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Fiji: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 02:52, 22 August 2013
Fiji is a small island nation in the South Pacific that can't stop fucking itself over. It is expected that Fiji will soon blow itself up and sink to the ocean floor next Thursday.
This retarded shithole has a coup every few years where the government is overthrown. Most of the time this happens because the unruly inhabitants of the place want to keep it. Rupert Murdoch and Australia don't like that. It is not known exactly what the fuck is wrong with these retards for not getting the point. They also have delicious coconuts!
Coup I
An army Fijian attempted to take over the country after realizing there were too many Indians there. Rupert Murdoch and Australia hated his guts so he proceeded to fail epically and ended up in jail.
Coup II: Electric Bananarama
In 2006 the Fijian military took over Fiji again, this time led by a navy Fijian who named himself after an '80s pop band (Frank Bananarama). Rupert Murdoch and his Australian government were behind it this time, so nobody outside cared and the ex-Prime Mincer had to step down or be killed. This still led to them being kicked out of the Commonwealth for making complete asses of themselves. Nobody will ever trust Fiji. Fiji itself would probably be a better country if there wasn't so many smelly fucking Indians all over the place, they should go back to their fucking homeland.
A guy called Keith Scott decided to get in on the action and went over to Fiji and did a Nigerian scam on the whole Fijian population by telling them he would give them $6 billion to run their country. The Fijians have been scammed in the past when a white bloke promised to send a boatload of cash to them - the Fijians were so stupid that they're still sitting at the wharf waiting for the boat.
The second coup is a result of the Indians fucking the Fijians over as usual but this time managed to get a Fijian to crap up the Fijians. It's been widely speculated that Frank Bananarama was captured one night by a band of curry munching Indians who transplanted his brain with an Indian one.
Another Indian who is blamed for all of Fiji's fuckups is Mahendra NTSC/Pal Chaudry. Chaudry or Chodo as he's affectionately called by the Fijians is supposedly using witchcraft to get Frank Bananarama to do his bidding.
