Robert Pierson

Can't you just feel the smart flowing off him?

Robert Pierson lived in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania but probably belonged in a trailer park. His legendary arm strength gave him respectable credentials among the teammates of his shitty highschool baseball team in gym shower circlejerks. He attacked a group of kids who allegedly responded by shooting him in an act of self defense.

	“	Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.	„
	——Matthew 26:52

The Incident

nevr 4get

On the night of March 23rd, Robert was chillin' out, maxin' and relaxin' all cool around North Philadelphia, shooting empty cans and drinking alcohol free Vodka, when some urban minorities decided to cross racial boundaries. Robert and his crew appeared to have taken an animalistic issue with some black men entering their neighborhood, so they made an attempt to catalyze a race war. Robert decided to break a glass bottle over one of the their heads. With every action is a reaction, this particular one getting him shot three times in the chest.

911 was immediately called by one of Rob's crew, and ambulances reported to the scene almost instantly, wheeling Robert off to the hospital, where he fought for his life for three weeks. Allegedly the dirty nigger had the gun because they came to the land of the Sour-Kraut people to get some reparations from over-privileged suburban brats.

The Trial

UNITED WE STAND!!1

About a year after Robert met his demise, a trial took place to sentence the boys who popped a cap in the respective boy's ass. The most upstanding of these men who probably went on to a prestigious medical school, Quinzell McCall, was accused of firing the shots. Pierson's two friends testified against Quinzell, pinning the shooting on him. However accusations of racial bias and conspiracy (the shots clearly came from the grassy knoll) proved these men to be liars, and Quinzell and his two friends were justly acquitted. This verdict provoked much rage and anger from the Piersons, since of course, Pierson in no way at all brought it on himself. Nope. Not at all.

Citypaper

The Citypaper is abbreviated CP. Coincidence? I think not.

Immediately after the verdict was read, the internets broke loose with racial tensions abound. Citypaper, a poor Philadelphia based weekly that noone really cares about, developed a fetish for Pierson, constantly reporting on him and his fucked up family. Because like most Web 2.0 influenced sites, Philadelphians were able to comment on the slew of articles they published on Pierson, much arguing broke out between the McCalls and the Piersons, with constant bouts of 'NO U' flung around.[1][2][3][4][5][6]

In the initial article where word broke that Quinzell was free, a gigantic internet fight broke out, thanks in part to some shitty programming that allowed people to post comments without having them screened. Citypaper apologized furiously the next day to their dozens and dozens of readers for having to read those awful, awful comments.[7][8]

Monica Pierson

omg hott!!

Although most of the Pierson family decided to remain tight lipped while sobbing in their run down, Philadelphia shack, Robert's sister Monica Pierson was quite vocal about the whole thing, using the power of intertubular communication to whine about her mentally challenged jock brother's death. She found herself getting into internet fights with various people wanting to free Quinzell([9]), and showcasing her severe case of internet disease by taking horrific pictures of herself and putting them on MySpace.[10][11]

If she really cared about her brother she'd stage a set of honor killings against those who killed him.

In her spare time, Monica enjoys dressing like a whore and listening to various emo bands such as My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park. As a child, Monica went to Bache-Martin Elementary School, and was later transferred to Saint Francis Catholic School so she could be straightened out, and molested with all the love and care Catholics know so much about. If you want further personal information on Monica, post in this article's talk page.

Being a Bitch-ass Whiner

	“	"Well today has to be one of the worst days of my life. FIrst I find out someone is talking about my brother in one of the worst ways possible when he is not even here to defend himself and then second I am being called a whore and told that my myspace pictures were horrific and i listen to emo bands so im weird.I really don't deserve this, its bad that I already lost my brother and now my family is being basically made fun of for crying because my brother was shot and killed.All I wanted to say was that people in this world are crazy. I dont know how people could just talk about people who are dead. Can people just leave my family alone and go on with their lives? M.Pierson http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Robert_Pierson this is the site im talking about."	„
	—Monica Pierson

	“	what are you supposed to be? .. you sound like a devil or something like this is crazy who does stuff like this?	„
	—Monica gets angrier

Gallery

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  =D
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  Robert's fucktarded friends, thinking you can 'get better' from dying.
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  DRAMATIC!

The Drama

Some srs drama unfolded when Mr. and Mrs. Pierson found out about this article and subsequently shit bricks. Through some outstanding detective work they were able to deduce that the original writer of this article was Pokchu. Pokchu was an underage ED sysop at the time and the Piersons decided that the best course of action was to threaten lolsuits and hate crime arrests. In response, Pokchu's mother sent an email to ED administrators complaining about her sons potential rape and dishing out half-assed threats about cease and desist orders.

From: Barb <[email protected]> 
Date: February 7, 2008 12:00:03 PM EST 
To: [email protected], [email protected] 
Subject: The Robert Pierson Article on ED 
Dear ED Site Administrators: 
I am writing to you on behalf of my son, whom you know on your site as Pokchu, and who is now in legal dire straits due to this 
article: 
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Robert_Pierson 

In its current state, it is far less than an inflammatory ridicule of both a murdered boy and his mourning sister. However, because
of its original content and the fact that Pierson's sisters were able to correctly deduce that my son is the author, the police came 
to our house last night and spoke to my husband and me as well as our son about the grave situation. We are very concerned, and 
because we know you like our son, I hope you are concerned as well. 
 
In Pennsylvania, where we live, we now have hate-crime legislation that could be used to bring charges against our son for this 
article and federal statues regarding computer use could also come into play. He risks being a convicted felon at the age of 15
because of this article. That is how serious this is. He cannot simply deny that he wrote the article; his user name is too closely
and definitely associated with his identity, so that ship has sailed, I'm afraid. 

You wrote, "Writing internet articles is not something worth pursuing against a 14 year old who has no assets." That's not quite true. 
He has assets: his parents. We face losing our house and all of our savings if we need to pay for legal counsel to defend him in 
court, and a 15 year old boy risks losing his place in a wonderful high school and going to juvie. Repeatedly reposting the 
original article content is compromising his ability to make things right and alle 

Right now you face the possibility of soon receiving a Cease & Desist order from the Piersons' lawyer if you do not stop reinstating 
the offensive content that our son has deleted/altered; the commonwealth of Pennsylvania and/or Illinois could charge you with 
corrupting the morals of a minor for misleading our son into believing that the previous content did not violate both state and 
federal hate crime laws, and for failing to police your own site and reposting del 

All you need to do to avoid all of the above is to stop reinstating the original content. Please do us all a favor and allow the 
current content to stand; then we may have a chance of doing some damage-control with the Pierson family and defusing a very tense 
situation that could still have a permanent negative effect on our son's life. 

Sincerely, 
Barbara Purdom