Ragnarok Online

A typical RO enemy.

Typical RO community.

Most common RO enemy.

Well at least they tried.

Ragnarok Online is a shitty Korean MMORPG that is popular with 12 to 16 year olds who have no money and cannot play World of Warcraft. Notable in that unlike most shitty Korean MMOs, this particular one became stupidly popular among those who enjoy timesinks after the surge of private servers transformed a pay-to-play grindfest into a free grindfest.

Ragnarok Online and its distant relative Maple Story undoubtedly have the highest concentration of Wapanese in the MMOG community, and hence the communities of both games are infamous for being intolerable (though in different ways from your standard World of Warcraft or Everquest community). Though the fanbases of both games throw heated debates as to which one is better, the arguments of both sides are pointless to begin with, as all MMOs are terrible regardless.

Gameplay

The game is basically a weeaboo Habbo Hotel with pvp and leveling. Unlike Habbo though, you have to pay 10bux a month to play, making it

Typical fail character

slightly gayer, but the requirement of money scares off trolls. Also, if it's a Private server, be aware that everything in the game will be nerfed besides Assassins.

Rules of NerfingBALANCING Ragnarok Online

1. Classes must be nerfed if they can hit an Assassin.
2. Classes must be nerfed if they survive Sonic Blow.
3. Anyone that can kill an Assassin Cross in War of Emperium must be a hacker.
4. Status effects should be banned/nerfed cause Assassin Cross doesn't have enough vitality to avoid them.
5. Orc Lord card should be banned because Assassin Crosses can take damage from it.

Private Servers

Due to the extreme simplicity of Ragnarok Online's server software, there are over nine thousand (not fucking joking) private servers for this piece of shit, where the amount of experience points gained from killing the same FUCKING GODDAMN PORING 20 times ranges from 1x/1x/1x to 1000000000x/1000000000x/100% with up to level 5000 (normal piece of shit is up to 99). So basically, if you actually dish out the money to play this piece of shit, become an hero.

Customization

Sometimes people will add custom stuff to the game to make it better. You will usually see wings as big as your screen, Chii Ears, or Naruto headbands. If you see this (I won't question why you're even playing it), UNINSTALL.

Typical win Character. Disregard that, I suck cocks. There is no such thing as a win RO character.

Role-Playing Servers

Many private servers are entirely dedicated to using RO's setting and characters for serious, dramatic, character-driven role-playing. For reasons our nation's handsomest scientists have yet to deduce, these always result in out-of-character drama. This could very well be symptomatic of role-playing in RO in general, because this is pretty much the only way you can observe RO role-players without getting AIDS.

The bottom line is that private servers take their shit just as seriously as those who play the real thing, and as such are prime trolling targets.

Classes

Novice

Piece of shit with the ability to become an hero plz.

Supernovice

Piece of shit with the ability to be every other class but still get one hit KO'd. Kind of like giving someone every rigged thing in the game but you still suck.

Swordsman

Typical Melee class. I like swords, amirite? Becomes a Paladin or a Lord Knight, but both classes suck.

Knight/Lord Knight

Really, really boring combat class, and arguably the closest you can come to playing WoW in that all you do is click once and watch your character hit things the whole game.

• Pros: It's impossible to make a bad knight.
• Cons: It's impossible to make a good knight.

Crusader/Paladin

Worse at fighting, which essentially makes you an armored Priest.

• Pros: Can ride a mount, and is nearly invincible.
• Cons: Without the aid of Grand Cross, you're not going to be killing anything, and Grand Cross largely relies on your intended targets being stupid enough to stand right next to you long enough to die from it (this being RO, it sadly works sometimes).

Magician

Does magic tricks. What else must be said?

Wizard/High Wizard

• Pros: Doesn't need to spend a lot of time hunting to be good.
• Cons: Your magic takes just long enough to cast for anything to kill you effortlessly.

Sage/Professor

• Pros: Revolves mostly around fucking with other players' characters, like an inverse Priest.
• Cons: Essentially a weaker Wizard in all aspects.

Archer

Imagine Archer without GAR. It's obvious what they use, but you can become a Clown or a Gypsy with this class. Amazing!

The best part of playing a Hunter.

Hunter/Sniper

• Pros: Amazingly, this is one class that can un-cloak Assassin Crosses. Can shoot from a distance, and quickly at that...
• Cons: ...but you do shit damage unless you spend your next ten years hunting a Thanatos card, in which case you should become an hero. It should be noted that since this is the only class that can reliably hit Assassins, it will generally be horribly nerfed.

Bard/Clown

• Pros: Can freeze the entire screen with a skill; can support your guild and party.
• Cons: Everyone has anti-freeze armor. Most of their skills need a dancer (basically a female bard) nearby to use, which makes them suck even worse because not only are they totally reliant on other players, they're so fucking rare that it's damn near impossible to find even another bard, much less a dancer.

Dancer/Gypsy Girl bard. Basically no difference from their male counterparts, except for the fact that their skills aren't as good, mainly because women are inferior to men. Every other player hits on them; thus, most dancers are male. Fights with a whip.

Thief

99% of any server population will have one of these, as thieves are so easy to play you'd be dumb not to have one. Goes to Assassin Cross or Stalker, which are badass, cool, and sexy.

Assassin/Assassin Cross

• Pros: Kills everyone in one shot with Sonic Blow, not to mention they can hide, making them nearly invincible.
• Cons: Everyone uses cheats to see you. The only way you can do any good damage is if you hunt for over 9000 ingredients and brew poison bottles for a 1% success chance. Soul Destroyer is worthless compared to Sonic Blow.
• PROTIP: For mega-lulz, give a poison bottle to a n00b and inform them that using it will increase the user's attack speed and power. Break out the popcorn for the ensuing butthurt.

Rogue/Stalker

Notable in that this is the one class that used to utterly dominate the game, but has been nerfed to hell and back by Gravity for being too good, making them novelties at best by now. Your choices are: a weak Assassin variant, a weak Bowman variant, or (with the proper setup) a weak Wizard variant.

• Pros: Can strip the enemy naked, ready for penetration.
• Cons: 99% of players have a buff that renders your best skill useless, and all other skills are useless. Period.

Acolyte

The game's pussy.

Priest/High Priest

• Pros: Can heal and buff.
• Cons: Can ONLY heal and buff, not to mention you are entitled to play catcher for everyone else on the server once you become a priest.
  • Note that this class can be easily used to piss people off by simply refusing to cooperate with others.

Monk/Champion

Fucking one-trick-pony combat class.

• Pros: They have Asura Strike, which one-hit-kills much like the Assassin Cross, and other abilities including becoming invincible to Snipers.
• Cons: Their only worthwhile skill is Asura Strike. Then after Asura Strike, they're fucked over and raped in the ass after a Paladin comes to inject PRESSURE.

Merchant

Guess, faggot. Okay, too hard for you? They sell stuff.

BlackNiggersmith/WhiteMastersmith

Weren't they just fucking creative when they came up with "Whitesmith?" These guys are the class equivalent of jews. Semi-decent, but costs a metric fuckton of money because their strongest and only worthwhile attack costs over 9000 money to cast. Blacksmith evolves into Whitesmith, which proves that whites are in fact superior to niggers.

• Pros: Can carry shit loads of shit; can troll in PvP by breaking everyone's equipment.
• Cons: No ranged skills.

Alchemist/Creator

Potion bitch up until they become creators, and then all they're good for is monster killing because none of their shit works on players.

• Pros: Homoncululz kills monsters, Acid Demonstration kills people. 'Nuff said.
• Cons: Both suck unless your enemy has high vit, meaning you are limited to picking on Paladins and Lord Knights (though the fact that your weak ass can bring down the two tanks is amusing, and will piss both classes off to no end).

Taekwon

An "extended" class, a.k.a. one of the new classes Gravity added because this fucking game is old and they needed more Koreans to play. Kicks with their feet unless you're a Soul Linker. They (and all variants) usually die in one hit, unless you become a "Ranker" by devoting thousands of hours to killing additional random monsters.

Soul Linker

Take a terrible melee character, and make it into a priest variant. That's a Soul Linker in a nutshell.

• Pros: Can buff the other classes to make them stronger; good against monsters since they have an obscene damage output.
• Cons: Comes with all the downsides of a priest, with the extra foot-in-the-balls of not being able to heal yourself and dying the instant something breathes on you.

Star Gladiator

The alternative path for Taekwons. Still dies in one hit.

• Pros: Ridiculous damage means that they can destroy bosses with the proper setup.
• Cons: Completely worthless without an entire party devoted to keeping it alive, including a Soul Linker and about 15 different buffs.

Gunslingers

Another extended character, released alongside the Ninjas. Brings interesting choices to the game while still letting you die in one hit. Also, people use this class to look badass like Assassin Cross, but don't come close.

• Pros: A sniper variant, with a wide variety of equipment and skills.
• Cons: Too bad they all utterly suck. They have even worse damage and HP than snipers, the enemies stand right fucking next to you before you even start shooting, and no matter how one may go about raising one, it will have a crippling flaw in any variation. Cannot advance classes.

Ninja

Extended class #3, just for the weeaboo population. The alternative to Assassins for Narutards. Uses knives, throwing stars, or ninjutsu magic.

• Pros: Can teleport to avoid damage when attacked; can hit from a distance.
• Cons: They die in one hit once their SP runs out, leaving them unable to teleport like the cowardly faggots they are. Even worse, the mage variant is the only one that gets any SP to teleport with. Like gunslingers, they can't advance classes.

Can't get married, looks like this server hates faggots!

Contrary to popular belief, girls actually do play! Wait, what? Is that a girl?

In-Game Marriage

Yes, you can get married in this game, sadly. Marriage is usually used to make a Baby class, which, ironically, beats the fuck out of every other class. Also, it seems that fags have complained hopelessly about the fact that same sex marriages cannot happen. Obviously, it's because you can't make a fucking baby, but they think that it's the thought that counts. Some servers have opted to add this feature, but come on people, why are you actually caring about who the hell you marry in a game? It's just another guy anyways. OH SHI-

Trolling Techniques

1) Join PVP with a novice for ensured lulz. Troll and watch players go in fag mode (This works best with Trick Dead, the Novice skill, beware of ranged attackers!)

2) Ask a friend for his alchemist/ biochemist/creator and AFK hunt with it (This is better done in a server where this is against the rules).

3) Use dead branches (monster summoning item) in a commonly frequented place, use an assassin or assassin cross and cloaking to enjoy people getting butthurt.

4) Buff people's monsters to make sure they die and not the intended target(s).

5) As mentioned above *PROTIP: For mega-lulz, give a poison bottle to a n00b and inform them that using it will increase the user's attack speed and power. Break out the popcorn for the ensuing butthurt.

6) Using ranged attacks to kill other player's monster(s) and immediately fly winging (teleporting away).

7) Luring mobs and dropping them on AFK players (cloaking/fly wing recommended).

8) Using a mob attack to kill another player's mob(s) and immediately fly wing.

9) Hack into the novice training grounds and spam dead branches.

10) Getting kills in PVP with Super Novice.

11) Continuosly ask Acolytes / Priests / High priests for buffs, itams and healz, even if you already have them, continue to do this until the player logs off or teleports.

12) Spam trade requests until the person blocks you or walks off.

13) Make fun of people who paid to play in the official server.

14) Make comments about how Maple Story is better.

15) Use an Acolyte class character and warp n00bs to dangerous places.

16) Alternatively, play an Acolyte and refuse to heal anyone.

17) Spam skills in a highly populated town, raping the shitty computers and connections of all the surrounding players in the process.

18) Tell anyone that's having problems to delete their "data.grf" file.

19) Tell an Assassin Cross in PVP to get more buffs.

20) Be the cause of the beginning of a guild flame war between 2 or more guilds. Extra points if the opposing guilds are Brazilian or French.

Note that any GM activity including monster summoning and mass carnage of players can be considered trolling (however, this can be disguised as an "event").

21) Get a Hunter class and waste your skill points for a Talkie Box. Get a Cloaking equipment and leave talkie boxes in towns. Don't forget to type "I am gay" or "I love cocks".

External Links

• Official Site
• Private Servers

Ragnarok Online is part of a series on MMORPGs.

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