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Max Harris: Difference between revisions

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{{timeline|Featured article August 1 & 2, [[2012]]|[[First World Problems]]|{{PAGENAME}}|Incumbent}}
{{timeline|Featured article August 1 & 2, [[2012]]|[[First World Problems]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Linux for Niggers]]}}


[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]

Revision as of 22:51, 29 July 2012

FACT ALERT:
Max finally realised that nobody likes his music, and, in a fit of self-loathing and shame, made his Jewtube videos private! baleeted the song that won him internet fame, "High"!

Max Harris is, like many of today's youths, a gigantic faggot. And, like many of today's gigantic faggots, Max Harris thinks that he is a deep, intelligent, talented yet troubled, wounded dark knight. Oh, did we mention that he's also a fat bastard?

One day, during one of his many crying fits on his father's bed after just being brutally sodomized, he drew inspiration and courage from his father's semen dribbling out of his bruised, puckered asshole. Thus, Max Harris Music was born, an abhorrent Jewtube channel that contains the highly retarded song, "Stronger", which simply features a low-res, black and white picture of Max Harris looking brooding and troubled. The song itself is pitiful, and is full of fail and AIDS.

However, the channel also contains the far more lulzy song, "High", in which Max has been kind enough to produce a god-awful music video to accompany the "music", culminating in three of your senses being raped, as you can literally taste fecal matter while viewing.

Oh sweet Christ, it's almost too perfect.

The lyrics primarily consist of him singing about how he wants to do heroin and that he doesn't afraid of anything, while sensually grinding against the brick wall of his house in his back garden, utilising a wide-angle lens so we can see just how ugly this fucker is. Bonus lulz for the scene where he pretends to break down and cry like the bitch he is.

   
 
I'm singing! Someone help me, please help me, help me! *sob*
 

 
 

—Max Harris, on his inability to sing.


Oh, and he also attempts to do pop-style street dancing in the alley next to his house, resulting in what appears to be a fatty giving himself a rub-down, as well as nestling the camera in the grass and having it look up at him, in what he clearly intended to be an artsy shot, but ended up looking like he was being filmed through one of those fake-turd-cams they use in nature documentaries.

Max Harris is the perfect example of a modern tweenage boy, proving that all males his age must be lined up and summarily shot, with extreme prejudice, lest they inflict their faggotry upon us all. Nice going, Max Harris, you're the new type specimen for human vermin.


See Also

External Links


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Featured article August 1 & 2, 2012
Preceded by
First World Problems
Max Harris Succeeded by
Linux for Niggers