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Tonetta: Difference between revisions
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# | [[File:Tonetta2.jpg|thumb|[[Om nom nom]]]] | ||
[[File:Tonetta1.jpg|thumb|Not [[Balloon Boy]]]] | |||
Buffalo Bill celebrity impersonator '''Tonetta777''' is a [[Youtube]] musician/[[Mechanophilia|sex machine]] from [[Toronto]] who tickled and delighted hipsters' [[Irony#Hipster_Irony|irony]] organs with his [[trap|drag queen review]]. [[Nazi|Youtube moderators]] became threatened by his talent and sex appeal and have long since [http://www.youtube.com/user/tonetta777 suspended his main account.] The suspension did not go unnoticed by PBR-swilling types (unlike [[Natalee Holloway|so]] [[Iraq|many]] [[Polish Lollercaust|other]] [[Obamacare|things]]), and they have since been pining and [http://www.petitiononline.com/tonetta/petition.html petitioning] for his official return. | |||
==Tonetta, The Man== | |||
Tonetta is a [[basement dweller|solitary man]] with simple tastes, and it would seem all he needs in life is his guitar and his scarves. His distended, often naked belly demonstrate his dispassion for life's lesser foods, as his main source of sustenance is [[piss]] and [[shit]] and the tears of unsuspecting, youtube-cruising grandmas. His advanced age and appearance belie his passion for song-smithy, throwing around anthems like [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcY6Pnajc3Q Ultimate Whore] and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHiL9LgS-9w 81 Inch PRIME ASS] like they weren't god's gifts to an [[I Hate Horses|undeserving world]]. | |||
Tonetta humbles himself before his fawning fan base over <s>[http://www.lolokaust.com/tonetta.html here]</s> {{archive|g1L1p|here}} in a one-on-one with some useless manchild, rejecting The [[Weblog|Vlog]] in order to keep the sanctity of his channel, and embracing the ageless art of [[Chris Hansen|The Interview]]. In the interview he casually name drops John Lennon as an occasional inspiration, though given their respective ages and levels of musical expertise, it may be more accurate to say [[Fact|Tonetta777 influenced John Lennon]]. | |||
His band, ''Tonetta'' performs his songs - [[forever alone|without him]]. His lip-synching performance in his lo-fi videos give the appearance that he doesn't know his own lyrics. By all appearances, he's as [[Tom Cruise|gay as the day is long]], but claims to be straight. Nearly all his songs are about [[sex|fucking]]. Welcome to the world of Tonetta. | |||
<center><youtube>8LI8yb6ygTs</youtube></center> | |||
==Tonetta, the Quotes== | |||
<center> | |||
{{morphquote|tonettaquote|background-color:white;|font-weight: bold;|I don’t listen to music. I don’t listen to the radio, I don’t watch TV. I don’t do any of those things. I kind of keep to myself, I’m more of a recluse, and I think my music is different for that reason.|Tonetta|I’ve been called so many things on YouTube, queer, fag. But I’m not, and that’s the crazy thing about it. They actually think I’m gay. I’ve got two boys and I was married. If I meet the right girl, I’ll get married again. I like pussy. If I have the choice, I’ll take tits. I like the female body. I’ve never been with guys.|Tonetta, sounding like a Republican}} | |||
</center> | |||
==Tonetta, The Music== | |||
Like all good artists, he has suffered repeated [[b&|bannings]] at the hands of the [[YouTube|JewTube]] Decency Protocol enforcers. Tonetta, like any good [[troll]], just makes a new account and keeps rolling on. These tasty tunes were saved by the few, proud [[Sock puppet|bastions of good taste]] and sanity left on Youtube. They are likely viewable on all the "deleted youtube video" aggregates as well, amidst a sea of embarrassed neckbeards and bouncing [[16-year-old girl]]s. | |||
{{center|{{fv|Tonetta|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>mO_u-EkJZ8E</youtube>{{center|"Pressure Zone"}} | |||
|<youtube>o8EfrXZQ7bU</youtube>{{center|Once again, they call me Buffalo Bill}} | |||
|<youtube>Y3ygGJBhUjo</youtube>{{center|"Drugs Drugs Drugs", something we can all agree on}} | |||
|<youtube>tG2u1N8Ke-Y</youtube>{{center|"My Bro"}} | |||
|<youtube>4YqURBx3Btw</youtube>{{center|"Big Rig"}} | |||
|<youtube>-IMaXb6E_5o</youtube>{{center|"Skinheads Versus Me"}} | |||
|<youtube>0Ug6994nDA4</youtube>{{center|"Mmm Mama"}} | |||
|<youtube>8fpFZSQ0GLk</youtube>{{center|"Hitler"}}}}}} | |||
==Tonetta, the Drama With Black Tent Press== | |||
As evidenced by [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsNtRTxU0wU&lc=z12cddpgjvflvrwb504cj1njirqwgrkxlps0k comments] posted by Tonetta on [http://youtu.be/GsNtRTxU0wU this video], Black Tent Press has apparently not paid Tonetta for his [[Lulz|efforts]]. | |||
{{quote|1=who the fuck are you to sell what belong to me stop selling my music fuck dirk !! blacktentpress !! hes ripping me off fuck the ones who support that scammer !!|2=Tonettadirect777|3=[http://www.youtube.com/comment?lc=KrYe7W-oQz7PTPymgPee2ckCv4OFxdXIzLJJ493vn-g YouTube comment]}} | |||
{{quote|1=don't support blacktentpress he rips artsts off !! this is tonetta & b-t-press owes me big-time !! you read it here !!i|2=2020Tonetta|3=[http://www.youtube.com/comment?lc=KrYe7W-oQz6X01JiWaOxgvly6BA3x6PimAy8p5bBRe0 YouTube comment]}} | |||
==Tonetta, The Links== | |||
*[http://blacktentpress.com/artist/TONETTA Black Tent Press], Tonetta's visionary record label. Either single-handedly resuscitating physical media as a viable platform for music, '''OR''' these are the [[Jews]] ripping off Tonetta, depending on who you believe | |||
*<s>[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tonetta/174752724381 Facebook artist page]</s> | |||
*<s>[http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=220490450180 Facebook fan page]</s> | |||
*[http://www.myspace.com/tonetta777 Myspace artist page] | |||
*<s>[http://www.freakipedia.net/index.php5?title=Tonetta777 Freakipedia entry] Lesser wiki entry</s> {{archive|bZEIx}} | |||
*[http://nonozeroblog.blogspot.com/2009/06/tonetta777.html Penetrating Insights] Lengthy ironic [[hipster]] screed, full of devotion to Tonetta | |||
*<s>[http://tonyvid.net TonyVid] - The new home of Tony's videos. NSFW</s> {{archive|hqGMv}} | |||
*<s>{{yt|u|tonettadirect777}} His current YT account</s> dead | |||
*{{yt|u|777dlwaters}} Actual current YT. Updates several times a week. | |||
*{{fb|tonetta777}} | |||
*{{myspace|tonetta777}} | |||
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20100808092029/http://www.artistadvocacy.com/music/features/tonetta/ Interview] {{archive|1wxKK}} | |||
*<s>[http://tonetta.bandcamp.com/ Bandcamp]</s> {{archive|0BXgM|Bandcamp}} | |||
*<s>[http://vimeo.com/user11593404 Vimeo] - NSFW</s> Gone. [https://web.archive.org/web/20121104193719/http://vimeo.com/user11593404 Archive.org] | |||
{{YoutubeSeries}} | |||
{{Music}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | |||
Latest revision as of 07:27, 13 January 2023
Buffalo Bill celebrity impersonator Tonetta777 is a Youtube musician/sex machine from Toronto who tickled and delighted hipsters' irony organs with his drag queen review. Youtube moderators became threatened by his talent and sex appeal and have long since suspended his main account. The suspension did not go unnoticed by PBR-swilling types (unlike so many other things), and they have since been pining and petitioning for his official return.
Tonetta, The Man
Tonetta is a solitary man with simple tastes, and it would seem all he needs in life is his guitar and his scarves. His distended, often naked belly demonstrate his dispassion for life's lesser foods, as his main source of sustenance is piss and shit and the tears of unsuspecting, youtube-cruising grandmas. His advanced age and appearance belie his passion for song-smithy, throwing around anthems like Ultimate Whore and 81 Inch PRIME ASS like they weren't god's gifts to an undeserving world.
Tonetta humbles himself before his fawning fan base over here 
here in a one-on-one with some useless manchild, rejecting The Vlog in order to keep the sanctity of his channel, and embracing the ageless art of The Interview. In the interview he casually name drops John Lennon as an occasional inspiration, though given their respective ages and levels of musical expertise, it may be more accurate to say Tonetta777 influenced John Lennon.
His band, Tonetta performs his songs - without him. His lip-synching performance in his lo-fi videos give the appearance that he doesn't know his own lyrics. By all appearances, he's as gay as the day is long, but claims to be straight. Nearly all his songs are about fucking. Welcome to the world of Tonetta.
Tonetta, the Quotes
—Tonetta | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Tonetta, The Music
Like all good artists, he has suffered repeated bannings at the hands of the JewTube Decency Protocol enforcers. Tonetta, like any good troll, just makes a new account and keeps rolling on. These tasty tunes were saved by the few, proud bastions of good taste and sanity left on Youtube. They are likely viewable on all the "deleted youtube video" aggregates as well, amidst a sea of embarrassed neckbeards and bouncing 16-year-old girls.
Previous Video | Next Video
Tonetta, the Drama With Black Tent Press
As evidenced by comments posted by Tonetta on this video, Black Tent Press has apparently not paid Tonetta for his efforts.
—Tonettadirect777, YouTube comment | ||
—2020Tonetta, YouTube comment | ||
Tonetta, The Links
- Black Tent Press, Tonetta's visionary record label. Either single-handedly resuscitating physical media as a viable platform for music, OR these are the Jews ripping off Tonetta, depending on who you believe
Facebook artist pageFacebook fan page- Myspace artist page
Freakipedia entry Lesser wiki entry (archive)- Penetrating Insights Lengthy ironic hipster screed, full of devotion to Tonetta
TonyVid - The new home of Tony's videos. NSFW (archive)
tonettadirect777 His current YT account- 777dlwaters Actual current YT. Updates several times a week.
tonetta777
tonetta777- Interview (archive)
Bandcamp BandcampVimeo - NSFWGone. Archive.org
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Tonetta is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |