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Ontario: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 21:59, 22 June 2014
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This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us! |
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Ontario is a boot that sticks into America. This was created by the British to tell the Americunts to GTFO and kicked them out. Glory spread across the people of Canada as they burned down the White House and slaughtered Americans in the war of 1812. This was the last good thing that Ontario ever did.
History
After the 7 Year War, the Britfags told France to get out of Canada so they could expand their glorious Retard Empire of Fuckness. The French listened to the fucktarded Britons and went to Quebec where they still dwell today. At least 100 years later, the Americans gained their independence and declared July 4th, 1776 An Hero Day! This just goes to show that Americans have always been retards as they didn't gain independence until 1783. After this, all the remaining Loyalists moved to Ontario in hopes of becoming important. This proves that Canadians are also retards They came from America.
Skipping forward another 100 years, Canada joined World War II on the allies and this is the last notable thing they did up until Afghanistan. During WWII, Canada almost did something! This was a great achievement for Ontario as they were the only people who were in the war, as its the only inhabited place in Canada. Quebec isn't civilized so it doesn't count.
The rest of Ontario's history is more boring than beavers, so we will just skip it.
Government & Politics
Ontario is run by a Leftard named President Dalton McGuinty Dopey McSpending. Dopey McSpending is known for stealing money from rich people, giving it to poor people, and using the rest to create green energy. Dopey McSpendy got the province from the richest of them all to $251.9 billion in debt in 8 years. Because of this, Onterrible's new motto is "BETTER THAN OBAMA :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"
The government supports Gay marriage. But then again, which Liberal doesn't?
2011 Elections
Dopey McSpending has proven to be the most unlucky candidate ever. Due to Canada's Over 9000 party system, You need to have more than ALL TEH OTHA PARTEEZ COMBINEDZ0RZ!!!111!!1one!!11!!1Exclamationmark!!11!!seventyfour!#4~``!1!1 to be able to do anything when you are President. Unluckily for McSpending, he was ONE SEAT AWAY FROM MAJORITY. This means he is President, but he lacks the power to do anything due to his lack of one person.
McSpending's best talent is lying to the public about everything. He makes promises like "I R GET MONY 2 U FROM NOWER AND MAEK EVERYTING GOOD" and "ITS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" to get elected. Its not that hes good at it, its that people like You are terrible at existing.
Rob Ford
Like civilized places like Mexico, Ontario has towns which have mayors. These are also part of Politics. One of these mayors is conservative Rob Ford. For more information on retards, see Rob Ford.
Ontario is Green
Ontario teamed up with Obama to create The Eco Team which makes sure that everything is green and free from evil conservative oil. For more information on Green Jobs, please watch the following video. This is actually Obama's green jobs shit but its all the same. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnJcjgAdsS1k
People
There is a wide variety of people from Ontario's 12 million people:
- Emos
- Witches
- Dopey McSpending
- Canadians
- Christfags
- Jews
- Muslims
- Chinese
- Other immigrants
- Honor Killers
- Liberals
- You
Honor Killings
— Mohammad Shafia | ||
In early 2012, some Muslim retard in Kingston killed his two daughters and his wife for the legitimate reason of being Canadian. After all, who would want his daughters to be Canadian? In conclusion, he put them in a car and pushed them off a bridge. The only problem with this is that the amount of water in the car would allow them to get out, and the fact that the cheap Nissan they bought was front wheel drive, the car had no way of driving off a bridge anyways! What retards Muslims are.
List of Nationalities in Ontario
There are so many different nationalities in Ontario, we just decided to do it through a gay song written in the 90's. You probably wont enjoy it as it is gay. Your gay, so you will like it.
Things to do in Ontario
That's basically it.
How to Troll an Ontarian
- Honor kill you daughters
- Build streetcars in the middle of the road
- Be Conservative
- Call them straight
- Openly support Assad
- Openly support Israel
- Go to university and say you are Conservative
- Throw somebody over Niagra falls
- Create a civilization in the Portlands
- Send a ninja to kill Rob Ford
- Say you like Rob Ford
- Pull a dead horse up younge street on Sundays
- Watch FOX News
- PRODUCE ANY TYPE OF LULZ POSSIBLE
- Call them Americans
- Point out that they are not part of the British Empire
- Tell them that America won 1812
- Tell them that ONTARIO DID WTC
- Call them Jew Yorkers
- Point out to a conservative that Alberta has all the oil
- Tape a "Kony 4 President" sign on someone's face
- Threaten to lower Taxes
- Tell them that McSpending puts the Terrible back in Onterrible
Gender is a Choice
Last Thursday, The Ontario Human Rights Commission declared that Gender is officially a choice in Onterrible. Even if you have a Penis, you can still be a woman somehow. You don't even need to be MTF or FTM anymore, just say whatever gender you are, and that is what you are!
Tl;dr
Ontario is a frozen wasteland with no money that's full of immigrants from places like India and it lacks stuff to do. The only interesting thing in the entire province is the giant penis in the middle of Toronto. If you don't get killed by Honor Killers, then you are sure to freeze to death.
