John Locke

FACT ALERT: John Locke will fuck up your shit.

The man himself.

John Locke is a character from the unpopular television drama Lost. In the show, this lovable skinhead often fucks everything up for the castaways. Why? Because he's Locke. If you get in his way, he's going to fuck up your shit. He is so fucking awesome, he's named after a philosopher from the Age of Enlightenment who influenced the Founding Fathers.

Locke eventually found his way onto 4chan and continues to fuck up everyone's shit. It's all part of the lulziest meme to show up on /b/ for a long time.

History

Locke was once an orphan born from a teenmommy, basement dweller, and cripple. During the attention whore emo CP lover phase of his life, he donated a kidney to his dying dad, who kicked him to the curb before the doctors were done stitching him up. Pissed off, Locke started fucking shit up. He forced an airplane crash with nothing more than the power of his mind. His crippled legs? He fucked them up so badly that he could walk again. Every season finale of Lost asks the questions "Who will Locke kill next?" He most recently managed to kill himself, then became a zombie, proving he is Jesus, then fucked his own shit up so badly he ended up dying. It was only a matter of time. The "new" Locke is actually someone else in John Locke's form. It is, however, inevitable that Locke will return to fuck up everyone's shit.

On the 4th of November, Locke became the president of the internets. This day will be remembered.

Bridge collapse? Miner cave-ins? ED:IRC? Locke fucked up their shit.

Locke will fuck up your shit. This cannot be avoided.

Gallery

John Locke About missing Pics

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  he just showed charlie his future...OH SHI-
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  he's also a pretty cool guy
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  this pretty much sums up Locke's personality
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  Locke's ancestors.

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  OH HAI, WANTA SNAX?
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  Oh hai. I fix'd ur sub.
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  IZ IN UR PIT
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  lulzy but DOING IT WRONG
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  Locke 117 ruined the Monitor's.
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  Locke steals Batman's notepad, the Joker then kills himself in fear.
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  How do I ruin your shit?
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  Locke will fuck up your air cab.

John Locke fucks shit up About missing Pics

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  At least you can still hold a pen?
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  John Locke's sister, Stephanie Meyer, fucking vampire's shit.

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  Locke noes nagas.
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  Locke fucks up Luigi's shit and creates a monster
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  Locke fucks up SPARTAAAAA
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  Locke fucks up...OH SHI-
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  That was no accident.
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  Locke fucks up memes.
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  Locke fucks up WTC
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  Oh noez!
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  At last, a film that captures the true majesty of Scotland...
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  2007 Nevar Forget.
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  Oooh, tacos!
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  That bus crash was no accident.
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  LOLCHAIR
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  Locke ruins up Sweeney Todd.
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  John Locke ruins the presidency...
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  Goodnight Sweet Prince
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  This isn't a punchline it's just a damn plot summary.
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  Locke will wreck your shitter.
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  Locke went to Obama's nomination speech.
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  Those moralfags are no accident.
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  even in the future, Locke fucks shit up.
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  Locke will fuck up your holidays.
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  Will fuck up your Zelda.
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  John Locke fucked up building in X-Files (and x-Files movie too)
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  Tyra's shit is fucked up more then usual.
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See Also:

• Lost
• Lostpedia

John Locke is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

John Locke is part of a series on Memes Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.