Roberto Madrazo's Berlin marathon scam

Suspiciously fresh, pathetically old.

After a humiliating defeat in Mexico's presidential election in 2006, beaner Roberto Madrazo's futile attempt to become the next Speedy Gonzales failed miserably in the 2007 Berlin Marathon. Organizers said he didn't win the 55-and-over category after they realized Madrazo took a shortcut.

Complete fucktard

According to a computer microchip that runners carried, Madrazo took only 21 minutes to cover a nine-mile section of the course—a pace that beats the 100-metre record by over a second (150 times) and equivalent to a full marathon in just over one hour. Madrazo disappeared midway through the course before reappearing some miles later, winning his age group and slashing an hour off his personal record. It was difficult for him to defuse the suspicions, thanks to the Germans' obsession with accuracy.

Madrazo's such a loser, that in a photograph taken as he crossed the finish line, wearing an ear-to-ear grin, pumping his arms in the air like a black mongoloid, and looking completely fresh, some photographer noticed his outfit. A windbreaker, hat, and long, skintight running pants— too much clothing, some said, for a person who had just run a marathon in 60-degree weather.

The photographer alerted race organizers that they might have a cheat on their hands... and he was right.

Lesson learned: Don't fuck with the Germans.

"It was so obvious to me, if you look at everyone else that's in the picture, everyone's wearing T-shirts and shorts, and the guy's got a jacket on and a hat or whatever," the guy said. "I looked at it and was like, wait a second."

Bottom line: Don't fuck with the Germans. Don't cheat with microchips. Don't do a Madrazo.

See Also

• Spics
• Idiot