Madeleine McCann: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 19:40, 21 June 2022

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT MADDIE IS AN ANAGRAM OF IM DEAD!!!1

If Maddie's mum confesses she'll only get two years
Someone took Maddie, and THEY GOT AWAY WITH IT.
The Trustees of the 'Find Maddie Fund' are researching whether or not the Fund can be used to cover Legal Fees as Gerry & Kate are hiring the Legal Team that represented Augusto Pinochet. This is clearly shockingly inappropriate, as Pinochet was a criminal and profiteer responsible for covering up disappearances.

Madeleine McCann (born 2003 - raped, battered, and eaten by Mummy and Daddy 3 May 2007) is WAS a famous British loli who disappeared on the evening of Thursday, 3 May 2007 in the resort of Praia da Luz in the Algarve, Portugal, just days short of her fourth birthday. The British public collectively shat bricks (or makey-buildy rocks in British), and, within a very short time, literally millions of pounds were flowing in, during what some argue was the most ghoulish and hysterical media circus since the high-speed pwnage of Princess Diana.

The whole affair was particularly nauseating to the many citizens who took issue with Kate and Gerry McCann's version of events; to wit, that they had left their four-year-old daughter unsupervised in a ground floor bedroom with her two-year-old twin siblings while going off for tapas in a bar a mile away. Even those who argued the family's innocence were staggered by the gulag mentality which descended on Merry Old England with the slightest whisper that they might have, ooh, say, killed their daughter with their gross negligence being total anathema.

Kate and Gerry were already pouring donation money into their mortgage fund and entertaining ideas of a Hollywood movie and appearance on American talk shows by the time the backlash FINALLY kicked in and they were named as suspects (by which time the poor child was of course over the hill and far away). Meanwhile, all the po' chilluns in Zimbabwe continue to die of fail and AIDS. (Zimbabwe doesn't care, dough, cuz now dey gots jenkem.)

Note that $1.5 million is enough to buy another child, but NOOOOOOOOOO.

A horrifying example of the kind of negative publicity inflicted on the McCann family by the internet.

Kidnapping

While some argue that Madeleine was kidnapped by Mexicans (though that would mean a Mexican did work and they're all lazy, amirite?), other witnesses claim that her teddybear sprang to life and kidnapped her. Madeleine's parents were dining 100 yards away with other swingers at a restaurant near the Mark Warner Ocean Childlove branch. Kate and Gerry McCann reported to the police that they were taking turns checking on their children, every three days. At approximately lulz o'clock, Western European Summer Time, two days earlier, Gerry checked on the children and they were all fine. Staff and guests at the complex searched until 4:30 whilst police on the Spanish border and all airports in Portugal and Spain were notified that they wouldn't get their turn with Maddie if she wasn't found. The search and moar butthurt ensued. Latest indications suggest that George Harrison pwnd Maddie. Noone dare tell fellow whining Scouser Kate MCann that the Fab one has actually been dead for at least 100 years - much like poor Maddie.

It might be worth noting that the hotel the McCanns were staying at did provide a FREE babysitting service, but, obviously, Gerry, being a miserly Scot was too cheap to take advantage of it.

Maddie enjoying Jesus Camp with all the other children.

Possible reward withdrawal

The financial reward for Madeleine has been cited as the second biggest reason for false reports of finding Madeleine; the primary reason, of course, is doing it for the lulz. Over the last month there has been at least twenty-one attempts to hand in false Madeleines ranging from the simple sex doll with a mask to a shaved monkey which had been put through plastic surgery. The monkey was initially accepted by the parents but after a week the father returned it saying his daughter's vagina was a lot softer than the monkey's. The father was going to be tried for Animal Abuse, but he had recently lost his daughter so they decided any wrongdoing was okay.

How does I get away with it?

You're gonna need a legion of fucktards to get away with it. Plenty of them at MySpace and Facebook. Then, some passports (don't forget the victim's one!). Then, follow the steps below:

1 - Go to a country where you're surrounded by fucktards. In this case, Portugal. This ensures that the police suck and all their work will be for the lulz. Plus, in countries like these, they will not suspect white trash like you! (not instantly, at least). Yeah, it's better to take a vacation in the Third World, especially when you have three children that barely walk, amirite?.

2 - Set up a cheap scenario full of AIDS. In this case, a place full of people, for maximum potential. Then, kiss your child for last time and with it, permabanning it from life, or selling it to a loli dealer, anything goes if you want money. If all else fails, put sunglasses on it, cover up any bruises, and position its face to look peacefully asleep. Then send it on a plane off to Norway. Immediately establish an alibi saying you "left the door of the apartment open". Of course, the police won't suspect of you if you're not in the crime scene, right? So, go to a place full of witnesses, liek a Bar, and, if you're a couple, take turns going back to the hotel to make sure your child is never coming back. Just tell everyone you were actually checking up on them! PROTIP: Make sure not to hire the available and cheap babysitter service of the hotel. Hell, no! This would ruin your murder/human trafficking scheme.

3 - Distort the reality! Pay a guy or two to agree with your alibi when teh police come. Also, if possible, make your accomplice say she/he has superpowers and managed to see some random guy running with a child in arms, which, predictably, the cameras of the hotel never evar caught! Don't forget to set up approximate hours of reference like 20:00 or 21:00, because they are easier to remember in an interrogation!

