Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

FreeSaiyan: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>Unknown
No edit summary
imported>Vigilant's Vagoo
 
(40 intermediate revisions by 23 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{Featured article}}  
{{TL;DR}}
{{quote|What now? Saiyans transform into apes... This is completely different from anything that I've ever seen before. Darn, what does this mean?|[[Frieza]] ("[[Explosion of Anger]]")}}
'''FreeSaiyan,''' aka Michael Towers, is the kiddie-fiddling self-invented spamlord of the UK anime scene. A legend amongst scammers, perverts, megalomaniacs and drama queens, he has stalked like a titan from project to crumbling project, flanked by his chittering hangers-on, leaving his taint on everything he has ever touched like a creeping weed that smells of week-old dried-out wanksocks that would, in all likelihood, make even a washing machine fall pregnant if ever they ventured inside its unsuspecting drum.
{{Infobox Technique
|name=Super Saiyan
|image=[[File:GokuSuperSaiyanVsCooler.png|250px]]     
|debut=Manga: Volume 11, Chapter 123 "Life or Death"<br>Anime: "[[Transformed at Last]]"
|alias='''''Sūpā Saiya-jin''<br>SS<br>SSJ<br>SS1<br>SSJ1<br>Super Saiyan Level 1<br>Original Super Saiyan'''
|user=[[Original Super Saiyan|The Original Super Saiyan]]<br>[[Goku]]/[[Future Goku]]<br>[[Vegeta]]/[[Future Vegeta]]<br>[[Gohan]]/[[Future Gohan]]<br>[[Trunks]]/[[Future Trunks]]<br>[[Goten]]<br>[[Gotenks]]<br>[[Broly]]<br>[[Vegito]]<br>[[Gogeta]]<br>[[Goku Jr.]]<br>[[Vegeta Jr.]]''
|class=[[Transformation]]
|color={{color|f0ff43}}
}}
{{nihongo|'''Super Saiyan'''|超サイヤ人|Sūpā Saiya-jin}} is an advanced transformation assumed by extraordinarily powerful members of the [[Saiyan]] race in the [[Dragon Ball (franchise)|''Dragon Ball'' franchise]], as well as [[Akira Toriyama]]'s ''Dragon Ball'' parody manga, ''[[Neko Majin]]''. Three further transformations succeed Super Saiyan (two in [[Dragon Ball (manga)|manga]] [[canonicity]]), and the premier Super Saiyan form has three additional branch states. There are also two totally different types of Super Saiyan that appear in the films (the [[False Super Saiyan]] and [[Legendary Super Saiyan]]).  


==Legend==
He is the webmaster of AnimeLeague, chairman of fAiLCon and mastermind of a million zany get-rich-and-famous-quick schemes that made his name like a rash all over the internet and IRL. His level-based pyramid schemes and horde of pre-pubescent girls carrying out harassment campaigns for him have ensured him the title of "The L. Ron Hubbard of Anime."
The ability to become a Super Saiyan was once considered to be nothing but a legend, because it had not been performed for over one-thousand years (three-thousand in the Ocean dub). [[Vegeta]] first stated that a Super Saiyan has achieved a level of power so overwhelming that it could only be maintained in a transformed state. However, when this legend was proven to be true when [[Goku]] accomplished the feat during his [[Battle on Planet Namek|titanic battle]] against the evil tyrant [[Frieza]], he maintained this state in his original form. Despite only being told through legend, Frieza, considered to be the strongest being of his time, became paranoid over the possibility of truth behind the legend of the Super Saiyan, as evidenced by the constantly growing power of the Saiyan race. Because of this fear, Frieza drew the conclusion to [[Genocide of the Saiyans|annihilate]] the Saiyan race by destroying [[Planet Vegeta]] (although eight Saiyans were established in the manga and anime to have survived the genocide: Goku, Vegeta, [[Broly]], [[Paragus]], [[Nappa]], [[Raditz]], [[Tarble]] and [[Turles]], four of which are non-manga and  appear in the anime specials or movies only), thus sparking the end of the Super Saiyan legend.


[[File:GokuSuperSaiyanI02.png|thumb|left|160px|Goku is the first to achieve the Super Saiyan form after witnessing Krillin's murder at the hands of Frieza on planet Namek]]
[[Image:FreeSaiyan.jpg|thumb|right|Hiya girls and boys. Hyuck hyuck. Under 15's only. OM NOM NOM!]][[Image:ComradeMike.jpg|thumb|left|"I cut myself shaving! Rawr, I'm tuff! D:" - his own tag, no shizz. Fisher Price razor just out of shot.]]
According to Goku (in the FUNimation dub), the Super Saiyan transformation comes in response to a need, not a desire.<ref>''[[Dragon Ball Z]]''. [[Perfect Cell Saga]], #156/141 ("[[Bow to the Prince]]")</ref> In all known cases, the form has been initially triggered by either desperation or indignation. Any other conditions are unknown, and motivation tends to differ; for example, Goku achieves the form out of anger over the murder of his best-friend, [[Krillin]], and Vegeta achieves the form through sheer frustration at his original inability to achieve it, especially over Goku. While training in the [[Hyperbolic Time Chamber]], Goku tells Gohan that becoming a Super Saiyan is powered by rage and told him to imagine Cell, and then Frieza when Gohan said he had never seen Cell, killing all his friends to transform into a Super Sayian. Saiyan hybrids are naturally skilled at this, as they have the emotion of [[Human]]s (full blooded Saiyans tend to suppress their feelings) with the fighting potential of Saiyans. As the Saiyans train during ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]'', they discover uncharted levels beyond the first Super Saiyan level. The appearance of a Super Saiyan is different in each form, more so in the [[Super Saiyan 4|fourth and final form]] to the point where the original transformation has since been literally reduced to that of a "child's play thing" (says Vegeta after witnessing [[Trunks]] transform and harness the power adeptly at such a young age).
[[Image:Alshirt.jpg|thumb|right|Look out kiddies, Pedobear needs your tears for his throne of evil!]]
[[Image:Chitty_chitty_bang_xl_01.jpg|thumb|right|One of Mike's favourite all-time Cosplays and paedo mentor. HERE WE ARE CHILDREN, COME INTO MICHAEL'S KIDDIE LAIR CUM GINGERBREAD HOUSE!!]]


In the main series, all living Saiyan-blooded males following the [[Frieza Saga]] manage to reach at least the first level of Super Saiyan. No female Super Saiyans are ever seen, however the ''[[Dragon Ball GT Perfect Files]]'' implies that [[Pan]] has the potential to transform and might have become a type of Super Saiyan never seen before.
=The Man Himself=


==Overview==
Freesaiyan is well known among his [[hugbox|online community]] as a paedophile, a power mad [[nazi]], a lazy useless asshole and general all round twunt.
[[File:Better_levels.jpg|thumb|400px|The Saiyan transformation tree]]
The first Super Saiyan transformation occurs when a Saiyan who has reached a very high level of power, has a calm, pure heart (good or evil), and loses himself in a fit of rage. However, the transformation must be triggered in response to a great need, example being in Goku's case to defeat Frieza. While physical change is not too drastic, the power output increase is colossal; the form is said to originally multiply the Saiyan's power by fifty times its normal amount, though it can be inferred that the multiplier decreased somewhat as new Super Saiyan levels were introduced. This was made evident by [[Kibito|Kibito's]] inability to even hold the [[Z Sword]] (which [[Gohan]] in his base form could, and Goku without practice) whilst being far superior to Frieza, normal-form Goku being nearly even with [[Yakon]], an opponent whose power was more than a fourth of Goku's [[Full-Power Super Saiyan]] level, amongst other things such as base Future Trunks knocking [[Imperfect Cell]] out of [[West City]] with a simple ''[[kiai]]''. Despite this possible decrease in power augmentation brought on by this form, it is still shown to make the user several times stronger (and much more so in sub-forms such as [[Ascended Super Saiyan]], [[Ultra Super Saiyan]], and [[Full-Power Super Saiyan]]).


The transformation has a noticeable effect on the Saiyan's personality. Any Saiyan that has turned to the side of good initially becomes ruthless and overcome with rage, and any Saiyan that was already ruthless to begin with has his ruthlessness amplified. This is first demonstrated when Goku turned Super Saiyan, when he went from a calm, collected fighter to becoming a vengeful warrior, hell bent on avenging his fallen friend, [[Krillin]], even at his own peril. Later on, when [[Vegeta]] became a Super Saiyan, he became even more rash and belligerent, and became obsessed with defeating the Androids by himself, a drastic change from his smart, covert style he demonstrated in the [[Vegeta Saga|Vegeta]] and [[Namek Saga]]s. Gohan also became a Super Saiyan, in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, but managed to regain control of his emotions prior to leaving the Chamber. However, the amplified anger that a Super Saiyan experiences was still on display when he became a [[Super Saiyan 2]]. The personality alterations are also on display in ''[[Dragon Ball GT: A Hero's Legacy]]'' when [[Goku Jr.]], a timid boy with no will to fight even in self-defense, saw [[Lord Yao]] terrorize the forest and became a Super Saiyan. His personality came full circle, accordingly.
He spends his life struggling to cope with the organisation of his forums and small scale meets. This is made difficult by delusions of grandeur on the one hand and paranoia on the other which, when combined, cause him to imagine that anyone gives enough of a fuck about his tiny empire to be trying to sabotage him at every turn.


[[File:TrunksFutureSuperSaiyanEp124.png|thumb|left|Future Trunks as a Super Saiyan in Vegeta's nightmare]]
FreeSaiyan's hobby is spouting off about the brilliance and success of his convention (ALcon), his club (AnimeLeague) and his work (several terrified naked children locked in a basement). To avoid hurting his feelings, be careful not to point out that he hasn't got a job and lives with his mummy (he's 27). HA HA! Only joking - Mike's feelings are robust to the point of rudely snubbing anyone who tries to try and help him out, pointing out the '''13 THOUSAND members''' of his forum.  
The most noticeable change is that the Saiyan's hair becomes golden in color and seems to stand on end, giving it a rising, flame-like appearance. This applies to all of the Saiyan's hair, including scalp hair, eyebrows, and (as it was revealed in GT) the fur on their [[tail]]s and as [[Golden Great Ape]]s. Natural eye color temporarily changes to a greenish-blue, muscle tone becomes more defined, and the skin tone (and clothing) becomes lighter mainly due to the energy and light output of the golden aura. As the natural floodgates of the body are opened with the transformation, excess energy is radiated from the body in the form of a pulsing, flame-like aura. There is also a marked personality alteration, where the Saiyan becomes unusually aggressive and more prone to acting on impulse. The first character to achieve the Super Saiyan transformation in the series, is Goku, in the midst of engaging Frieza.


The Super Saiyan transformation also has an interesting, unique effect on Goku's family. In addition to its normal effects: the way their eyes are drawn changes slightly. Normally, the outline around the eye is not fully drawn (it circles around about 3/4 of the way the eyeball). When in Super Saiyan, their eyes are fully surrounded by an outline (the same way that all villains are drawn; this is mainly due to [[Akira Toriyama]] wanting to show the anger and hatred that must be present for a Super Saiyan transformation),<ref>[http://www.daizex.com/guides/transformations/saiyan/#ssj1 SS1 transformation at daizex.com]</ref> though when Goku and Gohan were training during the Cell saga their eyes were in the form of the half circle shape but it is still outlined even though they were shown to be calm.
There are 139 in the UK. (Or ''were'', at it's peak.)


It was theorized in the film ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Super Android 13!]]'' that these Super Saiyan transformations prevented Goku from performing his [[Spirit Bomb]] technique. One must be pure of heart to perform the technique, and as a Super Saiyan, Goku's heart is full of rage, although not necessarily contaminated by evil. In the film, when Goku becomes a Super Saiyan after gathering power for his [[Spirit Bomb]], he loses control of the energy and instead absorbs it into his own body. During the [[Kid Buu Saga]], Goku assumes the transformation only after successfully creating and throwing the Spirit Bomb, although since this took place after he mastered the Super Saiyan form during the [[Cell Games Saga]], it could just be that anger no longer filled his heart when he transformed.
Helping out with the forums are similarly upstanding folk like yankee Matt Nada, who can usually be found up his own arse writing [[Crap|convincing arguments]] about [[Naruto|anime no one cares about]].  


===Usage and power===
His modus operandi is to careen around the forum, swinging his Scythe of Deletion +3 at any post he doesn't like and a Piku Piku Banhammer at those who disagree with him even slightly.  
[[File:GokuVsFriezaEp102.png|thumb|180px|Super Saiyan Goku battles Frieza in his 100% form]]
The Super Saiyan form was first achieved by Goku after witnessing his best friend Krillin's death at the hands of Frieza. In this form, Goku's power grossly outclasses the evil tyrant's, a feat made more impressive by the fact that, prior to the transformation, Goku was no match for him, even with the [[Kaio-ken]] multiplying his power 20-fold. In order to combat Goku's sudden burst of strength and power, Frieza released all natural bodily inhibitions and utilized [[Frieza#100% Power|100% of his power]], only half of which he used to stop Goku's [[Kaio-ken Kamehameha|Kaio-ken x20 Kamehameha]] attack. Though he seemed to gain the upper hand while Goku holds back, he loses faith when he realizes that his attacks are no longer debilitating, with Goku merely shrugging off his most forceful blows. This was evidently because in his 100% final state, Frieza had gained power and speed, but also gained increased energy consumption to the point where his damaged body could no longer handle the amount of power he was controlling.


Two years following the titanic battle on Namek, [[Future Trunks]] would later arrive from [[Alternate timeline|the future]] along with the ability to transform, much to the astonishment of [[Vegeta]] and other present company, and dispose of the [[Frieza#Mecha-Frieza|synthetically restored Frieza]], and his father, [[King Cold]] with great ease (even taking Cold's full-force sword swipe to the palm without injury).
He also bolsters the numbers on the forum by running his 'blog' as a thread in the forum. This forces his <s>Goth</s> [[Loli]] groupies have to go into the forum to be able to mess their kecks over his [[Stupidity|wisdom]].


[[File:VegetaSSVsAndroid18NV01.png|thumb|left|200px|Vegeta in his Super Saiyan form, preparing to battle against Android 18]]
==Y Hello Thar, Little Girl==
Some time later, Vegeta also achieves the Super Saiyan transformation, mainly due to his belief that he had pushed himself to his utmost limits without actually transforming. By his own admission, it was anger at himself that triggered the intense emotion required to transform. He also noted, that he too possessed a pure heart, only one of pure evil as opposed to Goku's good, although Vegeta was not actually fully evil at the time. With this new power under his belt, Vegeta confronts and overcomes [[Android 19]] and [[Dr. Gero]], blithely killing #19 with the powerful [[Big Bang Attack]]. However, when the true [[Android]]s of Future Trunks' grim prediction, [[Android 17]] and [[Android 18|18]], arrive, they easily defeat both Vegeta and Future Trunks' Super Saiyan forms, Trunks in particular being felled in a single blow from #17, as opposed to the trained Vegeta, who withstood a much longer and abashing beating, signifying his superior strength. This power is noted by [[Kami]] as he brings up the topic of how Vegeta is now more powerful than Trunks, who "killed Frieza and his father in an instant."
[[Image:NotHaruhiAndNotKyon.png|thumb|306px|right|FailCon Mascots ALice and ALex, aka AL-chan and AL-kun. AKA Not Haruhi and Not Kyon.]][[Image:RealThing.jpg|thumb|306px|right|Nagaru Tanigawa travelled through time to rip off Mike's Original Idea™.]]


