Anailaigh

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An..Ana..Anal lay.. No, Anailaigh is a 28-year-old two-ton TOTALLY ORIGINAL ZEOLF© land whale furfag who specializes in latching onto emotionally stunted, needy, desperate men and using them to get things like apartments, houses, very expensive commissions, and a free ride. This way she can spend all her welfare money on Pizza Hut and five-pound bags of gummy bears that she eats in one sitting.

Censored for your protection

Her MO involves luring in sad and lonely males with her sexy fursona and the promise of everlasting love. She has a new "MAET 4 LYF" approximately every few months, and every action of hers creates drama on the Internet as her immense bulk has an ego to match. Just one example of this is how she tries to charge male role players up to two hundred DOLLARS to roleplay with her "Amazing skillz". She is also a filthy zoophile with a fetish for dog and horse cock, and likes to fantasize about fetuses getting knocked up.

	“	Showering.. i shower quickly, usually on a potty break while chatting with him ... just... can..not walk away.	„
	—Her on explaining the fetid odor wafting from between her lard rolls

Where did this thing come from?

Rumor has it this creature came from the bottom of the marshes of California state, though this has yet to be determined, because everything that comes out of this lard-ass' mouth is a lie.

Anailaigh the landwhale

The hambeast in her natural habitat

Animal abuse

Anailaigh posted a picture of her Crowntail Betta fish named Sushi on FA. As she states in the description, the fish has fin rot. Fin rot is a highly avoidable infection caused by poor diet, poor water conditions, stress, or a mix of all the above. She also kept him in the same tank as a female Beta, to try and get them to breed. Instead, the two fish fought which she found FUNNY.

Anal-lay writes: "he picked on her for half the week then she turned on him lol" so they fought, and she let them, never bothering to separate them, thinking it was rather cute and sweet, rather than a territorial dispute. Betas rip the fins off each other when they fight and tear chunks out of each other, hence their other name: "Siamese fighting fish".

So we have a poor Beta stuck in a tank for a couple of days with chunks of himself rotting in the water, his girlfriend picking on him, possibly on a poor diet, no wonder he's called Sushi.

The medication to treat the Beta is around 4-5 dollars, but rather than have a healthy happy Betta, she was too busy spending all her welfare money on statuettes of her murrsona, knocked up.

Relationship Drama: The Maury Fodder of the Internet

Anailaigh is relatively famous in the furry community for her ability to go through men faster than a bucket of fried chicken. However, this oftentimes does not stop the equally-as-desperate horndogs from approaching her, which most of the time proves to be disastrous. You would think being so obnoxious and stupid on the Internet would be a great deterrence from starting up a relationship with her, but Anailaigh is manipulative and furries are weak-willed and -hearted, always looking for something to stick their cock into. Though most of the time her "mating" goes no farther than a three-week smathering of "i love u b8be *kisses*" comments on her love's Furaffinity profile, there have been several instances where dumbfuck men have moved in with her. Here are some of her more famous escapades:

The Jadescale Incident

From the same community that brought you the king-of-lulz "HELP ME I'M FREEZING" plea, comes their crowning new achievement: "HELP ME, I'M STUCK AT ANAILAIGH'S HOUSE!"

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Biggest. Mistake. Ever. Literally.

	“	She took me to movies, restaurants and sent me out to TOP foods with a grocery list that consisted of 6 100-count bags of tostitos pizza rolls, 8 boxes of hot pockets...and a giant bag of gummibears from the nearby Walmart... A 5-pound bag of candy... She circled it. She needed it.	„
	—Jadescale illustrating the hambeast.

The end of November, 2009. All is quiet on a relatively active Livejournal drama community, when all of a sudden, it is assaulted by a huge-ass post of someone crying for help. Enter Jadescale, a dragon furfag who was sneaking onto his computer to write a help plea out to the public: he had stupidly stranded himself at Anailaigh's house in Washington, and was miserable as hell!

Jadescale and Anailaigh, like most furries, had hooked up together on the ever-shitty Furaffinity website. Finally having a cock to fill that hole in her life (and no, not that hole...), Anailaigh became obsessive, clinging onto Jadescale like she does all of her other boytoys, and flaunting him as no less than her ONE TWU LUV! Only a week into the relationship, already she begged for him to come over and "get to know her better" at her house in Washington, and Jadescale, being the dumbass mindless fuck that he was, let her buy him a plane ticket to fly him out from Pennsylvania. Lulz ensued as he quickly ran out of money, and even faster lost his lunch once seeing the 400-pound whale come stomping up to him.

	“	[My relationship] came to a crushing halt when I stepped off the escalator and saw her for the first time. She's...massive. I don't understand how someone can be that big and live day to day.	„
	—Get out the barf bags.

