Cyberviolence

Typical reaction to this kind of shit

Be sure to wear a mask when committing cyberviolence

CYBERVIOLENCE IN PROGRESS

The "D" is the key to cyberviolence

	“	cyber touch is recognized as equally as harmful as physical touch	„
	—United Nations, on cyber violence

Cyberviolence is the latest in a series of new Internet crimes, designed to protect special snowflakes from the typed words of Internet critics. Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian have claimed cyberviolence is a "cottage industry", fully aware that they are the only people who profit from Internet harassment. The perpetrators of cyberviolence are only in it for the lulz, meanwhile the Patreon accounts of the tireless defenders of Internet feminism swell with thousands of dollars, keeping them safe from the dangerous typed words of heterosexual CIS shitlords.

UNESCO Report

Anita and Zoe take the UN

	“	U.N. Says Cyber Violence Is Equivalent to Physical Violence Against Women	„
	—Time Magazine, comparing real violence to online harassment

Under the new guidelines, even such things as blasphemy, trolling, advocacy of genocide and suicide and other things that were perfectly acceptable, are now considered equivalent to IRL violence such as rape and murder. In less enlightened times, the only solution would be to either buy a dog or call the cyberpolice.

	“	Cyber VAWG includes hate speech (publishing a blasphemous libel), hacking (intercepting private communications), identity theft, online stalking (criminal harassment) and uttering threats. It can entail convincing a target to end their lives (counselling suicide or advocating genocide).	„
	—The UN report on Cyber violence, dictating the new definition of violence

Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian stood before the United Nations and proudly presented the 70 page report. Within days the report was analyzed by Internet commentators, who found numerous sourcing errors so hilarious that UNESCO ended up retracting the report.

Conspiracy Shit

Some of you may be wondering why the UN would invite a con artist and a prostitute to give a speech. Well, Ban Ki Moon's (the former chairman of the UN) assistant's wife runs an SJW video game award where she gave out prizes to both Anita and Zoe.

Retraction

After the problems with the report and its sourcing were exposed for the lulz and graet justice, the report was retracted with the following announcement:

	“	This report is currently in revision and will be re-posted as soon as all relevant inputs have been taken onboard.	„
	—Inputs?

Even co-author Zoe Quinn backed away from this shit show, saying "I'm disappointed" immediately before hurling Anita Sarkeesian under the bus.

How to deal with cyberviolence

• Stop posting
• Buy a dog
• Kill yourself
• Buy a hat
• Censor the Internet

If these methods fail, you could always try these alternative methods:

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See also

• Cybersex, the opposite of cyberviolence
• Cyberbullying
• First World Problems

External links

• The UN says cyberviolence is equivalent to physical violence
• Cyberviolence in real time
• Censoring the web to save someone's feelings

Cyberviolence is part of a series on Social Justice Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article October 11th & 12th, 2015
Preceded by Brian Hall	Cyberviolence	Succeeded by TBD