Jiminycricketfan007

ATTENTION! This luser is a lolcow, and should be trolled to death in the usual fashion. You can help by posting their nude pix or spamming their talk page.

She and her current (and only) boyfriend.

Remember that Pinocchio movie by Disney made back in 1940 with the talking cricket conscience? Remember those fantasies you had about him growing to a height of six foot, becoming your husband and having a fully human offspring with him? Me neither, but apparently, this is true for JiminycricketFan007, who has dedicated her life to this pest who should have been sprayed with Raid eons ago.

Origin

How she sees Jiminy. Good God.

Jiminycricketfan007, also known as Hollie, was an accident born and raised in Canvey Island, Essex, England. She is the self-proclaimed wife of Jiminy Cricket in any shape or form. She began drawing by merely tracing the same images of him over and over again, depicting the two of them having half-sex whilst proclaiming their love for each other, no matter what the situation. Yuck!

She eventually progressed from shitty pictures of Jiminy to ones of his first daughter, Jenny, who is a cricket. There was also a grasshopper who has fallen for Hollie, but who really gives a shit? She became pregnant with his crick-cum and they had a fully human daughter named Sylvia, who probably has sex with him, too.

She apparently loves her beloved Jim-Jim so much, so much that she even refused to visit her dying grandma in the hospital on Christmas because it meant less time with Jim Jim. Which is outright disrespectful since she cares more about a fictional character than her real family.

Not only does she produce shitty art, she produces shitty fan-fiction, too.

“	The hour was still late Very early in the morning. I suddenly jerked awake from a pleasent slumber. I looker over next to me there was Jiminy still sleeping snoring(<3 LOL cute). My stomach felt sick and my throat hurt i rubbed at them both to make sure that the terrible nightmare had not come true. I sighed and layed my head on Jiminy's shoulder which woke him up "wah..." he moaned I apologised for wakeing him up so early i just shook with fear from my nightmare i clutched my neck as a swallowed. Jiminy yawned and sat up with open arms out to me i scooted towards him and accepted his hug. Jiminy kissed me on the cheek as he wrapped his arms around me. He suddenly noticed that i kept on rubbing my stomach and throat "whats wrong honey" he asked "i'm sorry for wakeing you up so early i didn't mean to i just had a nightmare thats all" i answerd "what about" he asked. I just groaned and shook my head i didn't want to talk about it. Jiminy nodded i just felt so sick after it. The dream was horrible. Just as i said this a salty tear ran down my cheek from the memory of that unforgettable nightmare. Jiminy unwrapped his embrace from me and noticed the tear. He cupped his hands under my chin and brushed the tear away with his thumb. "Whatever it was you dreamed of Hollie it was only a dream. Take it from me it's not real it's just your imagenation it didn't happen nor is it going to happen ok?" I nodded smileing clearing the rest of my tears. Jiminy was the first to lay back so i joined him. His arm closest to me was raised up so i scooted underneth it and layed my head on his muscular cheast. He embraced me then he turned to face me and kissed me on the lips i just blushed and kissed him back then we slowly drifted back to sleep arms wrapped round each other for close comfort End	„
—JiminycricketFan007's "most popular" fanfic.

Her one non-Jiminy picture, and it still sucks.

Let us also bask in the fact that miss Hollie is a rare treat on DevianTART, for she has yet to pull the assburger's card like so many have! This shit is fo'serious!

She wouldn't be bat-shit crazy without a small handful of bat-shit insane followers and ass-kissers. This includes:

• Friday-Addams - from her comments, is growing quite tired of Hollie's BS as well
• Docbandicoot - another lolcow who spends all day drawing Snow White shitting into diapers
• marioandluigidogshb - fails at being a white knight and obsessed with the creepy puppet himself
• Lolliangel23 - Hollie's "BFF"
• TheWizardOfOzzy- major foot lover who loves the teenage Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz

Her English is also unbearable to read. Not only are her thoughts irrational and messed up, they're also hard to read. She frequently uses phrases like "take the fucking piss out of" and "I LOVE HIM WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!?", and her run-on sentences are hard to decipher and make sense of.

My Little Pony Obsession

Not only has she been having sex with crickets, she has been having fantasies of the two of them becoming magical ponies, thus turning her into another brony. In said pony pictures, she can be seen flaunting her relationship to other ponies who in return gush and goo over how they will never have anything as magical as her marriage to Jiminy. She draws herself as a unicorn, Jiminy as a pegasus, and her daughter as a hybrid of the two, and has written stories about her daughter wanting to be a princess or some shit. She also takes screenshots of pony characters from the show and claims she drew them herself. How original.

She continues to produce original artwork of her pony self and think she is contributing to society, but she is clearly wrong.

Reaction to Gay Fanfiction

Kill yourself, seriously

On March 9, 2013, things got serious when she found out somebody had written a fanfiction about her beloved husband having gay-sex with the mouse from Dumbo. She threw a tantrum about it, claiming that Jiminy's cricket dick was hers and hers alone before then going on to state that she would leave him if he did anything like that ever again. As her journal details in her typical run-ons and bad grammar:

“   Im broken hearted i just read this fanfiction about Jiminy and Timothy Q mouse from Dumbo they are in a relationship i give up with him i love Jiminy more than anything in the world heres the story I thought Jiminy loved me but no :'( :'( :'( im bawling my eyes out   „     —Jiminycricketfan007     “   Dude, Jiminy is a Disney cartoon character. Get over it. You'll find love someday, just wait.   „     —PerryFan1998     “   Aww thanks i'm back with him now. he had a talk with me and said "i still love you sweetie and i always will" he sat me down and we cuddled i had to think about Sylvia aswell   „     —Jiminycricketfan007, decides not to break up with Jiminy Cricket Previous Quote | Next Quote

Less than twenty-four hours later she came out with another journal, apologizing to Jiminy and saying her love for him, as well as their human daughter, were important to her and she would never give up on him. NEVER.

The Trolls Have Found Her At Last

On April 6, 2013, an anon on Tumblr posted a link to JiminycricketFan007's gallery, and all necessary hell broke loose. Tartlets were stating the obvious and telling her what she was doing was crazy and sick.

	“	You say you aren't interested in sex, yet you apparently have a daughter named Sylvia. Sex makes babies, obviously. So you apparently fucked a cricket.	„
	—0Decessus0

In response to the trolls, she is now producing shit art of the dead voice actor behind her cricket, Cliff Edwards. If she can't be in love with a cartoon cricket, it's fine to be in love with an old dude who's been dead for years AND was happily married for years, right?

	“	I do have a crush on Cliff but hes dead ur correct it was his voice that made me fall in love with him true R.I.P Cliff	„
	—JiminycricketFan007, in response to someone pointing out her love for a cricket is invalid

Not sure which is worse: sexy time with cricket, or sexy time with dead guy...

She also mentions that she doesn't give a fuck about what everyone else thinks, but all the hidden comments on her wall tell a different story.

In the real world, she has been ridiculed and trolled in real life for her love for the cricket. She has no friends in real life, and her family is embarrassed by her, as they should be. Her mother is said to have her daughter's love for the cricket go too far. Hollie chooses to piss off everyone by continuing her love for Jiminy and not listen to any criticism. In fact, the only comments she fully embraces are those from her ass patting friends...which include some bitch who is apparently married to Dopey. lolwut?

Breaking news! Hollie has become aware of this article and is going to ragequit her account! Nothing like posting the name of your new account on your journal to satisfy trolls.

In response to her discovery on the internetz, she continues to bitch and moan about how horrible people are and that she doesn't deserve any of this. While she is getting good advice from people that she should basically disappear from the internet and the world together, she continues to keep making shit. Seriously, we know you're reading this, Hollie. Stop making shit art. It's creepy and so very wrong in every form. Nobody likes it, and your followers are idiots for thinking so. Cliff Edwards would be spinning in his grave if he found out you wanted sex with him OR Jiminy.

Her friends attempted to delete this article in order to help the spoiled twat feel better, but they were complete idiots doing so. She continues to create shitty art, despite people telling her to keep her creepy life to herself.

Quotably Quotable

“   i spent £110 pn this plush my mum thinks its rediculus but i don't care i have wanted this plush for ages i just wanna snuggle up to him and lay my head on his chest   „     —In response to her mother thinking she is bat-shit insane     “   ...the comments he writes are horrible I read his journal that is even worse I think he is jelouse that he can't do art he has no deviations so he writs horrible comments to make himself look hard   „     —On a professional troll     “   Wow ur a critic well done there is a thing called imagenation thicko and its FAN ART i know he aint married to me and fyi my sister drew this   „     —Da fuq is a thicko??     “   After reading this fanfiction [link] i was very upset and gave up with Jiminy for a couple of days but after Jiminy read this he was disgusted and had a little talk with me I love him too much to give up on him i can't live without him he gave me a huge cuddle and a kiss i felt a little awkward but now i'm perfectly fine with him i have a thrill for him again.   „     —She still thinks he's real.     “   Thanks it was hard to draw jiminy kneeling down but I done it in the end and ur invited to the wedding because its going to be a double wedding XD   „         “   The Grasshopper wants to force me to marry him but i don't love him I love my Jim-Jim so he is protecting me from this imposterbut how scary is this the Grasshopper wants to KIDNAP ME! when im sleeping HELP ME JIMINY!!!!!!   „         “   oh yes me and Jiminy had a wonderful valentine's day he got me a bunch of roses and a box of chocolates and also a ecklace with a diamond star on it oh yay you got better   „     —NO. YOU DIDN'T.     “   I dont think he should be cuddling me in public his arm around me yes but with people around us we prefer privacy   „     —Hypocrite, much?     “   Jiminy wants to make me happy so he has been building up his mucles but he doest need to do that to make me happy i already am because he is always there and of corse he asked me to marry him but he does look sexy though   „     —Word vomit     “   IRK one sexy cricket HUBBA HUBBA   „     —BARF     “   I dont need help prob in a couple of years it will all fade away from me what with college finding a job ect ever thought of that smart guy   „     —No, and there's a reason why.     “   "Aww I snuggle with Jiminy still I lay him on my pillow lay myself between his legs and lay my head on his tummy with his arms round me cuddling me he is so soft and squishy"   „     —Yeah, this is totes normal...     “   No i do not seriously think im married to him thats only in fan art and fanfictions not the real world   „     —Oh, really? Your photo gallery tells a different story Previous Quote | Next Quote

Gallery

Her "Art" About missing Pics

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  Highly disturbing.
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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  OH GOD WHY
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  Not only is Pinoke dead, Jiminy and cray-cray are singing to his corpse. Jesus.
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  Anatomy, you suck at it.
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  Shitting on two movies.
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  GET IN MAH BELLY.
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  Not sure if Jiminy or creepy Six Flags man.
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  Pretty scary shit right here.
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  Why does she have a doll version of her "father?" Seriously.
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  Not sure if Cliff Edwards or Sheldon Cooper...
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  How unsexy.

IRL with her Jiminy About missing Pics

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  Look at that double chin.
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  Her trying to have swag.
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  Is...is he humping her torso??
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  She put a ring on it. A real, goddamn ring.
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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Closest thing to sexy time she'll ever get.
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  Double the pleasure, double the lulz.
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  One of the "better" selfies.
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  So this is what made the Joker crazy...
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  She haz two chins, going on three chins...

External Links

• JiminycricketFan007 (deleted)
• Crystal-Lunawolf97 (current)
• Luna-Wolfmoon
• http://animatedc9000.deviantart.com/art/It-Had-to-Be-You-a-Jiminy-Timothy-one-shot-339613540
• http://sociallyunacceptableart2.tumblr.com/post/47168172501 Where people first discovered her.
• https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jiminycricketfan007.10864/ Her thread on Kiwi Farms.

See Also

• Bambifan101
• Dirty Disney Confessions
• Dying alone
• Fangirl
• Freak
• Ray Jones
• Realmrsoptimusprime
• Sick Fuck

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