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Matthias Schoormann: Difference between revisions
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{{An hero}} | |||
[[File:Matthiasschoormann.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Look at him.]] | |||
[[File:Matthias Schoormann 2.jpg|250px|thumb|right|The car lost.]] | |||
'''Matthias Schoormann''' is a [[sick fuck]], [[black metal]] musician, a [[1337|1337 haxx0r]], and [[an hero]]. | |||
==His music career== | |||
While his musical career (if you could even call it that) was short lived, he was however, a member of a band called "Carpe Noctem", which translates to "Seize the Night". There is a song which you can listen to here [https://bestgore.prochan.com/view?p=6f3_1344129463]. [[Shit nobody cares about|This song is called "Kampf dem Licht" which translates to "Fight the Light".]] | While his musical career (if you could even call it that) was short lived, he was however, a member of a band called "Carpe Noctem", which translates to "Seize the Night". There is a song which you can listen to here [https://bestgore.prochan.com/view?p=6f3_1344129463]. [[Shit nobody cares about|This song is called "Kampf dem Licht" which translates to "Fight the Light".]] | ||
==The pwnage== | |||
It all started out with a nice little bit of puppy love between Matthias and 27 year old medical assistant Bianca [[Breast|Brust]]. Despite his [[desperate]] advances towards her, this resulted in her turning him away like the creep he is. So what does he do now? [[No|Does he go after another girl?]] Does he instead realize that he'll never be able to get any pussy, so instead he just goes back to his own mother, and sucks her on her [[Boobies|teet]]? Nope, not even close. Instead, he strangled her to death, then decapitated her corpse. [[Trying too hard|He also snapped some beautiful pics]]. The rest of the story goes like this | |||
{{quote|At around 1am on February 21, 2008 Matthias Schoormann logged into a forum he’d been a member of for a long time but never posted on and started a thread titled “Dead Whore” in which he posted the pictures of Bianca’s posed up, decapitated body and her severed head. Most responses the thread received were exactly what you’d expect from t3h interweb: “Fake“, “OP is a fagget“, etc. | |||
Forum’s owner then sent a private message to “I H8 U” which was the username Matthias used asking him who he was. Matthias responded by removing all the images from the thread and disappearing never to show up on that or any other forum again. | |||
After the forum fiasco, Matthias Schoormann set his apartment on fire and dashed away in his red Ford Escort with Bianca’s severed head in a backpack. An attentive neighbour noticed the fire and a suspicious escapee and quickly alarmed both the police and firefighters. The authorities found Bianca’s headless body in the apartment but before they could do anything, they learned that Matthias deliberately drove his Ford Escort at a high rate of speed into an oncoming truck, killing himself on the spot with the backpack holding Bianca’s severed head next to him.|center=auto}} | |||
== Gallery == | |||
<center><gallery> | |||
File:Whatmatthiasdid.jpg|Pwnd | |||
File:ahtheresthehead.jpg|Ah-ha! I knew I'd lost something | |||
File:Matthias Schoormann 1.jpg | |||
File:Matthias Schoormann 3.jpg | |||
</gallery></center> | |||
==See also== | |||
*[[Necrophilia]] | *[[Necrophilia]] | ||
*[[Forever Alone]] | *[[Forever Alone]] | ||
| Line 29: | Line 35: | ||
*[[Still a better love story than Twilight]] | *[[Still a better love story than Twilight]] | ||
==External links== | |||
*<s>[http://www.lifeofdebauchery.com/forum/profile.php%3Fmode%3Dviewprofile%26u%3D7258&usg=ALkJrhhYVUjNkSCckWo0MYG77L1ADSbAmQ/ His LoD account]</s> 404'd | *<s>[http://www.lifeofdebauchery.com/forum/profile.php%3Fmode%3Dviewprofile%26u%3D7258&usg=ALkJrhhYVUjNkSCckWo0MYG77L1ADSbAmQ/ His LoD account]</s> 404'd | ||
*<s>[http://www.lifeofdebauchery.com/forum/viewtopic.php%3Ft%3D32265%26highlight%3D%26sid%3Df4dc1f521b67b4fc9fd5ca61498fbe75&usg=ALkJrhh7Ane_HP7sgOV9baFSafUPoH_FnQ/ The original thread]</s> Also Dead. | *<s>[http://www.lifeofdebauchery.com/forum/viewtopic.php%3Ft%3D32265%26highlight%3D%26sid%3Df4dc1f521b67b4fc9fd5ca61498fbe75&usg=ALkJrhh7Ane_HP7sgOV9baFSafUPoH_FnQ/ The original thread]</s> Also Dead. | ||
{{music}} | |||
{{anheroes}} | |||
Latest revision as of 21:57, 3 January 2014
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Matthias Schoormann is a sick fuck, black metal musician, a 1337 haxx0r, and an hero.
His music career
While his musical career (if you could even call it that) was short lived, he was however, a member of a band called "Carpe Noctem", which translates to "Seize the Night". There is a song which you can listen to here [1]. This song is called "Kampf dem Licht" which translates to "Fight the Light".
The pwnage
It all started out with a nice little bit of puppy love between Matthias and 27 year old medical assistant Bianca Brust. Despite his desperate advances towards her, this resulted in her turning him away like the creep he is. So what does he do now? Does he go after another girl? Does he instead realize that he'll never be able to get any pussy, so instead he just goes back to his own mother, and sucks her on her teet? Nope, not even close. Instead, he strangled her to death, then decapitated her corpse. He also snapped some beautiful pics. The rest of the story goes like this
Gallery
-
Pwnd -
Ah-ha! I knew I'd lost something -
-
See also
External links
His LoD account404'dThe original threadAlso Dead.
|
Matthias Schoormann is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