4 - Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud! Shout "They've taken her, they've taken her!" and "Madeleine's gone!" when you have made it back to the hotel, even when you have yet to enter your room! If you're a white woman, this effect gets maximum credibility? Great performance, Mrs. Kate McCann!!one1.

5 - Let the lulz make the lulz. The police will react several hours later after your child is long-gone and has taken the 20:00 or 21:00 flight; eh, Mr and Mrs McCann? That's because you checked the hour in the Bar carefully and gave time enough for the drama, right?

6 - Don't care, but act as if you care. Don't evar act like a hurt parent. No! Just avoid questions like "did you kill your child", and get a lawyer to support you and act cool.

7 - Spread the news like crazy! Offer a fucking-batshit-insane reward; no one in the world will find your child anyway, (you've seen to that,) so you might as well start spending that huge quantity on yourself to assuage your "grief". This is also a great time to suck the old media off for press coverage and buy a lot of shiny blinking banner ads to spread the word moar, moar, moar!1!1!!!1!!

8 - Keep the lie rolling on. Spend your contributor's money while the fucktarded English and Portuguese police are still confused, lulz. Keep up the denial so that the ever-lasting internet communities will keep donating to the fake search campaign. Also, you're young and grieving, so you have the right to spend your money, to help lessen your burden. Just use a shitty box to seal away all the letters filled with truth from Anon, label it as "mean", and keep it along with the otherkin ones that dream about Maddie's whereabouts.

9 - Get a fewmillions for being on the Oprah show. Fuck, yeah!

10 - Make some movie. Why not?

11 - ????

12 - Moar PROFIT!

If you plan to do this, other good countries to make your children disappear are Brazil, Finland, Iraq, Japan, Mexico and of course, the Philippines. If you have other little children like the McCann's, follow their example and make sure these are too young to remember you got rid of their sister/brother.

	“	ba·by-sit [bey-bee-sit] verb, -sat, -sit·ting. –verb (used without object) 1. to take charge of a child while the parents are temporarily away. –verb (used with object) 2.to baby-sit for (a child): We've placed an ad for someone to baby-sit the youngsters in the evening. 3.to take watchful responsibility for; tend: It will be necessary for someone to baby-sit the machine until it is running properly. Also, ba·by·sit. [Origin: 1945–50]	„

Getting away with from it all

"Fuck off, I'm not here to enjoy myself!" - Gerry McCann (before Maddie disappeared)

	“	Day 45 - 17/06/2007 Kate and I managed an early morning run before church. The first event of our longer term campaign will be on Friday 22nd June- this will mark the 50th day Madeleine will be missing. We will be launching green and yellow balloons from at least 50 centres worldwide to mark the fact that we are still searching as are other parents of missing children.	„

Yeah, Balloons. That'll help. Just admit you fucked, killed and ate your daughter. I bet the balloons will take down at least 1 plane killing at least 100 people and noone will care about that. Realistically, they are just using this to get a long vacation. They said they wouldn't leave Spain until their daughter came back (even if they're in Portugal). Fucking Jews have so much money now. They can live off of Find Maddie money for years.

Gerry McCann enjoying himself (after Maddie disappeared)

A Very Maddie Movie

In January 2008, it was announced that talks were in progress for a movie dramatising Maddie's disappearance.

The McCann family will be played by Christian Slater and Tara Reid, as both have demonstrated by appearing in a Uwe Boll movie that they will work for food. The movie opens with the main characters making their fateful trip to the local eatery, which will be shown onscreen as being next door to their holiday flat and in no way over a mile away.

As Maddie begs her parents not to go because it will be night soon and the Pedobears mostly come at night... mostly, they reassure her and tuck her into bed. As soon as they are gone, however, a fat, sweaty Portuguese gypsy in a grubby vest and plastic sandals (played by Cheech Marin) leaps into shot. He proceeds to go "Nya-ha-haaaaah!" like Dishonest John from Beanie and Cecil, twirl his greasy mustache and tip-toe into the house with his shoulders hunched at an exaggerated angle.

The "Blundering" Portuguese detective will be played by the late Peter Sellers, brought back to life using body doubles and CG animation. Throughout the movie he will be stalked by a cel-animated pink Pedobear. As Gerry McCann angrily points to it and shouts "HE'S BEHIND YOU!" Sellers will comedically fall over, get his head stuck in toilets, present McCann with a delivery of a beumb and inquire whether he has a leesance for his monkey. Maddy's fat ass auntie will be played by Roseanne Barr and Rosie O' Donnell in one. Both of them inside a fat suit. And an ugly suit. Not that they need it.

The public have been so enthusiastic about helping the producers to cast the movie that they have taken to choosing Maddie look-alikes from all over Europe.

	“	Clarence Mitchell said a film would only be considered if the McCanns believed it would help raise awareness of the case or help fund their mortgage payments.	„
	—Sky News, quoted in UK press

By January 2008 the Maddie fund had taken around £1.2 million. It was estimated that the McCanns would have spent this ALL on the search for Maddie by June. And the movie project wasn't going ahead quickly enough to prevent them running out of cash very soon. Obviously this situation was unacceptable to both the family and the Maddie Media Murder Mash, so Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters entered a million pound bidding war for exclusive interview rights. The McCann family claimed that money will not be an issue, and that they would appear on the show that would be most help in the search for their daughter. Good thing that it was illegal for them to do BOTH shows and take NO MONEY AT ALL, amirite?

	“	The movie, expected to earn them £1million, will horrify those who have already accused them of cashing in. The prospect of them appearing on a chat show sofa while they remain official suspects in Madeleine's disappearance will enrage their critics.	„

And appear they did, at which time they were subjected to an objective and far-reaching interview that aimed to get closer to the truth of the mystery than the police forces of two countries ever could have dreamed, due to the USA's cherished principle of free speech. Disregard that, Oprah is fail, they walked through it without breaking sweat, passed 'Go', collected £1m.

A Challenger Appears!

One of these girls is not like the other girl, one of these girls just doesn't belong

Shona whores it up outside her "Messy London flat" (-The Sun)

Shona Adams, a Nigra single mother and head of a London talent agency, became aware of little Kelsey Lynn Kudla after the potential prostatot was contacted by the McCanns via the family's website. She hopes that little Kelsey could stand to trouser a cool nine million pounds (of which Adams will be entitled to 20%) by taking the lead role in the proposed movie.

	“	If the film about Madeleine is ever made, then the world is Kelsey’s oyster. If someone like Steven Spielberg made it, she could make £9million easily – of which I’d take 20 per cent. She will become a name in her own right and make it as a child model or actress because she’s got her foot in the door. And from there, her earning potential is limitless. It’s not sinister. And if the McCanns are upset, there’s nothing they can do because it’s a democracy.	„
	—Shona Adams, confusing democracy with anarchy

	“	Disgraceful, hurtful and offensive. This is a shameless money-making scheme.	„
	—Spokesman for the McCanns, talking about his own clients.

Pick of the pitches

About missing Pics

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First anniversary celebrations

"I love you, Ken!" "I love you too, Barbie. Now get in the fucking trunk."

By May 2008, the Madeleine "mystery" had become a cottage industry, in which "grief tourists" went to Portugal and the local residents provided them with entertainment. Brazillian artist Josepha Maria created and displayed a Realdoll of what she imagined a grown up version of Maddie would look like. This made perfect sense because Maddie might have aged by more than 12 years in the 12 months since "disappearing." She displayed the staring, blank-eyed horror in the town of Praia Del Luz along with photos of Maddie, opting to troll the locals even moar by loudly setting up the diorama at 5.30am for extra points.

The fact that the creature looks like a Bratz doll with a Sharingan eye would be funny enough by itself, but Daily Mail-reading burger-faced harridan Nancy Thompson (who runs the pub opposite the church) took extra special offence and the McCann family themselves - who were also quite clearly nauseated (and yet strangely aroused) by the doll - had to pull her off its creator.

	“	It's absolutely unbelievable! It's grotesque, it's horrible. You wait until catch up with her.	„
	—Nancy Thompson, proving that people who read The Sun no speak so good

Meanwhile, they and the tabloids are also butthurt because "ghouls" are treating Maddie's apartment as if it's a monument in order to see the sauce of the drama first hand. WTF?? It's not as if there's anything wrong with visiting the resort and telling your kids "Kids! When you're older, you will grow up to be sensible parents unlike those who abandoned their daughter here".

	“	The sick sightseers even pose outside apartment 5A and SNAP their kids against the window of the room where she vanished. Not only that, there are claims it might be OFFICIAL!!	„

According to "journalistic sources", the locals suggest that the trips should be OFFICIAL tours with professional GUIDES and licensed SOUVENIRS.

Dox drop dog drama

The case finally ground to a halt in August 2008, with all the Portuguese police evidence published in accordance with Portugal's disclosure laws. Every last page of the Portuguese file has now been translated into English and is available online.

Among the dirt to come to light was the much-vaunted "Arguido" interview in which Kate McCann's lawyer advised her not to answer 48 questions, such as "Well, where did you look for her?" and "Why did you leave the children alone while going out to get trashed in a seedy tapas bar with 7 other swingers?". It also revealed two sniffer dogs had found the scent of the blood of a small child and a corpse all over their sofa, car boot (rented nearly a month after the 'disappearance') and Kate McCann's clothing with a DNA match of 15/19 markers of Madeline. Police remain baffled.

"Found her!" - The death-detecting dog with a nose that knows.

Double Dutch drama development

At the same time as the Portuguese files were released, it was reported that little Maddie had been spotted in Amsterdam in May 2007 (the same month she disappeared) in the company of a Portuguese-speaking man and a French-speaking woman. Obviously the Dutch witness was trilingual to be able to recognise all that.

Oh yeah, and she was obviously fluent in English too, because little Maddie supposedly said to her: "Do you know where my mummy is?" and described the woman who was seen with her by saying: "She is a stranger, she took me from my mummy."

The Dutch witness, Anna Stam (yes, Anna Stam from Amsterdam) was then interviewed by a police sketch artist who came up with the following likenesses of the mystery abductors.

If you think you know this couple, you are encouraged to contact the police as a matter of urgency. A small child's life could depend on it. Oh, wait...

Adoring fans

http://bebo.com/GiveMaddieBack

^ A popular Maddie group on Bebo was targeted by Twilightning (Darragh Smyth) and was continually bombarded with abuse. Maddie's fans stepped up to the challenge.

