Iraq

In the early days of the Coalition occupation, Baghdad's revered museum of antiquities was looted by opium addicts.

Iraq is yet another barren, war-ridden shithole of a country in the Middle East, home to loads of smelly, primitive Sandniggers and Kurds, all which happen to be batshit insane Muslims. One would think that such a worthless piece of shit would have no relevance to the modern world and be of no value whatsoever. But, due to the country having lots and lots of oil, the 'Murikans and the rest of the West can't seem get enough of the country and have bombed, invaded, colonized, looted, and generally pwned the country since at least 100 years ago, generating loads of IRL drama in the process.

Start here

In 2003, George Bush got butthurt after being taunted by the Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, who then invaded and occupied Boobylon, raped the U.S. economy, and sought control of Iraq's vast deposits of oil, as well as the profitable schoolhouse-painting industry (known among insiders simply as "the biz"). Iraq would also have served as a base for a future attack on Iran, but Donald Rumsfailed fucked it all up.

Operation Oilraqi Faildumb

Saddam's weapons of mass destruction.

Iraq was the victim of a massively-homicidal failed oil and gas exploration (Operation Oilraqi Faildumb). Test wells were drilled into the skulls of 150,000 hapless sand-niggers with M16 rifles. The brown ones were liberated from the tyranny of mineral wealth a second time because War Wars I failed to steal enough. This is what Iraqi Freetards call "liberation": bombing to death a mountain of people that did nothing to them, kicking in survivors’ doors every night for a decade, shutting off their power and water and making them live knee-deep in their own shit and trash and shooting to death anyone that doesn’t immediately stop at occupation road blocks that are ten feet apart. Criminally-insane oil executive Dick Cheney helped Iraqi Freetards understand that when we drop bombs on cities it's always out of love.

This is the “Bush Doctrine:” if you drop enough bombs on the brown’ens eventually they is Christians, roses and American flags sprout from their buttocks and they love you. When rag-heads do it they call it Jihad but we have uniforms so it’s different.

Operation Oilraqi Faildumb was also the dumbest and least successful military maneuver since the Maginot Line or ever. Team Neocon World Police spent a trillion dollars invading a country with no military and no weapons of even minimal destruction and lost to starving peons with counterfeit AKs and no electricity. Even the neocons admitted the Special Olympics War Games had been a failure after participants knocked over every hurdle. Asked how the most expensive gas-station robbery in history had gone so badly, W replied: "Anyone that don’t sig heil Iraqi Freedumb is from Nigger Town and hates freedom and the terrorises win. Derp terrorizers freedumb ‘Murka derp derp.”

The Coalition of the Willing to Kill Brown People for Money contained token Lobster-Backs and other irrelevant nationalities but no one cared. The United Kingdom's strategy of dropping tons of bad teeth from a formation of bombers was a failure and thankfully they were frequently the victims of friendly fire. The Australians were predictably deported for petty theft and other alcohol-related crimes.

Freedumb isn’t free of course and many leftards don’t understand Iraqi Freedumb was more about stealing gold from Fort Knox than stealing oil. Instead of going down to Wal-mart and buying Batman Halloween costumes and hunting rifles with their own money, the Neocon Republicommunist LeftRight stole $1,000,000,000,000+ from American taxpayers at IRS gun point. Evil Jews and their prostitutes were mostly responsible for Operation Evil Penis Freedumb.

Operation Oilraqi Freedumb: Your Tax dollars at work

War from a Soldier's point-of-view

Previous Video | Next Video

History

Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki (right) confers with unidentified Coalition soldier.

Iraq was invented last Thursday because American teenagers needed a place to party and rape underage girls after being denied access to such locales as Panama City, Florida and Padre Island in Texas. Also, there are far fewer seagulls stealing your Cheetos in Iraq than in them other places.

Dan Rather, the mastermind behind Operation Oilraqi Freedumb.

Iraq began to exist independently as soon as everyone realized that the Ottoman Empire was never a real country at all, sending Dan Rather down in flames after his practice of reporting "live on location" from a location which didn't exist was thus revealed.

If you disagree with Operation Iraqi Freedom, you are either a terrorist, an America-hating liberal, or worse, French. If you agree, you are a true American, probably Christian, probably rich, and definitely hire migrant labor.

