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Todd Rogers: Difference between revisions
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[[File:ChadTodd.jpg|thumb|Virgin vs. Todd]] | [[File:ChadTodd.jpg|thumb|Virgin vs. Todd]] | ||
'''Todd Rogers''' (a.k.a. '''Mr. Activision''', '''The King of Video Games''', '''Toddzilla''' | '''Todd Rogers''' (a.k.a. '''Mr. Activision''', '''The King of Video Games''', '''Toddzilla''', '''Fraud Rogers''' and '''Rodd Todgers''') is a {{Age|1964|12|1}}-year-old [[gamer]] and professional [[Ron Jeremy]] impersonator from [[Chicago]], [[Illinois]], who currently holds the world record for the most time spent playing [[Video games|vidya games]] on a jizz-stained couch in your parents' [[basement]] without getting a [[high score]] at anything ever. Back in the [[1980s]], after [[Kill yourself|tragically not dying]] in a [[Exploding Van|Ford Pinto]] explosion, Todd became gaming's first professional [[attention whore]] when he decided to [[lie]] about setting world records in [[at least 100]] games on the [[Atari 2600]] so he could appear on [[television]] and go on to become the world's very first [[Jew|paid]] "[[N00b|professional gamer]]". | ||
Todd's plan was simple, he would make up [[impossible]] world records for Atari games and then get his friend '''Ronald T. Corcoran''', a referee for [[Fake News|discredited]] [[high score]] database '''Twin Galaxies''', to help him vouch for the validity of these [[Christianity|completely made up]] world records whenever he wasn't busy [[raping]] his own [[Loli|prepubescent daughter]]. After getting away with this scheme for [[literally]] decades, the advent of the [[internets]] and [[William Atchison|pizza-faced]] [[nerds]] with way too much time on their hands proved to be Todd's downfall as many of his records were [[Prove me wrong|proven to be 100% impossible to obtain through legitimate gameplay]]. | Todd's plan was simple, he would make up [[impossible]] world records for Atari games and then get his friend '''Ronald T. Corcoran''', a referee for [[Fake News|discredited]] [[high score]] database '''Twin Galaxies''', to help him vouch for the validity of these [[Christianity|completely made up]] world records whenever he wasn't busy [[raping]] his own [[Loli|prepubescent daughter]]. After getting away with this scheme for [[literally]] decades, the advent of the [[internets]] and [[William Atchison|pizza-faced]] [[nerds]] with way too much time on their hands proved to be Todd's downfall as many of his records were [[Prove me wrong|proven to be 100% impossible to obtain through legitimate gameplay]]. | ||
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[[File:TGProveMeWrong.jpg|thumb|Twin Galaxies' typical response to anyone who disputes Todd's made up high scores.]] | [[File:TGProveMeWrong.jpg|thumb|Twin Galaxies' typical response to anyone who disputes Todd's made up high scores.]] | ||
On January 23, [[2018]], yet another motherfucking YooToober named '''Apollo Legend''' uploaded a video entitled {{ytlink|8e-H4sEHB54|The Biggest Cheater in Gaming History? (1700+ Scores w/ no Evidence)}}. Unlike the three previous YouTube faggots, however, Apollo immediately cut the the chase by calling out Todd Rogers for [[Fact|being a lying sack of shit who had conspired with his child-raping friend to make up fake world records]]. | On January 23, [[2018]], yet another motherfucking YooToober named '''Apollo Legend''' uploaded a (now private) video entitled {{ytlink|8e-H4sEHB54|The Biggest Cheater in Gaming History? (1700+ Scores w/ no Evidence)}}. Unlike the three previous YouTube faggots, however, Apollo immediately cut the the chase by calling out Todd Rogers for [[Fact|being a lying sack of shit who had conspired with his child-raping friend to make up fake world records]]. | ||
Unlike the plethora of idiots who had [[Trying too hard|gone so far as to reverse-engineer entire games to prove Todd's cheating]], Apollo realized that basic 3rd grade division skills were all that were required in order to prove that many of Todd's purported high scores were, in fact, mathematically impossible to obtain without [[God Mode|cheating]]. In an example that even [[Retarded|you]] can understand, there were actually instances of [[Owned|Todd claiming scores such as 999,999,990 in games where the score only increases in increments of 50]]. | Unlike the plethora of idiots who had [[Trying too hard|gone so far as to reverse-engineer entire games to prove Todd's cheating]], Apollo realized that basic 3rd grade division skills were all that were required in order to prove that many of Todd's purported high scores were, in fact, mathematically impossible to obtain without [[God Mode|cheating]]. In an example that even [[Retarded|you]] can understand, there were actually instances of [[Owned|Todd claiming scores such as 999,999,990 in games where the score only increases in increments of 50]]. | ||
Latest revision as of 17:33, 17 January 2024
Todd Rogers (a.k.a. Mr. Activision, The King of Video Games, Toddzilla, Fraud Rogers and Rodd Todgers) is a 60-year-old gamer and professional Ron Jeremy impersonator from Chicago, Illinois, who currently holds the world record for the most time spent playing vidya games on a jizz-stained couch in your parents' basement without getting a high score at anything ever. Back in the 1980s, after tragically not dying in a Ford Pinto explosion, Todd became gaming's first professional attention whore when he decided to lie about setting world records in at least 100 games on the Atari 2600 so he could appear on television and go on to become the world's very first paid "professional gamer".
Todd's plan was simple, he would make up impossible world records for Atari games and then get his friend Ronald T. Corcoran, a referee for discredited high score database Twin Galaxies, to help him vouch for the validity of these completely made up world records whenever he wasn't busy raping his own prepubescent daughter. After getting away with this scheme for literally decades, the advent of the internets and pizza-faced nerds with way too much time on their hands proved to be Todd's downfall as many of his records were proven to be 100% impossible to obtain through legitimate gameplay.
