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Shaun Ellis: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Shaun Ellis.jpg|thumb|300px|Live with wolves for too long and you start looking like one.]]
[[File:Shaun Ellis.jpg|thumb|300px|Live with wolves for too long and you start looking like one.]]
{{quote|Shaun Ellis has nothing to teach a wolf. He cannot teach them how to hunt, he cannot teach them how to have sex, and he cannot teach them how to seriously fight among themselves. Think about it. Ellis is too slow to chase down a rabbit. More to the point, the wolves do not have near enough room to run down a deer or elk on their own (not that there are any elk in the U.K.). So what does Ellis "teach" the wolves to do instead? He teaches them to ... wait for it ... fish with a few mackeral and trout he steals from the seal exhibit next door. Oh goodie! Talk about Through the Looking Glass. |[http://terriermandotcom.blogspot.com/2007/04/national-geographics-stunt-television.html Terrierman]}}
{{quote|Shaun Ellis has nothing to teach a wolf. He cannot teach them how to hunt, he cannot teach them how to have sex, and he cannot teach them how to seriously fight among themselves. Think about it. Ellis is too slow to chase down a rabbit. More to the point, the wolves do not have near enough room to run down a deer or elk on their own (not that there are any elk in the U.K.). So what does Ellis "teach" the wolves to do instead? He teaches them to ... wait for it ... fish with a few mackeral and trout he steals from the seal exhibit next door. Oh goodie! Talk about Through the Looking Glass. |[http://terriermandotcom.blogspot.com/2007/04/national-geographics-stunt-television.html Terrierman]}}
Once in a while a [[furry]] will strike gold and live the life he has always dreamed of living. '''Shaun Ellis''' (a.k.a. the ''Wolfman'') doesn't have a [[fursuit]], doesn't spend all his money on comissions on [[FurAffinity]] and has never been to a [[Furmeet]] {{citation}}. Instead he has given up the the delusional wannabe world of [[OL]] furfaggotry and moved on to [[IRL]] furfaggotry by living with wolves.
Once in a while a [[furry]] will strike gold and live the life he has always dreamed of living. '''Shaun Ellis''' (a.k.a. the ''Wolfman'') doesn't have a [[fursuit]], doesn't spend all his money on comissions on [[FurAffinity]] and has never been to a [[Furmeet]] {{citation}}. Instead he has given up the delusional wannabe world of [[OL]] furfaggotry and moved on to [[IRL]] furfaggotry by living with wolves.


==Background==
==Background==

Latest revision as of 03:35, 24 June 2016

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You can help by adding moar drama and lulz.
Live with wolves for too long and you start looking like one.
   
“ 		 
Shaun Ellis has nothing to teach a wolf. He cannot teach them how to hunt, he cannot teach them how to have sex, and he cannot teach them how to seriously fight among themselves. Think about it. Ellis is too slow to chase down a rabbit. More to the point, the wolves do not have near enough room to run down a deer or elk on their own (not that there are any elk in the U.K.). So what does Ellis "teach" the wolves to do instead? He teaches them to ... wait for it ... fish with a few mackeral and trout he steals from the seal exhibit next door. Oh goodie! Talk about Through the Looking Glass.
  		„
  		 

—Terrierman

Once in a while a furry will strike gold and live the life he has always dreamed of living. Shaun Ellis (a.k.a. the Wolfman) doesn't have a fursuit, doesn't spend all his money on comissions on FurAffinity and has never been to a Furmeet [citation needed]. Instead he has given up the delusional wannabe world of OL furfaggotry and moved on to IRL furfaggotry by living with wolves.

Background

File:Shaun Ellis Wolf Books.PNG
There appears to be a pattern among his customers ...

Universally believed to be the ultimate wolfaboo, Shaun lives in Britain (where wolves have been extinct since the 1700s) and has been literally living with wolves for between 12-15 years, stopping only occassionally to put on clothes, sleep inside a house, cook his food, and use the toilet like all wild animals do. He does not bathe, as his wolves would consider this "unnatural." Like all furries, Shaun originally worked with foxes before deciding wolves were more awesome. Specifically, like all wolfaboos, he only likes the fluffy North American wolf, as opposed to the short and scraggly Arabian wolves, or the scrawny brown European wolves (which are more closely related to the now extinct British wolf populations than his zoo-bred North American wolves will ever be).

Also, like all wolfaboos, Shaun has proven he cares more about the latest animal in fashion than he does other people - particularly his own family. Shaun has several children from a previous relationship, after he realized that rolling in shit and eating raw meat with wild animals was preferable to taking care his brats. His wife has denied this allegation, however, and claims she divorced Shaun out of shame.

Shaun's ultimate goal is to re-introduce wolves to Britain. His plan sadly is destined to fail because:

  1. England is such an overcrowded and built-up country there is literally nowhere for wolves to live.
  2. The Welsh would not take kindly to wolves killing and eating their lovers.
  3. Although it just might be possible to re-introduce wolves to the wilds of Scotland they would most likely be shot, deep-fried and eaten by burly Scotsmen.

"Unique Maverick Researcher"

Tanja Askani took these photographs. Shortly afterwards, bloody pawprints were found around the fawn's dead body. How they got there is a mystery.

Shaun's claim to fame is his unqiue experiment of living and eating alongside wolves in their natural environment (the zoo) instead of viewing them from afar, like most researchers. Unfortunately, he is not the only lunatic to give up health, hygiene and sanity to live with wolves:

  • Filmaker Jim Dutcher lived with wolves for 6 years. Exactly the same as Askani and Ellis.

Notably, while both Askani and Dutcher lived among wild wolves, Shaun has only managed to live among semi-tame wolves living in cages.

Other Work

File:Wolf Management Wikipedia.PNG
After 15 years of living with wolves and writing five books about their language and behaviour, Shaun turns to Wikipedia.
   
“ 		 
Their language is quite simple. They have a baseline. Anything that is high in tone is encouraging; anything that’s low in tone is discouraging.
  		„
  		 

—He managed to shit four five books out of that.

Shaun has written several books on wolves including The Man who Lives with Wolves, The Wolf Within: How I Learned to Talk Dog (on wolf "language"), Wolf Talk (which is exactly the same) Spirit of the Wolf Talk (see previous) and finally Oral Bestiality Among Canines: How I learnt "Woof" means "Yes".

He also has his own site Wolfpack-management.com. Interestingly, the pages dedicated to wolf behaviour are all exact copies of the article about wolves from Wikipedia, thus proving a shitty online bureaucracy run by homosexual asspies knows more about wolves than Shaun Ellis.

Videos

How to feed wolves the Shaun Ellis way!

Ellis willingly puts his distraught girlfriend in danger

Ellis makes out with a wolf

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

Contact (UNCONFIRMED)

Shaun Ellis Enterprises Ltd. / Wolf Management

Combe Martin Wildlife Park,
Combe Martin,
North Devon,
EX34 0NE
United Kingdom.

Email: [email protected]
Phone: 07709 256103

External Links

See Also

Shaun Ellis
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

Meet the Menagerie:

Badgers • Bats • Bears • Bees • Birds • Bunnies • California Pet Laws 1/1/19 • Cats • Chickens • Chihuahuas • Cows • Crabs • Crows • Dinosaurs • Dogs • Ducks • Eagles • Fish • Foxes • Frogs • Giant Isopods • Octopuses • Pandas • Parakeets • Parrots • Penguins • Pigs • Rats • Sharks • Sheep • Snakes • Spiders • Turtles • Walruse • Wolves

[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]
Shaun Ellis is part of a series on Psychology
Mental illness & Disorders

Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex

Fetishes:

Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning

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