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2014: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 14:56, 24 September 2014
2014, another year in drama. Here's a look at its greatest events through the cunning eyes of the dramacrat.
Dramatica Events from 2014
January
- Sue Basko's twitter campaign against ED and Doxbin goes into full force, after beginning in the last week of December.
- Belly rubs are in.
February
- Ragnarok happened, apparently.
March
- Welfare whale Monica Punk posts a video of herself calling the cops on people that are "bullying" her on the internet. She later finds herself the victim of prank calls and deceitful friendships reminiscent of the good ol' days of Chris-chan.
April
- A kid tries shooting up his school with a knife, failing to kill anyone (including himself).
- weev becomes a free man after his prison conviction gets vacated. He served 13 months of the 41 month sentence (he wasn't set to be released until January 2016).
- Aspiring attorney at lol, acquaintance of Sue Basko, and enemy of the lulz Joseph Camp gets sent back to jail after allegedly violating his post-supervised release.
May
- ED and its forums go down for over a month. An alarming rate of lulz withdrawals occur worldwide.
- Virgin rage turns deadly when "Supreme Gentleman" Elliot Rodger goes on a killing spree, kills himself, and leaves behind a trail of desperate forum posts and manifestos.
#YesAllWomen begins trending as a result.
June
- EDiots band together and donate all their lunch money, trust funds, welfare income, and stolen credit cards in order to bring ED back online. Now with less ads and lulzier than ever!
- After getting v& in April, Deric Lostutter proceeds to fame-fag his way into the media spotlight by confirming his identity as KYAnonymous, the leader of the OpRollRedRoll Anonymous hive.
- Japan finally bans CP.
LulzTalkRadio airs its final episode.
July
- Some guy starts a Kickstarter fund to raise $10 to buy potato salad and ends up getting thousands of dollars in donations. It's currently reached $70,000, but then it dropped to $44,000 the very next night. It closed with just under $55,500 pledged.
- Incompetent lawyer Jason Lee Van Dyke (no, not Sue Basko this time) sues Pink Meth for being a "revenge porn" site, and ignorantly includes Tor in the lulsuit for hosting it. Hilarious exchanges are had with the gun-totin', truck-drivin' Texan on Facebook and Twitter, which he ended up deleting in a failed attempt to erase his actions. He later realizes half of his stupidity and drops the suit against Tor.
- The #Jadapose craze sweeps the nation after photos of a black girl's allegedly raped body are posted and subsequently mocked on the internet, sparking hashtags, trendy photos and dances, and butthurt feminism.
- Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 gets shot down out of the sky in Ukrainian airspace, raining corpses of AIDS researchers and dead babies. Pilot Parker is identified as the culprit by conspiracy theorists.
August
- 18-year-old Michael Brown is gunned down by white officer Darren Wilson after being caught on surveillance camera robbing a convenience store. The resulting chimpout declares it to be "Trayvon part 2," Anonymous fails with OpFerguson by incorrectly doxing the responsible cop before his name was outed, and a fundraiser which had been set up to help the brave officer relocate raises almost $200,000 in a mere 23 days.
- In an ironic twist of fate, the Ice Bucket Challenge manages to kill more people than the disease it's meant to save people from.
- US journalist James Foley becomes an international star after Anonymous supporting rapper L. Jinny beheads him live on video. A sequel starring Steven Sotloff followed shortly after.
- Robin Williams makes a bid for the Golden iPod by hanging himself at his home. His daughter quits the internet for good after trolls bombard her with fake pictures of her dead dad.
- Zoe Quinn fucks at least 5 different video game designers and journalists (some from pro-feminist website Kotaku) in exchange for positive reviews on the shitty text-based game she created. Feminazis and SJWs immediately rush to her aid, including Phil Fish, who suffered such an intense online raping that he closed both his Twitter and gaming company down out of butthurt.
- 4chan donates a buttload of cash to a women's charity for video games, earning them a character in one of the games. The ending result is Vivian James. Meanwhile, butthurt feminazi Patricia Hernandez uses a Twitter sock account to declare 4chan to be the "Cathedral of Misogyny" for supporting women's charities and donating to colon cancer to chemo butthurt. Reddit winds up earning a character down the road as well and churns out Gilda Mars, a female version of the Reddit alien. Vivian-Gilda rule 34 expected to follow.
- The Fappening is happening! Aka Celebgate 2014, aka hundreds of nude and scantily-clad female celebrities steadily being leaked on AnonIB and 4chan. Stand by for damage control.
- GamerGate blows up as a result of the Zoe Quinn controversy. In a pathetic attempt at damage control and derailment, the gaming media refuses to lend credence to the actual truth or accept responsibility for the exposed collusion and instead blames everything on gamers. No, srsly.
September
- TJ Lane escapes from prison on 9/11, only to be caught 6 hours later in front of a farmhouse in the woods, armed with a fucking pitchfork. He fails to add to his previous high score and peacefully returns to his life of anal penetration in the slammer.
- Oddgoy✡, ED's token jew, releases his greatest articles collection. It flops like a big donkey dick.
- Long-time ED veteran Phobos finally gets his banhammer. TRIGGER WARNING: prepare for a rapein'.
- 4chan dies as a result of SJW takeover and moot caving in to their scary threats. 8chan rises from its ashes.
