hillary: Ahhh..
Hallie: Get on your god-dammned stomach.
Bill: Get on your stomach.
Hallie: Get on your stomach.
Bill: (Strikes again).
Hillary: Stop.
Hallie: That is about it.
Bill: (Strikes again). I am going to beat you into submission.
Hillary: (Whimper)
Bill: You want to put some more computer games on? You want some more?
HIllary: No. (Wail)
Bill: Fucking computer. I told you that I did not even want one in the god-damned house. See all the problem they caused?
Hallie: Yeah, I have. I do.
Bill: All the fucking problems that they caused.
Hallie: I know and I told her "Take your credit by exams. I don't think that you should." She wanted to. OK? She made the decision. I did not want to take them any longer because I do believe that she is too immature. And it has caused nothing but arguments and fights since we got it back.
Bill: (Leans over and shouts in Hillary's ear) Are you happy? Huh? Disobeying your parents? (Stirkes again). 
Hillary: (Whimper) Stop. Stop.
Bill: See what it will do? Is it fun to disobey your Mom and Dad?
Hillary: No.
Bill: Huh?
Hillary: No.
Bill: You do not deserve to fucking be in this house. Disobedient... What happened to you Hillary? Once you were an obedient, nice little girl. Now you lie, cheat and steal. Putting the fucking game back on the... I ought to just keep beating and beating you. 
Hillary: Stop. Stop.
Bill: That is how upset I am.Two months, will buck?
Hillary: Stop.
Bill: Six months. Six fucking months. Got it?
Hillary: Stop.
Bill: Got it?
Hillary: Stop. Yes. (Wail, cough).
Bill: If I hear so much...
Hillary: Stop.
Bill: ...as you raised your fucking voice one little bit to me or your mother or with the wrong tone, or if you do one little thing wrong, if you look at me wrong...I am going to take you in here and wear your fucking ass out with the belt. You understnad me?
Hillary: Yes sir.
Bill: That is what it has come to. That is what it has come to. Got it? Are you happy?
Hillary: No.
Bill: You caused this with your dis-fucking-obedience. You know I am not going to put up with it, don't you? Do you think I was fooling? 
Hillary: No sir.
Bill: Do you think I fool around?
Hillary: No sir.
Bill: (exits, stage left.)
Hallie: I told you: "Don't put Kazaa on your computer." And you know what I am telling you now? Are you listening?
Hillary: Yes ma'am.
Hallie: Don't touch one other thing on your comptuer besides your schoolwork until you are givin notice otherwise. Is that understood?
Hillary: Yes ma'am.
Hallie: OK, good night. Now I will leave...you alone. (Leaves and slams door)
(Muffled coversation between Bill and Hallie. Bill says something about not wanting her out of the house)
Hillary: (Gets up and opens drawer)
Hallie: (Re-enters) You are sleeping on my couch in Alison's room. Get a blanket and go down there.
Hillary: How am I going to wake up?
Hallie: I have an alarm down there. Get your blanket and go down there.

BREAKING YOUR DAUGHTER NEWS!

Judge Dredd himself has been contacted by a local news outlet. When asked for statement, he said, "It happened years ago.. I apologized." That's right guys, he's truly rehabilitated! His bad! Moreover, he made sure to let us know that, "It's not as bad as it looks on tape," proving that he is truly a reasonable, God fearin' man and we have all blown it out of proportion. So go ahead and pack it up guys, its time to leave him alone. In further interviews, he continues to shrug off any accusations and responsibility, still contending that beating his daughter was completely normal. Taking some quotes from CNN.com:

	“	'She's mad because I've ordered her to bring the car back, in a nutshell, but yeah, that's me. I lost my temper,' Adams told the TV station. 'Her mother was there, she wasn't hurt ... it was a long time ago ... I really don't want to get into this right now because as you can see my life's been made very difficult over this child.'	„
	—Judge Dredd to KZTV, reminding us its his daughter's fault

	“	In my mind I have not done anything wrong other than discipline my child when she was caught stealing. I did lose my temper, I've apologized. It looks worse than it is.	„
	—JUJ DURR-ED

Dox

Name: William R Adams DOB: Feb 1960 Address: 717 Magnolia Street Rockport, TX 78382-2828 , link 1278 square foot, video of interior and floor plan not yet available. Personal Phone: (361) 729-3452 (Old landline, current status unconfirmed) "Changed, disconnected or no longer in service" YOU can help by updating this number. Work Phone (Aransas County Courthouse): (361) 790-0138 (line busy? Feel free to call Aransas County Judge C. H. "Burt" Mills, Jr., 361-790-0100) His account on http://www.fetlife.com is William_Adams and his password is spankie Work Fax (Aransas County Courthouse): (361) 790-0185 Work Email: [email protected] Raw divorce data: 127597 ADAMS WILLIAM 47 HALLIE G 46 01 02/01/1986 12/13/2007 004 ARANSAS Source: http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/vs/marriagedivorce/dindex.shtm His house as seen from Google Street View. Same house. Picture taken November 2, 2011.

His daughter, all grown up.

How can YOU help this father of the year?

• Call him and let him know what a great job he's doing. If you are too shy to tell him how great he is via the phone, you can always email him at work [email protected]
• Judge Dredd has been lonely since his divorce, and as a good christian he is not allowed to sign up for pornography. However you can sign him up to receive your favorite porn so that way he doesn't have to sin in the eyes of God.
• Order him his favorite pizza I heard he likes: Pizza Hut (361) 729-7270, Papa Johns (361) 643-0737 (361) 806-2540 (361) 937-2424, Panjo's Pizza and Pasta (361) 729-1411, Europizza (361) 790-2443 and Dominos (361) 729-4700
• Send him free samples of lube from [1] , [2] , [3] , and [4] . He will be grateful seeing as he is newly single and the ladies will be lining up to date this fine man
• He is a humble christian man and may be too shy to start his own dating profile so feel free to start one for him
• As a Christian you can't have enough Bibles
• He also enjoys Chinese food especially from New China express (361) 854-3888, Hunan Express (361) 992-6666, Hua T'Ai Chinese Restaurant (361) 857-8788
• Be sure to Google "Judge William Adams beats daughter" over and over and click on all links of him beating his daughter to defend this man from trolls.
• Leave a comment on what an amazing judge William Adams is
• Call Aransas County Court Judge C.H. "Burt" Mills at (361)790-0100 and tell them you think it's bullshit that anyone has anything negative to say about Judge William "Bitch had it coming, and I was glad to give it to her" Adams. Then yell that she didn't deserve to live in that house!
• If all else fails, some good old gay hookers from Craigslist should do the trick.

Græt success

	“	Sheriff Bill Mills said Wednesday that William Adams, a family law judge who handles child abuse cases, has disconnected his phone because of threatening calls and faxes after the video went viral. Mills said Adams told him he did not plan to go to his office at the courthouse Wednesday.	„
	— God bless you Anon

Blackmail?

When the video went up on Reddit, people immediately started questioning why the furry waited so long to post the video, instead of reporting it immediately to the authorities. She replied back on Reddit saying that she was saving the video until her dad made her mad. He made her mad just recently, so she posted the video in order for the judge to receive the 99%ers and soccer moms' wraths. It's also worth noting that she posted it about a week before his re-election HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, he's not up for re-election for another three years! But that does not stop Facebook.

That's a Paddlin'

Vidya gaems? That's a paddlin'

Apparently he has more in common with them Jappos than he thinks

Another Godless Hippie Heathen (Warning: video contains an asshole)

Hillary pounding away at the keys like her daddy pounded away at her

Previous Video | Next Video

See also

• Christian Spanking Blogs
• Rusty Ray - possible bff?

==External Links==\

• WhitePages.com profile of William Adams (CONFIRMED)
• Aransas County Court-At-Law Page - Has the phone number for the court where he works. I heard he likes pizza!
• Aransas County Court Contact Page - Let them know that one of their judges is about to be fucked a la Anthony Weiner
• Gawker coverage of story
• Daily Mail coverage.
• Local News (Corpus Cristi, TX) coverage (with a statement from Billy)
• CNN Coverage (OH SHIT NATIONAL NEWS)
• Faux News affiliate
• Forbes article on the video and internet revenge
• 212 related articles and counting about Judge Dredd on Jewgle News including Huffington Post, Faux News, and even some Zimbabwean news blog! The butthurt is truly beginning to flow

Judge William Adams is part of a series on Gay Republicans [NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

Homofags Andrew Shirvell • Ann Coulter • Ben Johnson • Bob Allen • Bubba Copeland • Charlie Check'm • Corrupt.org • Chuck Norris • Cigarskunk • Condoleezza Rice • David Vitter • George Rekers • Ghost • Jack Thompson • Jason Aula • Jeff Gannon • Judge William Adams • Larry Craig • Lindsey Graham • Marco Rubio • Mark Foley • Matt Drudge • Matt Sanchez • Michael Savage • Mike Pence • MONGO • Nickolaus • Nick Fuentes • Norm Coleman • Patrick McHenry • Richard Curtis • Rick Perry • Roy Ashburn • Roy Moore • Rusty Ray • Rick Santorum • Silver Seren • Ted Haggard • Trent Lott • Troy King • UpDownMostly See Also The Daytona Nine • Ex-Gay • Heterosexuality • Homophobia • Homosexuality • No Homo • Not gay

Featured article November 2, 2011 & November 3, 2011
Preceded by FanFiction	Judge William Adams	Succeeded by Flipnote Hatena