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Cheetawolf: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 09:09, 13 January 2023
Eric "Cheetawolf" McGaugh is a prepubescent-minded individual whose existence and habits have tested the sanity of many. He has been active since at least 2008. He resides in some suburban dump in Michigan and is obsessed with his hobbies, which also includes making horrible videos that are bad enough to make one consider genocide against the entire human race.
How the bullshit began
Since last Thursday, no word was ever heard of him, leaving the happy citizens of Youtube in peace. In the summer of 2008, he discovered the grand cum canyon known as Youtube, and decided to make a video. Unlike normal videos of cartoon porn and foreign people being killed by police, he decided to make a cartoon on MSPaint of a siren and his favorite Pokemon. This caused massive rage and cancer among sirenfags and 12 year old boys in their own community, before they realized what had been unleashed. Cheetawolf became increasingly obsessed with the 'Federal Thunderbolt Siren', which is a piece of shit hung on a pole (see below). Eric McGaugh constantly had epic wet dreams about them blowing up 'Whelen' sirens. The luckiest achievement was when he took a video of his own shit and made a video of it flooding his house. Sadly, the video was removed due to ShitTube's Community Guidelines. This resulted in even more lulz when he made a new cancer account later that year. He still runs around on Youtube, making incredibly banal videos only childen of his tier watch.
Thunderbolt Siren Fetish
The Thunderbolt Siren, to "enthusiasts", is a warning siren intended to warn cities of disasters such as tornadoes, wars, and gas leaks. To normal people, it is a piece of shit hung on a pole that blasts loud noise while spinning around like a depraved hooker on beer night. Never did those who made them nor the cities who used them intended for them to be owned by individuals, especially teenage ones with several issues. How one develops a fetish for such a machine is yet to be figured out (maybe it's severe autism that has gone un-noticed in the early years)
Cheetyweef was upset when one of these pieces of shit hung on a pole was knocked down. When everyone else was enjoying the fresh air, he was slitting his wrists over the fallen siren and made "tributes" for it. Later on, someone has created a video of this piece of shit hung on a pole being removed for epic lulz. If you were to call this child any name, he immediately becomes butthurt. In ages past, someone made a video dedicated to bashing him and everything he enjoyed. Sadly, Cheetawolf got butthurt at this too, and it has since been removed.
What cheetawolf doesn't understand, however is that these pieces of lead paint covered shit on a pole just make sound, they don't grant unlimited monies, fame, or invincibility. The only thing they give him is giving him the permanent status of a virgin for the rest of his life. He is almost like Clayranger89, except 999% worse. There is more trolling potential however, as this is a true lolcow waiting to be milked for delicious lulz and win. "Trolling" him goes no further than claiming that the "Thunderbolt siren" is an outdated pile of garbage that should have been scrapped back in the 80s. He now owns his very own Thunderbolt siren, once again confirming his status as a basement dwelling virgin who will never be popular.
Cheetawolf Tries Comedy
Cheetawolf's obsession with computers is as tolerable as his existence. His first computer used good ol' Microsoft Windows 98. Despite Windows 98 being a flaming piece of shit, cheetawolf thought he could make some lame jokes about it. All of his jokes were completely unfunny, however he did not know when to stop. To this day, he still makes terrible videos that make one weep for humanity. He uses Windows Vista and fucking MOVIE MAKER. His first video "series" was Robot Turkey. This was merely an unfunny Youtube Poop ripoff which has as many redeeming features as Justin Bieber. He also has done "official" Youtube Poops which are similarly lacking in humor. He also makes awesome home videos of himself ripping apart computers to harvest their hard drives (precious meat stuff to him).
Recently, Cheetawolf has begun to purge his old masterpieces in recognition of how truly awful they were. This will do him no good as his great legacy has spread wide and far across the world. Despite making some of the worst videos ever, he has gained no less than 4000 subscribers who gladly eat his shit every week. This sad fact of life is proof that the human race is devolving, not evolving. More recently, he has started a series called "Let's Fail: The Quest For Zero Points", an absolute abomination of a series that shows Cheetawolf playing some sort of computer game in a challenge to avoid gaining any points during game-play. Despite being worse than any other series related to video games, it is fairly popular and has blessed Cheetawolf with even more fans. Despite Cheetawolf focusing more on these comedy videos than sirens in recent months, it is inevitable that he will randomly sperg about THUNDAHBOLTSAIRUNZ once in a good while. This includes mentioning them in videos that have absolutely nothing to do with tornado sirens.
Furfaggotry
Cheetawolf is also a known furfag. His idol is Inuyasha from that god awful cartoon Inuyasha (OH SO ORIGINAL!). Despite this, there is no known drawing of his fursona so one can only imagine how it actually looks.
He wears a broken white towel as he pretends to be his Fursona, only to fail miserably while the entire neighborhood laughs at his epic failures. Evidence of this can be found on his channel. If you were to call him a furfag, he would immediatly break out in tears and bitch at you. He will also make a video explaining why you are such a bad person. DISREGARD THAT, HE BAILED OUT ON THEIR COCKS.
Cheetawolf Today
Cheetawolf has taken to an air of reclusive obscurity following his lack of recent interest in sirens. Likewise, he has renounced his furry identity in an odd show of intellectualism. This is perhaps for the better as now Cheetawolf is just another dorky nerd instead of a dorky furry nerd who lords over Thunderbolt sirens. These days, the fart king just sits around in his parents' household, wreaking havoc on dollar-store equipment for teh epin lulz vidyas. There are definitely more toxic Youtubers out there.
Links
The retard's original youtube channel in it's full glory
Another sperg friend of Cheetawolf's who casually faps to sirens and ponies.
The official hub for all sirenfags.
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Cheetawolf is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Cheetawolf is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |