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| | | #REDIRECT [["Missing White Woman Syndrome"]] |
| [[Image:Smart_ns1.jpg|thumb|Smart people don't get themselves kidnapped, stupid whore. [[true|And 2009 Utah Citizen of the Year]]]] | |
| [[Image:Jennifer_wilbanks.jpg|thumb|Actually proven to be a Deer]]
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| [[Image:Breaking news - white girl missing.jpg|thumb]]
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| ''''''Missing White Woman' Syndrome''''' is a horrible affliction suffered by [[old media]]. Whenever a stupid [[White people|white woman]] [[gb2kitchen|goes missing]] the [[media]] makes sure everybody knows about it and make it the [[lulz|story]] of the week. Unfortunately, most missing white women are found alive and in good health.
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| However, if anyone [[ugly|unattractive]], male, or of black person goes missing the [[media]] doesn't care at all. It is nearly impossible to get any [[television]] coverage for any of these people no matter what social class they come from. [[Some argue]] this is because [[women]] and [[white people]] are just plain better than everyone else, a [[fact]] which has yet to be disproven. Others believe that nobody notices missing black person [[Whore|ho's]] and [[Mexico|wetbacks]] simply because their absence has no negative consequences, due to the [[Truth|fact]] that they didn't contribute to society in the first place.
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| Still others argue that the term was made up by [[Wikipedia]], as a result of them having [[wikipedia:Missing white woman syndrome|a long-standing article on it]]. However, it should be noted that this article has [[Over 9000|3]][[Rule 34|4]] [[Citation needed|external citations]].
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| Using the expression "Missing White Woman Syndrome" is a good way to instantly establish oneself as [[unwarranted self importance|media savvy]]. If someone points out that the "woman" in question was actually a one year baby, cut them down by pointing out, with a knowing look, that if the baby were black everyone would just assume she was a [[crack]] [[whore]] who had been [[asking for it]].
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| ==Causes==
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| * Anything going less than perfect in the war that might warrant a distraction so that people don't figure out how fucked it is
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| * The collective societal fetish (especially among Americunts) for weak white bitches in peril
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| * Anything more important happening in the world at all
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| ==Symptoms==
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| Including, but not limited to:
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| * [[Tabloids]] have full-front page picture with [[ALLCAPS]] words "MISSING"
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| * Interviews with stupid relatives
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| * "[[Expert]]s" guessing where she be at
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| * Overdramatization of the whole event
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| * Ignoring [[VT|much cooler news stories]]
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| ==Quotes==
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| [[Image:Whitewomen.jpg|center]]
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| {{quote|Where all the white women at ..?|<s>Blazing Saddles</s> Every black person [[evar]].}}
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| ==Reactions==
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| In a fit of [[zOMG]] people will often try to burn you at the stake if you haven't:
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| * Donated money to finding the missing woman
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| * Posted a picture of the missing woman in [[MySpace]] (because [[MySpace]] people leave their bedroom so much they might see the missing woman on the street!)
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| * Added your name to a chain-mail no one will ever read
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| ==Examples==
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| Include, but are not limited to:
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| *[[Shannon Matthews]]
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| * [[Madeleine McCann]]
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| *The [[Runaway Bride]] (aka the [[Hypnotoad]])
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| *[http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=elizabeth_smart Elizabeth Smart]
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| *[[Natalee Holloway]]
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| *[[Rachel Bruno]]
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| *Sandra Cantu
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| *[http://www.jessica-lynch.com/ Jessica Lynch]
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| ==See Also==
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| *[[Almost raped]]
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| [[Category:Abnormal Psych]]
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| [[Category:Cliques]]
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