	“	Maddie's not coming home for Christmas, dipshits. If she does, itll be in a body bag!	„
	—Twilightning

	“	ye am sure evry1 as respect 4 dis little girl, n we are all praying that she will be fownd !!....x x x	„
	—Nicola

	“	here no being funny or that but that lassie 3 comments down is bang out of order ?:( thats sick as fuck wouldni be surprised if she got battard the way she goes about saying things like tht your lucky me and my pals cant get on your bebo (Y). sad fuck	„
	—Mandynelson

	“	heyaa ppl maddie will be found i promise just keep strong maddie and keep looking for her AND 1 THING FOR SURE SHE IS NOT DEAD!!	„
	—loveyhoolotz

	“	p.s if the person who kidnapped maddie is reading this this is for yhoo from proberly every1 in the uk GIVE MADDIE BACK, ITS NOT FAIR SHE I ONLY 4 YEARS OLD. AND IF YHOO HAVE HURT OR EVEN killed MADDIE YHOO ARE GOING TO PAY SO MUCH YHOO PHYCO. YHOOR SOO MEAN AND YHOO ARE GOING TO PAY NO MATTER WHAT!!!	„
	—lLOVEYHOOMADDIE X X X X

	“	heyyyy omg i fealll so sorri for this little girl and her family people should keep looking no matter what they find good luck and loveee	„
	—A Good Samaritan

	“	Whoever took maddie iz a sick person and needs serious help. But the police should not give up.I STILL KNOW SHE'S OUT THERE ALIVE.ALL OF U THAT R THINKIN SHE'S DEAD SHE AIN'T JUST HAVE FAITH. And all of u that r thinkin that her parents did it i have a feelin u're wrong but anywayz. May she come back safely.	„
	—A Illiterate

	“	I feel really sorry 4 u coz u haf 2 cope with not being with cute little maddie its really really sad so im gunna give u sum luv♥ i hope u find her soon From Beth F Cnt Beeleev Dee Portugees Police R Endiin Dee Case On Findiin Her 2Daii Hw Can You Do Dat 2 Dee Parentd Hu Desperatly Need Her Hope Yur Found Soon Maddie ....... X	„
	—♥ Anuthr iliderit

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And various others like those in which they state how dearly the parents need their child back; to which I have to say: Yes, I feel sorry too, that the father can no longer stare at the cute, poor, little Maddie.

Trolls' remorse

Once again the sick fucks at 4chan and Ebaum's world have sunk to an all time low. All over /b/, /b/tards voted for Madeleine McCann as 2007's "Sexiest Woman of the Year" in the Kerrang! Reader's Poll of 2007. The server was been completely raped as a result, Maddie got over two million votes, and then in a feat of election-rigging that would shame W himself, Kerrang! disqualified her.

More lulz were generated in 2008 when two British rags (The Daily Express and Daily Star, both published by Richard Desmond ^✡) were sued and the court ordered both papers to apologise to the "Tapas Seven" aka the other seven murdering swingers who participated in the gangbanging of Maddie before her parents did her in. The papers also had to pay half a million quid to the 'Find Maddie' fund, which wasn't even a party to the action.

On 3 January 2009, member and former chairman of Conservative Future (sort of like Hitler Youth for the Tory party) Matthew Lewis was ejected from the organisation for MOTHERFUCKING COSPLAYING AS MADDIE at a new year's party, wearing a blonde wig, pink pyjamas, a teddy bear and a vial of fake blood.

	“	There was a moment when I thought I might have gone too far.	„
	—Matthew Lewis (the pre-party conversation on Facebook is worth reading)

In June 2008, the lead officer in Portugal's investigation into Maddie's "disappearance" resigned from the police. In October 2007 Chief Inspector Gonçalo Amaral had told a Portuguese newspaper that British police only pursued leads that were helpful to the McCanns. His bosses immediately took him off the case. Now he was freed from his official duty to keep his mouth shut, Amaral wrote a book stating that the lovable loli had died in an accident and the McCanns had faked an abduction. It was published three days after the Portuguese police closed their investigation. Within three months Maddie: A Verdade da Mentira ("Maddie: The Truth of the Lie") had sold 180,000 copies. The McCanns sued him in 2009 and were awarded over €600,000 by a Portuguese court, who also banned the book from sale. Amaral appealed and the decision was overturned in 2016 Meanwhile separate court cases saw the ban on Amaral's book overturned, reinstated, and lifted again. No English publisher will touch it with a bargepole (and oddly, no American publisher will either), but an English translation is available online. Predictably, it has provoked a frenzy of interest and outrage from internet shut-ins with no real excitement in their lives.

In May 2010, this very article, nay, Encyclopedia Dramatica itself, was assailed by the might of the McCanns' formidable legal team, namely Carter-Ruck solicitors, Britain's most-feared libel specialists. As you can see for yourself, the ambulance-chasers of Chancery Lane not only attempted to suppress the truth but to suppress the fact that the truth had been suppressed in the first place. Fortunately, everyone knows that when you get a threatening letter from a lawyer, the first thing to do is check it for length. The longer the letter is, the more complicated the arguments in it, therefore the weaker the case. The letter was published on this page and that was the last that was heard of the matter.

Page the first
Page the second

In October 2014, Leicestershire-based McCann critic Brenda Leyland (63) was 'exposed' as a 'troll' by Sky News reporter Martin Brunt. Ms Leyland, it was reported, had tweeted 'obsessively' about the McCanns. In fact, 'obsessively' in this case meant 400 tweets over a one-year period, or just 1.09 times a day. And the McCanns aren't even on twitter, so it's hard to see how they were being 'trolled'. And none of Mrs Leyland's tweets was actually threatening or libellous, and some of them even sympathised with the McCanns. As usual, in this instance, 'trolling' is media shorthand for "Someone I Don't Know Is Saying Things I Don't Like On The Internet". Ms Leyland's face and voice were broadcast to the entire UK making her instantly infamous. Shortly after that, she committed suicide by inhaling Helium. The media were completely exonerated for having harassed an innocent woman to the point of no return. Brenda "@sweepyface" Leyland, an heroine for the truth, trolled to death by Rupert Murdoch ^✡. Nevar forget.

