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Amateur porn: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Inprogresss.jpg|thumb|right|Tasty pussy]] | [[Image:Inprogresss.jpg|thumb|right|Tasty pussy]] | ||
[[Image:Kamwhore.jpg|thumb|left|Typical camwhore]] | [[Image:Kamwhore.jpg|thumb|left|Typical camwhore]] | ||
[[Image:Dorian_and_claudia_thorn.JPG|thumb|right|possibly dead]] | [[Image:Dorian_and_claudia_thorn.JPG|thumb|right|[[User:BekahQ|possibly dead]]]] | ||
[[Image:Peak-a-boo.jpg|thumb|left|Typical Amateur Post]] | [[Image:Peak-a-boo.jpg|thumb|left|Typical Amateur Post]] | ||
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|}</center> | |}</center> | ||
==How | ==How Amateur Porn Is Found== | ||
Most home-made porn on the interwebs is submitted by a combination of ex-boyfriends getting their own back on a slut and your local PC repair centre serviceman [[Lulz|who found your home-made pornz.]] (Or [[CP]] if you're [[Gary Glitter]]).<br> | Most home-made porn on the interwebs is submitted by a combination of ex-boyfriends getting their own back on a slut and your local [[Geek Squad|PC repair centre serviceman]] [[Lulz|who found your home-made pornz.]] (Or [[CP]] if you're [[Gary Glitter]]).<br> | ||
It is also a national past time for | It is also a national past time for Schlampen in Germany to submit home-made videos. | ||
==Stickam Whores== | ==Stickam Whores== | ||
Recently however many sluts have started to enjoy broadcasting via streaming sites. | Recently, however, many sluts have started to enjoy broadcasting via streaming sites. This species of [[dog|woman]] is commonly known as '''[[camwhore]]''' and will show tits/vag for only 100 viewers. <br> | ||
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;" | {| align="center" style="padding:0px;" | ||
|<center><big>'''Typical Stickam Whores'''</big></center><br> | |<center><big>'''Typical Stickam Whores'''</big></center><br> | ||
<center><youtube> | <center><youtube>Xj6ae35WJBQ</youtube></center> | ||
<br> | <br> | ||
|} | |} | ||
==How to Make Amateur Porn== | |||
==How to | |||
So you want to be a part time porn star? | So you want to be a part time porn star? | ||
Well all you need is your shitty [[iphone]] and an account on youporn!<br> | Well all you need is your shitty [[iphone]] and an account on youporn!<br> | ||
===[[PROTIP|Protips]]=== | ===[[PROTIP|Protips]]=== | ||
* Don't bother if you're not hot | * Don't bother if you're not hot. | ||
* | * Groom that lice-infested bush. | ||
* Don't fuck animals or eat shit from a cup | * Don't [[Mr. Hands|fuck animals]] or [[2girls1cup|eat shit from a cup]]. | ||
* Don't be fat | * Don't be fat. | ||
===Common Mistakes=== | ===Common Mistakes=== | ||
* Poor lighting | * Poor lighting | ||
* Shit video camera | * Shit video camera | ||
* No English? | * [[Engrish|No English?]] | ||
* Forgot to shave/wax | * Forgot to shave/wax | ||
* Shaky camera | * Shaky camera | ||
* Bad angles | * Bad angles | ||
* Not enough | * Not enough [[anal]] | ||
* Shitty bewbage | * Shitty bewbage | ||
* Having a fatass in there | * Having a fatass in there | ||
* Having a shitty cameraman who won't stop huffing | * Having a shitty cameraman who won't stop huffing | ||
* Making it [[CP]] | * Making it [[CP]] | ||
* Poor sound editing. If you have pets, kids, etc. audible in the background, dub your shit over with music, preferably something lulzy. | |||
===Feedback=== | ===Feedback=== | ||
If you're lucky enough, the [[Basement-dwellers|community]] will post one-handed comments for your videos. | If you're lucky enough, the [[Basement-dwellers|community]] will post positive one-handed comments for your videos. | ||
<center>{{morphquote||That pillow case is from Asda, it's a shame because it only comes with a single quilt cover.||she is not that good, lets see the action...yahoo!! a small dick and quick cum... must save this vdo to share with my wife...::) you very well know why!||very hat movie||can't stop thinking she looks like my girlfriend fucking with her brother...||You are sooo beautiful. I love your nipples and how hard they get. I would like to see more of you especially you using a dildo in your ass. I loved your video!||pretty hot, she could have done a better bj the anal was hot, love wet sounds.}}</center> | <center>{{morphquote||That pillow case is from Asda, it's a shame because it only comes with a single quilt cover.||she is not that good, lets see the action...yahoo!! a small dick and quick cum... must save this vdo to share with my wife...::) you very well know why!||very hat movie||can't stop thinking she looks like my girlfriend fucking with her brother...||You are sooo beautiful. I love your nipples and how hard they get. I would like to see more of you especially you using a dildo in your ass. I loved your video!||pretty hot, she could have done a better bj the anal was hot, love wet sounds.}}</center> | ||
