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7-Eleven: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:7-11signage.jpg|thumb|150px|right]] | [[Image:7-11signage.jpg|thumb|150px|right]] | ||
'''7-11''' is the store where armed-robbery apprentices get their on-the-job training, and where 90% of Mexicants and Indians work until they get their Visa and [[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|steal your daughter]]. Without this cornucopia of [[lulz]] many of the [[basement dwellers]] reading this now [[Unrealistic Expectations|might have jobs or families]]. 7-11's are also hotbeds of various [[drug]] and nigger activity. Due to lax zoning laws and insufficient [[pig|police]] numbers, 7-11 is allowed to continue their [[Republican|evil]] operation with virtually no resistance or accountability. | '''7-11''' is the store where armed-robbery apprentices get their on-the-job training, and where 90% of Mexicants and 96% of Indians work until they get their Visa and [[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|steal your daughter]]. Without this cornucopia of [[lulz]] many of the [[basement dwellers]] reading this now [[Unrealistic Expectations|might have jobs or families]]. 7-11's are also hotbeds of various [[drug]] and nigger activity. Due to lax zoning laws and insufficient [[pig|police]] numbers, 7-11 is allowed to continue their [[Republican|evil]] operation with virtually no resistance or accountability. | ||
==7-11's Contributions to Society== | ==7-11's Contributions to Society== | ||
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Answer the following questions with a yes or no: | Answer the following questions with a yes or no: | ||
*Are you [[Indian]]? | *Are you Paki or [[Indian]]? | ||
*Are you unable to write, read, speak or recognize English? ([[Engrish]] also now acceptable!) | *Are you unable to write, read, speak or recognize English? ([[Engrish]] also now acceptable!) | ||
*Are you totally devoid of | *Are you totally devoid of ambition? | ||
*Are you an ex-felon? | *Are you an ex-felon? | ||
*Are you absurdly high and incapacitated by the munchies? | *Are you [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETGTB52V-F0 absurdly high] and incapacitated by the munchies? | ||
*Would you like to work in a location where you can be certain you will get [[raped|robbed]]? | *Would you like to work in a location where you can be certain you will get [[raped|robbed]], if not shot? | ||
*Are you willing to yell at any teenager you see for shoplifting, even if they haven't committed a crime? | *Are you willing to yell at any teenager you see for shoplifting, even if they haven't committed a crime? | ||
If you answered ''yes'' to any of these questions, then you might consider job opportunities at 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven is a worldwide chain | If you answered ''yes'' to any of these questions, then you might consider job opportunities at 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven is a worldwide chain; the largest chain store in any category, beating McDonald's by [[9,000|over 9,000]] stores (in your '''face''', [[china|Walmart]]). Its stores are located in eighteen countries, with its largest markets being Japan, the United States, Taiwan, and Thailand - in other words [[Azn]]s love [[Slurpee]]s. | ||
'''How to steal a candy bar:''' | '''How to steal a candy bar:''' | ||
Latest revision as of 11:59, 3 December 2021
7-11 is the store where armed-robbery apprentices get their on-the-job training, and where 90% of Mexicants and 96% of Indians work until they get their Visa and steal your daughter. Without this cornucopia of lulz many of the basement dwellers reading this now might have jobs or families. 7-11's are also hotbeds of various drug and nigger activity. Due to lax zoning laws and insufficient police numbers, 7-11 is allowed to continue their evil operation with virtually no resistance or accountability.
7-11's Contributions to Society
Besides the Slurpee, 7-11's greatest gift to society is its gift of entertainment; without it we would not have shows like World's Dumbest Criminals or gems such as this:
Ocean's 7-11
Previous Video | Next Video
There is also a sketch comedy-spoof series called Ocean's 7-11 on Les tubes which is filmed there. It is the show that you and your untalented fat friends would make if you had the money.
Also, they provided the name for 711chan. But that's something else.
Is A Career At 7-11 Right For You?
Answer the following questions with a yes or no:
- Are you Paki or Indian?
- Are you unable to write, read, speak or recognize English? (Engrish also now acceptable!)
- Are you totally devoid of ambition?
- Are you an ex-felon?
- Are you absurdly high and incapacitated by the munchies?
- Would you like to work in a location where you can be certain you will get robbed, if not shot?
- Are you willing to yell at any teenager you see for shoplifting, even if they haven't committed a crime?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might consider job opportunities at 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven is a worldwide chain; the largest chain store in any category, beating McDonald's by over 9,000 stores (in your face, Walmart). Its stores are located in eighteen countries, with its largest markets being Japan, the United States, Taiwan, and Thailand - in other words Azns love Slurpees.
How to steal a candy bar:
What a typical night at work is like at 7-11:
See Also
External links
- http://www.youtube.com/user/ClooneyOcean (you can see all of the Ocean's 7-11 vids here)
- http://www.7-11.com
- http://www.slurpee.com
