Tonygreen

This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Fun Fact: His first wife divorced him for spending his childs christmas present money on wurm.

Behold an excellent case study in how obscure and badly coded java games can ruin a man's life and turn cases of autistic individuals into cases mirroring those of Chris-Chan. Tonygreen is but one example, whose exploits have been recorded for posterity's sake as a warning to all of us who may think of treading down his path. This manipulative, narcissistic, hypocritical, homophobic, and disgusting person lies at the end of such a path. For those interested in learning about the Rise and Fall of Tonygreen, proceed onwards.

Rage

Tony has played Wurm Online for a solid 8 years, and will continue playing until either he becomes bankrupt or is arrested for killing his latest wife in a domestic dispute, whichever comes first. He is known for screaming loudly at those who slight his meager intelligence in some way, and being a gigantic child. His existence makes a convincing argument for outlawing being that stupid.

Such a video gives only a taste of how much anger and unoriginal insults a human can muster. His limited vocabulary is shown to consist largely of the words faggot, bitch, retard, and fuck, with the only thing more smaller in number debated to be either the number of friends he has or the number of times he hasn't lied. The only things he has in numerous possession are divorce cases, illegitimate children, unpaid bills, and pounds of body fat.

Preceding the events of the video "State of Spergout of Sol", was an incident in which Tony, in all his wisdom, set an ambush on Mol Rehan by sitting in a cave and waiting for allied reinforcements from Jenn Kellon. Unfortunately, these reinforcements were slow in coming and were intended to be supplementary as opposed to being relied upon. The result was Tony charging out too soon when he saw the Mol Rehan players coming, resulting in him losing what little composure he had and yelling at both his teammates and enemies. His poor leadership skills lead to the entire KOS force being annihilated before reinforcements could arrive. Tony then complained about this until the Jenn Kellon reinforcements decided to kill him a second time for yelling at them.

The saga begins

Tonygreen originally joined wurm in or around 2006, where as a new account he was amazed by the possibilities of a badly coded ugly java game with awful graphics and an inept development team. His sole virtue stands out from this time, in that he was extremely good at finding out bugs and how to exploit them for his own benefit. His own manipulative skills, bank account, and lack of empathy assisted greatly on his rise to power.

He joined the Kingdom of Mol Rehan, and proceeded to gradually exploit the numerous bugs and flaws in the games flimsy coding. His first major success was to curry flavour with the chancellor of Mol Rehan (Horton), who also happened to be high up in Wurms confusingly obtuse and corrupt hierarchy. His next stage was to befriend Lex and abuse her for getting away with numerous ingame exploits, with which he tried to win various encounters in combat. Unfortunately for Tony, his own ineptitude led to him losing most of these.

In 2007, Tonygreen created the account "Goldfishmoo", and using his characteristic playstyle, he very quickly was spotted and his new account had a server-wide "kill on sight" policy placed on it, due to the number of enemies he had created. This eventually got to the point where he was completely incapable of settling anywhere on this account, for going anywhere he would be killed on sight.

As time passed on, he gradually manipulated or bought more people to his side, resulting in the need for both a suitable settlement to house all of his mercenaries and a monument dedicated to vanity. Spending countless months, he slowly destroyed the beautiful landscape around him to build a ridiculously massive mountain fortress named "Mithril Hall". Intended to be the most prestigious and wonderful city in all of Wurm, it much more closely resembled the North Korean city of Pyongyang, with massive and useless monuments and military structures cluttering it up.

This fortress was put to the ultimate test when a powerful and huge army of five climbed up the mountain, bashed a hole in one of the walls, and walked in without so much as a single player resisting them. The reasons for this are speculated to be that just before the raid, Tony forced his cronies to spend money on getting useless trinkets for use in fighting. This led to many persons quitting and leaving his impregnable fortress to be attacked by a tiny number of players. The official response on the behalf of Tony was a complete abandonment of Mithril Hall, where it still rots to this day.

Sweatergate

Around Christmas 2010, Tony decided to buy a rather expensive scale set for 200 euros, with it not only being one of the most expensive and rarest items in the game, but extremely useful in capable hands. Unfortunately, it failed to land in such hands. Tony proceeded to flaunt his armour by walking to north of the Landing on Chaos, where he proceeded to harass and bully several new players to the game. Xallo organized a response force and chased him, to which Tony responded by bravely running away and with much foresight, getting trapped in his own mine. He was killed and lost 200 euros.

Understandably, this would be enough to make many at least take a step back and reconsider the fact they had lost 200 euros in a mere few hours. Tony however, is not your run of the mill sperg, but something much less capable. In perhaps one of the greatest mistakes in modern history, he then proceeded to withdraw the money reserved for his sons Christmas presents and spent it on another scale set, which through his own ineptitude, he managed to lose in the same way by getting trapped in the very same mine and being killed in the exact same way on the very same day.

After losing 400 euros and the last ounce of respect his son ever had for the cretin that he had the misfortune to be descended from, Tony decided to commit to damage control by begging his fellow kingdom members for money to pay for a Christmas gift for his unfortunate child. Knowing that if they gave him actual money, he would frivolously spend it, they all bought his son the most priceless gift one can have for Christmas. A sweater.

Two weeks afterwards, he was permanently banned on several of his accounts for harassment of several players. We'll let you take a guess as to who he targeted for his incoherent ramblings of anger. Unfortunately, given his willingness to blow money on the game, he soon slipped through with another account, aided presumably by the thin layer of slime that his skin extrudes.

Real life autism

In real life, Tonygreen is known for his multiple wives and children, which can be explained through a number of reasons. His first wife left him after he spent all of the money intended for his child's Christmas present on a virtual item which he then lost. This is something exceptionally difficult to explain to a normal human being, let alone one who is a fat ugly waste. After the divorce he quickly found a new wife, along with a new child. However, his new wife threatens to leave him if he spends too much time playing Wurm. As of yet, she has yet to leave him, presumably because he pays her to stay.

Recent activities

Tonygreen posing in front of his car. Note the poverty stricken surroundings and prominent neckbeard.

In late 2011, the Epic cluster opened, bringing many new opportunities to Wurm and especially to the toxic Tonygreen, who had already spent years of his pathetic life on this game. Following his usual old ways, he joined Mol Rehan and became Chancellor, and spent a great deal of time continuing to exploit and rage his way through the game. He eventually conferred all of the titles on himself, and then proceeded to do nothing with them, logging in once every two weeks to avoid them automatically being lost. After his own kingdom got sick of him, they challenged him for the throne, and after much bribery was involved, it was transferred to another player. This player then proceeded to sell it back to Tony, who then repeated this process for another six months until his cancerous presence was finally ousted.

From then on, Tony was a vagrant between kingdoms, with him being slowly being squeezed into less places as more people became tired of his presence. He finally landed in the Kingdom of Sol (Also known as Kingdom of Sweaters), after perhaps the third time he was kicked from there. Rejoining when it had already passed its prime, Tony proceeded to slowly assume more and more powers through manipulation and bribery until he was the de facto autocrat of the place. From then on, he slowly alienated the remaining people until a revolution broke out.

While the revolution has yet to conclude, it has already been marked by Tony spending over 400 euros on bribing people to join his failed country and him dying several times, most notably by falling off his own mountain and dying from the resulting injuries. Unfortunately, this has yet to be replicated to him in real life. This was followed up by him attempting to pay a kingdom 200 euros to attack the revolutionaries, which they pocketed, and followed up by laughing at Tony. His inability to put down the revolutionaries is compounded by the fact that the people he hired to fight for him are just as incompetent as he is.