The limits of the Super Saiyan transformation were pushed even further with the introduction of [[Cell]]. With the basic Super Saiyan form now unable to combat the power of the Androids, Goku advises training in the [[Hyperbolic Time Chamber]], because he believes that there is a way to ascend past the normal limitations of an untrained Super Saiyan, and in doing so would make them strong enough to take down the Androids. By the time Cell had reached his Perfect Form after absorbing both the Androids, Vegeta, Future Trunks, Goku, and Gohan had all spent time in the [[Hyperbolic Time Chamber]], advancing to new Super Saiyan forms. The Super Saiyan's standard output of power would be outclassed by the Ascended and Ultra Super Saiyan stages. Unlike Vegeta and Future Trunks who make use of these stages (which either consumes one's energy rapidly and produce an increasingly higher level of strain, or reduce the Saiyan's speed to nil, with the latter doing ''both''), Goku and Gohan work to perfect the initial transformation after deciding that it was the best form to use overall, prompting their transition into Full-Power Super Saiyan, the concept of making the Super Saiyan form no different in energy output and strain than the basic form of the user's body. The initial transformation and its advanced grades are later rendered obsolete by the introduction of a far more powerful level, [[Super Saiyan 2]] (which is the form used by Gohan to defeat Cell), followed by Goku's introduction of [[Super Saiyan 3]] during the [[Majin Buu Saga]], and finally, [[Super Saiyan 4]], introduced during ''[[Dragon Ball GT]]''.
As [[12chan|everyone]] knows, there's nothing strange about a 28 year old who holding "Meetups" for females under 16 and on some occasion boys (See Picture Below). Don't forget your ID, he needs to clarify that you are officially a child. Yup. It all has to be above board.


[[File:3827611_std.jpg|thumb|200px|Goten and Trunks as Super Saiyans]]
In one of his other worrying ventures, a School of Manga, he seriously asked for personal details of mid-teens without so much as a nod in the direction of any possible legal ramifications. He even uses the word "Laws" in quotemarks, as if flaunting his undisguised contempt for them.
[[Goten]] and [[Trunks]], sons of Goku and Vegeta respectively, attain the ability to transform at a remarkably young age, again to widespread surprise from the main cast. (Goten, who was about a year younger than Trunks' age of eight, stated that his transformation was so long ago that he was unable even remember it occurring.) Though their reasons for so easily transforming are never officially stated, the common theory is that it could have been the DNA inherited from their fathers' ability to transform already during their conception, supported by the fact that it took Gohan, who was also a child when he made his transformation, unbearable hardship to achieve (Gohan was born prior to the start of Dragon Ball Z, thus before his father's transformation). However, Vegeta did not have the ability to transform during Trunks' conception (which took place prior to the Androids' arrival), so this could be disputed.Their [[fusion]] form, [[Gotenks]], seen late in ''Dragon Ball Z'', easily gained the ability to transform into all three levels of Super Saiyan in the series within no more than a half-hour of training in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber (although he has only ever been seen assuming the first and third forms, since he bypassed the second form to ascend to the third level), with the combined energies of Goten and Trunks balancing out the high ''[[ki]]'' consumption of the final transformation. In [[Future Trunks]] case, he would have been conceived in the [[Alternate Timeline]] under very similar circumstances, although it is possible he was not conceived after [[Future Vegeta]] became a Super Saiyan, as the alternate counterparts transformation was never shown. However, despite a younger Future Trunks being weaker than his child alternate counterpart, he was still able to transform at the age of 14 (making him either the youngest or second youngest Super Saiyan in the alternate timeline, depending on when Future Gohan transformed), although he was considerably weaker due to lack of training.


[[File:GohanFutureFinalBattle.png|thumb|left|200px|Future Gohan as a Super Saiyan]]
{{quote|♫♪♬ '''''There's only one Michael Towers / With a packet of crisps / And the cheesiest smile / Michael is a fucking paedophile.''''' ♬♪♫|AnimeLeague, ''The Michael Towers Song''}}
In the television special ''[[The History of Trunks]]'' and within the manga, [[Future Gohan]] is shown to have gained the Super Saiyan transformation long ago, most likely after witnessing the [[Z Fighters]] being slaughtered by the Androids. Therefore, Future Gohan may have assumed his transformation before his present timeline counterpart (by technically a matter of days), although he was far weaker because he was never trained by his father in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, and never mastered the Super Saiyan form. After he is killed, we see Future Trunks transform for the first time (only in the anime, for Trunks seemed to already have attained the transformation rather recently in the original manga), thus showing his original transformation.


In the last episode of ''Dragon Ball GT'', Goku and Vegeta's descendants, [[Goku Jr.]] and [[Vegeta Jr.]], are shown to be able to transform into Super Saiyans from a young age, as well. Goku Jr.'s first transformation in particular was shown in the ''Dragon Ball GT'' special, ''[[A Hero's Legacy]]'', aired at around the time that episode 40 was broadcast. This heavily contradicts the Daizenshuu's explanation that Pan could not transform due to the minuscule percentage of Saiyan blood in her, as being a grandson of the already-1/4 Saiyan Pan would reduce his to no more than one sixteenth, making him almost completely human.
The AnimeLeague meets are just official reasons for FreeSaiyan to hook up with anything on legs as long as it's young, innocent and unsuspecting and has consumed enough free alcohol to kill a Beluga whale and pickle its caviar (provided from the meets 'excess', from which he also draws his wages).


==Movie appearances==
[[A cat is fine too|A boy is fine too,]] as in this case at least one of the participants will have balls, not to mention crying hysterically after sex about how THAT DARNED MEWSKI IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIM! (despite the fact that if Mewski really ''were'' out to get him she could just shop him to [[Partyvan|Operation Ore]] for grooming minors).
[[File:SSJGokuVsCooler.jpg‎|thumb|200px|Super Saiyan Goku delivers a heavy punch to Cooler]]
Super Saiyan made its first movie debut in the film ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Cooler's Revenge]]'', Goku uses his Super Saiyan power to defeat [[Cooler]], Frieza's older and stronger brother, thus finishing off the family.


The Super Saiyan form is also used in the next two films ''[[Dragon Ball Z: The Return of Cooler]]'' by Goku and Vegeta to combat and finally kill Cooler, and in the film ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Super Android 13!]]'' by Goku, Vegeta, and Future Trunks to take down [[Android 14]], [[Android 15]], and [[Android 13]]. It was also very briefly used by Trunks to kill [[Kogu]] in ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound]]''.
There are also plans for a Michael Towers [[shota]] manga series ever since he experimented with boys at his dark expo hostel disguised as a gingerbread house. (Yet again see above picture).


[[File:BrolySuperSaiyan.jpg|thumb|left|Super Saiyan Broly]]
All things move toward their end, however, and in an attempt to put the "Paedo" part of his PaedoBorg antics behind him he now has wild BDSM forum frottage (on a forum that is meant to be PG13 we might add) with (allegedly) 21 year old forum member Kiko<br />[[File:Kiko.jpg|center]].  
In the next film ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan]]'', the Saiyan Broly is also shown to harness the original Super Saiyan transformation, which is what he uses to battle Goku for a few moments when attacking him in the dead of night. He also uses it against Goten and Trunks in ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Broly - Second Coming]]'', until he was forced to unveil his [[Legendary Super Saiyan]] form once again when fighting Gohan in his Super Saiyan 2 form.


[[File:200px-Gogeta_photo.jpg|thumb|[[Gogeta]] as he appears in ''Fusion Reborn'']]
Absolutely nobody will be surprised to learn that "She", if she exists at all, is from Michigan, given (a) The minute proportion of UK-based AL members and (b) What average UK anime fans outside of the forum think of him.
At this point, the movies move into a time period when the original Super Saiyan form has since been outclassed by the more powerful variants, the only users of the basic transformation seen from this point on are [[Goten]], [[Trunks]], and their fusion of [[Gotenks]].


==Dragon Ball Online==
The vomit inducing bios on their combined [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=89669 ALJ forum thread] have set off some alarm bells that suggest that this is the usual Mike Towers bullshit train.
[[File:User1 pic356 1253464937.jpg|thumb|left|A female Super Saiyan in ''Dragon Ball Online'']]
Although Saiyans are not a playable race in the computer game ''[[Dragon Ball Online]]'', players of the [[Human]] race can acquire the transformation through obtaining the [[Dragon Ball (object)|Dragon Balls]] and having the wish granted by [[Shenron]]; a term loosely referred to as ''Super Human'' by players during the game's beta phase since Saiyans were officially stated not to be an appearing race and Super Saiyans being Earthlings in [[1000 Age]]. What this means has not been confirmed as of yet — whether a mocked transformation is granted to them or if Shenron is awakening the latent [[Humans with Saiyan blood|Super Saiyan powers of their origins]], as they are officially listed as ''Humans''. The game's other two race-exclusive transformations (the Namekians' [[Giant Form|Great Namek]] and the Majin's ''Pure Majin'' forms) must also be acquired through summoning Shenron, as well.


Like in the original series, those under the influence of the Super Saiyan transformation discharge golden aura that surrounds their bodies and acquire the trademark green eyes and golden, altered hairstyles; in the game, each Human hairstyle (male and female) has a ''Super Saiyan'' counterpart. Players that choose not to allow their avatars age may acquire the Super Saiyan transformation as children and or other pre-adult stages. Also, unlike the game's other two transformations, techniques acquired in a Human's base form are still accessible, however, Super Saiyans do not obtain transformation-exclusive skills as the other races do.
{{quote|Strengths: Intelligence, Charisma, Loyalty, Courage, Kindness, Selflessness, Insightful, Humour, Organisational/Management Skills and Wit (allegedly), open-minded, extreme resilience (ie: I don't give up), determined, common-sense and logical.
Weaknesses: Apathy, Sadness, Under-Confidence, Social Odd-ball, Fear, Very Poor Relationship Skills with the opposite sex, too-soft.
|We suggest some viagara to help with that "too soft" problem}}


==Premature and advanced levels==
{{quote|Strengths: Honesty, Charisma, Loyalty, Courage, Humor, Playful, Open-Minded, I never give up, Artistic Skills, and above all else Love.
[[File:Super_saiyans.JPG|thumb|200px|Super Saiyans that appeared in the original manga series]]
Weaknesses: High Temper, Low Esteem, Odd man out, horrible relationship skills, fear of failure.
In ''Dragon Ball Z'', the possibility of a power greater than that of a Super Saiyan is first theorized in the episode "[[Laboratory Basement]]", when [[Krillin]] and Future Trunks contemplate how Vegeta plans on retaining his dominance in power among the [[Z Fighters]]. The first of these new heights in power is the Ascended Super Saiyan stage obtained by Vegeta, Future Trunks and later, Goku. This technique (as well as the Ultra Super Saiyan technique that follows) is essentially a method of enhancing the abilities of a Super Saiyan, rather than a complete departure from it in favor of newer and more unique power. It is not until the [[Cell Games]] that this uncharted level of power makes its debut, in the form of Super Saiyan 2. Saiyan characters continue pushing their limits during the series, ultimately discovering a third, and in anime incarnations, fourth level of Super Saiyan. Two exclusive Super Saiyan stages are also featured in the [[List of Dragon Ball films|''Dragon Ball'' films]].
|LadyKikos [[sockpuppet|surprisingly similar]] set of contradicting character traits}}


There are nine variations of the Super Saiyan form, including the standard form itself. The following is a summarized list of the standard, premature, and advanced levels of the Super Saiyan transformation.
[[Some argue|All evidence seems to point]] to the [[:File:KikoTowers.jpg|true identity of LadyKiko]].


*[[False Super Saiyan]], a pseudo-Super Saiyan form resembling a glorified ''[[Kaio-ken]]'', with a orange-yellowish surge of aura. Appeared in ''Lord Slug''.
But who knows? maybe Towers has actually managed to bag himself an internet camwhore single mother with whom to play forum BDSM posting ping pong. Or maybe it's all an elaborate ruse to rile up AL's barely pubescent attack dog Fate-chan into a fit of jealous rage (she has been displaying classic signs of butthurt over Towers and Kiko's frottage fest) so that when she finally meets him in person the standard gag reflex on seeing Towers is overcome, and in a surge of [[Twilight|mad teen angst butthurt]] she will attempt to claim her man.
*[[Super Saiyan]], the standard Super Saiyan transformation. Broly transforms into a form of Super Saiyan with blue and/or purple hair due the use of a [[Mind Control Device]]; he transforms in a normal one without it.
*[[Ascended Super Saiyan]], an advancement in the power of the original Super Saiyan state.
*[[Ultra Super Saiyan]], an even stronger advancement in the power of the original Super Saiyan state.
*[[Full-Power Super Saiyan]], the state of mental and physical perfection of the Super Saiyan transformation itself, rather than an advanced stage.
*[[Legendary Super Saiyan]], a level of Super Saiyan which magnifies its user's strength capacity, without drawbacks. Broly is the only known user of this Super Saiyan variant, and did not appear in the manga.
*[[Super Saiyan 2]], the second Super Saiyan transformation.
*[[Super Saiyan 3]], the third (and final in the manga) Super Saiyan transformation.
*[[Super Saiyan 4]], the last, quintessential Super Saiyan transformation. Appeared only in ''Dragon Ball GT.''


==Trivia==
=AlCon=
*Before the Super Saiyan concept debuted in the dub, the term is used in "[[Stop Vegeta Now!!]]" by Vegeta, who describes Gohan as "Kakarot's son, the little Super Saiyan." However, the concept of the Super Saiyan already existed in the original version. In the original version, the term is first brought by Vegeta after Raditz was killed by Piccolo. While waiting with Nappa on a conquered planet, the two Saiyans talk about getting all seven Dragon Balls and wishing for eternal life. Before taking off on a year long journey to Earth, Vegeta tells Nappa that only after they have become immortals they will be able to become Super Saiyans. However, in the uncut FUNimation Dub, the term is introduced at the same situation as the original version.
*Throughout the [[Dragon Ball (manga)|original manga]] and the anime series based on it (''[[Dragon Ball (anime)|Dragon Ball]]'' and ''[[Dragon Ball Z]]''), no Saiyans ever used the Super Saiyan transformation while at the same time possessing a tail. However, in ''[[Dragon Ball GT]]'', Goku's tail was restored partway through the series, and just like the hair on his head and eyebrows, the hair on his tail turned a golden color when he accessed his Super Saiyan forms (this golden tail is also shown in the cover of the first GT guidebook ''Perfect Files'').
*All of Goku and Vegeta's known ''male'' descendants have been able to transform into Super Saiyans.
*The terms ''"Ascended Super Saiyan"'' and ''"Ultra Super Saiyan"'' are actually just common fan terms to differentiate between the two bulked up forms, as they are never named in the manga or anime. However, they are named in the Daizenshuu as Types or Grades 2 and 3.
*Goku and Vegeta are the only ''full-blooded'' Saiyans that can transform into Super Saiyans in [[canon]] series. [[Broly]] is the other, but only in the films. ([[Onio]] is a full-blooded Saiyan that can also turn Super Saiyan, but he only appears in Toriyama's self-parody of Dragon Ball called Neko Majin, and also interestingly lacks a tail)
*In the ''Budokai Tenkaichi'' series, as well as the first Broly Movie, Broly's base Super Saiyan Form (before he turns into his Legendary Form) has Blue hair instead of the usual Gold. This is presumably due to the controlling device his father put on him, as in "Second Coming", his Super Saiyan form had gold hair. This "Second Coming" appearance was made available as a secondary costume in the sequel games, as well as the Legendary Super Saiyan variation, which features whiter skin and torn clothing to match.
*In ''Dragon Ball GT'' when Goku goes Super Saiyan whilst having the tail sometimes his tail does not change color to gold, when both the tailed Super Saiyan 3 appearance and the first Perfect Files cover seem to indicate that the tail should have turned gold. In ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Burst Limit]]'', when a player uses Vegeta in his Saiyan saga outfit, the tail will not turn gold when Super Saiyan, just as it did not in ''Budokai 3'' or ''Infinite World''.
*Since its first appearance, the Super Saiyan has become one of ''Dragon Ball Z's'' most recognizable images.
*In ''Cooler's Revenge'', when Goku goes Super Saiyan, a bird that was killed when Cooler prepared to tear the planet apart was revived by Goku's transformation, which implies that Super Saiyans have a degree of healing abilities, although this only appeared in the film and he may of just transferred energy to the dying bird, like when Goku transferred energy to Frieza.
*In "[[Saiyans Emerge]]" and ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound]]'', a Human is seen with a shirt that says ''The Super Saiyan''.
*Goku has the first transformation into Super Saiyan form in the manga since the Original Super Saiyan. However, in the film ''[[Dragon Ball Z: Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan]]'', it is revealed Broly may have transformed before him, although Broly does not exist in the original story.
*In ''[[Dragon Ball Online]]'', [[Human]]s have the ability to become Super Saiyans. In order to do it, they have to make a wish from [[Shenron]].
**''Dragon Ball Online'' also features the introduction of female Super Saiyans.


==Images==
'''AlCon''' (also known as ''FailCon'' and ''LOLCon'') is an [[animu]] [[convention]] which got off to a roaring start by scheduling itself to clash with AmeCon 2009 in ''the same city,'' and refusing to move in an act of brash, assholish grandstanding. [[Spoiler]]: [http://www.neomag.co.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?p=16389&highlight=sweatdrop#16389 nobody turned up.]
<gallery widths="160" captionalign="left">
 
OriginalSuperSaiyan.png|The depiction of the [[original Super Saiyan]] that appears in Vegeta's telling
It was run by a schizophrenic committee, the two "Co-chairs" having just broken up with each other resulting in a screaming hissy fit and one of them being summarily ousted.
Dragonball Z - Yo The Return of Son-Goku and Friends 0798.jpg|Goku showing Tarble what is a Super Saiyan
 
Dragonball Z - Yo The Return of Son-Goku and Friends 1606.jpg|Super Saiyan Gotenks
Based in the De Montfort University in Leicester (and a pub down the road when they got thrown out), it ran between September 7th and September 9th 2007, and proved to the world that you can't spell convention without CON. Somehow [https://www.alcon.org.uk/ it survived] and continues today. And continues to be a shitshow. [https://twitter.com/suki42deathlake/status/1035808440843739136][http://foodandcosplay.org/2015/09/25/alcon-2015/]
Photo2860281hq5.jpg|Goten and Trunks Super Saiyans
 
 
== The Committee ==
[[Image:Mewski101.jpg|thumb|left|Mewski]][[Image:AlConChairmanMike.PNG|thumb|right|FreeSaiyan, <s>chairman</s> Uberreichsfuhrer of AlCon, aka Mike Towers, yesterday. Giggidy Giggidy Goo.]]
 
The committee consisted of an ever-changing number of people, but was originally led by the two-headed beast of [[FreeSaiyan]] and 'Mewski', who were also screwing each other. Regular readers of these hallowed pages will need no telling that on the internet, this seldom ends well.
 
Predictably, FreeSaiyan and Mewski broke up, so FreeSaiyan went into in a jealous [[rage]] and tried to make Mewski cry by kicking her off the Committee in an act of petty revenge for [[Pool's closed|closing her pool to him.]] Mewski, who held all the contracts for the event, returned fire by threatening to pull the plug.
 
The vote to kick her off was held in secret (the sure sign of a committee that isn't falling apart at the seams) and she was finally [[GTFO|ejected]] in a massive, lulz-heavy screaming bitch fight during a committee meeting around May 2007.
 
What none of them seemed to have considered was that with Mewski gone, nobody was left who had any experience whatsoever running a convention - FreeSaiyan himself isn't even capable of holding down a job, and thinks that running a shitty webforum that he posts in all day is as good as going out and earning a wage like everyone else.
 
===2008 Committee===
 
For 2008, FreeSaiyan needed a plan for getting new staff in. Why call on friends or pay skilled professionals, though, when you can flimflam a bunch of precious hangers-on from your forums into doing it though?
 
Unluckily for these poor saps he has suckered in, FreeSaiyan constantly bombards them with phone calls, e-mails, PMs and any other form of communcation that he can use to exhort them to do his bidding. ("His bidding" in this case means turning the convention into a gigantic clusterfuck of advertising for the websites he runs.)
 
==THE DRAMAS!!==
[[Image:Freesaiyanlovesboys.jpg|thumb|right|Mike's typical greeting to the newest under 16 <s>rent boy</s> member kicks off Shagathon 2008.]]
 
===Shagathons===
Every year the is an annual shagathon where the most drugged up, drunk and biggest failures get together to out try and see which couple are best at sex. The roll of on'er (get it?) of Towers' previous frotfests reads as follows...
 
#'''2004''' - (Held in Women's Toilet) - Winners: McJones and Jade
#'''2005''' - (Held in room 42b) - Winners: no winners, all suffered from premature ejaculation
#'''2006''' - (Held in Women's Toilet) - Winners: Ash and Asana
#'''2007''' - (Held in Games Room) - Winners: Ash and Jenny (Arkio and Asana were later disqualified for faking orgasms)
#'''2008''' - (Held in room 39b) - Winners: To Be Decided!
 
===Ryan Gentle===
[[Image:Ryan_secret1.jpg|thumb|right|And we're off to a good start!]]
 
The first many heard of Alcon was when Ryan gentle aka Senshimedia e-mailed UK [[anime]] dealers claiming to be the AlCon dealer liason. Cue the breaking out of suture kits and surgical tape as those in the UK anime community who know of this lying, scheming, molecule-minded knobend desperately attempted to sew their splitting sides back together.
 
In a frantic bid to claw back credibility AlCon [http://mewski.livejournal.com/448216.html prepared a press release] disassociating themselves with Ryan and making it clear they bought him a one-way ticket to BannedVille. Ryan's reaction? [http://senshimedia.livejournal.com/4669.html Gun based violence]. Best of luck with your next endeavour, m8!
 
===Gamestation===
British game store chain Gamestation were reported to have been eager to run the Games Room at AlCon. However when we called the manager of the local GameStation he laughed and claimed to have "Filed their phone number somewhere, probably in the bin".
 
===Midlands MCM Expo===
[[Image:AlConCampus2.jpg|thumb|right|The place of the convention itself]]As previously mentioned, the original dates for AlCon clashed with the new Midlands MCM Expo. As not previously mentioned, they tried to reason with AlCon. However, FreeSaiyan decided that the Midlands MCM Expo was out to get them and told them where to shove it.
 
Unsurprisingly, the staff of Midlands MCM Expo pulled their backing for - and according to the ever-lulzworthy Ryan, [http://senshimedia.livejournal.com/4669.html AlCon became a banned word on the MCM Expo forums].
 
===AmeCon 2007===
In an attempt to consolidate their atrocious attendance figures, some of the committee set up a registration desk at AmeCon'07 in the, er, Bring and Buy Room.
 
Despite strict instructions not to harass AmeCon attendees, the people "Running" the desk employed what can only be described as [[Scientology|barrow-boy tactics,]] venturing out into corridors and haranguing anyone that ventured within half a light year of the Bring and Buy Room, including AmeCon committee members, one of whom was collared at least three times.
 
Furthermore, despite the promise of live-action fanservice in the less-than-appealing shape of a topless female (Washu), they actually ended up worse off than when they started.
 
[[Image:Cloakroom.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Alcon's "Dealer room" LET THE SELLINGZ COMMENCE!... oh, hang on, where's everyone's stuff gone...?"]]Total registrations: <i>Zero</i>
 
Total cancellations: <i>One</i>
 
<i>Mission...... Well and truly [[FAIL]]ED</i>
 
===Event stealing===
It was already well known that AlCon were only out to steal events from other, more established conventions to fund their own pockets and as a vain attempt to claw back what they were set to lose.
 
This was even more evident when, while trying to browbeat AmeCon members into signing up, they managed to poach one of the long time standing guests of AmeCon - Japanese culture expert and all round very nice person Akemi Solloway.
 
This must have been done on the quiet, because otherwise the AmeCon staff would have both (a) jumped on the surreptitious little twats and turfed them out on their arses a damn sight sooner and (b) let poor, credulous Akemi know what she was letting herself in for.
 
The full thread, the near-total lack of enthusiasm and the surprising absence of posts saying "Hold up, wasn't she at AmeCon?" can be seen [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=12478 here].
 
===Committee Confusion===
 
{{quote|I have never been or ever will be committee member for alcon. As of a few months ago I now no longer have any relations with mike towers or manga alliance. The advertising I have done for Alcon has been removed from all the places they have been posted and I hope that if there are any copies of anything I have done for alcon they need to be Burned and forgoten about.|Sakuraslight}}
 
TL;DR: Every time drama erupts, someone else is mysteriously vanished from the committee roster, as if they never existed. Eerie.
 
=== Registration Count ===
[[Image:Emptyconventioncenter.jpg|thumb|150px|Alcon in full swing...]]At the end of June 2007, the membership had climbed to an epic 96 paid members (88 if you discount the committee). At under 30% of capacity, things got so bad that FreeSaiyan was reduced to sending out email missives to all his forum pals encouraging them to sign up.
 
The pitch, astonishingly, was that registrations for the doomed convention are going so fast that they would close by the end of July 2007.
 
'''''Pfffffffff.'''''
 
=== Dealers' Room ===
In perhaps the jewel in the crown of AlCon's complete and total incompetence, the dealers turned up to find a Dealers' Room that was both (a) unguarded and (b) ''unlocked''. That's right folks, the Dealers' Room was left '''''COMPLETELY UNSECURED''''' and without a single soul around to protect it from thieving little fucktards.
 
Many a dealer has sworn never to have anything to do with future conventions 'run' by A.L. on the back of this.
 
===Breach of Copyright===
[[Image:Violation.png|thumb|right| Nuh-uh-uh... crying "fair use" wont cover this. Hello, is that Clamp's legal representatives...?]]
For 2009, those naughty chaps have been using a trademarked character - Kero from Card Captor Sakura - to lure in new marks. Happily, as the convention is a commercial venture, this doesn't even live in the same area code as "Fair use."
 
Curiously, his precious "Pwanda" mascot isn't the creature on the page. Perhaps he finally realised it was a pile of shit. Or maybe Pwanda hasn't been putting out lately.
 
==The Convention Itself==
[[Image:alcon_flyer.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Events and guests promised for AlCon, circa 2007. Can YOU spot the differences, boys and girls?]][[Image:Piratewhale.jpg|thumb|[[Harpoons]]!!!It seems this [[pirate]] has caught [[whale]]!]]The convention was set to run up to about 7pm each evening... at which point everyone was be kicked out of the main University and all of the "[[300]]" members were to head to a pub down the road where all the evening events were meant to happen.
 
According to the publicity, this car-crash of an event was to feature a DJ. The DJ in question was supplied by the bar and didn't play any slitty-eyed music at all. Cue a bunch of pissed-off Weeaboos having to spend four hours listening to Britshite that college kids like.
 
Posted before the con by FreeSaiyan himself [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=125 on the AnimeLeague Forums] was this lovely list of reasons why people should have attended AlCon.
 
'''1. We're all friendly and down to Earth. Probably the friendliest convention in the UK.'''
(''Note that he wouldn't know as he hasn't been to a single convention, or had a single friend. Besides which, you'd think the friendlier ones would have committee meetings rather than committee fucking screaming matches.'')
 
'''2. Anime Bar! In addition to everything else, we have a bar with anime on the big screens! Relax, and have a few drinks!'''
(''A sad attempt to put positive spin on the fact that everything shuts down at seven, and they force everyone into a shitty English pub. Oh, sorry, if you're under 18 that means LOL [[Butthurt|BUTTHURT]] FOR YOU!'')
 
'''3. NOT just anime! We have rooms for Video Gamers, Roleplayers, Artists, and much more! Even if you aren't a huge anime fan, you'll have a great time!'''
(''"Hey, Mike. I thought we were an anime convention?" "Shut up! We still have to sell another 220 places to get my- I mean our money back!"'')
 
'''4. Attention to detail. Since we're relatively small (300 people), we can put in the time to ensuring you get an amazing convention experience! We'll put in the effort for you.'''
(''Remember that guy who said that hell was being trapped in a room with all your friends? Well, if they can't be fucking civil in committee meetings, we can only speculate how much lulz will ensue on a weekend when they actually have to do some work.'')
 
'''5. So much for cosplayers! Cosplay Masquerade, cosplay blind-date and so much more planned!'''
(''Cosplay blind date? "So much for cosplayers" indeed.'')
 
[[Image:Cosplay010.jpg|thumb|right|The only guy who had fun at the con, due to being fisted.]]'''6. Awesome guests. So far we have Dave Cheung of the awesome Chugworth Academy webcomic, and MasakoX of the incredibly popular Naruto Abridged series. More guests to come!'''
(''<b>WEB</b>comic artist whose <b>WEB</b>comic hasn't even been on the fucking <b>WEB</b> for months, and the guy who does the unbearable shitty knockoff of [[Yu-Gi-Oh]] Abridged... joooooooooooooy. Note: Still more interesting than meeting shit American voice-actors at Amecon'')
 
'''7. We're very CHEAP! Only £30 entry. AND, if you need a place to stay, you can stay at the Halls of Residence (3 minutes walk away) for just over £50 for three nights. We're one of the cheapest conventions in the UK!'''
(''Actually, this one is almost true - but they probably don't mean the same sense of CHEAP! as we do. But then again, you get what you pay for. By AlCon's standards, you could hold an "Anime convention" in your bathroom by drawing frames from Naruto on the wall in your own urine for FREE!'')
 
'''8. Dealers! An entire room to buy the kind of items you'd not normally be able to find in the shops!'''
(''With [[Ryan Gentle|Ryan]] as the original dealer liaison, this is bound to be a success!!!! We can't wait!!!! And of course you can't normally find this kind of tat in the shops - especially if you're looking in a fucking grocery shop. But they are right with the drugs that are sold, you can't find them in the shops.'')
 
'''9. We love to party! Pub Quiz, J-Party, AMV Night, and much more lined up!'''
(''All in the bar! Wow, that bar is starting to sound kind of full, huh? Of course, they haven't contacted any of the people who have experience of running events like this, so you can look forward to a bunch of dorks trying to figure out how to connect a laptop to a TV while everyone else counts the ceiling tiles.'')
 
'''10. We have an amazing online community. Just go visit the animeleague forums and get to know us today!'''
(''Another ploy to get people to join FreeSaiyan's community, where 90% of members aren't even from the UK, and the UK section is just filled with gruesome Drama.'')
 
===Post Con===
[[Image:Shogun1.jpg|thumb|left|Visuel Kei from the UK... Lets gloss over the fact it's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_kei japanese movement] shall we]][[Image:Yarr.jpg|thumb|left|What the fuck do these guys have to do with anime?]]
 
As soon as FailCon was over, the reports started coming in hard and fast with such comments as "All we could do is stand around" and "The MCM Expo is alot better than AlCon" rapidly appearing.
 
Some from "helpers" on the day, specifically the long ditched Mewski, who tried to help out the convention '''despite''' warnings from everyone that FreeSaiyan would just abuse her, and promptly proved them all right. This included the borrowing of everything she owned, as FailCon had not even considered <i>bringing any equipment with them</i>, and also the fact that the dealers <b>still</b> considered Mewski to be the chair of the con.
 
As predicted by all who had even the slightest semblance of a clue, the convention was a complete failure.
 
===2009 Convention===
 
Much to the amusement of all, fAiLcon keeps crawling along like a half dead dog waiting for someone to put it out of its misery. Despite its second run in 2008 repeating nearly all the mistakes of its 2007 outing, the slack jawed nitwits that occupy the AL forum continue to pay to attend, little realising that there is a whole host of better run events up and down the country they could spend their parents' hard earned money on.
 
These idiots - combined with first time congoers who don't know any better (and who never make the mistake of going to fAiLcon again afterwards) - allow Towers to continue his sorry little wankfest and pay for the sort of A list guests and entertainment making an appearance at this year's train wreck.
 
So far we have a [http://www.myspace.com/machinashogunate UK Visual Kei band] no one has heard of who claim they will "Rip down the walls between Eastern and Western music and lead a Visual Kei revolution the world over." How they intend to do this by playing at an anime convention where everyone is well aware of Visual Kei is anyones guess. Shit though they are, they do at least have some kind of tenuous link to Japan; more than can be said for the second BIG act Towers has lined up.
 
[http://www.skullbrandedpirates.com/ Skull Branded Pirates]... Now, while this author stands by the solid concept of a thrash metal pirate band, we fail to see what this has to do with an anime convention. Towers probably justifies their inculsion due to fAiLcons "Clan" system (an idea ruthlessly stolen from [http://www.tokonatsu.org.uk/ Tokonatsu]) which includes pirates as one of the clans.
 
Our condolences go out to the Skull Branded Pirates who obviously have no clue as to what they have been suckered into and upon realising their error they live up to their pirate name and keelhaul Towers from the front of their van as they rape and pillage the rotting carcass that is fAiLcon.
 
=JapAnime Network / Manga Alliance / Fail-Expo (AKA Towers' New Masterplan)=
[[Image:ChristTowers.jpg‎|thumb|right|Christ Towers, saviour of the UK anime scene. Oft can the mantra "Oh Christ, It's Towers" be heard ringing round other events. Hallelujah, Mein Führer!]]
 
FreeSaiyan's latest venture into the rarefied air of Lulzland is a laughable attempt to become the PaedoBorg of the UK anime community. (Yes, he will assimilate your kids with Rohypnol flavoured cookies.)
 
Around the middle of March 2009, various members of UK anime convention committees received an [[Spam|email]] from MISTER Towers bringing the '''JapAnime Network''' to their [[apathy|attention]]. The aim of the network is to "get beyond the credit crunch" - strangely, he doesn't go into much detail at that point (it shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that he votes Conservative, as that’s pretty much what the [[Tory|Tory Party]]’s policies were at the 2010 UK General Election - and scarily, they ''still'' ended up in power) - and unify the entire UK anime scene into one glorious whole.
 
With one glorious hole sitting at the head of it all.
 
With this in place, his fantasy continues with everyone "Helping one another through combined resources and expertise" and "Expanding what we have and building a better future for everybody in and outside of the industry."
 
Read: because everyone worth a damn in the scene has his address spam-filtered, he wants everyone else to do his donkeywork and spam FOR him, and thus he will ascend to his rightful place as '''TEH MAN''' of anime in the UK.
 
Make no mistake, Michael Towers is not in this for the good of the UK anime industry - he is in it for Michael Towers, and for Michael Towers alone.
 
All he wants the people he's [[spam|contacted]] to do is:
*Give him all their contacts so he can buttspam them to oblivion
*Plaster his shit mascot logo, Pwanda the <s>typo</s> Panda, all over the fucking joint - even on official con merch (it is rumored that Pwanda is an excuse for Mike to dress up in a costume and approach young children more easily)
*Whore his lackeys' tat as promotional items
*Inform him of any promotional campaigns the [[Victim|event]] might run, so he can <s>steal the idea and use it himself</s> advise further and give useful input
*Give him your undying support and adulation as the brain behind it all
*Don't go talking to each other without him being told about it because that would make him cry
*...oh, and your daughter looks pretty fit too... she ''is'' under 16, isn't she...
 
The established anime conventions of the UK took one look at this and promptly burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. When they eventually regained composure, the general consensus was "Oh, for the love of all that is even semi-holy, will this spacker ''EVER'' just ''fuck the cunting shit right off?!''"
 
What Towers can't get through his inch-thick skull and into his bubblegum brain is that there is absolutely '''no need''' in the UK anime scene for such an organisation, because the anime conventions largely get along just fine with each other anyway. From MinamiCon to Auchinawa, AmeCon to Tokonatsu, AyaCon to Tomodachi, the committees have friends across the board, and help each other out when their events run as it is.
 
Some even have committee members who are also on ''another'' event's committee, so they have links that way as well. Even if there ''was'' a requirement for this, they wouldn't touch a thing that Towers has had his mitts on with some bugger ''else's'' barge pole.
 
The only thing of his they ''do'' want to touch is his face. With a baseball bat. Freshly nailed. And even then, they'd burn the bat afterward.
 
At events following the announcement of the JapAnime Network, committee members have, you know, "Networked" with members of other committees to have a pint, chuckle at the proposal, and, you know, "Help one another through combined resources and expertise. "And they did it all without his "Help" too. Funny that.
 
Undeterred, Towers has garnered some support - Alcon and AnimeLeague jumped at the chance to join such a forward-thinking venture, which is '''absolutely nothing''' to do with the fact that both of those shitholes are his own wall-eyed, eleven-toed children as well. He sucked enough cock at <s>Delusional</s> [[Dimensional Entertainment]], another body famed for their [[retarded|interesting]] ways of doing things, and CollectorMania have also added themselves to the list. Along with this came a rebrand - the Japanime Network became the '''Manga Alliance'''.
 
Possibly funniest is that even Towers admits the alliance is bullshit, as can be seen in the following lolworthy quote from his own forum (which he has since naturally deleted lest his horrifying hypocrisy be revealed to all; fortunately someone has [[:File:Forumlol.jpg|screen capped it for prosperity]].)
 
{{quote|Sad thing is that Manga Alliance isn't really all that important anymore. It's detractors made the original concept unworkable by virtue that their immature and overblown initial reaction to it effectively split the UK community in half. Since then we re-worked the concept to focus more on bringing anime and manga to new events (and indeed helping new events out). From this new premise we are seeing radical change such as London Film & Comic Con agreeing to take us on to see a massive expansion of anime and manga.
 
Yet what I term the "elitists" have outright ignored this change, preferring to try and pretend that we are still trying to "unite the community". They're doing this to try and make us look blind and dogmatic. They are trying to make us look like morons.
 
Sadly this is generally how these people work.
|Mike Towers whom, lest we forget, everyone is still out to get}}
 
Ignoring for the moment the fact that A) Mike needs nobody to ''try'' to make him look like a moron and that B) ''There is no need for a networking club for an industry that already has excellent channels of communication,'' the Alliance was (and still is) a ridiculously obvious  marketing tool for Dimensional Entertainment.
 
[[Image:Shameless.jpg‎|thumb|right|Mike forcing Sexual Harassment Pwanda onto his meet-ups. Grope grope. No self-promoting going on here, move along now, nothing to see...]]
 
A quick [[PROTIP|tip]] for the fucktards behind this bullshit: if you're trying to sell something as representative of the whole UK, plastering your companies flagship character over everything is not the way to do it (Especially when the Panda is the national animal of China dipshits).
 
FYI, the concept has not been "Re-worked" at all. All the drivel on the Alliance site is still about getting through the credit crunch and sharing resources, so why Towers is so surprised that "Elitists" (i.e. anyone who has half braincell and can therefore see right through him) are ignoring him I don't know.
 
Flushed with such success, Towers then went on to tread on even more toes - specifically, those of MCM Expo. His delusions of grandeur led him to propose a rival Expo event that's "Fresh" and "The place to be".
 
You see, MCM can only afford guests like the cast of Heroes and scenery like the actual Ecto-1 from Ghostbusters. Mike knows better, and is presumably in negotiations with the author of My Immortal and the guy who wrote the Twilight flash game.
 
Encyclopedia Dramatica wishes them the organisers of MCM every success in giving the little fucktard a hearty kicking.
 
'''''UPDATE:''''' Towers actually had the front to turn up to the MCM in May 2009, and was shortly afterward ejected. The circumstances surrounding his GTFOing are unknown, but he is now trying to pretend it didn't happen.
 
See here for Mike and Dimensional <s>Enterfailment</s> Entertainment's attempt to defend their utter bullshit "Manga" and fail for epic lulz - [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=210&t=86232 Shit Manga wannabe]
 
=Team Dimension=
 
As part of his continuing drive to force himself on the UK anime community like Gary Glitter on a Vietnamese school child, Towers in partnership with Dimensional Entertainment has also formed an online unofficial art school (so not really a school at all then) for the AL forums called [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=82135 Team Dimension].
 
The aim of this is to apparently turn the retarded spunktards who infest this forum into elite manga making teams. This is presumably so Towers can get someone to make a manga series based round himself that depicts him in a world where being an [[Chris-chan|unemployed failure]] who lives with his mum and runs poorly organised conventions made up of ideas stolen from other, better run events is something to be proud of.
 
The scheme has a five level program (hmmm, think I heard something like this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology before,] only less sinister) that is apparently designed to help people work up from the skill level of a talentless monkey smearing shit on the wall to a fully fledged manga-ka.
 
Feel free to laugh at the levels on the link [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=82135 forum post] as ED now presents a more accurate interpretation:
 
'''Level 1: Entry/Portfolio'''
 
No drawing required (pretty fucking odd for an art school) you’re just required to learn the correct approach which is to bend over and let Towers and Dimensional fuck you in the ass.
 
'''Level 2: Building your style'''
 
Having determined what style you like to be fucked in Team Dimension will educate you on what the professional Team Dimension standard is. As it turns out, it's to draw and write shitty manga that no high street store will stock.
 
'''Level 3: Team Building'''
 
Team Dimension will try to put you into artistic teams, but won’t be able to because you like everyone else in this ponzi scheme wants to be an artist too. Acting like a proper artist and working through jobs such as inker, toner or letterer sounds to much like hard work to you.
 
'''Level 4: Formalising Teams'''
 
If we somehow manage to cobble together a group of people that can manage to draw something that doesn’t look like a syphilis ridden whore took a shit on a pizza then we get you to work on magazine adverts and on projects for game and toy companies. Well, we would, if we actually had any industry links or paid commission work beyond making our shitty Pwanda manga (for which you will not be paid).
 
'''Level 5: Professional Production'''
 
If somehow you and your team mates have accidentally picked up the skills that allow you to produce a professional product that people might want to buy we automatically own all rights and royalties. Then, having screwed you like a cheap whore we’ll wipe our dick clean on your leg and leave you in a puddle made of your broken dreams and raped childhood.
 
Even Mike himself doesn't know how many people, if any, would make it to level 5 [http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=203&t=84487], but rest assured this <s>isn't</s> is a total scam to get free artwork from artists.  <b>Note:</b> Nobody has discussed the requirements to move up from level 4 to level 5, meaning that teams will forever be stuck at level 4, with a likely excuse being "Your artwork is good, but just not good enough to make into a professional manga".  If a team should protest against this [[faggotry|decision]], that team will just be told that they can [[gtfo|make dojinshi]].
 
=Cosplay Island=
 
The nice folk at [http://www.cosplayisland.co.uk/ Cosplay Island] given Mike a head start in their forums, but questioned the need for, and legality of, taking the personal details of under-16s in his School of <s>Manga</s> failure - a question that Comrade Mikhail Andreievich Towerski swung the banhammer at the questioner for.
 
When he realised that this wasn't actually his forum, he ran whining to the moderators that the nasty people were being not very nice to him and to delete the thread. They refused - instead deleting the spam-post he placed there for his Fail-Expo, leaving the resultant (and thoroughly deserved) shitstorm of abuse in a locked thread as a warning from history.
 
FreeSaiyan's latest paranoid delusion is that those who posted in the thread are the same ones who wrote this section of the page. After having his [[e-penis]] laughed at, he bleated out this brainfart on his own forum, and had his ego massaged by the liquid-minded spacktards therein, as they licked his arse and called it chocolate. They then went forth and proclaimed e-fatwas on his behalf on various forums and blog posts that criticise their [[retard|God]] and his glorious [[failure|work]].
 
{{quote|Al is a great place where you can meet new people who also like anime and also go to conventions {having not been one yet myself} If you have any problems with AL why don’t you start slagging my forums off aswell, Mike put alot of hard work into AL, and kept the community growing, I don’t care if you all just call me a ‘kid’ but I’ll have you know I myself create forums so stop slagging AL off, it doesn’t deserve it...
 
Mike just helps others forget about their childhood, create a new life, and trust other people, I beg of you please remove this blog, please.|Blog "replies" from AL attack dog Fate-chan, stopping herself just before she mentioned [[Jesus Juice]]}}
 
So you've never been to a convention, but you create forums yourself, hmm...? Sounds like you want to be Towers yourself, Fate-chan; that's exactly how ''he'' started on his megalomaniacal path...
 
The tragic thing is, it's quite simply not true. The simple truth is that '''''NO FUCKER''''' who's been in the UK anime, manga, cosplay, gaming, and Japanese culture communities for anything more than half a ''femto''second, likes Michael Towers, his squadron of llamas and the drama they spread at the slightest whine from their leader. Anyone with an IQ of more than one digit wouldn't trust him to run a fucking ''bath'', never mind any (dis)organisation like this.
 
However, now back in his comfort zone and not liking the way things were going for him, he has now decided to pretend it never happened, deleting his own AL posts accusing Cosplay Island members of updating here. We, however, know the truth, and await his next drama-generating lump of faeces with great languor and detestation.
 
=AnimeLeague Club London=
 
[[image:Facepalms.jpg|thumb|290px|left|When you're even making anime characters react like this, surely you can see it's time to hang it up. Can't you?]]
 
Said turd of fail did not take very long at all to arrive. Spamming sections of anime forums designated no-spam zones (does he ''ever'' fucking learn?!), Towers plugged the AnimeLeague Club London, a one-day event which is to be held at the Slug And Lettuce in America Square in the heart of London, mid-November.
 
If this sounds a lot like the London Anime Club did to you, you'd be right - for it is the exact same venue the LAC ran at. He's basically ripped off the ''entire'' format of LAC and claimed it as his own.
 
[[image:katch.jpeg|thumb|right|Here comes Katch - better nail everything down, motherfucker...]]
 
The announcement of fAiLCL (as it is already being called) generated the usual amount of lulz, especially when posted in the MinamiCon forums. Many of the people behind MinamiCon also ran LAC, which discontinued its regular events at the end of 2008 due to dwindling numbers over the years.
 
Despite this, Towers seems to believe he'll be able to get 400 people in for this, promising "Dealers, video gaming, anime screening, an Artist Alley, DDRing, roleplaying, card-gaming, along with many events such as a masquerade, pub-quiz, parties, special guests... and much more!".
 
The problem here is, being an 18+ event held in a bar, many (read: all) of his pubescent spacktard groupies won't be able to get in. For added drama (as if it were needed), the Para-Para obsessed collective [http://roppongistreet.com/ Roppongi Street] will be attendance, including in their number a known thief, vandal and troublemaker by the name of Max "Katch" Beckwith ➤, who has already been permabanned from many an event for being an out-and-out cunt.
 
Beyond that, Towers' reputation already comes caked in so much shit you can smell him from the other side of the city, so anyone who's anyone in UK anime fandom won't be going anywhere near. Not on the day, at least - they'll likely be having a word with the Slug staff to borrow the CCTV footage afterwards for a good laugh.
 
=Chatroom Parties=
 
Towers has recently started spamming all of his mindless minions about some sort of a "Chatroom party" which is where everyone, erm, piles in the IRC channel and, erm, you know, types. The whole idea screams RTS (Real-Time Spamming), which is of course par for the course - it's the original Towers Wet Dream. Here is a copy of the email:
 
Hi There! ^_^
Are you bored this summer? Got nothing to do?
Never fear, come to our chatroom party! It will take place on '''Sunday 26th
July''' and will run from 7PM to midnight GMT (2pm to 7pm EST) in the AL
chatroom and everyone will be invited (whether they're on AL or not)!
We will be running events, contests, our anime radio station (plenty of
music to listen to!) and generally having fun throughout the evening. You
can read up more about it at
http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=88801
To join the chatroom, simply click on the chat link on the Animeleague
forums. The direct link to the chatroom is
http://www.animeleague.net/forums/chat.php We can also be reached on mirc
via '''irc.synirc.net''' and on the '''#animeleague''' channel. ^_^
See you there!
Animeleague Staff
 
"Are you bored this summer? Got nothing to do?" How about you sit hunched in front of your computer for 5 hours watching a wall of piss, arse, wank and drama scroll up the screen, instead of doing something infinitely more productive."
 
More on this as it develops.
 
=Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!=
 
[[image:GoMyMinions.jpg|thumb|540px|right|You wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang, You wanna be in my gang - FUCK NO!]]
 
It is quite clear that FreeSaiyan's favourite food is [[spam]] - he seems to live on absolutely nothing else. To the right there is his most recent command to the shitehawks on the AnimeLeague page on Facebook. The Führer's quite obviously not content with fucking off the UK anime scene, so now he's going after everyone else too...
 
Also on the 14th/15th May 2009, Mr Towers decided to become Nigerian and send everyone in the UK a special email invitation, here is what it says -
 
Hey, Fellow Otaku! o_o; (Noticed you around online)
I was going through some anime boards and I noticed your name there.
So I thought that I'd send you an invite to our community! ^_^
It's located at http://www.animeleague.net/forums . We're a friendly and
slightly insane community that caters for anime, artists, roleplaying,
general off topicness/randomness, entertainment, cosplaying and meetups.
I feel that you'd fit in really well there, so would you like to come
along and check us out? ^^
Also, and just as importantly (!), I want to invite you to the clan I
have on there for British  people, and is called Anglo-Revolution. It's
in the ClanNation section, and the link to it is
http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=35215 
Clans are a great way to get easily involved and jump in. ^_^
I'm also on AIM. My AIM name is FreeSaiyan
My msn name is '''''[email protected]'''''
I do not check my email much, so if you wish to reply, then you're more
likely to get a response  if you either IM me, or register on the boards
and PM FreeSaiyan on there.
Thanks, hope to see you around! ^_^
Can you spot the spamtarget, kiddies? I wonder how he'd react to his own treatment...? I'm ''sure'' he'd like it.
 
Alternatively, we would recommend [http://www.ico.gov.uk/Home/complaints/data_protection.aspx following this link] to make a formal complaint under the [http://www.ico.gov.uk/what_we_cover/data_protection.aspx Data Protection Act].
 
=Bribery, Spying, Interrogation & Hypocrisy=
In the latest episode of ''A Certain Saiyantific Failgun'', Mikey-Boy has decided to turn his whole fucking forum base into shills to pull unsuspecting retards into his little online circle-jerk, artificially inflating his e-penis even further. The plan is that for every new member that an existing one (let’s call them Fucktard A) gets to join up, said Fucktard gets 500 [[Internet money|internets]]. If, one month later, Spacker B is still on the board and has posted more than 50 times, an additional 500 internets are added to Fucktard A’s account, magically generating £1 ($1.50 US) of [[IRL]] moneyz out of thin air. Towers will allegedly stump up via PayPal when they hit £3, and ''says'' he is not taking advantage of this scheme himself - probably because he’ll be scamming something even bigger on the back of it.
 
Surely Question One that any individual with even half an ounce of conscious, rational thought in their heads would be asking is: '''''where is the money coming from?''''' It sure as fuck isn’t coming from the proceeds from FailCon. Having failed to fully book-out the 700 places the con has set, a measly 56 (barely 11%) of those who have signed up have put their money where the drama is. Other, not to mention ''bigger'', conventions in the UK book up rock solid inside 2 weeks to more than ''double'' the figure that FailCon’10 has - the difference being that their members actually '''''pay up'''''. You can guarantee, for example, that 2011’s MinamiCon 17 will be half-full by the Sunday of MinamiCon 16, which takes place in April 2010.
 
The whole ‘deal’ was greeted by the UK anime community with no small amount of hilarity, as Towers has once again opened his swing-top nut, displaying to the masses the rattling, pea-sized amount of matter he contains therein. Someone else must have borrowed his single functioning braincell when this stratagem was brewed up, as true to form, it’s made of solid 24-carat '''''[[FAIL]].''''' Only a complete molecule-mind would go so far as to, let’s face it, '''''BRIBE''''' people to encourage others to use his forums, and do so with such a hypocritical goal as to make sure people keep posting to his wanky little cyber-spunkfest. For an individual who is renowned as THE single least-posting member of any forum outside of his own - why, if not for his shamelessly self-promoting spam and whiny, retro-perambulating defence posts, he probably wouldn’t be posting elsewhere '''''at all''''' - to start asking others to keep posting in his forum in such a fashion is duplicity worthy of GLaDOS herself. Furthermore, claiming to crack down on those using proxies, when he has such a fetishistic love of using them himself - witness his futile attempts to defile this page - denotes such a neck of <s>shining brass</s> pound-shop gold paint, giraffes look on in envy. As if that were not enough, he’s also going to be '''spying''' on new members that signed up by this hare-brained initiative, and ''interrogating'' them, as this quote suggests...:
 
{{quote|We will PM members and check you bought them...|Oh, never was a slip so Freudian... People are not a commodity, Mike, they certainly don’t like being '''''BOUGHT'''''. They won’t be keen on having their integrity questioned like that either. Hell of a way to drive people away. Just an FYI...}}
<br>
 
=2010 Update=
Following multiple attemps to derail both this page and its talk page on ED by various Hogwarts-obsessed minions, spackers and sock-puppets, this EDitor has gained permission from a mod to update with happenings as of mid-August 2010. Strap yourselves into the LOLlercoaster, everyone - '''''here we fucking well go...'''''
 
== Spam Lords Are From Gallifrey Too! ==
Towers is now fucking with '''''time''''' as well as the anime scene. Apparently the next fAiLCL will be a full day event - which he classes with his very next spack-out as '''''mid-day to midnight'''''. It seems there are is now a new timezone that spins twice as fast as the rest of the planet, making one full day go by in a mere 12 hours. This is entirely plausible, though, as Towers’ gargantuan ego is enormous enough to generate its own gravity field, likely causing a slingshot effect to make him travel faster than shite, enabling him to ''really believe'' all the fucked-up drama he spins.
 
This EDitor wouldn’t put it past Towers to try and claim FailCon 2010 is the country’s first '''''SIX-DAY''''' anime con on the back of this.
 
Also, completing the ninja-ing of the original (and STILL best) London Anime Club, universally referred to in the UK anime community as '''''LAC''''', Towers now calls this blatant knock-off the '''''L'''''ondon '''''A'''''nime '''''C'''''on. Flyers seen in Orbital post-Expo confirm this. Plagiaristic fuck.
 
==NemaCon==
In other convention news, rookie event NemaCon, based in Middlesbrough Town Hall, Teesside, severed all ties with Towers after he waded in spam-fisted again, claiming that it was a convention being organised by AnimeLeague. In reality, it was organised in conjunction with Middlesbrough borough council. Whether the council was pointed in the direction of this page is unknown, but if not, there can be no doubt that they’d have cut links a damn sight faster if they had been.
 
==The Banhammer Backfires==
Towers was finally subjected to a taste of his own medicine in the wake of the 2010 MCM Expo, held at the London ExCeL at the end of May. Weaseling his way into the position of an admin on the MCM Facebook page, he asked the head admin whether he could make a post there. Said admin didn’t ask what the nature of the post was. Biiiiiiig mistake.
 
The post turned out to be more Towers spam about his own crappy events, flung forth with wild abandon and sticking to inboxes belonging to members of that page like shit on velcro. Being posted in this way, it appeared as if it had come from MCM themselves. This was something that angered many, and led to a thread on the MCM Forums filled with lulz and drama. Being a [http://www.mcmexpogroup.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=299&t=14959 thread that is not AL-based], it remains there for people to PTSL at, with only Towers’ retarded attempts to defend himself (despite being told multiple times to fuck off) being pruned. The thread in question is 7 pages long, so it may be a bit TL;DR for some, but it is well worth the read. The upshot of all this, though, is that Mike Towers has been completely, irreversably banhammered from anything that MCM runs: forums, Expos, any other events. He can’t deny it anymore.
 
'''''• cue Land Of Hope And Glory •'''''
 
==Things That Go Buzz In The Shite==
 
Doctors in ED’s Health Research Department have finally discovered conclusive proof that Fucktarditis is contagious. Some attendees of fAiLcon 2010 seem to have succumbed to this condition, having caught it from their <s>feckless</s> fearless leader, and are organising, of all things, '''''AN [http://www.annsummers.com/ ANN SUMMERS] PARTY'''''. For those outside of the UK who may not be aware of this particular company, Ann Summers is a cheap and nasty chain of high-street sex shops, which entices the hairy-palmed masses through its doors with promises of tacky costumes and lingerie, lotions, potions and various battery-operated devices meant for insertion in various bodily orifices. Also available in sa(i)d emporia is pornography, but the tameness of the material on show means it is barely deserving of such a description; certainly nothing is on offer that’s going to trouble the veritable ''yottabytes'' of grot which the Interweb can and does deliver in abundance without so much as breaking a sweat.
 
An Ann Summers party usually involves a gaggle of cackling harridans gathered round a selection of these products, getting drunker by the second as they pour ever stronger substances down their basic drains, shrieking with shrill laughter as they peruse the assembled items. However, given the nature of fAiLcon gatherings (see Shagathons above), your humble EDitor has a strong hunch that this party won’t end there. The suspicion is that an orgy soaked to the *cough* bone with drama (and other substances of a dubious nature) will ensue, with attendees likening the real-feel silicone contraptions (batteries not included, but supplied in copious numbers, one would wager) to a tentacle or two, and subsequently re-enacting various scenes from tasteful anime classic ''Urotsukidōji: Legend of the Overfiend''.
 
There is a thread in the fAiL forums which is homing in on 200 posts regarding this little soirée, and still hasn’t been stomped as a '''''REALLY FUCKING BAD IDEA''''' - and to complete the diagnosis of Fucktarditis, these simpletons even have set up their own [http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=120602204648681&r8b99b2a0&refid=46 Facebook page] to spread their diarrhoea-brained asshattery ever further. As the particularly disturbing icing on a cake we only wish '''''was''''' a total fucking lie, there seem to be individuals signed up to it of both genders.
 
Leicester’s De Montfort University, the regular venue for fAiLcon (when it doesn’t chuck everyone out and make them decamp to a pub down the road) may or may not have been informed of these plans - we are trying to confirm this. And if it transpires they don’t know - well... public duty and all that *cough* jizz, you know?
 
=2018 Update=
AlCon 2018 was so bad that the attendees were chanting about Mike being a nonce, and making art with glowsticks calling him a pedo. What a fucking shitshow.
 
=Quote Goldmine=
 
<span class="morphMaster" id="slidePagingMaster"></span>
 
<div style="border: 1px solid black; padding: 5px;">
 
<p><span id="slidePagingLinkPrev">Prev Quote</span> | <span id="slidePagingLinkNext">Next Quote</span></p>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent1">{{quote|I have been aware of this person's movements for some time now. I feel his imposition into the anime community has shadowed other long standing, non-benefiting and hard working people. He is a self serving glory seeker, aiming not to improve or serve the animation industry and fans in the UK, but to franchise it by plastering his 'mascot' (a panda with a bandana and dyslexia) over events which he has no intention of enhancing. Please be wary of Mike Towers, his reputation will only damage your event.|Bryan MacDowall}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent2">{{quote|Michael Towers has taken credit for things he obviously had no hand in creating (such as the entire LFCC), and backed out of obligated events (Dimensional Manga's panels).|Wayne Pearce}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent3">{{quote|Towers is a self-serving, power-mad, tyrannical, babbling idiot with severe delusions of grandeur. He cannot & WILL not deliver on his overblown promises. He lies, cheats & avoids responsibility when he can to weasel out of any hole he digs himself into; when he can't, he'll either ignore criticism within his own little fiefdom or whine about things outside of it. He WILL expect people to drop what they're doing INCLUDING day jobs to do all his work for him (not lifting a finger himself) & try to take all the credit and/or profit - he has crowed about the latter in the past openly, in front of those he took monetary advantage of. He DOES back-stab and spread poison against anyone he takes even a slight dislike to, and tries to destroy their own good works by taking them head-on in a usually far inferior manner. He is not liked or trusted one inch outside his own dominion. The vast majority of UK anime fandom refuses to have anything to do with him; I strongly suggest Showmasters takes the same stance.|Jason Craig McCall}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent4">{{quote|I have to say that this man's reputation will ruin Showmasters events.|Luke Nelson}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent5">{{quote|I would prefer not to sign anonymously but as others who have signed this petition have commented Michael Towers has a well established reputation for harassing anyone who voices a negative opinion about his activities. I have traded at an event run by Michael and was horrified both by the lack of basic organisation and his appalling disregard for health and safety. I actively avoid any event he is heavily involved in and I would advise any fellow dealer or member of the community to do the same.|"Concerned Dealer"}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent6">{{quote|This man, frankly, creeps me out. Not someone you want to be associated with.|Gaz Woods}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent7">{{quote|I have little experience with the man, save that when i heard about the manga alliance and asked some simple questions on their forum anime league they were promptly deleted by him and swept under the rug. As a reaction to light questioning , i was not impressed.|James Gammell}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent8">{{quote|We have seen a cavilcad of disasters from this mans involvement with the UK manga scene, along with his intimidation tactics to any who oppose his new manga order, and so support any attempts to remove him from involvement with this fine event. Him not having a thing to do with it can only make it better.|stopsthepwandas}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent9">{{quote|Mike Towers and his associations remind me of a brainwashing Cult, hoping to turn a fun, fan-minded hobby into something it is not. I have been attending events for almost 10 years and have helped run various events as well as act as a voice for a large part of the cosplay community. I regretfully will not attend any Showmasters events while this man is associated with them, and will be unable to encourage members of the Community to attend these events either.|"Concerned voice of the cosplay community"}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent10">{{quote|I've worked with him and his harrassment, he wasn't even meant to be involved with me and yet I couldn't get rid of him He was incredibly rude at the event too.|"Workedwithhim"}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent11">{{quote|You can't spell Fail without AL.|Tomaki}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent11">{{quote|As a Committee member on two conventions, I have experienced first hand Tower's disregard and verbal abuse of a long standing community in his rampage towards some sort of 'Anime League new world order'. I have no affiliation with Showmasters but would fully encourage anyone who wished to bulid up an anime base at their convention to reject Towers and search for more established, organised and well conected promoter such as Sweatdrop or Manga. I am signing this annonymously because I have experience of Towers and his fangirls unpleasant campaigns to anyone who stands against him.|"Concerned Committee Member}}</div>
 
 
<div id="slidePagingContent12">{{quote|He is just plain immature and I am just sick of seeing him try to force his opinions on everyone everywhere.|Eilidh McMillan}}</div>
 
<div id="slidePagingContent13">{{quote|Traded once at an event this man organised, never again. I certainly would not associate with any other event he was heavily involved with again.|"Disgruntled Dealer"}}</div>
 
</div>
 
=7th August 2009: ED Publically Apologises To AnimeLeague And Deletes The AlCon Page=
 
<gallery>
Image:Apology1.jpg
Image:Apology2.jpg
Image:Apology3.jpg
Image:Apology4.jpg
</gallery>
</gallery>


==References==
=External Links=
{{reflist}}
 
*[http://www.alcon.org.uk/ Alcon] Main Site, feel free to troll.
 
*[http://www.animeleague.net/ Anime League Forum] Troll here more, break the precious forum of bile and hate. It will shock absolutely no bugger to learn that it also doubles as Dimensional Entertainment's forum. And ''triples'' as Manga Alliance's.
 
*[http://www.mangaalliance.com/ Manga Alliance] You may be noticing a pattern here. And you'd be ''absolutely fucking right'' an'all. '''''TROLL FOR GREAT JUSTICE!'''''
 
*[http://www.cosplayisland.co.uk/forum?&c=showthread&ThreadID=1315&page=2 Cosplay Island] Towers stumbles spam-fisted into another forum to plug his shizzle, takes a thorough twatting from the regulars, and panics when he realises he can't delete the thread himself. He cries when the mods don't do it for him, instead locking it and deleting the original plug - preserving forever his retardedness for all to see. Best goddamn laugh we've had in ages.
 
*[http://www.urbandictionary.com/ Urban Dictionary]'s definitions of a [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=FreeSaiyan FreeSaiyan], [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mewski Mewski] and [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=AnimeLeague AnimeLeague] (the latter pulls up multiple definitions referring to AL). Vote up moar plz.
 
*[http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=74161&start=640 AnimeLeague again] Oh, they're being beastly to me again. Why can't they see I just want to be the most important person in animu? Come, little girl, stroke my ego a little... it's behind that zip down there...
 
*[https://twitter.com/stopthepwandas Manga Alliance News Twitter] - a twitter feed of the latest Mike Towers/Manga Alliance arse & drama
 
*[http://stopthepwandas.livejournal.com/ Manga Alliance News LJ] - more proof that all drama ends up on [[LiveJournal]]
 
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UNWK1z2mWs FreeSaiyan's Animeleague Christmas Message] The King's rambling 2007 message to his loyal shitehawks - delivered from the most appropriate 'throne' possible. Ask yourself this: Is this babbling fool '''''REALLY''''' fit to serve as a figurehead for the UK manga and anime community? We, and many others, think fucking ''not''.<br>('''''UPDATE:''''' Towers is so obviously proud of his brains spilling out for all to see, the muppet has made the video private. Something to hide, hmm? Something you'd rather the likes of Dimensional and Showmasters didn't see? It would be an awful shame if someone had, say, downloaded the video already...)
 
*[http://www.petitiononline.com/mtshow/petition.html Petition to get FreeSaiyan the fuck away from ShowMaster Events] - The petition is now closed, but ShowMaster want to [http://stopthepwandas.livejournal.com/1460.html hear from you]
 
*[http://bit.ly/FreeMoolah AnimeLeague '''''yet again'''''] Oh go on, be my friend, please. Pwetty pwease wiv a chewwy on top. I’ll give you all my lunch money...
 
*[http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=112703 fAiL Forums: Ann Summers Party] 196 (and, no doubt, counting) posts of pure fucktardedness and douchebaggery…
 


{{Saiyans}}
*'''''[http://www.mcmexpogroup.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=299&t=14959 MCM BANS MICHAEL TOWERS COMPLETELY] Best. Webpage. EVER.'''''
[[Category:Saiyans]]
{{Anime}}
[[Category:Transformations]]
[[Category:Anime]]
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 21:34, 14 October 2018

ZZZZZZZZZZ KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!

This article is TL;DR. You can help by editing this page and removing the large blocks of boring text.
See the style guide for more information.

FreeSaiyan, aka Michael Towers, is the kiddie-fiddling self-invented spamlord of the UK anime scene. A legend amongst scammers, perverts, megalomaniacs and drama queens, he has stalked like a titan from project to crumbling project, flanked by his chittering hangers-on, leaving his taint on everything he has ever touched like a creeping weed that smells of week-old dried-out wanksocks that would, in all likelihood, make even a washing machine fall pregnant if ever they ventured inside its unsuspecting drum.

He is the webmaster of AnimeLeague, chairman of fAiLCon and mastermind of a million zany get-rich-and-famous-quick schemes that made his name like a rash all over the internet and IRL. His level-based pyramid schemes and horde of pre-pubescent girls carrying out harassment campaigns for him have ensured him the title of "The L. Ron Hubbard of Anime."

Hiya girls and boys. Hyuck hyuck. Under 15's only. OM NOM NOM!
"I cut myself shaving! Rawr, I'm tuff! D:" - his own tag, no shizz. Fisher Price razor just out of shot.
Look out kiddies, Pedobear needs your tears for his throne of evil!
One of Mike's favourite all-time Cosplays and paedo mentor. HERE WE ARE CHILDREN, COME INTO MICHAEL'S KIDDIE LAIR CUM GINGERBREAD HOUSE!!

The Man Himself

Freesaiyan is well known among his online community as a paedophile, a power mad nazi, a lazy useless asshole and general all round twunt.

He spends his life struggling to cope with the organisation of his forums and small scale meets. This is made difficult by delusions of grandeur on the one hand and paranoia on the other which, when combined, cause him to imagine that anyone gives enough of a fuck about his tiny empire to be trying to sabotage him at every turn.

FreeSaiyan's hobby is spouting off about the brilliance and success of his convention (ALcon), his club (AnimeLeague) and his work (several terrified naked children locked in a basement). To avoid hurting his feelings, be careful not to point out that he hasn't got a job and lives with his mummy (he's 27). HA HA! Only joking - Mike's feelings are robust to the point of rudely snubbing anyone who tries to try and help him out, pointing out the 13 THOUSAND members of his forum.

There are 139 in the UK. (Or were, at it's peak.)

Helping out with the forums are similarly upstanding folk like yankee Matt Nada, who can usually be found up his own arse writing convincing arguments about anime no one cares about.

His modus operandi is to careen around the forum, swinging his Scythe of Deletion +3 at any post he doesn't like and a Piku Piku Banhammer at those who disagree with him even slightly.

He also bolsters the numbers on the forum by running his 'blog' as a thread in the forum. This forces his Goth Loli groupies have to go into the forum to be able to mess their kecks over his wisdom.

Y Hello Thar, Little Girl

FailCon Mascots ALice and ALex, aka AL-chan and AL-kun. AKA Not Haruhi and Not Kyon.
Nagaru Tanigawa travelled through time to rip off Mike's Original Idea™.

As everyone knows, there's nothing strange about a 28 year old who holding "Meetups" for females under 16 and on some occasion boys (See Picture Below). Don't forget your ID, he needs to clarify that you are officially a child. Yup. It all has to be above board.

In one of his other worrying ventures, a School of Manga, he seriously asked for personal details of mid-teens without so much as a nod in the direction of any possible legal ramifications. He even uses the word "Laws" in quotemarks, as if flaunting his undisguised contempt for them.

   
 
♫♪♬ There's only one Michael Towers / With a packet of crisps / And the cheesiest smile / Michael is a fucking paedophile. ♬♪♫
 

 
 

—AnimeLeague, The Michael Towers Song

The AnimeLeague meets are just official reasons for FreeSaiyan to hook up with anything on legs as long as it's young, innocent and unsuspecting and has consumed enough free alcohol to kill a Beluga whale and pickle its caviar (provided from the meets 'excess', from which he also draws his wages).

A boy is fine too, as in this case at least one of the participants will have balls, not to mention crying hysterically after sex about how THAT DARNED MEWSKI IS TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIM! (despite the fact that if Mewski really were out to get him she could just shop him to Operation Ore for grooming minors).

There are also plans for a Michael Towers shota manga series ever since he experimented with boys at his dark expo hostel disguised as a gingerbread house. (Yet again see above picture).

All things move toward their end, however, and in an attempt to put the "Paedo" part of his PaedoBorg antics behind him he now has wild BDSM forum frottage (on a forum that is meant to be PG13 we might add) with (allegedly) 21 year old forum member Kiko

.

Absolutely nobody will be surprised to learn that "She", if she exists at all, is from Michigan, given (a) The minute proportion of UK-based AL members and (b) What average UK anime fans outside of the forum think of him.

The vomit inducing bios on their combined ALJ forum thread have set off some alarm bells that suggest that this is the usual Mike Towers bullshit train.

   
 
Strengths: Intelligence, Charisma, Loyalty, Courage, Kindness, Selflessness, Insightful, Humour, Organisational/Management Skills and Wit (allegedly), open-minded, extreme resilience (ie: I don't give up), determined, common-sense and logical.

Weaknesses: Apathy, Sadness, Under-Confidence, Social Odd-ball, Fear, Very Poor Relationship Skills with the opposite sex, too-soft.
 


 
 

—We suggest some viagara to help with that "too soft" problem

   
 
Strengths: Honesty, Charisma, Loyalty, Courage, Humor, Playful, Open-Minded, I never give up, Artistic Skills, and above all else Love.

Weaknesses: High Temper, Low Esteem, Odd man out, horrible relationship skills, fear of failure.
 


 
 

—LadyKikos surprisingly similar set of contradicting character traits

All evidence seems to point to the true identity of LadyKiko.

But who knows? maybe Towers has actually managed to bag himself an internet camwhore single mother with whom to play forum BDSM posting ping pong. Or maybe it's all an elaborate ruse to rile up AL's barely pubescent attack dog Fate-chan into a fit of jealous rage (she has been displaying classic signs of butthurt over Towers and Kiko's frottage fest) so that when she finally meets him in person the standard gag reflex on seeing Towers is overcome, and in a surge of mad teen angst butthurt she will attempt to claim her man.

AlCon

AlCon (also known as FailCon and LOLCon) is an animu convention which got off to a roaring start by scheduling itself to clash with AmeCon 2009 in the same city, and refusing to move in an act of brash, assholish grandstanding. Spoiler: nobody turned up.

It was run by a schizophrenic committee, the two "Co-chairs" having just broken up with each other resulting in a screaming hissy fit and one of them being summarily ousted.

Based in the De Montfort University in Leicester (and a pub down the road when they got thrown out), it ran between September 7th and September 9th 2007, and proved to the world that you can't spell convention without CON. Somehow it survived and continues today. And continues to be a shitshow. [1][2]


The Committee

Mewski
FreeSaiyan, chairman Uberreichsfuhrer of AlCon, aka Mike Towers, yesterday. Giggidy Giggidy Goo.

The committee consisted of an ever-changing number of people, but was originally led by the two-headed beast of FreeSaiyan and 'Mewski', who were also screwing each other. Regular readers of these hallowed pages will need no telling that on the internet, this seldom ends well.

Predictably, FreeSaiyan and Mewski broke up, so FreeSaiyan went into in a jealous rage and tried to make Mewski cry by kicking her off the Committee in an act of petty revenge for closing her pool to him. Mewski, who held all the contracts for the event, returned fire by threatening to pull the plug.

The vote to kick her off was held in secret (the sure sign of a committee that isn't falling apart at the seams) and she was finally ejected in a massive, lulz-heavy screaming bitch fight during a committee meeting around May 2007.

What none of them seemed to have considered was that with Mewski gone, nobody was left who had any experience whatsoever running a convention - FreeSaiyan himself isn't even capable of holding down a job, and thinks that running a shitty webforum that he posts in all day is as good as going out and earning a wage like everyone else.

2008 Committee

For 2008, FreeSaiyan needed a plan for getting new staff in. Why call on friends or pay skilled professionals, though, when you can flimflam a bunch of precious hangers-on from your forums into doing it though?

Unluckily for these poor saps he has suckered in, FreeSaiyan constantly bombards them with phone calls, e-mails, PMs and any other form of communcation that he can use to exhort them to do his bidding. ("His bidding" in this case means turning the convention into a gigantic clusterfuck of advertising for the websites he runs.)

THE DRAMAS!!

Mike's typical greeting to the newest under 16 rent boy member kicks off Shagathon 2008.

Shagathons

Every year the is an annual shagathon where the most drugged up, drunk and biggest failures get together to out try and see which couple are best at sex. The roll of on'er (get it?) of Towers' previous frotfests reads as follows...

  1. 2004 - (Held in Women's Toilet) - Winners: McJones and Jade
  2. 2005 - (Held in room 42b) - Winners: no winners, all suffered from premature ejaculation
  3. 2006 - (Held in Women's Toilet) - Winners: Ash and Asana
  4. 2007 - (Held in Games Room) - Winners: Ash and Jenny (Arkio and Asana were later disqualified for faking orgasms)
  5. 2008 - (Held in room 39b) - Winners: To Be Decided!

Ryan Gentle

And we're off to a good start!

The first many heard of Alcon was when Ryan gentle aka Senshimedia e-mailed UK anime dealers claiming to be the AlCon dealer liason. Cue the breaking out of suture kits and surgical tape as those in the UK anime community who know of this lying, scheming, molecule-minded knobend desperately attempted to sew their splitting sides back together.

In a frantic bid to claw back credibility AlCon prepared a press release disassociating themselves with Ryan and making it clear they bought him a one-way ticket to BannedVille. Ryan's reaction? Gun based violence. Best of luck with your next endeavour, m8!

Gamestation

British game store chain Gamestation were reported to have been eager to run the Games Room at AlCon. However when we called the manager of the local GameStation he laughed and claimed to have "Filed their phone number somewhere, probably in the bin".

Midlands MCM Expo

The place of the convention itself

As previously mentioned, the original dates for AlCon clashed with the new Midlands MCM Expo. As not previously mentioned, they tried to reason with AlCon. However, FreeSaiyan decided that the Midlands MCM Expo was out to get them and told them where to shove it.

Unsurprisingly, the staff of Midlands MCM Expo pulled their backing for - and according to the ever-lulzworthy Ryan, AlCon became a banned word on the MCM Expo forums.

AmeCon 2007

In an attempt to consolidate their atrocious attendance figures, some of the committee set up a registration desk at AmeCon'07 in the, er, Bring and Buy Room.

Despite strict instructions not to harass AmeCon attendees, the people "Running" the desk employed what can only be described as barrow-boy tactics, venturing out into corridors and haranguing anyone that ventured within half a light year of the Bring and Buy Room, including AmeCon committee members, one of whom was collared at least three times.

Furthermore, despite the promise of live-action fanservice in the less-than-appealing shape of a topless female (Washu), they actually ended up worse off than when they started.

Alcon's "Dealer room" LET THE SELLINGZ COMMENCE!... oh, hang on, where's everyone's stuff gone...?"

Total registrations: Zero

Total cancellations: One

Mission...... Well and truly FAILED

Event stealing

It was already well known that AlCon were only out to steal events from other, more established conventions to fund their own pockets and as a vain attempt to claw back what they were set to lose.

This was even more evident when, while trying to browbeat AmeCon members into signing up, they managed to poach one of the long time standing guests of AmeCon - Japanese culture expert and all round very nice person Akemi Solloway.

This must have been done on the quiet, because otherwise the AmeCon staff would have both (a) jumped on the surreptitious little twats and turfed them out on their arses a damn sight sooner and (b) let poor, credulous Akemi know what she was letting herself in for.

The full thread, the near-total lack of enthusiasm and the surprising absence of posts saying "Hold up, wasn't she at AmeCon?" can be seen here.

Committee Confusion

   
 
I have never been or ever will be committee member for alcon. As of a few months ago I now no longer have any relations with mike towers or manga alliance. The advertising I have done for Alcon has been removed from all the places they have been posted and I hope that if there are any copies of anything I have done for alcon they need to be Burned and forgoten about.
 

 
 

—Sakuraslight

TL;DR: Every time drama erupts, someone else is mysteriously vanished from the committee roster, as if they never existed. Eerie.

Registration Count

Alcon in full swing...

At the end of June 2007, the membership had climbed to an epic 96 paid members (88 if you discount the committee). At under 30% of capacity, things got so bad that FreeSaiyan was reduced to sending out email missives to all his forum pals encouraging them to sign up.

The pitch, astonishingly, was that registrations for the doomed convention are going so fast that they would close by the end of July 2007.

Pfffffffff.

Dealers' Room

In perhaps the jewel in the crown of AlCon's complete and total incompetence, the dealers turned up to find a Dealers' Room that was both (a) unguarded and (b) unlocked. That's right folks, the Dealers' Room was left COMPLETELY UNSECURED and without a single soul around to protect it from thieving little fucktards.

Many a dealer has sworn never to have anything to do with future conventions 'run' by A.L. on the back of this.

Breach of Copyright

Nuh-uh-uh... crying "fair use" wont cover this. Hello, is that Clamp's legal representatives...?

For 2009, those naughty chaps have been using a trademarked character - Kero from Card Captor Sakura - to lure in new marks. Happily, as the convention is a commercial venture, this doesn't even live in the same area code as "Fair use."

Curiously, his precious "Pwanda" mascot isn't the creature on the page. Perhaps he finally realised it was a pile of shit. Or maybe Pwanda hasn't been putting out lately.

The Convention Itself

Events and guests promised for AlCon, circa 2007. Can YOU spot the differences, boys and girls?
Harpoons!!!It seems this pirate has caught whale!

The convention was set to run up to about 7pm each evening... at which point everyone was be kicked out of the main University and all of the "300" members were to head to a pub down the road where all the evening events were meant to happen.

According to the publicity, this car-crash of an event was to feature a DJ. The DJ in question was supplied by the bar and didn't play any slitty-eyed music at all. Cue a bunch of pissed-off Weeaboos having to spend four hours listening to Britshite that college kids like.

Posted before the con by FreeSaiyan himself on the AnimeLeague Forums was this lovely list of reasons why people should have attended AlCon.

1. We're all friendly and down to Earth. Probably the friendliest convention in the UK. (Note that he wouldn't know as he hasn't been to a single convention, or had a single friend. Besides which, you'd think the friendlier ones would have committee meetings rather than committee fucking screaming matches.)

2. Anime Bar! In addition to everything else, we have a bar with anime on the big screens! Relax, and have a few drinks! (A sad attempt to put positive spin on the fact that everything shuts down at seven, and they force everyone into a shitty English pub. Oh, sorry, if you're under 18 that means LOL BUTTHURT FOR YOU!)

3. NOT just anime! We have rooms for Video Gamers, Roleplayers, Artists, and much more! Even if you aren't a huge anime fan, you'll have a great time! ("Hey, Mike. I thought we were an anime convention?" "Shut up! We still have to sell another 220 places to get my- I mean our money back!")

4. Attention to detail. Since we're relatively small (300 people), we can put in the time to ensuring you get an amazing convention experience! We'll put in the effort for you. (Remember that guy who said that hell was being trapped in a room with all your friends? Well, if they can't be fucking civil in committee meetings, we can only speculate how much lulz will ensue on a weekend when they actually have to do some work.)

5. So much for cosplayers! Cosplay Masquerade, cosplay blind-date and so much more planned! (Cosplay blind date? "So much for cosplayers" indeed.)

The only guy who had fun at the con, due to being fisted.

6. Awesome guests. So far we have Dave Cheung of the awesome Chugworth Academy webcomic, and MasakoX of the incredibly popular Naruto Abridged series. More guests to come!

