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Epic Beard Man: Difference between revisions

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[[File:EBM - Mortal Combat.gif|thumb|Finish him.]]
[[Image:EBM - Mortal Combat.gif|thumb|Finish him.]]
[[File:Tom_slick.png|thumb|Epic Beard Man: Killing Machine]]
[[Image:Tom_slick.png|thumb|Epic Beard Man: Killing Machine]]
[[File:Technoviking epic beard man.jpg|thumb|Like Father Like Son]]
[[Image:Technoviking epic beard man.jpg|thumb|Like Father Like Son]]
[[File:Motherfucker_is_one.jpg|thumb|[[Fact]].]]
[[Image:Motherfucker_is_one.jpg|thumb|[[Fact]].]]
[[File:EBM-1.jpg|thumb]]
[[Image:EBM-1.jpg|thumb]]
<!-- [[File:EBM-2.jpg|thumb]] -->
<!-- [[Image:EBM-2.jpg|thumb]] -->


'''Epic Beard Man''' ('''Thomas Alexander Bruso'''&mdash;a.k.a. '''Vietnam Tom''' a.k.a. '''Tom Slick''' a.k.a. '''I AM A MOTHERFUCKER''': not to be confused with ''[[Wise Beard Man]]''.) is a 67 year old war veteran who gained internet fame on February 16th, 2010 in a video which was filmed by [[Sheneequa|Iyanna Washington]] and was posted to [[YouTube]]. In the video, our [[Whitey|elderly hero]] finds himself confronted by a racially sensitive and unreasonably angry drunk [[black]] man. Epic Beard Man subsequently surprises us by delivering a beat down so crushing in its righteousness that it has touched the scrotum of Jesus himself. Predictably enough, [[lulz]] ensued and [[b/|4chan]] dropped everything to crown their new [[peter|King]]. Epic Beard Man is a [[pretty cool guy|MOTHER FUCKER]]. He even has the shirt to prove it. [[Street Fighter|Take dat nigga.]]


'''Epic Beard Man''' ('''Thomas Alexander Bruso''' aka '''Vietnam Tom''' aka '''Tom Slick''' aka '''I AM A MOTHERFUCKER''' ; not to be confused with ''[[Wise Beard Man]]'') is a 67 year old war veteran who gained internet fame on February 16th, 2010 in a video which was filmed by [[Sheneequa|Iyanna Washington]] and was posted to [[YouTube]]. In the video, our [[whitey|elderly hero]] finds himself confronted by a racially sensitive and unreasonably angry drunk [[black]] man. Epic Beard Man subsequently surprises us by delivering a beat down so crushing in its righteousness that it has touched the scrotum of Jesus himself. Predictably enough, [[lulz]] ensued and [[b|4chan]] dropped everything to crown their new [[peter|King]]. Epic Beard Man is a [[pretty cool guy|MOTHER FUCKER]]. He even has the shirt to prove it.
== The Videos ==


==The Videos==
<!-- lQJFv9SMSMQ and u5fnjFVPCek are the originals - all else is channel-view faggotry from douchebags leeching off ED; eat a bag of dicks. -->
<!-- lQJFv9SMSMQ and u5fnjFVPCek are the originals - all else is channel-view faggotry from douchebags leeching off ED.  eat a bag of dicks. -->


[[File:epic-beard-man-victim-before-after.jpg|thumb|Get me Amberlamps, pl0x!]]
[[Image:epic-beard-man-victim-before-after.jpg|thumb|Get me Amberlamps, pl0x!]]


<center>
<center>{{fv|vid1|background-color:lightgrey;text-align:center;|font-weight: bold;
{{fv|vid1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>lQJFv9SMSMQ</youtube>
|<youtube>lQJFv9SMSMQ</youtube>
<center><b>The original.</b></center>
;The original
|<youtube>u5fnjFVPCek</youtube>
|<youtube>u5fnjFVPCek</youtube>
<center><b>The aftermath.</b></center>
;The aftermath
}}</center>
}}</center>


==Michael speaks out==
== Michael speaks out ==
 
<center><youtube>4I1r3dhMUO4</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>4I1r3dhMUO4</youtube></center>


Note how he can suddenly speak perfect English for the radio after his [[ebonics|gangsta rap patter]] on the bus. One can only conclude that he was indeed yelling for the beautiful siren Amber Lamps to come to his rescue. Meanwhile, [[President Obama]] has invited Vietnam Tom and Michael for a beer at the White House to patch things up.
Note how he can suddenly speak perfect [[English]] for the radio after his [[Ebonics|gangsta rap patter]] on the bus. One can only conclude that he was indeed yelling for the beautiful siren Amber Lamps to come to his rescue. Meanwhile, [[President Obama]] has invited Vietnam Tom and Michael for a beer at the White House to patch things up.
 