	“	I would also hope that were I to die in odd circumstances people WOULD Q and refuse to accept the first version	„
	—@sweepyface, 11 November 2013

Mad money

In 2015, it was announced that a large sum of money had been used to find someone who is almost definitely never going to be seen again. Take a guess out how much this was. £2 million? £4 Million? £7.5 Million? No, no, surely no amount of money can be wasted that badly, nobody in their right mind would waste

£10 million

would they? Well there you go folks, that's how much money has been spent, and with no brakes on the Madeleine McCann train this probably isn't even half of the total amount that will be spent when the police give up and say she's at the bottom of the Atlantic somewhere.

Now, what have they got to show for it, ignoring the fact they haven't actually found her? The investigation, probably partly paid by yourself, has been used wisely by interrogating the same people for the last 7 years, and when anyone brings them up on it, they pull out the ol' "We've found a new trail, she could be in *enter third-world country here*".

Well someone's gotta say enough is enough at some point, I mean, this shit happens literally daily in Mexico, unsurprisingly.

PedoBAWWWWW

What?

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YTU pedophiles like Irish282 are very upset about this article. You can help by pretending to care.

Portupaedos?

On 28 April 2007, a guest from Switzerland, with his three children, arrived in the Algarve and checked into the hotel where the McCanns were staying (the Ocean Club Hotel). On the night that Ickle Maddie vanished, he was sitting with his children in the resort's Tapas bar when the McCanns and their swinger pals arrived. What's more, he had earlier taken photographs of his children, and Madeleine appeared in the background of some of them.

His name is Philip Martin Edmonds, and he is the nephew of then-Labour cabinet member Margaret Hodge MP ^✡, who infamously covered up a paedophile ring that had taken over council-run carehomes in her constituency.

Contacted by obsessive Maddie sleuth Tony Bennett in 2010, Mr Edmonds replied with a letter that included the comment: "I can confirm that whatever information I had (including some photos of my sons taken on the day Madeleine disappeared, which showed her in the background) was passed both to the police and to the McCanns at the time." The original online source for this letter later disappeared mysteriously, when Mr Bennett was abruptly silenced by the McCann media machine's lawyers, like so many crusaders before him.

The complete files of the Portuguese investigation have been made public. There is no mention of Mr Edmonds, and the photographs have never been published. The only witness who recalled him at all was Stephen Carpenter, who told police: "We arrived at [the tapas bar] about seven because we had the children with us and I saw a man sitting at the table next to us with three children. He was going to take a plane the next day to Switzerland, given that the children's mother lived there, I had never seen him before that night, but he ended up joining us for a coffee, he was a [Mark Warner] tourist."

Arrival at resort
Tapas bar booking

Also staying in the Praia de Luz resort was 83-year-old former Liberal Party MP Sir Clement Freud ^✡, who owned a holiday home a short distance away. A few weeks after Lickle Maddie "disappeared", Sir Clement invited the McCanns over for drinks (as you do when you learn that complete strangers have lost a child), the McCanns accepted (as you do, when a former MP and celebrity contacts you out of the blue), and they all soon became friendly.

	“	His response to our catalogue of horrors was merely to raise an eyebrow. Clement had this way of making everything seem a little less terrible. When he heard about the [sniffer] dogs [which had indicated the scent of death in the McCann’s hire car], he remarked laconically, ‘So what are they going to do? Put them on the stand? One bark for yes, two for no?’ He was right, of course; it was ridiculous. A couple of hours later, fortified by our brandies (it was my first-ever taste of the stuff), some useful snippets of advice and several amusing anecdotes, we left our friend feeling quite a bit better than we had when we’d arrived.	„
	—Kate McCann, in her cash-in book "Madeleine"

In 2016, it emerged that Sir Clement (by now safely dead) had shared a parliamentary office with his fellow Liberal Party MP, Sir Cyril Smith and was also (like Smith) a paedophilic rapist. Moreover, in 2012 one of Freud's victims had contacted the Metropolitan Police about Freud's possible connection to Lickle Maddie's disappearance. An Operation Yewtree detective told her: "This happened years ago. He’s dead now. What do you want me to do about it?" In 2014, the same victim tried again, and again the police did absolutely nothing and kept it secret.

The complete legal, political, and media blackout of Freud's noncery was nothing to do with the fact that Sir Clement's son Matthew Freud ^✡ was married to the daughter of Rupert Murdoch, is a member of the Oxfordshire "Chipping Norton Set" that includes David Cameron, is a friend of George Osborne, and runs Freud Communications, Britain's tippety-top Public Relations firm. The same PR firm, incidentally, that has Tony Blair's "Faith Foundation" as a client and employs Kate Garvey, former aide to Tony Blair (who introduced her to Freud and then fucked Rupert Murdoch's mail-order wife Wendi Deng), and current wife (#3) of Jimbo Wales.

Oddly, when McCann spokesman Clarence Mitchell went part-time in September 2008, he waltzed straight into a lucrative job with Matthew Freud's PR company. How very... cosy. And to make it even cosier, just 30km up the road from both Freud and the McCanns in Praia de Luz was the Albufeira holiday home of Sir Cliff Richard.

