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<b>Matthias Schoormann</b> is a [[sick fuck]], [[black metal]] musician, a [[1337|1337 haxx0r]], and [[an hero]].
{{An hero}}
[[File:Matthiasschoormann.jpg‎|250px|thumb|right|Look at him.]]
[[File:Matthias Schoormann 2.jpg|250px|thumb|right|The car lost.]]


'''Matthias Schoormann''' is a [[sick fuck]], [[black metal]] musician, a [[1337|1337 haxx0r]], and [[an hero]].


==His music career==


==His musical career==
While his musical career (if you could even call it that) was short lived, he was however, a member of a band called "Carpe Noctem", which translates to "Seize the Night". There is a song which you can listen to here [https://bestgore.prochan.com/view?p=6f3_1344129463]. [[Shit nobody cares about|This song is called "Kampf dem Licht" which translates to "Fight the Light".]]
While his musical career (if you could even call it that) was short lived, he was however, a member of a band called "Carpe Noctem", which translates to "Seize the Night". There is a song which you can listen to here [https://bestgore.prochan.com/view?p=6f3_1344129463]. [[Shit nobody cares about|This song is called "Kampf dem Licht" which translates to "Fight the Light".]]


==The pwnage==


==The pwnage==
It all started out with a nice little bit of puppy love between Matthias and  27 year old medical assistant Bianca [[Breast|Brust]]. Despite his [[desperate]] advances towards her, this resulted in her turning him away like the creep he is. So what does he do now? [[No|Does he go after another girl?]] Does he instead realize that he'll never be able to get any pussy, so instead he just goes back to his own mother, and sucks her on her [[Boobies|teet]]? Nope, not even close. Instead, he strangled her to death, then decapitated her corpse. [[Trying too hard|He also snapped some beautiful pics]]. The rest of the story goes like this  
It all started out with a nice little bit of puppy love between Matthias and  27 year old medical assistant Bianca [[Breast|Brust]]. Despite his [[desperate]] advances towards her, this resulted in her turning him away like the creep he is. So what does he do now? [[No|Does he go after another girl?]] Does he instead realize that he'll never be able to get any pussy, so instead he just goes back to his own mother, and sucks her on her [[Boobies|teet]]? Nope, not even close. Instead, he strangled her to death, then decapitated her corpse. [[Trying too hard|He also snapped some beautiful pics]]. The rest of the story goes like this  


<center>
{{quote|At around 1am on February 21, 2008 Matthias Schoormann logged into a forum he’d been a member of for a long time but never posted on and started a thread titled “Dead Whore” in which he posted the pictures of Bianca’s posed up, decapitated body and her severed head. Most responses the thread received were exactly what you’d expect from t3h interweb: “Fake“, “OP is a fagget“, etc.
{{morphquote|Dubyaquotes|background-color: #ffffff; width:65%; height:250px|font-weight: bold;|At around 1am on February 21, 2008 Matthias Schoormann logged into a forum he’d been a member of for a long time but never posted on and started a thread titled “Dead Whore” in which he posted the pictures of Bianca’s posed up, decapitated body and her severed head. Most responses the thread received were exactly what you’d expect from t3h interweb: “Fake“, “OP is a fagget“, etc.


Forum’s owner then sent a private message to “I H8 U” which was the username Matthias used asking him who he was. Matthias responded by removing all the images from the thread and disappearing never to show up on that or any other forum again.
Forum’s owner then sent a private message to “I H8 U” which was the username Matthias used asking him who he was. Matthias responded by removing all the images from the thread and disappearing never to show up on that or any other forum again.


After the forum fiasco, Matthias Schoormann set his apartment on fire and dashed away in his red Ford Escort with Bianca’s severed head in a backpack. An attentive neighbour noticed the fire and a suspicious escapee and quickly alarmed both the police and firefighters. The authorities found Bianca’s headless body in the apartment but before they could do anything, they learned that Matthias deliberately drove his Ford Escort at a high rate of speed into an oncoming truck, killing himself on the spot with the backpack holding Bianca’s severed head next to him.}}</center>
After the forum fiasco, Matthias Schoormann set his apartment on fire and dashed away in his red Ford Escort with Bianca’s severed head in a backpack. An attentive neighbour noticed the fire and a suspicious escapee and quickly alarmed both the police and firefighters. The authorities found Bianca’s headless body in the apartment but before they could do anything, they learned that Matthias deliberately drove his Ford Escort at a high rate of speed into an oncoming truck, killing himself on the spot with the backpack holding Bianca’s severed head next to him.|center=auto}}
 
== Gallery ==
 
<center><gallery>
File:Whatmatthiasdid.jpg|Pwnd
File:ahtheresthehead.jpg|Ah-ha! I knew I'd lost something
File:Matthias Schoormann 1.jpg
File:Matthias Schoormann 3.jpg
</gallery></center>


==See also==


==See Also==
*[[Necrophilia]]
*[[Necrophilia]]
*[[Forever Alone]]
*[[Forever Alone]]
*[[Black Metal]]
*[[Black Metal]]
*[[Still a better love story than Twilight]]
*[[Still a better love story than Twilight]]
==External links==
*<s>[http://www.lifeofdebauchery.com/forum/profile.php%3Fmode%3Dviewprofile%26u%3D7258&usg=ALkJrhhYVUjNkSCckWo0MYG77L1ADSbAmQ/ His LoD account]</s> 404'd
*<s>[http://www.lifeofdebauchery.com/forum/viewtopic.php%3Ft%3D32265%26highlight%3D%26sid%3Df4dc1f521b67b4fc9fd5ca61498fbe75&usg=ALkJrhh7Ane_HP7sgOV9baFSafUPoH_FnQ/ The original thread]</s> Also Dead.
{{music}}
{{anheroes}}

Latest revision as of 21:57, 3 January 2014

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This page contains an hero.
Look at him.
The car lost.

Matthias Schoormann is a sick fuck, black metal musician, a 1337 haxx0r, and an hero.

His music career

While his musical career (if you could even call it that) was short lived, he was however, a member of a band called "Carpe Noctem", which translates to "Seize the Night". There is a song which you can listen to here [1]. This song is called "Kampf dem Licht" which translates to "Fight the Light".

The pwnage

It all started out with a nice little bit of puppy love between Matthias and 27 year old medical assistant Bianca Brust. Despite his desperate advances towards her, this resulted in her turning him away like the creep he is. So what does he do now? Does he go after another girl? Does he instead realize that he'll never be able to get any pussy, so instead he just goes back to his own mother, and sucks her on her teet? Nope, not even close. Instead, he strangled her to death, then decapitated her corpse. He also snapped some beautiful pics. The rest of the story goes like this

   
 
At around 1am on February 21, 2008 Matthias Schoormann logged into a forum he’d been a member of for a long time but never posted on and started a thread titled “Dead Whore” in which he posted the pictures of Bianca’s posed up, decapitated body and her severed head. Most responses the thread received were exactly what you’d expect from t3h interweb: “Fake“, “OP is a fagget“, etc.

Forum’s owner then sent a private message to “I H8 U” which was the username Matthias used asking him who he was. Matthias responded by removing all the images from the thread and disappearing never to show up on that or any other forum again.

After the forum fiasco, Matthias Schoormann set his apartment on fire and dashed away in his red Ford Escort with Bianca’s severed head in a backpack. An attentive neighbour noticed the fire and a suspicious escapee and quickly alarmed both the police and firefighters. The authorities found Bianca’s headless body in the apartment but before they could do anything, they learned that Matthias deliberately drove his Ford Escort at a high rate of speed into an oncoming truck, killing himself on the spot with the backpack holding Bianca’s severed head next to him.
 


 
 

Gallery

See also

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