== The Recap ==
 
=== Summary of the Incident ===


==The Recap==
Epic Beard Man (EBM) misheard a young black man and thought he offered to shine EBM's shoes. Since EBM needed some shoe shinin' done, he asked how much shining his Stacy Adams would cost. Mistaking EBM for a racist that thinks all blacks shine shoes, Michael takes off his glasses and starts getting his bug-eye going. EBM stated that he misheard the young man and that he doesn't have to shine his shoes, that he is not a racist and that anyone could shine his shoes. The angry young man presses further on with his accusations, threatening to put his foot up EBM's ass. EBM denies this proposition and goes to the front of the bus to try to avoid any physical confrontation. Michael runs up to the front (with support of onlooking passengers) and attempts to throw a left hook at EBM, and gets [[Pwned|wrecked]] immediately by an amazingly effective straight left punch after a feinting quick right.
===Summary of the Incident===
Epic Beard Man (EBM) misheard a young black man and thought he offered to shine EBM's shoes. Since EBM needed some shoe shinin' done, he asked how much shining his Stacy Adams would cost. Mistaking EBM for a racist that thinks all blacks shine shoes, Michael takes off his glasses and starts getting his bug-eye going. EBM stated that he misheard the young man and that he doesn't have to shine his shoes, that he is not a racist and that anyone could shine his shoes. The angry young man presses further on with his accusations, threatening to put his foot up EBM's ass. EBM denies this proposition and goes to the front of the bus to try to avoid any physical confrontation. Michael runs up to the front (with support of onlooking passengers) and attempts to throw a left hook at EBM, and gets [[Pwned|wrecked]] immediately by an amazingly effective straight left punch after a feinting quick right.  


The event occured on Bus Number 3057 of the AC transit system at the corner of 20th Street and Webster Street in Oakland headed towards the West Oakland. West Oakland is, incidentally, one of the less pleasant areas of the Oakland, in which [[USI]] is off the charts. The internet has exploded with discussion of the video, due in part to the old man's t-shirt (I AM A MOTHERFUCKER) and partly because a young black guy gets his shit handed to him by an old white dude.
The event occured on Bus Number 3057 of the AC transit system at the corner of 20th Street and Webster Street in Oakland headed towards the West Oakland. West Oakland is, incidentally, one of the less pleasant areas of the Oakland, in which [[USI]] is off the charts. The internet has exploded with discussion of the video, due in part to the old man's t-shirt (I AM A MOTHERFUCKER) and partly because a young black guy gets his shit handed to him by an old white dude.


==The Birth of Meme Quadruplets==
== The Birth of Meme Quadruplets ==
 
The incident brought about the birth of four [[forced meme|unforced]] meme quadruplets. In addition to the '''Epic Beard Man''' meme the other three memes are called:
The incident brought about the birth of four [[forced meme|unforced]] meme quadruplets. In addition to the '''Epic Beard Man''' meme the other three memes are called:


'''I am a motherfucker''': What was written on the shirt that Epic Beard Man wore.<br>
'''I am a motherfucker''': What was written on the shirt that Epic Beard Man wore.<br />
'''Amber Lamps''': The mispronunciation of ambulance by Michael, it is also the name given to the pretty girl in purple tights who was too pretty to give a shit about the whole affair because she is obviously not human.<br>
'''Amber Lamps''': The mispronunciation of ambulance by Michael, it is also the name given to the pretty girl in purple tights who was too pretty to give a shit about the whole affair because she is obviously not human.<br />
'''Bring M&Ms''': Another mispronunciation of ambulance.<br>
'''Bring M&Ms''': Another mispronunciation of ambulance.


This memes are used as the titles of [[over 9000]] videos that are circulating Youtube.
These memes are used as the titles of [[over 9000]] videos that are circulating Youtube.


The crazy old fart is a hero not only to /b/tards, but to everyone that appreciates [[irony]]. EBM isn't racist, but most of [[Channers|his fans]] are. Channers are [[basement dwelling]] [[neckbeard|neckbeards]] who would wet their pants if they met a real angry black man in real life so it is understandable that they would make EBM their hero. Furthermore, Channers have never come close to a beautiful woman so it is also understandable that they would make the girl in purple tights their new queen.
The crazy old fart is a hero not only to /b/tards, but to everyone that appreciates [[irony]]. EBM isn't racist, but most of [[Channers|his fans]] are.


==Remixes==
== Remixes ==
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|<youtube>A3LK1CChb08</youtube>
|<youtube>A3LK1CChb08</youtube>
|<youtube>OTNfT0N-SV8</youtube>
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==Notable Quotes==  
== Notable Quotes ==
<center>
 
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|I meet tough guys like you an' I slap the SHIT out of em'!|Beard aka EBM telling the truth|Go true dat shit, AHAA HA!|Bitch upon stealing an old mans bag|BRANG AMBERLAMPS!|<s>Victim</s> Perpetrator|NO, BRING M&MS!|Michael|SAY IT AG'N SAY IT AG'N PINKY! BEAT his white ass BEE HIS ASS!(pounds on seat in succession with last 3 syllables)|Iyanna Wannawatchabeatdown|KNOCK IT OUUUUUUFFFFFFF!!!| Dave Chappelle?|...|[[EBM#Annex_1:_Amber_Lamps|Amber Lamps]]}}|border=lightblue|background=white}}
<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|I meet tough guys like you an' I slap the SHIT out of em'!|Beard aka EBM telling the truth|Go true dat shit, AHAA HA!|Bitch upon stealing an old mans bag|BRANG AMBERLAMPS!|<s>Victim</s> Perpetrator|NO, BRING M&MS!|Michael|SAY IT AG'N SAY IT AG'N PINKY! BEAT his white ass BEE HIS ASS!(pounds on seat in succession with last 3 syllables)|Iyanna Wannawatchabeatdown|KNOCK IT OUUUUUUFFFFFFF!!!| Dave Chappelle?|...|[[Amber Lamps]]}}|border=lightblue|background=white}}</center>
</center>
{{clear}}
{{clear}}


==Gallery==
== Gallery ==
<!-- we know you're all hot to add your hilarious images, but do it at the END of the gallery, please. also, amber lamps has her own gallery at the bottom of the page -->
 
{{cg|'''Epic Beard Gallery'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery>File:Technoviking epic beard man.jpg|Like Father Like Son
<!-- we know you're all hot to add your hilarious images, but do it at the END of the gallery, please. also, amber lamps has her own gallery at the bottom of the page -->
 
{{cg|'''Epic Beard Gallery'''|fcgallery|center|<gallery>
File:Technoviking epic beard man.jpg|Like Father Like Son
File:X_in_my_y.jpg| [[X%3F_In_My_Y%3F| X? in my Y?]]
File:X_in_my_y.jpg| [[X%3F_In_My_Y%3F| X? in my Y?]]
File:EBMlogo.jpg
File:EBMlogo.jpg
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File:Da_ambalamps.jpg
File:Da_ambalamps.jpg
File:Ambulance_hail.jpg
File:Ambulance_hail.jpg
File:Blackbetty.jpg| Damn thing went wild.
File:Blackbetty.jpg|Damn thing went wild.
File:Amberlampssp.jpg‎|Jesus Christ!
File:Amberlampssp.jpg‎|Jesus Christ!
File:Epicbeardmanwin.jpg‎| Hell yeah
File:EBM_Xbox_kid_meme.png|[[360 kid|The great thing about being a motherfucker is not whooping a nigra ass, it's showing everyone online that i did]].
File:1266461154006.png|[[360 kid|The great thing about being a motherfucker is not whooping a nigra ass, it's showing everyone online that i did]].
File:Epic_beard_man_tote_contents.jpg|A book in EBM's tote bag indicates he is as smart as he is lethal
File:Abalaps.jpg|Get me [[911|Amberlamps]].
File:Abalaps.jpg|Get me [[911|Amberlamps]].
File:Advice dog ebm.jpg
File:EBM-amber_lamps.png|How it happened
File:Epic Beard Man in 1996.jpg|Before becoming Epic Beard Man, he was Epic Bread Man.
File:Epic Beard Man in 1996.jpg|Before becoming Epic Beard Man, he was Epic Bread Man.
File:Lolberry.jpg|NAO WAT
File:AmberLamps.png|Picture of the actual Amber Lamps called to the scene.
File:Bambi.jpg | Like a deer in the headlights.
File:Ambulancebeardman.jpg|BRING DA AMBER LA_ oh shit.
File:AmberLamps.gif| Picture of the actual Amber Lamps called to the scene.
File:Ambulancebeardman.jpg| BRING DA AMBER LA_ oh shit.
File:BrangMnMs.jpg
File:BrangMnMs.jpg
File:ThisIsACTRANSIT.jpg
File:ThisIsACTRANSIT.jpg
File:Goofyamberlamps.png
File:EBM fuck yeah.png
File:takinoutthetrash3.jpg| One survived
File:EBM-RAGE-COMIC.jpg
File:EBM perp.jpg
File:EBM fuck yeah.jpg
File:EBMRAGE.jpg
File:groceries fame.jpg
File:groceries fame.jpg
File:AmberlampsVertical1.png|[[oh exploitable|OH EXPLOITABLE!]]
File:AmberlampsVertical1.jpg|[[oh exploitable|OH EXPLOITABLE!]]
File:Motherfucker2.jpg
File:Motherfucker2.jpg
File:MANDM.png
File:EBM - MandM.jpg
File:Epicbeardman34.jpg|[[Rule 34]]
File:Epicbeardman34.jpg|[[Rule 34]]
File:Amberlampsfamily.png
File:Amberlampsfamily.png
File:EBMyahoo.png |With the power of Amber Lamps he can cure AIDS.
File:EBM-amber_lamps.png|Do not troll EBM.
File:EBM-amber_lamps.png|Do not troll EBM.
Image:EBG_DOX.jpg
File:EBG_DOX_2.jpg
Image:Ebg_google.jpg|Spreading the anti-negro rage.
File:Beardman is related to hercules.jpg|Clearly his family tree proves that Beardman is epic.
File:Beardman is related to hercules.jpg|Clearly his family tree proves that Beardman is epic.
File:ACBusStreetFightAfterMatch.jpg.jpg
File:AC-Bus_Street-Fight-Aftermath.jpg
File:1266379683026.png
File:1266379683026.png
File:Spitshine_or_spit_blood.jpg
File:Spitshine_or_spit_blood.jpg
File:Rambomotherfucker.jpg|rEBMo: First blood
File:Rambo-motherfucker.jpg|rEBMo: First blood
File:Amber_Lamps.jpg|better get your amber lamps ready
File:RAMIREZ_AMBERLAMPS.jpg</gallery>|}}
File:RAMIREZ_AMBERLAMPS.jpg</gallery>|}}


==The EBM Documentary==
== The EBM Documentary ==
 
Nathan Maas and Aaron Curry filmed a documentary on EBM. It gives us insight into just how fucking epic this guy is. Oh, and EBM's friend (conveniently black), reassures us that EBM is not racist. He's just a motherfucker that knows how to kick ass.
Nathan Maas and Aaron Curry filmed a documentary on EBM. It gives us insight into just how fucking epic this guy is. Oh, and EBM's friend (conveniently black), reassures us that EBM is not racist. He's just a motherfucker that knows how to kick ass.


<center>
<center>{{fv|vid3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
{{fv|vid3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>AedJy9tAYL4</youtube>
|<youtube>AedJy9tAYL4</youtube>
|<youtube>uRkeSjn5Dv8</youtube>
|<youtube>uRkeSjn5Dv8</youtube>
}}</center>
}}</center>


==The EBM animation fight==
== The EBM animation fight ==
 
DragonMaster Dan created EBM animation with DJ Relapse music
DragonMaster Dan created EBM animation with DJ Relapse music
<center>
<youtube>IHdCxLVVHXM</youtube>
</center>


==Interview with Iyanna Washington==
<center><youtube>IHdCxLVVHXM</youtube></center>
<center>
 
{{fv|vid4|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
== Interview with Iyanna Washington ==
 
<center>{{fv|vid4|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>DSe3jABIyC4</youtube>
|<youtube>DSe3jABIyC4</youtube>
<center>''Notice the distinct odor of [[bullshit]] that emits from this video.<br>It should be pointed out that Iyanna was the woman shouting inflammatory<br>comments from behind the camera, and more importantly she filmed<br>herself stealing EBM's shopping bag.<br>Dopey bitch.''</center>
<center>''Notice the distinct odor of [[bullshit]] that emits from this video.<br>It should be pointed out that Iyanna was the woman shouting inflammatory<br>comments from behind the camera, and more importantly she filmed<br>herself stealing EBM's shopping bag.<br>Dopey bitch.''</center>
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}}</center>


==Thomas Bruso==
== Thomas Bruso ==
 
[[Image:1266388995706.jpg|thumb|right|]]
[[Image:1266388995706.jpg|thumb|right|]]


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<center><youtube>55cXfj3jEHg</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>55cXfj3jEHg</youtube></center>


==BAG IS RETRIEVED==
== BAG IS RETRIEVED ==
 
New interview with EBM. He states that the cop returns the bag to him, and he talks about how that bitch stole the bag right on camera.
New interview with EBM. He states that the cop returns the bag to him, and he talks about how that bitch stole the bag right on camera.


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==Interview with Epic Beard Man==
==Interview with Epic Beard Man==
Despite the preceeding bullshit dutifully reported by the media, the truth of the incident was finally told by the motherfucker himself in the following interview.
Despite the preceeding bullshit dutifully reported by the media, the truth of the incident was finally told by the motherfucker himself in the following interview.
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The truth is that EBM just [[Glenn Beck|loves his country]], and still hasn't got his belongings back. Some anons, deluding themselves that they would dare go near a black person in real life for fear of getting their own asses beaten, have decided that this serious injustice against the elderly warhero must be set to rights. Enter Operation I AM A MOTHERFUCKER. And remember above all else, Epic Beard Man LOVES HIS MOMMA!


The truth is that EBM just [[Glenn Beck|loves his country]], and still hasn't got his belongings back. Some anons, deluding themselves that they would dare go near a black person in real life for fear of getting their own asses beaten, have decided that this serious injustice against the elderly warhero must be set to rights. Enter Operation I AM A MOTHERFUCKER.  And remember above all else, Epic Beard Man LOVES HIS MOMMA!
== Insanity? ==


==Insanity?==
An [http://www.cracked.com/article_18725_the-truth-about-epic-beard-man-viral-video.html article] on Cracked.com states that EBM is actually [[bipolar|insane]] and points out facts that the seething masses of dumb-fucks did not notice. In a nutshell, the article says:
An [http://www.cracked.com/article_18725_the-truth-about-epic-beard-man-viral-video.html article] on Cracked.com states that EBM is actually [[bipolar|insane]] and points out facts that the seething masses of dumb-fucks did not notice. In a nutshell, the article says:
* The "young" black guy is actually fifty years old. The guy says it on the video, and it's even there on the transcript above. Did you miss that fact? Everyone else did too, don't worry.
* The "young" black guy is actually fifty years old. The guy says it on the video, and it's even there on the transcript above. Did you miss that fact? Everyone else did too, don't worry.
* EBM claims to have gone to Vietnam for the war. Turns out, he was honorably discharged due to, get this, [[ror|mental illness]].
* EBM claims to have gone to Vietnam for the war. Turns out, he was honorably discharged due to, get this, [[ror|mental illness]].
* Fun fact: Bipolar people are prone to lie a lot. His interviews after the video included a [[lie|claim]] that during the confrontation, the black guy pulled a knife on him, and punched him in the jaw. Even though he totally didn't do any of that in the video. The lies don't stop there. He claims to have punched his father out at 15 and been put in the oven by his mother while he was a baby. EBM's sister said NONE of this ever happened. Who do you trust, [[Epic Beard Man|''discharged for mental illness'']] or [[woman|the guy's mentally sound sister?]] I think we all know [[EBM|the answer]] to that question
* Fun fact: Bipolar people are prone to lie a lot. His interviews after the video included a [[lie|claim]] that during the confrontation, the black guy pulled a knife on him, and punched him in the jaw. Even though he totally didn't do any of that in the video. The lies don't stop there. He claims to have punched his father out at 15 and been put in the oven by his mother while he was a baby. EBM's sister said NONE of this ever happened. Who do you trust, [[Epic Beard Man|''discharged for mental illness'']] or [[woman|the guy's mentally sound sister?]] I think we all know [[EBM|the answer]] to that question
* Other [[batshit]] quotes include '"I know you're goin' crazy, too," he told the dog.', "I'm out of my mind and can't think anymore", and '"I can't even remember yesterday, to tell you the truth," he says. "Half the time, I don't even know what I'm saying. I ramble and ramble. I get high and happy and I just start talking."'
* Other [[batshit]] quotes include '"I know you're goin' crazy, too," he told the dog.', "I'm out of my mind and can't think anymore", and '"I can't even remember yesterday, to tell you the truth," he says. "Half the time, I don't even know what I'm saying. I ramble and ramble. I get high and happy and I just start talking."'
* Honestly, doesn't wearing a shirt that says "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER" just SCREAM crazy hobo?
* Honestly, doesn't wearing a shirt that says "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER" just SCREAM crazy hobo?
* Altough we cannot forget the main fact: He is way too epic to be insane!
* Altough we cannot forget the main fact: He is way too epic to be insane!


==Epic Beard Man: The Game==
== Epic Beard Man: The Game ==
 
Cause an Epic Man needs an [http://www.yoyogames.com/games/116857-epic-beard-man-ftw Epic Game!!]
Cause an Epic Man needs an [http://www.yoyogames.com/games/116857-epic-beard-man-ftw Epic Game!!]


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Play as the heroic Epic Beard Man and get your bag back off the bus, punching-out idiot homeboys along the way!!!
Play as the heroic Epic Beard Man and get your bag back off the bus, punching-out idiot homeboys along the way!!!


==Annex 1: Amber Lamps==
== Annex 1: Amber Lamps ==
Amber Lamps, teh lady in purple spandex. How come you paid no attention to what was going on? You are just too good to get distracted by humans. [[So ronery|Teh queen, MY queen, t3h 4mb0r L4mpz]].  She's a pretty cool girl. She lives in the hood and doesn't afraid of anything.


<center>
Amber Lamps, teh bitch in purple spandex. How come you paid no attention to what was going on? You are just too good to get distracted by humans. [[So ronery|Teh queen, MY queen, t3h 4mb0r L4mpz]]. She's a pretty dirty slut. She lives in teh hood and doesn't afraid of anything.
{{fv|vid6|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
 