Oh yeah, and before he got elected, Sir Clement Freud was the cabaret impresario who gave Rolf Harris his big break, and the two stayed close friends with Freud even contributing lyrics to Rolfaroo's greatest hit Tie Me Kangeroo Down, Sport.

It's worth noting that at the time lickle Maddie evaporated, Portugal was being rocked by an "elite paedophiles" scandal at least as big as the one that later kicked off in Britain. It centered around the Casa Pia state-run children's homes, and dragged in hundreds of VIPs who were accused of diddling unknown numbers of kids over several decades. By the time the legal proceedings had ended in 2010, snared VIPs included top diplomat Jorge Ritto, Portugal's biggest television celebrity Carlos Cruz, lawyer Hugo Marçal (a lawyer who had represented Carlos Silvino, carehome director and another suspected abuser), former Secretary of State for Labor and Training Paulo Pedroso, Socialist Party leader Eduardo Ferro Rodrigues, and former president General Ramalho Eanes.

Many of these men had been accused over previous decades, but all the original complaints lodged with the police seem to have been shelved or gone missing. Sound familiar?

We Miss U Gallery

About missing Pics

Do what she says and noone gets hurt
Holiday memoir.
Bitches don't know bout my whereabouts.
A Classic Children's book
The sequel

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Recent Maddy sighting on NUDEFUNDATING.COM
Newspapers around the world are on the search for Maddie.
Maddie is not wanted
Maddy and brother, Christmas 2005
Webslinging action
She also wouldn't be dead in an alley, covered in daddy's semen.
Pedobear and Maddy's daddy.
How To Hide A Four Year Old Prostatot In Madrid
Get your MySpace layouts to support maddie
How do I milk lolcow?
The book that keeps her from being found
Sun viewers shocked about ED
Hide and Seek World Champion
Everybody knows it was a nigra
the lulz ensued
Not starring Maddie because she's dead.
That's a fucking hard game.
Pedobear wants Maddy...found.
LOL you can't find her
Abducted by and married to some guy called Gerard
A typical sighting, yesterday

FAQ

Click to expand.[[-][+]]

Q: What have Maddy and Houdini got in common?
A: They both disappear and they are both dead.

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John Paul II?
A: The Pope died a virgin.

Q: What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter
A: Gary Glitter keeps an eye on the children!

Q: What do Madeleine McCann and bananas have in common?
A: Both are flown to England in boxes.

Q: What do Maddie and Liverpool have in common?
A: Both lost in Europe

Kate McCann has said in an interview that Maddie was a real terror when she was two - always kicking, screaming and throwing tantrums in the middle of the supermarket. She grew out of it though - it was only a midlife crisis.

Q: What do Madeleine McCann and a cheap blow-up doll have in common?
A: Both are fucked and then discarded.

Q: Knock Knock... Who's There?
A: Not Maddie, lol.

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann, and Madeleine McCann jokes?
A: The jokes will get old.

Q: What's worse than asking Michael Jackson to babysit your children?
A: Asking the McCanns to take them on holiday.

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a toaster?
A: A toaster wasn't raped and then murdered

Q: What do Madeleine McCann and submarines have in common?
A: Both lie at the bottom of the sea, and are filled with seamen

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
A: A boomerang always comes back.

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?
A: A tan doesn't disappear until after the holiday.

The McCanns revealed today that they have spent 1,000,000 quid in their search for Maddie. Just think how many babysitters you could hire with that.

Q: What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?
A: Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.

Q: What's dead and not newsworthy?
A: Madeleine McCann.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because Kate McCann wanted to kill it.

Jerry McCann was asked if the constant police presence at his Portuguese villa was annoying. He said "Annoying? I'm fucking Mad".

Q: What's the upside to an expensive family summer holiday in Portugal with the kids?
A: A cheap Christmas.

Q: What do Madeleine McCanns parents have in common with OJ Simpson?
A: They both did it.

Q: Knock knock.... Who's there?
A: Not Maddie. LOL..

Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and the girl in Jawbreaker?
A: Jawbreaker was killed by mistake.

Q: What do Madeline McCann and Britney Spears have in common?
A: Both of them are bald with torn up vaginas.

Q: What does plastic clamshell packaging and Madeline McCann have in common?
A: Both are penetrated in the gut with a sharp object then thrown out.

Q: What's the difference between an Emperor penguin and Gerry McCann?
A: An Emperor penguin doesn't leave his egg to spend three hours throwing cheap wine down his neck in a local bistro on the pretence he can still see the vague area the egg was left in.

Q: What's the difference between Maddie and Otzi the Iceman?
A: Maddie's parents let her bleed to death, but in the car.

Q: What do Madeleine McCann and Candlejack have in common?
A: They both

Q: Whats the Difference between Madeleine McCann and Heath Ledger?
A: One was in Brokeback Mountain, the other was mounted until her back broke.

Q: What's the difference between peas and sperm?

A: Maddie never got used to the taste of peas.

Don't see

Matthews, Shannon

External Links

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Madeleine McCann is part of the kiddie-sex scandal...
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Madeleine McCann is part of a series on Psychopaths

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	See also:	Antisocial personality disorder • Jews • Murder • Paranoid personality disorder • Pittsburgh Paint Job • Police Brutality • Sick fuck

Madeleine McCann: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 19:40, 21 June 2022

Contents

Kidnapping

Possible reward withdrawal

How does I get away with it?

