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Blizzard Entertainment: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 05:23, 3 October 2016
Blizzard Entertainment is a game company that used to make playable old school games up until 2004, when they created the ultimate cash cow. All hope was lost when they fused with Activision to form Activision Blizzard.
Now they are just cash grabbing jews and bastards trolling their consumers just because....
Over the years, former Blizzard employees got sick of their shitty company and moved on to establish better companies on their own:
- Flagship Studios - Creators of Hellgate: London, also worked on Mythos. Their game was a complete failure and they had to close down. Founded by Bill Roper, who lost his face in the gaming industry almost as hard as John Romero.
- ArenaNet - Creators of the Guild Wars franchise. Released an awful sequel and became Jews themselves.
- Castaway Entertainment - Ended in a state of financial crisis, ceased working on a game similar to the Diablo series, "Djinn". They never delivered anything, a complete fucking failure. They closed down in 2008.
- Turpitude Design - This company is so unimportant that it doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry. Nobody knows what the fuck they are doing or who they're developing games for. Probably dead. Founded by Stieg Hedlund. Their Facebook page has a whopping 5 likes.
- Hyboreal Games - Renamed to U.I Pacific - They tried to create a Diablo clone called "Starfall" and nothing has ever come out since 2005. Presumed dead. Founded by Michio Okamura.
- Runic Games - Creators of the Torchlight games. All they've reached so far were two mildly successful Indie Diablo clones and a small cult following. Without Steam they would have been long dead. Founded by Travis Baldree, Erich Schaefer, and Max Schaefer.
Summary: Of the 6 studios that emerged, only 2 made any success, with one being hated and the other just being an underdog.
Butthurt Blizzard
Shortly after Valve Corporation filed its trademark for "DotA" to secure the franchising rights for DotA 2 and, DotA-Allstars, LLC, run by former contributors to the games's predecessor, Defense of the Ancients, filed an opposing trademark in August 2010. DotA All-Stars, LLC was sold to Blizzard Entertainment in 2011. After the opposition was overruled in Valve's favor, Blizzard filed an opposition against Valve in November 2011, citing their license agreement with developers, as well as their ownership of DotA-Allstars, LLC. Blizzard conceded their case in May 2012, however, giving Valve undisputed commercial rights to DotA, while Blizzard would rename their StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm mod "Blizzard All-Stars" to Heroes of the Storm.
Games
- Lost Vikings - Nobody knows this game anymore.
- Blackthorne - Nobody knows this game anymore.
- Rock & Roll Racing - Nobody knows this game anymore.
- Diablo and Diablo II - When grinding for items and throwing your life away was still cool.
- Diablo - Hellfire - Produced by Sierra. A rushed piece of shit addon that Blizzard attempts to hide from the public. Blizzard steals content from this shit expansion at the same rate people uninstalled Diablo 3. For evidence you don't have to look further than Diablo 3's monk. How to make Diablo - Hellfire playable.
- Diablo III - Blizzards' failed cash cow. Only played by talentless stoners.
- StarCraft - Blizzards old Korean cash cow. Considered dead now.
- StarCraft 2 - Blizzard's failed attempt at both eSports and creating an accessible game. Not even Koreans really like it.
- WarCraft I, II and III - These games are dead. The third one spawned the death of RTS games, by letting stupid modders create the A.S.S.F.A.G.G.O.T.S. genre.
- World of Warcraft - Blizzards' only real cash cow. A game that ruined more lives than any terrorist attack, EVER.
- Hearthstone - WarCraft spin-off cardgame for casual faggots. Purely made to milk the fuck out of your money reserves.
- Heroes Of The Storm - Started as a official A.S.S.F.A.G.G.O.T.S. minimod in StarCraft 2, called "Blizzard All-Stars". But then the jew management noticed that you could earn a shitload of money like League of Legends does, and transformed it into a full game. This crashed & burned, hard.
- Overwatch - Team Fortress 2 + Titanfall/Call of Duty:Black Ops 3 + Decent slut characters for fap material = This
Unreleased games
- Lord of the Clans - Adventure game where you would play the young, soon-to-be Warchief Thrall. It was animated by the russian studios that created the Philips CD-I Zelda games. Too bad we never got to see that horror happen. Instead of this game we got a fucking awful book, written by some untalented bitch that couldn't think of a good story for shit. It included Thrall wanting to spill his semen all over some blonde human bimbo maiden with huge tits, before the bad guy chopped off her head.
- StarCraft: Ghost - And nothing of value was lost.
- Titan - Originally going to be World of Warcraft 2: Electric Boogaloo with a scifi theme, but halfway through development they decided to can the project and make it Overwatch.
See also
- Real ID - Spying on your users is great.
- Battle.net Forums - Where Blizzdrones hide from the rest of the internet.
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