20 percent of all available bandwidth on the Internets is taken up by people arguing about Iraq (the other 80% is devoted to pr0n). On one side you have fat-fuck rednecks waving flags, and on the other you have hippies smoking pot. The dialogue is never intelligent, informed, or very amusing; that is until a flame war erupts, and then it is GAME ON!

• April 20, 2006: Iraqi Resistance Growing Stronger...And Speaking Better English, Too

List of Iraq Faggotry

• Invasion of Kuwait (Cause only America has the right to invade - duh!)
• 9/11 (Saddam and Osama are both Muslim, 'nuff said!)
• Assasination of John F. Kennedy (Why not, might as well pin that on Saddam!)
• The sinking of the Titanic (Iraq is hot, and it stole the heat from the iceberg that sank the Titanic - elementary my dear Watson!)
• The Hindenburg explosion (Self Explanatory!)
• Pearl Harbor (All dem Azns look alike!)
• The Holocaust (Indeed, both Hitler and Saddam had the 'stache!)
• Boston Massacre (Boston Massacre/Falluhaj Massacre, Potato'/Pota'to - elementary!)
• Nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki (Japan joined the Coalition for a reason!)
• The invasion of Iraq by the United States (Self explanatory, nothing the U.S. does is America's Fault, and Iraq's the only other country left!)
• The death of Steve Jobs (Self Explanatory)
• Iraq (Yes, its their fault they exist)

War of TERRAH!!

Fighting the War on Terror by invading Iraq is the equivalent of sticking some rusty syringes and a live grenade up your asshole to combat an upset stomach.

THIS IS AN ACCURATE COMPARISON

Why we really went to Iraq.

Present-Day Iraq

Lol noone cares

Last Thursday, America elected a new president who promised to take the military out of the Persian Gulf. Since then, the public's attention has been refocused to moar important things. Due to these happenings, Iraq remains the same shithole that America left it. Some Argue that Iraq is actually worse now than when America invaded it, but most are just attention whores trying to stir up drama.

Praise for Iraq

Iraq is such a safe place to work that one can easily become an internet film star

"I believe that the government that governs best is the government that governs least, and by these standards we have established an exemplary government in Iraq" - Stephen Colbert, praising W at the White House Correspondence Dinner.

"The Earth is overpopulated, thank you for removing that million!" - Environmentalists praising Iraq.

"No Human Rights violations took place at Fallujah. The Bombs dropped were smart, nice & fluffy" - Human Rights Watch praising the Liberation!

"Thank you for handing Iraq over to us on a silver platter, while tying up the infidel army in a Quagmire" - Ahmadinejad's praise for W's actions in Iraq.

"Thank you for letting us raep you at the pump, while our allies at Blackwater raep Iraq girls; it is important to exchange feelings of hurt in cultural exchanges" - Oil Companies. (Military needs oil, Iraq produces less oil due to warfare. As demand goes up and supply goes down, price goes up, that's economics 101.)

Americunt Soldiers Destroying Iraqi Property for the Lulz and Justice!

Of course destroying the precious property of a few anarchy-ridden, desperate for survival, looting Arabs is always lulzy for your average nice, family friendly American solider! Note that one of those happy, car-crushing soldiers in that video was also a Arab himself, so how can he laugh at destroying the precious property of his follow desperate kin? Absolutely The American solders were doing it right by destroying those immoral, thieving, greedy bastards' car! That's what you get for collecting precious wood in your own war-torn country which was improved by us nice Americans, you Iraqi scumbags. American justice ftw!

American Ends The Iraq War on Dec 18th 2011

Too bad no more than 4,600 American soldiers were IRL PWNT (not including mercenaries like Black Water) compared to the 10,000 plus in Vietnam and Korea yet Amurikas are BAWWWWWING over the horrible losses of American lives in Iraq...disregarding the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF IRAQIs killed who were mostly terrorists innocent civilians. Mission accomplished! Now them Persians Iranians are next! Hopefully the Americans can pull a 300 Spartan on them Poorsian arses by disarming them of their deadly nuclear weapons! American will now complete their mission to eradicate terrorism from the Middle East by fighting and beating Iran. Of course, invading Iran has nothing to do with gaining more control oil for big corporations.