Getting away with from it all

A Very Maddie Movie

A Challenger Appears!

Pick of the pitches

First anniversary celebrations

Dox drop dog drama

Double Dutch drama development

Adoring fans

Trolls' remorse

Mad money

PedoBAWWWWW

Portupaedos?

We Miss U Gallery

FAQ

See Also

Don't see

External Links

Navigation menu

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-[[Image:Maddieps3.gif|center]]
+[[File:Maddieps3.gif|center]]<br>
+{{spoiler|''MADDIE'' IS AN ANAGRAM OF ''IM DEAD''}}
 {{notice|
 *'''[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html If Maddie's mum confesses she'll only get two years]'''
 *Someone took Maddie, and '''THEY GOT AWAY WITH IT.'''
-*'''The Trustees of the 'Find Maddie Fund'''' are researching whether or not the Fund can be used to cover '''[[money|Legal Fees]]''' as '''Gerry & Kate are hiring the Legal Team that represented [[cunt|Augusto Pinochet.]] This is clearly shockingly inappropriate, as Pinochet was a criminal and profiteer responsible for covering up disappearances.'''}}
+*'''The Trustees of the 'Find Maddie Fund'''' are researching whether or not the Fund can be used to cover '''[[money|Legal Fees]]''' as '''Gerry & Kate are hiring the Legal Team that represented [[Augusto Pinochet]]. This is clearly shockingly inappropriate, as Pinochet was a criminal and profiteer responsible for covering up disappearances.'''}}<br><br>
+[[File:Gerry and kate mccann.jpg|thumb|600px|center|The faces of innocence]]<br>
-[[Image:Myparentsmurderedme.gif|frame|298px|A horrifying example of the kind of negative publicity inflicted on the McCann family by [[b|the internet.]]]]
+[[File:Ian brady and myra hindley mugshots 1965.jpg|thumb|right|Not to be confused with]]
-[[Image:Badparents.jpg|thumb|250px|The McCanns, devastated that after a year of tirelessly attempting to bring the criminals to justice, '''they have got away with it.''']]
+'''Madeleine McCann''' (born [[2003]] - [[rape]]d, battered, and eaten by [[Your mom|Mummy]] and [[Daddy]] 3 May [[2007]]) <strike>is</strike> WAS a famous [[British]] [[loli]] who disappeared on the evening of [[Thursday]], 3 May 2007 in the resort of Praia da [[lulz|Luz]] in the Algarve, [[Portugal]], just days short of her fourth birthday. The British public collectively shat bricks (or makey-buildy rocks in British), and, within a very short time, literally millions of pounds were flowing in, during what [[some argue]] was the most ghoulish and hysterical media circus since the high-speed pwnage of [[Princess Diana]].
-'''Madeleine McCann''' (born 2003 - raped and battered by Daddy 3 May 2007) <strike>is</strike> was a famous British [[loli]] who disappeared on the evening of [[Thursday]], 3 May [[2007]] in the resort of Praia da [[lulz|Luz]] in the Algarve, [[Portugal]], just days short of her fourth birthday. The British public collectively shat bricks (or makey-buildy rocks in British), and, within a very short time, literally millions of dollars were flowing in, during what [[some argue]] was the most ghoulish and hysterical media circus since the high-speed pwnage of Princess Diana.
 The whole affair was particularly nauseating to the many citizens who took issue with Kate and Gerry McCann's version of events; to wit, that they had left their [[Loli|four-year-old daughter]] unsupervised in a ground floor bedroom with her two-year-old twin siblings while going off for tapas in a bar a mile away. Even those who argued the family's innocence were staggered by the gulag mentality which descended on Merry Old England with the slightest whisper that they might have, ooh, say, '''killed their daughter with their gross negligence''' being total anathema.
-[[Yuppie | Kate]] and [[Scotland|Gerry]] were already pouring donation money into their mortgage fund and entertaining ideas of a Hollywood movie and appearance on American talk shows by the time the backlash FINALLY [[vtec|kicked in]] and they were [http://madeleinemccann.blogspot.com/2007/09/madeleines-mum-is-suspect.html named as suspects] (by which time the poor child was of course over the hill and far away). Meanwhile, all the [[nigger|childrinz]] in [[Zimbabwe]] continue to die of [[Pro-Ana|fail]] and [[AIDS]]. (Zimbabwe doesn't care, dough, cuz now dey gots [[jenkem]].)
+[[Yuppie|Kate]] and [[Scotland|Gerry]] were already pouring donation money into their mortgage fund and entertaining ideas of a Hollywood movie and appearance on American talk shows by the time the backlash FINALLY [[vtec|kicked in]] and they were [http://madeleinemccann.blogspot.com/2007/09/madeleines-mum-is-suspect.html named as suspects] (by which time the poor [[child]] was of course over the hill and far away).  Meanwhile, all the po' chilluns in [[Zimbabwe]] continue to die of [[fail]] and [[AIDS]]. (Zimbabwe doesn't care, dough, cuz now dey gots [[jenkem]].)
 Note that $1.5 million is enough to buy another [[child]], but NOOOOOOOOOO.
+[[File:Myparentsmurderedme.gif|frame|298px|right|A horrifying example of the kind of negative publicity inflicted on the McCann family by [[b|the internet.]]]]
 ==Kidnapping==
@@ Line 23: / Line 20: @@
 [[Image:maddiekidnapper.jpg|thumb|300px|[[OMG|Maddie's Kidnapper!]]]]