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|<youtube>x3bJEVt1lZg</youtube>
|<youtube>x3bJEVt1lZg</youtube>
|<youtube>sQLT1AaDZug</youtube>
|<youtube>sQLT1AaDZug</youtube>
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{{cg|'''Amber Lamps'''|fcgallery1|center|<gallery>Image:1266378123898.jpg|Amber Lamps is too beautiful to care
{{cg|'''Amber Lamps'''|fcgallery1|center|<gallery>
Image:Amber lamps.jpg
File:1266378123898.jpg|Amber Lamps is too beautiful to care
Image:Amberlampscare.jpg|She never cared at all
File:Amber_Lamps.jpg|better get your amber lamps ready
File:Amberlampscare.jpg|She never cared at all
File:Amberlampsmotivator.jpg</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Amberlampsmotivator.jpg</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Technoviking_epic_beard_man.jpg|Like Father Like Son
File:Ambulance-Amber-Lamps.jpg
Image:Ambulance2_copy.png|
Image:DIW_Amber_lamps.jpg|Amber Lamps
File:Oh_lawdy_amberlamps.jpg|Oh lawdy! Is dat sum Amber Lamps?
File:Oh_lawdy_amberlamps.jpg|Oh lawdy! Is dat sum Amber Lamps?
File:AmberLamps34.jpg|Amber Lamps. So calm, so genteel in the face of a [[Rule 34]]
File:AmberLamps34.jpg|Amber Lamps. So calm, so genteel in the face of a [[Rule 34]]
File:AmberLampsLaw.jpg
File:AmberLampsLaw.jpg
File:1266378123898.jpg| Amber Lamps.
File:1266378123898.jpg|Amber Lamps.
File:Amberlamps.jpg | Just too beautiful to care.
File:Amberlamps.jpg|Just too beautiful to care.
File:Whynot.png |More Rule34!
File:Youaxed4it.jpg |And here it is.
File:Amberlamps3.JPG‎
File:Amberlamp.jpg | Amber lamp
File:Literalamberlamps.jpg|Literal Amber Lamps
File:Amberlampsfanart.png|Fanart
File:Amberlampsfanart.png|Fanart
File:Amberlampsfanart2.png|Moar fanart.
File:Amberlampsfanart2.png|Moar fanart.
File:Amberlampsrule34.png|[[Rule 34]]</gallery>|}}
File:Amberlampsrule34.png|[[Rule 34]]</gallery>|}}


[[Anonymous|Anonymous]] loves you Amber Lamps, you ride public transit and doesn't afraid of anything. A [[success]] to all [[b|/b/]] and shall become a [[meme]] of [[epic]] win. Oh sweet queen, the [[Internet|internets]] will forever remember you for your stone cold resolve and your lamps of amber.
[[Anonymous|Anonymous]] loves you Amber Lamps, you ride public transit and doesn't afraid of anything. A [[success]] to all [[b/|/b/]] and shall become a [[meme]] of [[epic]] win. Oh sweet queen, the [[Internet|internets]] will forever remember you for your stone cold resolve and your lamps of amber.
 
== The Epic Fail Man Movie ==


==The Epic Fail Man Movie==
A shitty movie about him is being made, where our now mexican hero beats up evil whiteys.
A shitty movie about him is being made, where our now mexican hero beats up evil whiteys.


<center>
The [http://web.archive.org/web/20130918042958/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UCHk5pFmU original video] was deleted, here is a reupload:
<youtube>U6UCHk5pFmU</youtube>
<center><youtube>BrYx-1yoIGM</youtube></center>
</center>
 
== See Also ==
 
* [[Angry Grandpa]]
* [[Bus Uncle]]
* [[Jimmy McMillan]]
* [[I'M PRESSIN CHARGES]]
* [[Techno Viking]]
* [[Tourette's Guy]]
* [[The Peckham Terminator]]
* [[Wise Beard Man]] (VERY different guy)
* [[Waaaambulance]]
* [[Whistles go whoo]]
 
== External Links ==
 
* [http://tommyslick.com tommyslick.com]
* [http://thomasbruso.com thomasbruso.com]
* [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/528307 Excellent Parody]
* [http://cbs5.com/video/[email protected] Supposedly fair reporting by racist local news group and it so much bullshit]
* [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_Beard_Man EBM on TOW]


==See Also==
=== YouTube ===
*[[Angry Grandpa]]
*[[Bus Uncle]]
*[[Jimmy McMillan]]
*[[I'M PRESSIN CHARGES]]
*[[Techno Viking]]
*[[Tourette's Guy]]
*[[The Peckham Terminator]]
*[[Wise Beard Man]] (VERY different guy)
*[[Waaaambulance]]
*[[Whistles go whoo]]


==External Links==
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQJFv9SMSMQ The Original Video of Epic Beard Man's Punchout Session]
*[http://tommyslick.com tommyslick.com]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5fnjFVPCek Epic Beard Man says FUCK YOU to the AC Transit Authorities]
*[http://thomasbruso.com thomasbruso.com]
* [http://www.youtube.com/user/EpicBeardMan EpicBeardMan on YouTube]
*[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/528307 Excellent Parody]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY7gCSFocsE A Challenger Appears!]
*[http://cbs5.com/video/?id=[email protected] Supposedly fair reporting by racist local news group and it so much bullshit]
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_Beard_Man EBM on TOW]


===YouTube===
=== FaceBook ===
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQJFv9SMSMQ The Original Video of Epic Beard Man's Punchout Session]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5fnjFVPCek Epic Beard Man says FUCK YOU to the AC Transit Authorities]
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/EpicBeardMan EpicBeardMan on YouTube]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY7gCSFocsE A Challenger Appears!]


===FaceBook===
* [http://www.facebook.com/pages/Epic-Beard-Man/314657635671?ref=nf#!/pages/Epic-Beard-Man/314657635671 EBM Fan Page]
*[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Epic-Beard-Man/314657635671?ref=nf#!/pages/Epic-Beard-Man/314657635671 EBM Fan Page]
* [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000795605288 EBM's Fucking Facebook]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000795605288 EBM's Fucking Facebook]
* [http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=100000795605288 Epic Beard Man's Facebook Account]
*[http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?ref=profile&id=100000795605288 Epic Beard Man's Facebook Account]
* [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=308828864193 EBM Appreciation Society].
*[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=308828864193 EBM Appreciation Society].


