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Cum: Difference between revisions
imported>IGotFired |
imported>Crusader No edit summary |
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<Center>{{frame|[[Image:Double-feeding.gif|Feeding time!]]|border=black|background=white}}</center> | |||
[[File:Milk.gif|310px|right]] | |||
[[ | [[File:Semen balloons.gif|310px|right]] | ||
[[ | |||
{{corner|[[File:SpoogeAnimated.gif|1700px]]}} | |||
'''Cum''' is a slang term indicating either the act of ejaculating or the slippery by-products of said act. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of [[rape]]. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night. | |||
In persons with [[cock]], the verb (To Cum/Ejaculate) refers to the overtly obvious ''twitch n' spurt.'' For people who don't want to become [[pregnant]] and hate having to use [[condoms]], pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a [[Fact|100%]] chance that you have avoided becoming a parent. For [[you]], this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all [[butthurt]] because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face. | |||
In persons with [[cock]], the verb refers to the overtly obvious ''twitch n' spurt.'' For people who don't want to become [[pregnant]] and hate having to use [[condoms]], pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a [[ | |||
==Semen== | |||
[[Image:Niggerfacial.jpg|thumb|Cum is an excellent source of nutrients.]] | |||
'''Semen''', also known as High Fructose Porn Syrup, is a white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male [[penis]] when stimulated. Following this, a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money. | |||
The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefore it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the [[prostitute|woman on-the-go]]. It is powered by 2-5 milligrams of fructose per 1 milliliter of sticky cum. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions. | |||
==A Woman's Best Friend== | |||
[[File:Cinnabun earrings.jpg|thumb|right|Guess how the "icing" was made.]] | |||
It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered [[BitingBeaver|feminist]] who has a [[Tumblr]], or if you're lucky simply a [[whore|Succubus]] out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of [[hell]] to burn for all eternity. | |||
*'''Ladies take note!''' It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load. | |||
*'''On a diet?''' Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"! Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem. | |||
*'''Need extra oomph?''' [[klarawagner|Klara Wagner]] enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers. | |||
*'''Can't get enough of the good stuff?''' Ask a man if you can suck his [[sausage]] and chances are he'll happily oblige. | |||
== | ==Female Ejaculation== | ||
{{main|Squirting}} | |||
Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No, not really. In reality, women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend, wife, or rape victim tells you that she had an orgasm, she is lying. In the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make men feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a man's ego will result in him buying more stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often. | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
{{cg| | {{cg||Cumgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
Image:Jap cum bath.gif|Imagine the smell... | |||
Image:jizztini.jpg|Cum makes for a [[Jizztini|delicious cocktail]] | |||
Image:Cockwaffle.jpg|All [[furries]] eat cum for breakfast. | |||
Image:Lost sperm.jpg | |||
Image:Skittles.gif|Some people ejaculate Skittles | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
Image:Cumpro.gif | |||
Image:Semen-collector.jpg|A device for collecting semen | |||
Image:Bigcumshot.gif|Cum in action | |||
Image:Ejaculation.gif|Cum like the best. | |||
Image:happywoman.jpg | |||
File:God Tier Cum.jpg | |||
Image:Spermy.jpg|Where to apply semen | |||
Image:Unicum.jpg|In the [[USA]], semen is drunk as a liquor | |||
Image:Mastsriusly3.jpg|THE PIPES, THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT CAPTAIN! | |||
Image:Splurge.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT |Cum where it's supposed to be]]. | Image:Splurge.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT |Cum where it's supposed to be]]. | ||
Image:Facial Regret.jpg|An unenthusiastic cum target. | Image:Facial Regret.jpg|An unenthusiastic cum target. | ||
Image:Claudia-thorn-bukkake.JPG|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum. | Image:Claudia-thorn-bukkake.JPG|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum. | ||
Line 60: | Line 52: | ||
Image:Dicksleeves.jpg | Image:Dicksleeves.jpg | ||
Image:Lady J facepainter.jpg|this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting. | Image:Lady J facepainter.jpg|this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting. | ||
Image:Cumdump.jpg| Ass rape aftermath | Image:Cumdump.jpg| Ass rape aftermath | ||
Image:Drip.jpg | Image:Drip.jpg | RIP, [[Erik Rhodes]] | ||
Image: Cum_fountain.gif|An ungrateful fag wasting his lunch. | |||
Image:Feeding_02.gif | |||
Image:Titphonesex.gif | Image:Titphonesex.gif | ||
Image:Tunnelvision.gif | Image:Tunnelvision.gif | ||
Image: | Image:Bukkake03.jpg | ||
Image:Ejaculate_Blood.gif|How it's done. | Image:Ejaculate_Blood.gif|How it's done. | ||
Image:Porn-gif-amateur-facial-cumshot-1.gif | |||
Image:Spermies.jpg|Now in candy form. | |||
Image:Wonkasplooge.gif|Willy [[Wanker|Wonka]] sneaks one up on unsuspecting child and mother. | |||
Image:Femalecockmongler.jpg|The fruits of your labor. | |||
Image:CreamyCumCrepes.jpg|You can cook with semen as well! | |||
Image:Sunscreen.gif | |||
Image:Sperm-egg.jpg|What sperm looks like [[IRL]]. Since they look like [[frog|tadpoles]], this is sure to arouse the [[furfag]]s who extend their fetish to non-mammals. | |||
Image:Cum_-_Come_At_Me_Bro.jpg | |||
Image:Cum_-_Computer_Sperm.jpg | |||
Image:Cum_-_Super_Sperm.jpg | |||
Image:Cum_-_Cock_Yogurt.jpg | |||
File:Cumshotattack.gif|How to properly greet a lady. | |||
Image:Cumbag.jpg | |||
Image:Bathinginmale-tears.jpg|Water is more cleaner for bathing than my [[Male tears]] just sayin' | |||
Image:Cumshots in mouth.gif|How to properly dispose of cum. | |||
File:Oozinator.gif | |||
Image:cum gag.gif|A [[Whore|young, aspiring actress]] learns the hard way about [[Nigger|African American]] cum. | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
== | ==Videos== | ||
<youtube>4pXfHLUlZf4</youtube> | <center><youtube>4pXfHLUlZf4</youtube></center> | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
[[Image:1915_1608_Hilton-Paris-120703-400-lo.jpg|thumb|Semen, [[Paris Hilton]]'s favorite drink]] | |||
*[[Fap]] | |||
*[[I Came]] | *[[I Came]] | ||
*[[Jizztini]] | *[[Jizztini]] | ||
*[[Male Tears]] - What feminists call cum | |||
*People Who Love Cum | |||
**[[Britney Spears]] | |||
**[[Dakota Fanning]]'s belly button | |||
**[[CumOnPrintedPics.Com]] | |||
**[[Dorian Thorn]] | |||
**[[Faggots]] | |||
**[[Paris Hilton]] | |||
**[[Miley Cyrus]] | |||
**[[Male tears]] [[Jezebel|drinking]] and [[Jessica Valenti|bathing]] [[SJW|aficionados]] | |||
**[[Your mom]] | |||
**[[You]] | |||
*[[Semen]] | *[[Semen]] | ||
*[[ | *[[Cum collector]] | ||
*[[ | *[[Face-painter]] | ||
*[[Bukkake]] | |||
*[[The Money Shot]] | |||
*[[Bukkake Milk]] | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
[[File:Glory.gif|310px|right]] | |||
*[http://www.cookingwithcum.com/ Cooking With Cum] Looking for that extra something in your crepes? A whole book dedicated to the fine art of cooking with semen | |||
*[http://www.dontspitswallow.com/ Don't Spit, Swallow!] - Swallowing hints, advice, and tips. | |||
*[http://ejacu.com/ejaculation/001.html Ejaculation Pictures] - Free archive of different types of semen expressions and emissions. | |||
*[http://advancedmasturbation.com/ejaculation/01.html Masturbation Ejaculation Techniques] - Different ways to shoot semen with facts, instructions, and pictures. | |||
*[[Wikipedia:Cummingtonite]] Cumming rocks | *[[Wikipedia:Cummingtonite]] Cumming rocks | ||
*[http://www.beautifulagony.com/feck_subaff/redirect.php?id=f981d7a4 Come faces] | *[http://www.beautifulagony.com/feck_subaff/redirect.php?id=f981d7a4 Come faces] | ||
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*[http://www.wowomg.com Website to make you cum] | *[http://www.wowomg.com Website to make you cum] | ||
*[http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/4956212 How to cook with cum] | *[http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/4956212 How to cook with cum] | ||
*[http://www.freedonr.com/sdcatalog.html Here's an entire | *[http://www.freedonr.com/sdcatalog.html Here's an entire CATALOG of sperm donors to choose from!] | ||
{{Sex}} | |||
{{ | {{food}} | ||
[[Category:Sex]] |
Latest revision as of 16:22, 25 October 2023
Cum is a slang term indicating either the act of ejaculating or the slippery by-products of said act. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of rape. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night.