(WEBcomic artist whose WEBcomic hasn't even been on the fucking WEB for months, and the guy who does the unbearable shitty knockoff of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged... joooooooooooooy. Note: Still more interesting than meeting shit American voice-actors at Amecon)

7. We're very CHEAP! Only £30 entry. AND, if you need a place to stay, you can stay at the Halls of Residence (3 minutes walk away) for just over £50 for three nights. We're one of the cheapest conventions in the UK! (Actually, this one is almost true - but they probably don't mean the same sense of CHEAP! as we do. But then again, you get what you pay for. By AlCon's standards, you could hold an "Anime convention" in your bathroom by drawing frames from Naruto on the wall in your own urine for FREE!)

8. Dealers! An entire room to buy the kind of items you'd not normally be able to find in the shops! (With Ryan as the original dealer liaison, this is bound to be a success!!!! We can't wait!!!! And of course you can't normally find this kind of tat in the shops - especially if you're looking in a fucking grocery shop. But they are right with the drugs that are sold, you can't find them in the shops.)

9. We love to party! Pub Quiz, J-Party, AMV Night, and much more lined up! (All in the bar! Wow, that bar is starting to sound kind of full, huh? Of course, they haven't contacted any of the people who have experience of running events like this, so you can look forward to a bunch of dorks trying to figure out how to connect a laptop to a TV while everyone else counts the ceiling tiles.)

10. We have an amazing online community. Just go visit the animeleague forums and get to know us today! (Another ploy to get people to join FreeSaiyan's community, where 90% of members aren't even from the UK, and the UK section is just filled with gruesome Drama.)

Post Con

Visuel Kei from the UK... Lets gloss over the fact it's a japanese movement shall we
What the fuck do these guys have to do with anime?

As soon as FailCon was over, the reports started coming in hard and fast with such comments as "All we could do is stand around" and "The MCM Expo is alot better than AlCon" rapidly appearing.

Some from "helpers" on the day, specifically the long ditched Mewski, who tried to help out the convention despite warnings from everyone that FreeSaiyan would just abuse her, and promptly proved them all right. This included the borrowing of everything she owned, as FailCon had not even considered bringing any equipment with them, and also the fact that the dealers still considered Mewski to be the chair of the con.

As predicted by all who had even the slightest semblance of a clue, the convention was a complete failure.

2009 Convention

Much to the amusement of all, fAiLcon keeps crawling along like a half dead dog waiting for someone to put it out of its misery. Despite its second run in 2008 repeating nearly all the mistakes of its 2007 outing, the slack jawed nitwits that occupy the AL forum continue to pay to attend, little realising that there is a whole host of better run events up and down the country they could spend their parents' hard earned money on.

These idiots - combined with first time congoers who don't know any better (and who never make the mistake of going to fAiLcon again afterwards) - allow Towers to continue his sorry little wankfest and pay for the sort of A list guests and entertainment making an appearance at this year's train wreck.

So far we have a UK Visual Kei band no one has heard of who claim they will "Rip down the walls between Eastern and Western music and lead a Visual Kei revolution the world over." How they intend to do this by playing at an anime convention where everyone is well aware of Visual Kei is anyones guess. Shit though they are, they do at least have some kind of tenuous link to Japan; more than can be said for the second BIG act Towers has lined up.

Skull Branded Pirates... Now, while this author stands by the solid concept of a thrash metal pirate band, we fail to see what this has to do with an anime convention. Towers probably justifies their inculsion due to fAiLcons "Clan" system (an idea ruthlessly stolen from Tokonatsu) which includes pirates as one of the clans.

Our condolences go out to the Skull Branded Pirates who obviously have no clue as to what they have been suckered into and upon realising their error they live up to their pirate name and keelhaul Towers from the front of their van as they rape and pillage the rotting carcass that is fAiLcon.

JapAnime Network / Manga Alliance / Fail-Expo (AKA Towers' New Masterplan)

Christ Towers, saviour of the UK anime scene. Oft can the mantra "Oh Christ, It's Towers" be heard ringing round other events. Hallelujah, Mein Führer!

FreeSaiyan's latest venture into the rarefied air of Lulzland is a laughable attempt to become the PaedoBorg of the UK anime community. (Yes, he will assimilate your kids with Rohypnol flavoured cookies.)

Around the middle of March 2009, various members of UK anime convention committees received an email from MISTER Towers bringing the JapAnime Network to their attention. The aim of the network is to "get beyond the credit crunch" - strangely, he doesn't go into much detail at that point (it shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that he votes Conservative, as that’s pretty much what the Tory Party’s policies were at the 2010 UK General Election - and scarily, they still ended up in power) - and unify the entire UK anime scene into one glorious whole.

With one glorious hole sitting at the head of it all.

With this in place, his fantasy continues with everyone "Helping one another through combined resources and expertise" and "Expanding what we have and building a better future for everybody in and outside of the industry."

Read: because everyone worth a damn in the scene has his address spam-filtered, he wants everyone else to do his donkeywork and spam FOR him, and thus he will ascend to his rightful place as TEH MAN of anime in the UK.

Make no mistake, Michael Towers is not in this for the good of the UK anime industry - he is in it for Michael Towers, and for Michael Towers alone.

All he wants the people he's contacted to do is:

  • Give him all their contacts so he can buttspam them to oblivion
  • Plaster his shit mascot logo, Pwanda the typo Panda, all over the fucking joint - even on official con merch (it is rumored that Pwanda is an excuse for Mike to dress up in a costume and approach young children more easily)
  • Whore his lackeys' tat as promotional items
  • Inform him of any promotional campaigns the event might run, so he can steal the idea and use it himself advise further and give useful input
  • Give him your undying support and adulation as the brain behind it all
  • Don't go talking to each other without him being told about it because that would make him cry
  • ...oh, and your daughter looks pretty fit too... she is under 16, isn't she...

The established anime conventions of the UK took one look at this and promptly burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. When they eventually regained composure, the general consensus was "Oh, for the love of all that is even semi-holy, will this spacker EVER just fuck the cunting shit right off?!"

What Towers can't get through his inch-thick skull and into his bubblegum brain is that there is absolutely no need in the UK anime scene for such an organisation, because the anime conventions largely get along just fine with each other anyway. From MinamiCon to Auchinawa, AmeCon to Tokonatsu, AyaCon to Tomodachi, the committees have friends across the board, and help each other out when their events run as it is.

Some even have committee members who are also on another event's committee, so they have links that way as well. Even if there was a requirement for this, they wouldn't touch a thing that Towers has had his mitts on with some bugger else's barge pole.

The only thing of his they do want to touch is his face. With a baseball bat. Freshly nailed. And even then, they'd burn the bat afterward.

At events following the announcement of the JapAnime Network, committee members have, you know, "Networked" with members of other committees to have a pint, chuckle at the proposal, and, you know, "Help one another through combined resources and expertise. "And they did it all without his "Help" too. Funny that.

Undeterred, Towers has garnered some support - Alcon and AnimeLeague jumped at the chance to join such a forward-thinking venture, which is absolutely nothing to do with the fact that both of those shitholes are his own wall-eyed, eleven-toed children as well. He sucked enough cock at Delusional Dimensional Entertainment, another body famed for their interesting ways of doing things, and CollectorMania have also added themselves to the list. Along with this came a rebrand - the Japanime Network became the Manga Alliance.

Possibly funniest is that even Towers admits the alliance is bullshit, as can be seen in the following lolworthy quote from his own forum (which he has since naturally deleted lest his horrifying hypocrisy be revealed to all; fortunately someone has screen capped it for prosperity.)

   
 
Sad thing is that Manga Alliance isn't really all that important anymore. It's detractors made the original concept unworkable by virtue that their immature and overblown initial reaction to it effectively split the UK community in half. Since then we re-worked the concept to focus more on bringing anime and manga to new events (and indeed helping new events out). From this new premise we are seeing radical change such as London Film & Comic Con agreeing to take us on to see a massive expansion of anime and manga.

Yet what I term the "elitists" have outright ignored this change, preferring to try and pretend that we are still trying to "unite the community". They're doing this to try and make us look blind and dogmatic. They are trying to make us look like morons.

Sadly this is generally how these people work.
 


 
 

—Mike Towers whom, lest we forget, everyone is still out to get

Ignoring for the moment the fact that A) Mike needs nobody to try to make him look like a moron and that B) There is no need for a networking club for an industry that already has excellent channels of communication, the Alliance was (and still is) a ridiculously obvious marketing tool for Dimensional Entertainment.

Mike forcing Sexual Harassment Pwanda onto his meet-ups. Grope grope. No self-promoting going on here, move along now, nothing to see...

A quick tip for the fucktards behind this bullshit: if you're trying to sell something as representative of the whole UK, plastering your companies flagship character over everything is not the way to do it (Especially when the Panda is the national animal of China dipshits).

FYI, the concept has not been "Re-worked" at all. All the drivel on the Alliance site is still about getting through the credit crunch and sharing resources, so why Towers is so surprised that "Elitists" (i.e. anyone who has half braincell and can therefore see right through him) are ignoring him I don't know.

Flushed with such success, Towers then went on to tread on even more toes - specifically, those of MCM Expo. His delusions of grandeur led him to propose a rival Expo event that's "Fresh" and "The place to be".

You see, MCM can only afford guests like the cast of Heroes and scenery like the actual Ecto-1 from Ghostbusters. Mike knows better, and is presumably in negotiations with the author of My Immortal and the guy who wrote the Twilight flash game.

Encyclopedia Dramatica wishes them the organisers of MCM every success in giving the little fucktard a hearty kicking.

UPDATE: Towers actually had the front to turn up to the MCM in May 2009, and was shortly afterward ejected. The circumstances surrounding his GTFOing are unknown, but he is now trying to pretend it didn't happen.

See here for Mike and Dimensional Enterfailment Entertainment's attempt to defend their utter bullshit "Manga" and fail for epic lulz - Shit Manga wannabe

Team Dimension

As part of his continuing drive to force himself on the UK anime community like Gary Glitter on a Vietnamese school child, Towers in partnership with Dimensional Entertainment has also formed an online unofficial art school (so not really a school at all then) for the AL forums called Team Dimension.

The aim of this is to apparently turn the retarded spunktards who infest this forum into elite manga making teams. This is presumably so Towers can get someone to make a manga series based round himself that depicts him in a world where being an unemployed failure who lives with his mum and runs poorly organised conventions made up of ideas stolen from other, better run events is something to be proud of.

The scheme has a five level program (hmmm, think I heard something like this before, only less sinister) that is apparently designed to help people work up from the skill level of a talentless monkey smearing shit on the wall to a fully fledged manga-ka.

Feel free to laugh at the levels on the link forum post as ED now presents a more accurate interpretation:

Level 1: Entry/Portfolio

No drawing required (pretty fucking odd for an art school) you’re just required to learn the correct approach which is to bend over and let Towers and Dimensional fuck you in the ass.

Level 2: Building your style

Having determined what style you like to be fucked in Team Dimension will educate you on what the professional Team Dimension standard is. As it turns out, it's to draw and write shitty manga that no high street store will stock.

Level 3: Team Building

Team Dimension will try to put you into artistic teams, but won’t be able to because you like everyone else in this ponzi scheme wants to be an artist too. Acting like a proper artist and working through jobs such as inker, toner or letterer sounds to much like hard work to you.

Level 4: Formalising Teams

If we somehow manage to cobble together a group of people that can manage to draw something that doesn’t look like a syphilis ridden whore took a shit on a pizza then we get you to work on magazine adverts and on projects for game and toy companies. Well, we would, if we actually had any industry links or paid commission work beyond making our shitty Pwanda manga (for which you will not be paid).

Level 5: Professional Production

If somehow you and your team mates have accidentally picked up the skills that allow you to produce a professional product that people might want to buy we automatically own all rights and royalties. Then, having screwed you like a cheap whore we’ll wipe our dick clean on your leg and leave you in a puddle made of your broken dreams and raped childhood.

Even Mike himself doesn't know how many people, if any, would make it to level 5 [3], but rest assured this isn't is a total scam to get free artwork from artists. Note: Nobody has discussed the requirements to move up from level 4 to level 5, meaning that teams will forever be stuck at level 4, with a likely excuse being "Your artwork is good, but just not good enough to make into a professional manga". If a team should protest against this decision, that team will just be told that they can make dojinshi.

Cosplay Island

The nice folk at Cosplay Island given Mike a head start in their forums, but questioned the need for, and legality of, taking the personal details of under-16s in his School of Manga failure - a question that Comrade Mikhail Andreievich Towerski swung the banhammer at the questioner for.

When he realised that this wasn't actually his forum, he ran whining to the moderators that the nasty people were being not very nice to him and to delete the thread. They refused - instead deleting the spam-post he placed there for his Fail-Expo, leaving the resultant (and thoroughly deserved) shitstorm of abuse in a locked thread as a warning from history.

FreeSaiyan's latest paranoid delusion is that those who posted in the thread are the same ones who wrote this section of the page. After having his e-penis laughed at, he bleated out this brainfart on his own forum, and had his ego massaged by the liquid-minded spacktards therein, as they licked his arse and called it chocolate. They then went forth and proclaimed e-fatwas on his behalf on various forums and blog posts that criticise their God and his glorious work.

   
 
Al is a great place where you can meet new people who also like anime and also go to conventions {having not been one yet myself} If you have any problems with AL why don’t you start slagging my forums off aswell, Mike put alot of hard work into AL, and kept the community growing, I don’t care if you all just call me a ‘kid’ but I’ll have you know I myself create forums so stop slagging AL off, it doesn’t deserve it...

Mike just helps others forget about their childhood, create a new life, and trust other people, I beg of you please remove this blog, please.
 


 
 

—Blog "replies" from AL attack dog Fate-chan, stopping herself just before she mentioned Jesus Juice

So you've never been to a convention, but you create forums yourself, hmm...? Sounds like you want to be Towers yourself, Fate-chan; that's exactly how he started on his megalomaniacal path...

The tragic thing is, it's quite simply not true. The simple truth is that NO FUCKER who's been in the UK anime, manga, cosplay, gaming, and Japanese culture communities for anything more than half a femtosecond, likes Michael Towers, his squadron of llamas and the drama they spread at the slightest whine from their leader. Anyone with an IQ of more than one digit wouldn't trust him to run a fucking bath, never mind any (dis)organisation like this.

However, now back in his comfort zone and not liking the way things were going for him, he has now decided to pretend it never happened, deleting his own AL posts accusing Cosplay Island members of updating here. We, however, know the truth, and await his next drama-generating lump of faeces with great languor and detestation.

AnimeLeague Club London

When you're even making anime characters react like this, surely you can see it's time to hang it up. Can't you?

Said turd of fail did not take very long at all to arrive. Spamming sections of anime forums designated no-spam zones (does he ever fucking learn?!), Towers plugged the AnimeLeague Club London, a one-day event which is to be held at the Slug And Lettuce in America Square in the heart of London, mid-November.

If this sounds a lot like the London Anime Club did to you, you'd be right - for it is the exact same venue the LAC ran at. He's basically ripped off the entire format of LAC and claimed it as his own.

Here comes Katch - better nail everything down, motherfucker...

The announcement of fAiLCL (as it is already being called) generated the usual amount of lulz, especially when posted in the MinamiCon forums. Many of the people behind MinamiCon also ran LAC, which discontinued its regular events at the end of 2008 due to dwindling numbers over the years.

Despite this, Towers seems to believe he'll be able to get 400 people in for this, promising "Dealers, video gaming, anime screening, an Artist Alley, DDRing, roleplaying, card-gaming, along with many events such as a masquerade, pub-quiz, parties, special guests... and much more!".

The problem here is, being an 18+ event held in a bar, many (read: all) of his pubescent spacktard groupies won't be able to get in. For added drama (as if it were needed), the Para-Para obsessed collective Roppongi Street will be attendance, including in their number a known thief, vandal and troublemaker by the name of Max "Katch" Beckwith ➤, who has already been permabanned from many an event for being an out-and-out cunt.

Beyond that, Towers' reputation already comes caked in so much shit you can smell him from the other side of the city, so anyone who's anyone in UK anime fandom won't be going anywhere near. Not on the day, at least - they'll likely be having a word with the Slug staff to borrow the CCTV footage afterwards for a good laugh.

Chatroom Parties

Towers has recently started spamming all of his mindless minions about some sort of a "Chatroom party" which is where everyone, erm, piles in the IRC channel and, erm, you know, types. The whole idea screams RTS (Real-Time Spamming), which is of course par for the course - it's the original Towers Wet Dream. Here is a copy of the email:

Hi There! ^_^
Are you bored this summer? Got nothing to do? 
Never fear, come to our chatroom party! It will take place on Sunday 26th
July and will run from 7PM to midnight GMT (2pm to 7pm EST) in the AL
chatroom and everyone will be invited (whether they're on AL or not)!
We will be running events, contests, our anime radio station (plenty of
music to listen to!) and generally having fun throughout the evening. You
can read up more about it at
http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=88801
To join the chatroom, simply click on the chat link on the Animeleague
forums. The direct link to the chatroom is
http://www.animeleague.net/forums/chat.php We can also be reached on mirc
via irc.synirc.net and on the #animeleague channel. ^_^
See you there! 
Animeleague Staff

"Are you bored this summer? Got nothing to do?" How about you sit hunched in front of your computer for 5 hours watching a wall of piss, arse, wank and drama scroll up the screen, instead of doing something infinitely more productive."

More on this as it develops.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!

You wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang, You wanna be in my gang - FUCK NO!

It is quite clear that FreeSaiyan's favourite food is spam - he seems to live on absolutely nothing else. To the right there is his most recent command to the shitehawks on the AnimeLeague page on Facebook. The Führer's quite obviously not content with fucking off the UK anime scene, so now he's going after everyone else too...

Also on the 14th/15th May 2009, Mr Towers decided to become Nigerian and send everyone in the UK a special email invitation, here is what it says -

Hey, Fellow Otaku! o_o; (Noticed you around online) 
I was going through some anime boards and I noticed your name there. 
So I thought that I'd send you an invite to our community! ^_^
It's located at http://www.animeleague.net/forums . We're a friendly and 
slightly insane community that caters for anime, artists, roleplaying, 
general off topicness/randomness, entertainment, cosplaying and meetups. 
I feel that you'd fit in really well there, so would you like to come 
along and check us out? ^^
Also, and just as importantly (!), I want to invite you to the clan I 
have on there for British  people, and is called Anglo-Revolution. It's 
in the ClanNation section, and the link to it is 
http://www.animeleague.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=35215  
Clans are a great way to get easily involved and jump in. ^_^
I'm also on AIM. My AIM name is FreeSaiyan
My msn name is [email protected]
I do not check my email much, so if you wish to reply, then you're more 
likely to get a response  if you either IM me, or register on the boards 
and PM FreeSaiyan on there.
Thanks, hope to see you around! ^_^

Can you spot the spamtarget, kiddies? I wonder how he'd react to his own treatment...? I'm sure he'd like it.

Alternatively, we would recommend following this link to make a formal complaint under the Data Protection Act.

Bribery, Spying, Interrogation & Hypocrisy

In the latest episode of A Certain Saiyantific Failgun, Mikey-Boy has decided to turn his whole fucking forum base into shills to pull unsuspecting retards into his little online circle-jerk, artificially inflating his e-penis even further. The plan is that for every new member that an existing one (let’s call them Fucktard A) gets to join up, said Fucktard gets 500 internets. If, one month later, Spacker B is still on the board and has posted more than 50 times, an additional 500 internets are added to Fucktard A’s account, magically generating £1 ($1.50 US) of IRL moneyz out of thin air. Towers will allegedly stump up via PayPal when they hit £3, and says he is not taking advantage of this scheme himself - probably because he’ll be scamming something even bigger on the back of it.

Surely Question One that any individual with even half an ounce of conscious, rational thought in their heads would be asking is: where is the money coming from? It sure as fuck isn’t coming from the proceeds from FailCon. Having failed to fully book-out the 700 places the con has set, a measly 56 (barely 11%) of those who have signed up have put their money where the drama is. Other, not to mention bigger, conventions in the UK book up rock solid inside 2 weeks to more than double the figure that FailCon’10 has - the difference being that their members actually pay up. You can guarantee, for example, that 2011’s MinamiCon 17 will be half-full by the Sunday of MinamiCon 16, which takes place in April 2010.

The whole ‘deal’ was greeted by the UK anime community with no small amount of hilarity, as Towers has once again opened his swing-top nut, displaying to the masses the rattling, pea-sized amount of matter he contains therein. Someone else must have borrowed his single functioning braincell when this stratagem was brewed up, as true to form, it’s made of solid 24-carat FAIL. Only a complete molecule-mind would go so far as to, let’s face it, BRIBE people to encourage others to use his forums, and do so with such a hypocritical goal as to make sure people keep posting to his wanky little cyber-spunkfest. For an individual who is renowned as THE single least-posting member of any forum outside of his own - why, if not for his shamelessly self-promoting spam and whiny, retro-perambulating defence posts, he probably wouldn’t be posting elsewhere at all - to start asking others to keep posting in his forum in such a fashion is duplicity worthy of GLaDOS herself. Furthermore, claiming to crack down on those using proxies, when he has such a fetishistic love of using them himself - witness his futile attempts to defile this page - denotes such a neck of shining brass pound-shop gold paint, giraffes look on in envy. As if that were not enough, he’s also going to be spying on new members that signed up by this hare-brained initiative, and interrogating them, as this quote suggests...:

   
 
We will PM members and check you bought them...
 

 
 

—Oh, never was a slip so Freudian... People are not a commodity, Mike, they certainly don’t like being BOUGHT. They won’t be keen on having their integrity questioned like that either. Hell of a way to drive people away. Just an FYI...


2010 Update

Following multiple attemps to derail both this page and its talk page on ED by various Hogwarts-obsessed minions, spackers and sock-puppets, this EDitor has gained permission from a mod to update with happenings as of mid-August 2010. Strap yourselves into the LOLlercoaster, everyone - here we fucking well go...

Spam Lords Are From Gallifrey Too!

Towers is now fucking with time as well as the anime scene. Apparently the next fAiLCL will be a full day event - which he classes with his very next spack-out as mid-day to midnight. It seems there are is now a new timezone that spins twice as fast as the rest of the planet, making one full day go by in a mere 12 hours. This is entirely plausible, though, as Towers’ gargantuan ego is enormous enough to generate its own gravity field, likely causing a slingshot effect to make him travel faster than shite, enabling him to really believe all the fucked-up drama he spins.

This EDitor wouldn’t put it past Towers to try and claim FailCon 2010 is the country’s first SIX-DAY anime con on the back of this.

Also, completing the ninja-ing of the original (and STILL best) London Anime Club, universally referred to in the UK anime community as LAC, Towers now calls this blatant knock-off the London Anime Con. Flyers seen in Orbital post-Expo confirm this. Plagiaristic fuck.

NemaCon

In other convention news, rookie event NemaCon, based in Middlesbrough Town Hall, Teesside, severed all ties with Towers after he waded in spam-fisted again, claiming that it was a convention being organised by AnimeLeague. In reality, it was organised in conjunction with Middlesbrough borough council. Whether the council was pointed in the direction of this page is unknown, but if not, there can be no doubt that they’d have cut links a damn sight faster if they had been.

The Banhammer Backfires

Towers was finally subjected to a taste of his own medicine in the wake of the 2010 MCM Expo, held at the London ExCeL at the end of May. Weaseling his way into the position of an admin on the MCM Facebook page, he asked the head admin whether he could make a post there. Said admin didn’t ask what the nature of the post was. Biiiiiiig mistake.

The post turned out to be more Towers spam about his own crappy events, flung forth with wild abandon and sticking to inboxes belonging to members of that page like shit on velcro. Being posted in this way, it appeared as if it had come from MCM themselves. This was something that angered many, and led to a thread on the MCM Forums filled with lulz and drama. Being a thread that is not AL-based, it remains there for people to PTSL at, with only Towers’ retarded attempts to defend himself (despite being told multiple times to fuck off) being pruned. The thread in question is 7 pages long, so it may be a bit TL;DR for some, but it is well worth the read. The upshot of all this, though, is that Mike Towers has been completely, irreversably banhammered from anything that MCM runs: forums, Expos, any other events. He can’t deny it anymore.

• cue Land Of Hope And Glory •

Things That Go Buzz In The Shite

Doctors in ED’s Health Research Department have finally discovered conclusive proof that Fucktarditis is contagious. Some attendees of fAiLcon 2010 seem to have succumbed to this condition, having caught it from their feckless fearless leader, and are organising, of all things, AN ANN SUMMERS PARTY. For those outside of the UK who may not be aware of this particular company, Ann Summers is a cheap and nasty chain of high-street sex shops, which entices the hairy-palmed masses through its doors with promises of tacky costumes and lingerie, lotions, potions and various battery-operated devices meant for insertion in various bodily orifices. Also available in sa(i)d emporia is pornography, but the tameness of the material on show means it is barely deserving of such a description; certainly nothing is on offer that’s going to trouble the veritable yottabytes of grot which the Interweb can and does deliver in abundance without so much as breaking a sweat.

An Ann Summers party usually involves a gaggle of cackling harridans gathered round a selection of these products, getting drunker by the second as they pour ever stronger substances down their basic drains, shrieking with shrill laughter as they peruse the assembled items. However, given the nature of fAiLcon gatherings (see Shagathons above), your humble EDitor has a strong hunch that this party won’t end there. The suspicion is that an orgy soaked to the *cough* bone with drama (and other substances of a dubious nature) will ensue, with attendees likening the real-feel silicone contraptions (batteries not included, but supplied in copious numbers, one would wager) to a tentacle or two, and subsequently re-enacting various scenes from tasteful anime classic Urotsukidōji: Legend of the Overfiend.

There is a thread in the fAiL forums which is homing in on 200 posts regarding this little soirée, and still hasn’t been stomped as a REALLY FUCKING BAD IDEA - and to complete the diagnosis of Fucktarditis, these simpletons even have set up their own Facebook page to spread their diarrhoea-brained asshattery ever further. As the particularly disturbing icing on a cake we only wish was a total fucking lie, there seem to be individuals signed up to it of both genders.

Leicester’s De Montfort University, the regular venue for fAiLcon (when it doesn’t chuck everyone out and make them decamp to a pub down the road) may or may not have been informed of these plans - we are trying to confirm this. And if it transpires they don’t know - well... public duty and all that *cough* jizz, you know?

2018 Update

AlCon 2018 was so bad that the attendees were chanting about Mike being a nonce, and making art with glowsticks calling him a pedo. What a fucking shitshow.

Quote Goldmine

Prev Quote | Next Quote

   
 
I have been aware of this person's movements for some time now. I feel his imposition into the anime community has shadowed other long standing, non-benefiting and hard working people. He is a self serving glory seeker, aiming not to improve or serve the animation industry and fans in the UK, but to franchise it by plastering his 'mascot' (a panda with a bandana and dyslexia) over events which he has no intention of enhancing. Please be wary of Mike Towers, his reputation will only damage your event.
 

 
 

—Bryan MacDowall

   
 
Michael Towers has taken credit for things he obviously had no hand in creating (such as the entire LFCC), and backed out of obligated events (Dimensional Manga's panels).
 

 
 

—Wayne Pearce

   
 
Towers is a self-serving, power-mad, tyrannical, babbling idiot with severe delusions of grandeur. He cannot & WILL not deliver on his overblown promises. He lies, cheats & avoids responsibility when he can to weasel out of any hole he digs himself into; when he can't, he'll either ignore criticism within his own little fiefdom or whine about things outside of it. He WILL expect people to drop what they're doing INCLUDING day jobs to do all his work for him (not lifting a finger himself) & try to take all the credit and/or profit - he has crowed about the latter in the past openly, in front of those he took monetary advantage of. He DOES back-stab and spread poison against anyone he takes even a slight dislike to, and tries to destroy their own good works by taking them head-on in a usually far inferior manner. He is not liked or trusted one inch outside his own dominion. The vast majority of UK anime fandom refuses to have anything to do with him; I strongly suggest Showmasters takes the same stance.
 

 
 

—Jason Craig McCall

   
 
I have to say that this man's reputation will ruin Showmasters events.
 

 
 

—Luke Nelson

   
 
I would prefer not to sign anonymously but as others who have signed this petition have commented Michael Towers has a well established reputation for harassing anyone who voices a negative opinion about his activities. I have traded at an event run by Michael and was horrified both by the lack of basic organisation and his appalling disregard for health and safety. I actively avoid any event he is heavily involved in and I would advise any fellow dealer or member of the community to do the same.
 

 
 

—"Concerned Dealer"

   
 
This man, frankly, creeps me out. Not someone you want to be associated with.
 

 
 

—Gaz Woods

   
 
I have little experience with the man, save that when i heard about the manga alliance and asked some simple questions on their forum anime league they were promptly deleted by him and swept under the rug. As a reaction to light questioning , i was not impressed.
 

 
 

—James Gammell

   
 
We have seen a cavilcad of disasters from this mans involvement with the UK manga scene, along with his intimidation tactics to any who oppose his new manga order, and so support any attempts to remove him from involvement with this fine event. Him not having a thing to do with it can only make it better.
 

 
 

—stopsthepwandas

   
 
Mike Towers and his associations remind me of a brainwashing Cult, hoping to turn a fun, fan-minded hobby into something it is not. I have been attending events for almost 10 years and have helped run various events as well as act as a voice for a large part of the cosplay community. I regretfully will not attend any Showmasters events while this man is associated with them, and will be unable to encourage members of the Community to attend these events either.
 

 
 

—"Concerned voice of the cosplay community"

   
 
I've worked with him and his harrassment, he wasn't even meant to be involved with me and yet I couldn't get rid of him He was incredibly rude at the event too.
 

 
 

—"Workedwithhim"

   
 
You can't spell Fail without AL.
 

 
 

—Tomaki

   
 
As a Committee member on two conventions, I have experienced first hand Tower's disregard and verbal abuse of a long standing community in his rampage towards some sort of 'Anime League new world order'. I have no affiliation with Showmasters but would fully encourage anyone who wished to bulid up an anime base at their convention to reject Towers and search for more established, organised and well conected promoter such as Sweatdrop or Manga. I am signing this annonymously because I have experience of Towers and his fangirls unpleasant campaigns to anyone who stands against him.
 

 
 

—"Concerned Committee Member


   
 
He is just plain immature and I am just sick of seeing him try to force his opinions on everyone everywhere.
 

 
 

—Eilidh McMillan

   
 
Traded once at an event this man organised, never again. I certainly would not associate with any other event he was heavily involved with again.
 

 
 

—"Disgruntled Dealer"

7th August 2009: ED Publically Apologises To AnimeLeague And Deletes The AlCon Page

External Links

  • Alcon Main Site, feel free to troll.
  • Anime League Forum Troll here more, break the precious forum of bile and hate. It will shock absolutely no bugger to learn that it also doubles as Dimensional Entertainment's forum. And triples as Manga Alliance's.
  • Manga Alliance You may be noticing a pattern here. And you'd be absolutely fucking right an'all. TROLL FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
  • Cosplay Island Towers stumbles spam-fisted into another forum to plug his shizzle, takes a thorough twatting from the regulars, and panics when he realises he can't delete the thread himself. He cries when the mods don't do it for him, instead locking it and deleting the original plug - preserving forever his retardedness for all to see. Best goddamn laugh we've had in ages.
  • AnimeLeague again Oh, they're being beastly to me again. Why can't they see I just want to be the most important person in animu? Come, little girl, stroke my ego a little... it's behind that zip down there...
  • FreeSaiyan's Animeleague Christmas Message The King's rambling 2007 message to his loyal shitehawks - delivered from the most appropriate 'throne' possible. Ask yourself this: Is this babbling fool REALLY fit to serve as a figurehead for the UK manga and anime community? We, and many others, think fucking not.
    (UPDATE: Towers is so obviously proud of his brains spilling out for all to see, the muppet has made the video private. Something to hide, hmm? Something you'd rather the likes of Dimensional and Showmasters didn't see? It would be an awful shame if someone had, say, downloaded the video already...)
  • AnimeLeague yet again Oh go on, be my friend, please. Pwetty pwease wiv a chewwy on top. I’ll give you all my lunch money...


FreeSaiyan is part of a series on

Anime

Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.