{{quote|[[Wincest|God I wish that was MY sister]]}} | {{quote|[[Wincest|God I wish that was MY sister]]}} | ||
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* [http://www.xhamster.com xhamster.com] | * [http://www.xhamster.com xhamster.com] | ||
* [http://www.youporn.com youporn.com] | * [http://www.youporn.com youporn.com] | ||
* [http://jible.com jible.com] | |||
* [http://www.redtube.com redtube.com] | * [http://www.redtube.com redtube.com] | ||
* [http://camrevenge.com camrevenge.com] | * [http://camrevenge.com camrevenge.com] | ||
* [http://www.pornhub.com pornhub.com] | * [http://www.pornhub.com pornhub.com] | ||
* [http://www.slutload.com slutload.com] | * [http://www.slutload.com slutload.com] | ||
* [http://spankwire.com spankwire.com] | |||
* [http://tube8.com tube8.com] | |||
* [http://extremetube.com extremetube.com] | |||
'''Bizarre homemade paysites.''' | '''Bizarre homemade paysites.''' | ||
Latest revision as of 17:03, 23 February 2019
Amateur porn
Amateur porn, (aka home-made porn) is the most AWESOME porn on the interwebs, e.g, HOME-MADE LESBIAN. Not only is this porn usually free, it's copyright free, hawt and most likely stolen, making it taste even sweeter to your cawk. Often the women you see here are the prime examples of why you should have bought your daughter that pony. Because of some bullshit father issue, or some other piece of fabricated sob story, these women feel liberated by letting the dregs of society masturbate to their delusional attempts at looking "sexy." Unfortunately they'll continue down the porn food chain looking for self actualization until they end up in pain videos and granny bush pornos sucking the AID's infested cum out of some whore who's only slightly more pathetic than herself.
While still some other stupid cum dumpster will be tricked into thinking its a memento of their love.(guys if your reading this: try it out, those stupid cunts fall for it all the time)
|
Warning! 9 out of 10 amateurs are HIDEOUS |
How Amateur Porn Is Found
Most home-made porn on the interwebs is submitted by a combination of ex-boyfriends getting their own back on a slut and your local PC repair centre serviceman who found your home-made pornz. (Or CP if you're Gary Glitter).
It is also a national past time for Schlampen in Germany to submit home-made videos.
Stickam Whores
Recently, however, many sluts have started to enjoy broadcasting via streaming sites. This species of woman is commonly known as camwhore and will show tits/vag for only 100 viewers.
|
How to Make Amateur Porn
So you want to be a part time porn star?
Well all you need is your shitty iphone and an account on youporn!
Protips
- Don't bother if you're not hot.
- Groom that lice-infested bush.
- Don't fuck animals or eat shit from a cup.
- Don't be fat.
Common Mistakes
- Poor lighting
- Shit video camera
- No English?
- Forgot to shave/wax
- Shaky camera
- Bad angles
- Not enough anal
- Shitty bewbage
- Having a fatass in there
- Having a shitty cameraman who won't stop huffing
- Making it CP
- Poor sound editing. If you have pets, kids, etc. audible in the background, dub your shit over with music, preferably something lulzy.
Feedback
If you're lucky enough, the community will post positive one-handed comments for your videos.
Previous Quote | Next Quote
See Also
External Links
Good amateur porn sites
Sites with lots of suitable homemade content
- xvideos.com
- xhamster.com
- youporn.com
- jible.com
- redtube.com
- camrevenge.com
- pornhub.com
- slutload.com
- spankwire.com
- tube8.com
- extremetube.com
Bizarre homemade paysites.
Furry homemade porn (you know you want it)
- Whoever put the now deleted link here is a furfag and needs to GTFO
|
Amateur porn is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |