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| [[Image:Evo Morales.jpg|thumb|The head of state with presidential dandruff.]]
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| [[Image:Llama.jpg|thumb|Bolivian in his natural habitat.]]
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| '''Bulivya Mamallaqta''', '''Wuliwya Suyu''', '''[[tits|Tetã Volívia]]''', '''Argentina's Mexico''', '''Red Zimbabwe''', or just [[Bolivia]], is a giant reservation somewhere in [[South America]]. Formerly [[owned]] by the Incas and later the [[Spanish]], it presently joins [[Cuba]] and [[Venezuela]] in promoting [[Socialism]] and constantly undermining [[America|the great capitalist Satan]].
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| Bolivian achievements include killing [[Che Guevara]], and subsequently worshipping him, and copying [[Brazil]]'s ''Christ the Redeemer'' statue.
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| ==History==
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| [[Image:Inca Banner.png|thumb|The symbol of the Incas (no [[srsly]])]]
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| The indigenous Aymara built a great empire they named ''Tiwanaku'' that grew to [[epic]] proportions by [[fellatio|sucking]] in surrounding lesser tribes. They solidified their grand [[furry]]dom by introducing the llama which was both [[god]] and primary transportation. This went on for [[at least 100|centuries]] before disappearing for [[global warming|no apparent reason]].
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| The Incas then came along only to find [[nothing of value]]. Being driven by conquest, they decided to set up shop anyway and continue the llama dance with all the human sacrifice, [[cannibalism]], and worship of heathen gods it curtails.
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| The [[pwning]] of the Inca by Francisco Pizarro and his band of merry men meant the arrival of [[Christian]] values and the enslavement of the local peoples as proclaimed by the Lord Almighty. Here the unwashed savages were used as beasts of burden in a divine act of [[karma]], delivering to their righteous conquerers all the [[delicious cake|delicious silver]] the Incas failed to take notice of.
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| After a few hundred years the all-[[white]] aristocracy grew tired of the increasingly [[liberal]] [[Empire]] and rallied their Indian servants to [[ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH]]. In the century after becoming a republic, Bolivia went and lost half its territory to [[Peru]], Brazil, [[Chile]], and even [[Paraguay]], eventually becoming landlocked and [[poor]]. All this [[fail]] coupled with the shitty life of the Natives led to a [[Revolution]] around the same time the important countries were having [[WWII]].
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| A military junta backed by the [[CIA]] then came in to [[NO U]] the socialism of the MNR and backtrack any [[civil rights]] that came into existence. Naturally a wave of [[Communist|Maoist]] [[terrorism]] came along to [[Trolls Trolling Trolls|troll the trolls]]. It was during this time that Bolivia's greatest leader, [[Hitler|Luis García Meza]], rose to power. He successfully strengthened the economy, restored law and order, told the labor unions to [[STFU]], and got rid of those pesky terrorists and their families and anyone believed to be a threat to the state [[FTW|for good measure]].
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| Despite this [[epic win]], [[Reagan]] didn't care much for the selling of narcotics and had the CIA get rid of Meza. Since then, Bolivia has been a [[democracy]] with only a few major [[riots]] during the last decade.
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| <br><br><br>
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| ==Economy==
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| [[Image:Coke mounds.jpg|thumb]]
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| As a snow-covered nation, Bolivia's leading export is [[cocaine]]. Its people have been using it for [[over 9000|thousands of years]] as a necessary [[drug|stimulant]] because they live so high (in the atmosphere). Hence they see [[awwright|nothing wrong with keeping it legal]].
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| Since it is so very cold and dry up there, they also have plenty of salt to throw around. This is most helpful in getting down their cuisine centered around [[pig]] and other [[animal]] [[testicles]].
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| Other products include llamas, [[llamas|alpacas]], deafening pan-pipe music, those pointy puffball knit hats with the strings, [[vespene gas]], and cheap migrant labor.
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| <br><br><br>
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| ==World's Highest Capital==
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| <!-- [[Image:La Paz.jpg|thumb|Thriving night life]] -->
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| La Paz is the nation's capital and economic center, rising [[over 9000|over 11,000 feet]] into the atmosphere. As expected, it is an urban [[ghetto]] where everyone from everywhere looks to for a better life, where they subsequently fail and pack up for [[Argentina]]. Its greatest attraction, however, is the local millionares club known as San Pedro [[prison]], [[Srsly|complete with daycare and family housing quarters]]. Here [[99.9%]] of Bolivia's ecomony is centered as a manufacturer of purified coca and a [[popular]] destination for [[British]] tourists looking to get shanked.
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| <br><br><br>
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| ==The High Chief==
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| [[Image:Evo_morales1.jpg|thumb|Evo tends to his beloved coca plant.]]
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| Bolivia's current president is Evo Morales, who advertises himself as the world's first all-[[Injun]] head of state, though he is totally unaware that [[Mexico]] already had an Injun president [[Last Thursday|back in the 1800s]]. Nonetheless, his policies include legalizing cocaine, [[Bill Cosby|lame sweaters]], and giving the land back to the native peoples by land reform and distribution. [[Zimbabwe|Doesn't that sound familiar]]?
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| He is frequently seen with [[BFF]] [[Hugo Chavez]] in sticking it to the evil freedom-loving empire that is the United States. As such, Evo has told the CIA to take its [[war on drugs]] and [[GTFO]].
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| ==The High Road==
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| <!-- [[Image:Road of Death.jpg|thumb|Oooh Scary]] -->
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| The Yungas Road connects La Paz to the town of [[nobody cares|Coroico]] and is the only way to get to and from the lush Rainforest region. It was built by Paraguayan prisoners of war who thought it [[lulzworthy]] to build something that would force Bolivians to constantly risk their lives in using it. Constantly under threat of [[rain]] and [[smoke|fog]], Bolivians to this day would rather rely on this disaster in the making as opposed to taking the effort to build a road over or through the mountains. Of course this draws the attention of white tourists who see it as [[EXTREME ADVERTISING|THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!!! DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO CHALLENGE THE ROAD OF DEATH?!?! OVER 100 PEOPLE DIE EACH YEAR CROSSING IT! WHAT FALLS TO THE VALLEY BELOW NEVER COMES OUT AND IT PLANS TO MAKE YOU THE NEXT VICTIM! COME ON PUSSY IT WAITS FOR YOOUUU!!!!]]
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| <!-- ==Gallery==
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| <center><gallery>
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| Image:HugoMahBoi.jpg|[[LINK MAH BOIIIII|HUGO MAH BOIIIII]]
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| Image:Che monument.jpg|''Che the Redeemer''
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| Image:Bolivia1.jpg|How Bolivia and Venezuela see the U.S.
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| Image:Bolivia parade.jpg|Bolivian [[loli]] parade
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| Image:Evo_lazer.jpg|[[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|IMMA WATERIN MAH GANJA]]
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| Image:Evo shoeshine.jpg|Evo answers to his true calling.
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| Image:Che Coke.jpg|Che is recognized as a [[Coke]] head.
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| Image:Bolivian woman.jpg|[[I'd hit it]].
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| </gallery></center> -->
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| == [[Homo|In the Navy]] ==
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| <center><video type="youtube" id="Wv8W8Soo1GY" width="852" height="510" frame="true" position="center"/></center><br>
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| ==See Also==
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| * [[Poverty]]
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| * [[Chile]]
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| * [[Mexico]]
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| * [[Peru]]
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| * [[Venezuela]]
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| {{Commonwealth}}
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| [[Category:Locations]]
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