In persons with cock, the verb (To Cum/Ejaculate) refers to the overtly obvious twitch n' spurt. For people who don't want to become pregnant and hate having to use condoms, pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a 100% chance that you have avoided becoming a parent. For you, this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all butthurt because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face.
Semen
Semen, also known as High Fructose Porn Syrup, is a white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male penis when stimulated. Following this, a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money.
The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefore it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the woman on-the-go. It is powered by 2-5 milligrams of fructose per 1 milliliter of sticky cum. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions.
A Woman's Best Friend
It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered feminist who has a Tumblr, or if you're lucky simply a Succubus out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of hell to burn for all eternity.
- Ladies take note! It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load.
- On a diet? Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"! Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
- Need extra oomph? Klara Wagner enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers.
- Can't get enough of the good stuff? Ask a man if you can suck his sausage and chances are he'll happily oblige.
Female Ejaculation
Moar info: Squirting.
Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No, not really. In reality, women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend, wife, or rape victim tells you that she had an orgasm, she is lying. In the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make men feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a man's ego will result in him buying more stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often.
Gallery
-
Imagine the smell...
-
Cum makes for a delicious cocktail
-
All furries eat cum for breakfast.
-
Some people ejaculate Skittles
-
A device for collecting semen
-
Cum in action
-
Cum like the best.
-
Where to apply semen
-
In the USA, semen is drunk as a liquor
-
THE PIPES, THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT CAPTAIN!
-
An unenthusiastic cum target.
-
Claudia Thorn enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum.
-
DO NOT WANT!!!
-
this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting.
-
Ass rape aftermath
-
RIP, Erik Rhodes
-
An ungrateful fag wasting his lunch.
-
How it's done.
-
Now in candy form.
-
Willy Wonka sneaks one up on unsuspecting child and mother.
-
The fruits of your labor.
-
You can cook with semen as well!
-
How to properly greet a lady.
-
Water is more cleaner for bathing than my Male tears just sayin'
-
How to properly dispose of cum.
-
A young, aspiring actress learns the hard way about African American cum.
Videos
See Also
- Fap
- I Came
- Jizztini
- Male Tears - What feminists call cum
- People Who Love Cum
- Semen
- Cum collector
- Face-painter
- Bukkake
- The Money Shot
- Bukkake Milk
External Links
- Cooking With Cum Looking for that extra something in your crepes? A whole book dedicated to the fine art of cooking with semen
- Don't Spit, Swallow! - Swallowing hints, advice, and tips.
- Ejaculation Pictures - Free archive of different types of semen expressions and emissions.
- Masturbation Ejaculation Techniques - Different ways to shoot semen with facts, instructions, and pictures.
- Wikipedia:Cummingtonite Cumming rocks
- Come faces
- Sperm for music festival tickets? it's more common than you think
- Great ideas for disposing of manmilk
- Website to make you cum
- How to cook with cum
- Here's an entire CATALOG of sperm donors to choose from!
Cum is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |