Portal:Social Media/Featured Article/Archive

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November 2024

Featured Article - Bluesky

Bluesky Social (a.k.a. Bsky, Bluecry, Shitter, Retarded Butterfly App and Mentally Retarded Liberal Faggot Twitter) is a liberal internet hugbox and child pornography distribution platform that was launched in 2023 by former Twitter CEO and professional Grigori Rasputin cosplayer Jack Dorsey because he was severely butthurt over Elon Musk's purchase of Twitter in late 2022.

Bluesky is a 1:1 clone of Twitter in terms of features and design but, much like pre-2022 Twitter, is moderated entirely by morbidly obese blue-haired trannies and balding male feminist hipsters. In November, 2024, Bluesky saw an influx of angry Hollywood pedophile celebrities and BAWWWING liberal retards who were fleeing Twitter en masse following Donald Trump's epic win in the 2024 United States Presidential Election. As one would probably expect, this led to Bluesky being flooded with hardcore child porn and crashed their servers.

(( TWITTER EXODUS TO BLUESKY; AND NOTHING OF VALUE IS LOST ))

January 2023

Featured Article - Annoying Facebook Girl

Annoying Facebook Girl is another variation on the shit farm explosion that is Advice Dog Variations. The image macro vaguely lampoons the various vacuous 16 year old girls that plague Facebook (and various other normie social media sites) like flies in the Ethiopian embassy. It's also worth noting that this archetype of person, (although a meme series on the web), is an actual NPC-type personality that you will encounter IRL.

(( THE ANNOYING FACEBOOK GIRL ))

October 2020

Featured Article - Dashcon

Dashcon, originally titled "Tumbl-Con" before Tumblr staff rudely informed them of copyright law, was a weeaboo convention created by Tumblr users for Tumblr users to take place at the Renaissance Hotel and Convention Center in beautiful downtown Schaumburg, Illinois, spanning July 11th – 13th, 2014. Heavily criticized from its inception, the only people it didn't manage to disappoint were the people laughing at it from the beginning.

(( THROWBACK TO THE FAILED TUMBLR CONVENTION OF 2014 ))

May 2017

Featured Article - Snapchat

Snapchat is yet another photo sharing app created by yet another group of ivy league losers who decided that there simply wasn't enough ways to allow 16-year-old girls to send duckfaces to their insipid friends. It is, at least, the very first piece of social media to recognize that no selfie has ever been important enough to deserve to exist for more than 10 seconds.

Snapchat is currently one of the top five social networking platforms, along with Failbook, Twitter, and Instagram, thus proving once again that there's never such as thing as an oversaturated marketplace on the internets. Facebook, trying in vain to prevent their continued downward spiral into obscurity, attempted to purchase Snapchat for $3 billion, but was denied, thus cementing their eventual internment in the Halls of Fail, just like Myspace, and literally anything else Christopher Poole has done before them.

(( POOR MAN'S INSTAGRAM ))

January 2017

Featured Article - Gab.ai

Gab or Gab.ai is another pump and dump scam set up by (((Andrew Torba))) in 2016, a former member of Y Combinator who saw the rise of the alt-right during the 2016 presidential election and realised that he had another bunch of sheep he could use to pawn off his inferior social media competitor to Twitter using only a $49 dollar social media template along with someone else's microblogging code that their CPO forked on Github along with PHP that can be 6 months+ out of date depending on who you ask. Torba realised that if you market yourself to them as a "free speech alternative" that they will buy it hook, line and sinker, so you can do whatever the fuck you want and the sheepish fanbase will do the advertising on Twitter, ironically, for you by making sure they change their Twitter usernames to their Gab profile URLs and spamming anyone about the latest new fad like there aren't already 300 fucking micro-blogging alternatives that are also a complete ghosttown. Of course they need your your donations while you receive nothing in return, not even a tax deduction thanks to the fact that they are a for-profit enterprise. Enjoy getting swindled.

They had a small surge in popularity because Twitter is run by a bunch of leftist retards who will ban anybody on short notice. However their userbase is stagnant because the entire site is a giant circlejerk of Trump supporters who need a safe space, where nobody challenges them with facts. Also due to the fact that it actually isn't functionally all that better than Twitter, and in some cases much worse. This in turn has led them to have to backpedal against the fact that they pandered to the alt-right since the start and actually be just as draconian as their main competitor.

(( STOP GABBIN' ON AND SHUT YER MOUTH ))

April 2014

Featured Article - Neknominate

Neknominate (also known as Neck and Nominate, Neknomination or Neck Nomination) is an online drinking game where the main participants are 16-year-old female honkies and guys trying to look cool while impressing their white trash friends. The videos are mainly uploaded to Facebook, often their friends can be heard giggling and cheering on participants. Like everything else that is lame, this game originated from Australia. Neknomination also gives Australians a reason to drink on weekdays, a definite sign of alcoholism.

(( NEKNOMINATE ))

February 2014

Featured Article - Patriarchy

The Patriarchy is a sinister cabal composed of only the whitest and most geriatric men. More influential than The Man and more devious than the Furluminati, their ultimate goal is to brutally oppress every woman on Earth by not surrendering to their ever fleeting whims.

(( PATRIARCHY ))

December 1, 2013

Featured Article - Equality Profile Pictures

Equality Profile Pictures are the latest hipster Facebook profile picture trend sweeping America, that originates from a single photo post made on March 25, 2013 by  'Human Rights Campaign' a gay rights group. This radical attempt to sway conservatives' viewpoints has been successful only in the a handful of demographics. Of course, it goes with out saying that the motive behind changing a profile pic to try and change the world (instead of actually doing something,) is a similar motive to the one used in 2011 to support sitting in a park for three months to protest the failing economy due to their lovely demographic of welfare collectors.

(( EQUALITY PROFILE PICTURES ))

October 6, 2013

Featured Article - Josh Macedo

Josh Macedo, also known as confusedtree, joshishollywood, badcgijosh, and potatoblade, is a 24-year-old resident of Ontario, Canada and was a member of the popular blogging site tumblr, where he reigned as Quirk-God of the Social Justice Realm, gathering thousands of notes and taking many concubines in his wake. Unfortunately, most of them weren't legal. Whoops!

(( "...A MAN OF SIMPLE PLEASURES" ))