It took until January 29th, 2018 for the money loving pedos employed at Twin Galaxies to finally get around to wiping Todd's records despite them having already been discredited well over 9000 times – but what else would you expect from an organization that officially considers getting a 30 year prison sentence for repeatedly raping your 10-year-old daughter to be leaving for "family reasons"?
Todd has yet to publicly comment on the decision, though we are sure that he is taking the news very well. Meanwhile, Ron Corcoran is enjoying 30 years of tax-payer sponsored comfort and constantly getting raped in the arse by far bigger, badder and blacker inmates as punishment for being a sick fucking incestuous paedophile.
Trust me, I'm a gamer!
Back in the early 1980s, video games were brand new and Space Invaders was the killer app for the newly-released Atari 2600, a next-gen console that was so powerful that it could actually play games in colour as long as your TV wasn't one of those outdated black and white models from the previous year.
During this time, a young man named Todd Rogers was feeling bored and, seeing as school shootings wouldn't be invented for another 15 years, decided to go play games on his Atari. Being a time when high scores actually meant something and instruction manuals often had score sheets to fill out when you felt like jacking off your ego, young Todd whether he could become popular if he obtained a high score of his own.
Unfortunately, young Todd soon realized that getting a high score requires actual talent and that he would certainly never be able to achieve his dream of being the world's greatest basement dweller. While Todd really should have just hung himself in his closet after that realization, he still had one idea that could help him become famous – he would invent the art of Photoshopping and mail polaroid photos of fake high scores to Activision.
—Todd, sucking his own cock |
—David Crane, underestimating the power of weaponized autism | ||
Ron the Molester
Ronald T. Corcoran (a.k.a. Mr. Atari) was an early employee of Twin Galaxies and a close friend of Todd Rogers who, despite a blatant conflict of interest, acted as the "referee" who validated many of Todd's dubious world record claims.
In 2004, Todd was convicted and sentenced to 30 years in prison for repeatedly raping his own underage daughter, resulting in an extended leave of absence that Twin Galaxies 
has officially stated is due to "family reasons" – because to Twin Galaxies, child rape isn't actually a big deal as long as you have the common decency to keep it in the family.
Dragster Queen
On June 16, 2017, YouTuber and stereotypical 1970s stoner dude EZScape uploaded a video entitled 
"Why Can't This World Record Be Beaten? "The Impossible Speedrun" where he brought attention to Todd Rogers' most famous "world record" and the supposed longest standing record in video game history, an alleged time of 5.51 in the Atari 2600 game Dragster that Todd claims to have obtained on September 1, 1982.
While EZScape didn't directly accuse Todd of being a lying son of a bitch, he did draw attention to the fact that the lifeless losers known as Tool-Assisted Speedrunners and even Activision themselves have, after over 30 years of trying, still never found a way to replicate a time of 5.51 even after reverse-engineering all 2 kB of the game's code to create a frame-perfect run of the game.
In August, 2017, another faggy JewTuber named Omnigamer (Powerword: Eric A. Koziel) did a bunch of crazy math shit and once again proved that the fastest possible time in Dragster is 5.57. Following this renewed interest, yet another fucking YouTube cunt named Ben Heck decided to REVERSE-ENGINEER FUCKING EVERYTHING and once again proved that the fastest possible time is 5.57 all while Todd Rogers was sitting next to him and trying desperately to feign innocence.
—Todd's asinine response to being constantly proven wrong | ||
PROVE ME WRONG!
On January 23, 2018, yet another motherfucking YooToober named Apollo Legend uploaded a (now private) video entitled The Biggest Cheater in Gaming History? (1700+ Scores w/ no Evidence). Unlike the three previous YouTube faggots, however, Apollo immediately cut the the chase by calling out Todd Rogers for being a lying sack of shit who had conspired with his child-raping friend to make up fake world records.
Unlike the plethora of idiots who had gone so far as to reverse-engineer entire games to prove Todd's cheating, Apollo realized that basic 3rd grade division skills were all that were required in order to prove that many of Todd's purported high scores were, in fact, mathematically impossible to obtain without cheating. In an example that even you can understand, there were actually instances of Todd claiming scores such as 999,999,990 in games where the score only increases in increments of 50.
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Twin Galaxies Dispute
—Twin Galaxies, needing another month to make a damage control plan |
Gallery
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What a shaved pussy looks like.
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Todd's daddy must have been so proud. -
Todd's resume. -
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Some nigger. -
Pat Sajak
See Also
- DarksydePhil - A gamer with more talent than Todd.
- Ron Jeremy
- Carl
- Photoshop
- Gamer
- Fraud
- Liar
External Links
Todd Rogers
Todd Rogers on Twatter
Todd Rogers on Facefuck- Todd Rogers on AtariAge
- [email protected]
- [email protected]
- [email protected]
Ronnie the Kiddie Diddler
- RCorcoran on AtariAge
- Archive of Ron's website before getting v&
- Ron Corcoran's rapsheet
- At Twin Galaxies, getting 30 years for raping your daughter is considered leaving for "family reasons".
- Ron gets called out as a sick fucking paedophile.
- [email protected] - You might actually get a response from him in 2035 if he doesn't get shanked.
- [email protected] - Ditto.
 Todd Rogers is part of a series on Web 1.0 |
[ANCIENT HISTORY] Old Memes •
Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks •
Technologies •
Fun and Games •
Events •
Death of Web1.0
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Todd Rogers is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Todd Rogers is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article January 29 & 30, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by Grumpy Cat |
Todd Rogers | Succeeded by Ugandan Knuckles |