Jadescale, at that moment not taking the hint to 'GET THE FUCK OUT', decided to accompany Anailaigh to her home, where he then quickly became trapped. Days that were first spent having fun (*cough*) going to the movies quickly devolved into lifeless shopping runs to feed The Fat's insatiable need of gummibears. Money that they once had now trickled out from between their paws like sand in fingers, to the point where they could only spend fifteen dollars on a Thanksgiving meal. Anailaigh could be constantly found begging her friends for money, but of course, never paying it back!

Shadowolf

Around the end of March, after roughly 2 days of dating Anailaigh managed to convince her prey Shadowolf to move in with her, something she touted in a ridiculous journal while obsessively polluting his page with vomit-inducing murrypurr garbage.

With his cock now firmly in a stranglehold the whale began making her usual demands, primarily that he can't get art of his fursona with anyone other than her, while merrily she continues to beg for art of her whorish fantasy Zeolf self being fucked by anything that moves. Her insecurity and hypocrisy truly knows no bounds.

After the news of her new victim got out, members left shouts on Shadowolf's page emulating Anailaigh's demon cries and this extended to his submissions as well, a move that led to much butthurt and bawwletion on Anailaigh's part and lulz for everyone else.

By May, Anailaigh announces a new deadline of 17 days after which there will be no more sexual art of her with anyone. She has even more art of random people fucking her grotesque body.

	“	Friendly Reminder ladies & gents, 17 days left to get a pic of Sexual nature with yours truly. Remember they MUST be WIP/QUED/COMPLETED by May 31st, 2010' I need to know if they are WIP/QUED - after that day, there will no longer be any sexual contact with Anailaigh whether it be MALE or FEMALE. Remember that I am broke so'z i cant pay anything, this was setup so my fans can get themselves a pic with me before the deadline - if ever they've wanted a pic with me.	„
	—Oh no! How disappointing!

Of course this does not last long as she introduces a 'new' character who is Anailaigh's sister and looks almost identical to her other than the lack of rainbow vomit.

In July Anailaigh puts all her couple art in scraps, claims she is quitting MySpace, Facebook and FA and culls 90% of the useless tl;dr shit from her FA profile. All of which being an incredible improvement. Some suspect trouble in fatty paradise but it turns out to be a false alarm however as she returns and business continues as normal. Until...

UpdateEarly March of 2013 Jade-scale shrugged off his old durrsona to make a new one with the sole objective of riding Hambeast into the sunset. Now he goes by Eldadrim. After sobbing over the phone for 3 hours he has taken up the saddle as her Master and given up on life completely.

Enter Stealthdragon

Anailaigh meets someone new on Second Life and wastes no time in planning to shack up with him, changing her icon and removing Shadowolf from her profile. As he and the hambeast had been planning to buy a house together this raised a few eyebrows and so someone sent him a note on FA asking about it. The reply claims that Shad and Anailaigh had broken up amicably a couple of weeks ago and were 'brother and sister' now. Strangely, though, when the recipient tried to respond to this note they found they had been blocked.

In the meantime Stealthdragon's submissions and shouts come under a torrent of "MINE" and "ILU" comments just like all her other 'mates for life' have been subjected to. She also leaves a shout on Shadowolf's page saying "I love you big brother."

This wonderful and deep connection comes to an abrupt end within a day when Stealthdragon reveals that he actually had no interest in Anailaigh whatsoever and that all this was an elaborate trolling attempt. He leaves a shout on her FA page saying as much, and blocks her. He also puts up a submission on FA which was a screenshot of their SL avatars together with the awesome face shooped over his character's head.

The whale responds by trying to pretend the whole thing never happened, putting Shadowolf back on her profile page and leaving an "I love you sweetheart" comment before deleting the shout she had left on his page earlier calling him her brother.

Yes that's right, it was Anailaigh accessing Shadowolf's account who told someone they had broken up weeks prior to her getting together with Stealthdragon, not him. He had been unaware of the whole thing due to being out of town for a week. Without even knowing it, he and his girlfriend had broken up and gotten back together. And they say romance is dead.

Next up: thekingofcrocodiles

How to make friends

Honkeys gonna hate

Finally it seems that Analargh has found her one true soulmate. In addition to blaming the Boston Bombing on karma he's also a racist that thinks everyone in Yurop and Amurrica are whiteys.

Being 10 years younger than the hambeast puts him on par for her maturity level. Not only has he completely ignored every attempt of warning, whether it be links to this page, but also called it trolling. He has also tried to get people to wipe the page and fill it with sentiments of his twu wuv for the raging landwhale. Ignore the fact they've been together less than 6 months. They're already e-married! Sorry guys but she'll allow no more porn to be made of her sparklevomit zebra after November 2013 January 1st 2014. Don't be too heartbroken thanks to her newest scheme of making up cubfurs with the sole objective of auctioning off their virginity.

	“	☆☆ Starting Jan 1st, 2014 - Anailaigh is offlimits for SEXUAL art & rp! I have many new sexy OC's that are very willing an able	„
	—Until he realizes too late that he should have run screaming while he still could

	“	A few exes i have who hurt me entirely only strengthened my choices about my relationship an my life. My morals have strengthened, those who hurt me but not as bad because the relationship was pretty mutual in the split... still had a hand/paw in the building of me. I am who i am because of God, an past relationships that failed... failed for a reason. Because i wasnt meant for anyone but the one i am with right now.	„
	—Contemplating her inability to take her fair share of blame

Oh god, it wants to breed!

Preggo fetish

Despite the 400lb hambeast whale being far too blubbery to ever carry a baby to term safely, not to mention being unable/unwilling/too stupid to take care of herself and the cruel suffering her Beta fish endured due to neglect, she has a fetish for pregnant art and this extends to real life. Yes, she craves the idea of being knocked up.

Too bad she'll need to find a man willing to put up with her for long enough first.

From Anailaigh's FA page:

	“	†††† YES - I LOVE PREGNANCY & PREGNANCY RELATED ART †††† I have a huge thing for the Beauty of pregnancy. I want kids one day, an so the reason for the arts.	„

Of course, this all takes a more disturbing turn when you take into account one of her listed character fetishes is "inner uterine fetal fucking".

Now she's making cubs to auction off their virginity on InkBunny. Way to go exploiting the dominating market there! Thanks to this new revenue her pleading for money to get Jellybeans have dwindled.

Here's hoping the weight of her fat belly forces her festering womb out through her fetid snatch first.

Hambeast vs DogBone

After begging for money to get industrial strength tampons to shove in her massive bajingo she uses those funds to get more porn drawn of her sparklevomit and the newest m84lyf. Numerous livestreams and what must be countless edits the final product gets posted and she proceeds to nitpick and drool passive-aggressive comments. When DogBone fails to edit the image again Anailaigh gets some random furfag to do it for her.

	“	ITS NOT ART THEFT - WHEN I PAID $200 USA DOLLARS FOR THE PIC. i asked for changes, during the PROCESS OF THE ART -- WAS IGNORED, an now.. being reported for theft? no $200 and still didnt get what i asked for. im tired of bs artists who dont fucking listen to me. if i pay you $200 you listen. SOOOOOO mods said take the stuff down its causing THEM issues. sighs fine. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE STORY & the truth. Please just pvt msg me. Thanks! artist: see the right bottom corner.	„
	—Landwhale on artist's rights

Return to FA

After leaving FA with dignity and respect she returns in all her glory and a massive flood of sparklevomit porn! Just to show Fagoneer that she's grateful for a place to beg for money she includes it in her first handful of journals:

	“	Im back, and haters & trolls can hang on to their hatred all they want. Try the same ol same ol - but its not gonna work. Wanna know why i left originally? Cause i was tired of the Dictatoriship of admin/owner/mods. im pretty sure it exsists still - but i figure i shall just avoid them an nada will happen.	„
	—How to win friends and influence people: Anailaigh style

Gallery

• 
  Oh murr
• 
  A magnificently-original creature indeed
• 
  This is apparently "The real Anailaigh."
• 
  Apparently, she has fanart!
• 
  Apparently, she's into "babyfurs" now.
• 
  Butchered ref sheet bearing her MSpaint scribbling.
• 
  It's awwwight
• 
  Heterosexual on the internet, straight IRL. There's a difference!

Retort to Trolling

Anailaigh's witty retort to trolling can be found on her FA user page:

	“	Sticks & Stones might break my bones, but hateful words & rumors cant hurt me.	„
	—Note that Sticks and stones probably would get absorbed into her disgusting mass of fat

u no wut tat meanz rite?? TRY HARDER!!!

How to Troll

1. Call her fursona a zebra
2. Create a character of your own that is a Zebra hybrid with rainbow hair.
3. Tell her "You make nice and fat"

Contacts

• [email protected] is her Yahoo(BECAUSE THIS WAS SO HARD TO GUESS). Go ahead and send her murry snuggles >^w^<
• Ladystar Cosmos Is her second life name, go get your yiff on.

See also

• Attention whore
• Furry
• Lolcow

External links

• Gamecrush
• FurAffinity-BALEETED
• Wikifur
• Rabbit hole
• MyShitsona
• Her old MySpace, note the url "austinsgirl4evr"
• Her website. Notice, it's empty like her brain
• Hifur..Jesus christ how many websites does this woman need?
• ...Pregfur-SITE NUKED FROM ORBIT
• Deviantart
• Twitter
• Scififur.. since when is she smart?
• SoFurry, note: Mated - Closed = I cant be with any other IRL - but i can be in Stories/Pictures/RPs with others at my choice
• Gaiafag
• Babyfur.me... seriously?
• InkBunny for when she auctions off the virginity of children

Anailaigh is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

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