{{Afro}}{{Memes}}{{Serious}}{{Trolls}}{{Ytseries}}{{Abnormal Psych}}


{{Afro}}
{{Memes}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 17, [[2010]]|[[Vampiricspektor]]|[[Epic Beard Man]]|[[OMGFacts]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article February 17, [[2010]]|[[Vampiricspektor]]|[[Epic Beard Man]]|[[OMGFacts]]}}
[[Category:2010]]
[[Category:2010]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 19:34, 25 July 2018

Finish him.
Epic Beard Man: Killing Machine
Like Father Like Son
Fact.

Epic Beard Man (Thomas Alexander Bruso—a.k.a. Vietnam Tom a.k.a. Tom Slick a.k.a. I AM A MOTHERFUCKER: not to be confused with Wise Beard Man.) is a 67 year old war veteran who gained internet fame on February 16th, 2010 in a video which was filmed by Iyanna Washington and was posted to YouTube. In the video, our elderly hero finds himself confronted by a racially sensitive and unreasonably angry drunk black man. Epic Beard Man subsequently surprises us by delivering a beat down so crushing in its righteousness that it has touched the scrotum of Jesus himself. Predictably enough, lulz ensued and 4chan dropped everything to crown their new King. Epic Beard Man is a MOTHER FUCKER. He even has the shirt to prove it. Take dat nigga.

The Videos

Get me Amberlamps, pl0x!

The original

The aftermath

Previous Video | Next Video

Michael speaks out

Note how he can suddenly speak perfect English for the radio after his gangsta rap patter on the bus. One can only conclude that he was indeed yelling for the beautiful siren Amber Lamps to come to his rescue. Meanwhile, President Obama has invited Vietnam Tom and Michael for a beer at the White House to patch things up.

The Recap

Summary of the Incident

Epic Beard Man (EBM) misheard a young black man and thought he offered to shine EBM's shoes. Since EBM needed some shoe shinin' done, he asked how much shining his Stacy Adams would cost. Mistaking EBM for a racist that thinks all blacks shine shoes, Michael takes off his glasses and starts getting his bug-eye going. EBM stated that he misheard the young man and that he doesn't have to shine his shoes, that he is not a racist and that anyone could shine his shoes. The angry young man presses further on with his accusations, threatening to put his foot up EBM's ass. EBM denies this proposition and goes to the front of the bus to try to avoid any physical confrontation. Michael runs up to the front (with support of onlooking passengers) and attempts to throw a left hook at EBM, and gets wrecked immediately by an amazingly effective straight left punch after a feinting quick right.

The event occured on Bus Number 3057 of the AC transit system at the corner of 20th Street and Webster Street in Oakland headed towards the West Oakland. West Oakland is, incidentally, one of the less pleasant areas of the Oakland, in which USI is off the charts. The internet has exploded with discussion of the video, due in part to the old man's t-shirt (I AM A MOTHERFUCKER) and partly because a young black guy gets his shit handed to him by an old white dude.

The Birth of Meme Quadruplets

The incident brought about the birth of four unforced meme quadruplets. In addition to the Epic Beard Man meme the other three memes are called:

I am a motherfucker: What was written on the shirt that Epic Beard Man wore.
Amber Lamps: The mispronunciation of ambulance by Michael, it is also the name given to the pretty girl in purple tights who was too pretty to give a shit about the whole affair because she is obviously not human.
Bring M&Ms: Another mispronunciation of ambulance.

These memes are used as the titles of over 9000 videos that are circulating Youtube.

The crazy old fart is a hero not only to /b/tards, but to everyone that appreciates irony. EBM isn't racist, but most of his fans are.

Remixes

Previous Video | Next Video

Notable Quotes

   
“ 		 
I meet tough guys like you an' I slap the SHIT out of em'!
  		„
  		 

—Beard aka EBM telling the truth

   
“ 		 
Go true dat shit, AHAA HA!
  		„
  		 

—Bitch upon stealing an old mans bag

   
“ 		 
BRANG AMBERLAMPS!
  		„
  		 

—Victim Perpetrator

   
“ 		 
NO, BRING M&MS!
  		„
  		 

—Michael

   
“ 		 
SAY IT AG'N SAY IT AG'N PINKY! BEAT his white ass BEE HIS ASS!(pounds on seat in succession with last 3 syllables)
  		„
  		 

—Iyanna Wannawatchabeatdown

   
“ 		 
KNOCK IT OUUUUUUFFFFFFF!!!
  		„
  		 

— Dave Chappelle?

   
“ 		 
...
  		„
  		 

—Amber Lamps

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Gallery

Epic Beard Gallery About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

The EBM Documentary

Nathan Maas and Aaron Curry filmed a documentary on EBM. It gives us insight into just how fucking epic this guy is. Oh, and EBM's friend (conveniently black), reassures us that EBM is not racist. He's just a motherfucker that knows how to kick ass.

Previous Video | Next Video

The EBM animation fight

DragonMaster Dan created EBM animation with DJ Relapse music

Interview with Iyanna Washington

Notice the distinct odor of bullshit that emits from this video.
It should be pointed out that Iyanna was the woman shouting inflammatory
comments from behind the camera, and more importantly she filmed
herself stealing EBM's shopping bag.
Dopey bitch.

Reminder: Nigra caught herself on VIDEO stealing EBM's bag when
 she could have easily given it or thrown it back to him.

More of the racist cunt

Previous Video | Next Video

Thomas Bruso

EBM is none other than Thomas Bruso, a man cops tasered at an Oakland A's game in 2009. After the event, where it took three cops to take him down for refusing to leave because he was carrying booze, Bruso was sent to the nuthouse for evaluation of his badassery. Bruso was once more admitted for a psychological evaluation at the John George Psychiatric Pavilion following the bus incident.

BAG IS RETRIEVED

New interview with EBM. He states that the cop returns the bag to him, and he talks about how that bitch stole the bag right on camera.

More importantly, He is aware of the pwnd guy's response video and (being the badass he is) states that he is more than ready for a rematch. Theres a song thrown there too. Other details include that EBM is a cokehead, and smokes marijuana for his arthritis. All of which makes him a perfect candidate for cage fighting.

Interview with Epic Beard Man

Despite the preceeding bullshit dutifully reported by the media, the truth of the incident was finally told by the motherfucker himself in the following interview.


The truth is that EBM just loves his country, and still hasn't got his belongings back. Some anons, deluding themselves that they would dare go near a black person in real life for fear of getting their own asses beaten, have decided that this serious injustice against the elderly warhero must be set to rights. Enter Operation I AM A MOTHERFUCKER. And remember above all else, Epic Beard Man LOVES HIS MOMMA!

Insanity?

An article on Cracked.com states that EBM is actually insane and points out facts that the seething masses of dumb-fucks did not notice. In a nutshell, the article says:

  • The "young" black guy is actually fifty years old. The guy says it on the video, and it's even there on the transcript above. Did you miss that fact? Everyone else did too, don't worry.
  • EBM claims to have gone to Vietnam for the war. Turns out, he was honorably discharged due to, get this, mental illness.
  • Fun fact: Bipolar people are prone to lie a lot. His interviews after the video included a claim that during the confrontation, the black guy pulled a knife on him, and punched him in the jaw. Even though he totally didn't do any of that in the video. The lies don't stop there. He claims to have punched his father out at 15 and been put in the oven by his mother while he was a baby. EBM's sister said NONE of this ever happened. Who do you trust, discharged for mental illness or the guy's mentally sound sister? I think we all know the answer to that question
  • Other batshit quotes include '"I know you're goin' crazy, too," he told the dog.', "I'm out of my mind and can't think anymore", and '"I can't even remember yesterday, to tell you the truth," he says. "Half the time, I don't even know what I'm saying. I ramble and ramble. I get high and happy and I just start talking."'
  • Honestly, doesn't wearing a shirt that says "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER" just SCREAM crazy hobo?
  • Altough we cannot forget the main fact: He is way too epic to be insane!

Epic Beard Man: The Game

Cause an Epic Man needs an Epic Game!!

Play as the heroic Epic Beard Man and get your bag back off the bus, punching-out idiot homeboys along the way!!!

Annex 1: Amber Lamps

Amber Lamps, teh bitch in purple spandex. How come you paid no attention to what was going on? You are just too good to get distracted by humans. Teh queen, MY queen, t3h 4mb0r L4mpz. She's a pretty dirty slut. She lives in teh hood and doesn't afraid of anything.

Previous Video | Next Video

  • Amber Lamps is too beautiful to care
    Amber Lamps is too beautiful to care
  • better get your amber lamps ready
    better get your amber lamps ready
  • She never cared at all
    She never cared at all
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Oh lawdy! Is dat sum Amber Lamps?
    Oh lawdy! Is dat sum Amber Lamps?
  • Amber Lamps. So calm, so genteel in the face of a Rule 34
    Amber Lamps. So calm, so genteel in the face of a Rule 34
  • Amber Lamps.
    Amber Lamps.
  • Just too beautiful to care.
    Just too beautiful to care.
  • Fanart
    Fanart
  • Moar fanart.
    Moar fanart.
  • Rule 34
    Rule 34

Anonymous loves you Amber Lamps, you ride public transit and doesn't afraid of anything. A success to all /b/ and shall become a meme of epic win. Oh sweet queen, the internets will forever remember you for your stone cold resolve and your lamps of amber.

The Epic Fail Man Movie

A shitty movie about him is being made, where our now mexican hero beats up evil whiteys.

The original video was deleted, here is a reupload:

See Also

External Links

YouTube

FaceBook


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