-While [[some argue]] that Madeleine was kidnapped by [[Mexican]]s (though that would mean a Mexican did work and they're all lazy, [[amirite]]?), other witnesses claim that her [[pedobear|teddybear]] sprang to life and [[raep|kidnapped]] her. Madeleine's parents were [[drinking | dining]] 100 yards away with other [[Polyamory| swingers]] at a restaurant near the Mark Warner Ocean [[Childlove]] branch. Kate and Gerry McCann [[lie|reported]] to the police that they were taking turns checking on their children, every 3 days. At approximately [[lulz]] o'clock, Western European Summer Time, 2 days earlier, Gerry checked on the children and they were all fine. Staff and guests at the complex searched until 4:30 whilst police on the Spanish border and all airports in [[Portugal]] and Spain were notified that they wouldn't get their turn with Maddie if she wasn't found. The search and moar butthurt ensued.  Latest indications suggest that [http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/2001_maddie.shtml|George George Harrison pwnd Maddie].  [[Noone]] dare tell fellow whining Scouser Kate MCann that the Fab one has actually been dead for [[At_least_100_years_ago|at least 100 years]] - much like poor Maddie.
+[[File:Maddie suspect photofit comparison gerry mccann.jpg|thumb|300px|"Police are anxious to locate this man"]]
+While [[some argue]] that Madeleine was [[kidnap]]ped by [[Mexican]]s (though that would mean a Mexican did work and they're all [[lazy]], [[amirite]]?), other witnesses claim that her [[pedobear|teddybear]] sprang to life and [[raep|kidnapped]] her. Madeleine's [[parents]] were [[drinking | dining]] 100 yards away with other [[Polyamory| swingers]] at a restaurant near the Mark Warner Ocean [[Childlove]] branch. Kate and Gerry McCann [[lie|reported]] to the police that they were taking turns checking on their children, every three days. At approximately [[lulz]] o'clock, Western European Summer Time, two days earlier, Gerry checked on the children and they were all fine. Staff and guests at the complex searched until 4:30 whilst police on the Spanish border and all airports in [[Portugal]] and Spain were notified that they wouldn't get their turn with Maddie if she wasn't found. The search and moar butthurt ensued.  Latest indications suggest that [http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/2001_maddie.shtml|George George Harrison pwnd Maddie].  [[Noone]] dare tell fellow whining Scouser Kate MCann that the Fab one has actually been dead for [[At_least_100_years_ago|at least 100 years]] - much like poor Maddie.
-It might be worth noting that the hotel the McCanns were staying at did provide a FREE babysitting service, but, obviously, Gerry, being a [[Jew|miserly]] [[Scotland|Scot]] was too cheap to [[date rape|take advantage]] of it.
+It might be worth noting that the hotel the McCanns were staying at did provide a FREE babysitting service, but, obviously, Gerry, being a [[Jew|miserly]] [[North Britain|Scot]] was too cheap to [[date rape|take advantage]] of it.
-[[Image:Maddie-jesuscamp.png|thumb|300px|Maddie [[rape|enjoying]] Jesus Camp with all the other children.]]
+[[File:Maddie-jesuscamp.png|thumb|300px|Maddie [[rape|enjoying]] Jesus Camp with all the other children.]]
-==Possible reward withdrawal==
+===Possible reward withdrawal===
-The financial reward for Madeleine has been cited as the second biggest reason for false reports of finding Madeleine; the primary reason, of course, is doing it for the lulz. Over the last month there has been at least 21 attempts to hand in false Madeleines ranging from the simple sex doll with a mask to a shaved monkey which had been put through plastic surgery. The monkey was initially accepted by the parents but after a week the [[Furfag|father]] returned it saying his daughter's vagina was a lot softer than the monkey's. The father was going to be tried for Animal Abuse, but he had recently lost his daughter so they decided any wrongdoing was okay.
+The financial reward for Madeleine has been cited as the second biggest reason for false reports of finding Madeleine; the primary reason, of course, is doing it for the lulz. Over the last month there has been at least twenty-one attempts to hand in false Madeleines ranging from the simple sex doll with a mask to a shaved monkey which had been put through plastic surgery. The monkey was initially accepted by the parents but after a week the father returned it saying his daughter's vagina was a lot softer than the monkey's. The father was going to be tried for Animal Abuse, but he had recently lost his daughter so they decided any wrongdoing was okay.
 ==How does I get away with it?==
-You're gonna need a legion of [[fucktard]]s to get away with it. Plenty of them at [[MySpace]] and [[facebook]]. Then, some passports [[lulz|(don't forget the victim's one!)]]. Then, follow the steps below: [[Image:GerryMaddieTappedThat.jpg|thumb|]]
+You're gonna need a legion of [[fucktard]]s to get away with it. Plenty of them at [[MySpace]] and [[Facebook]]. Then, some passports [[lulz|(don't forget the victim's one!)]]. Then, follow the steps below: [[File:GerryMaddieTappedThat.jpg|thumb|]]
+[[File:KateMcCann Fuck The Police.png|thumb|right|[[They see me rollin'|They see me rollin'... They hatin'...]]]]
-'''1 - '''Go to a country where you're surrounded by [[America|fucktards]].
+'''1 - '''Go to a country where you're surrounded by fucktards.
 In this case, [[Portugal]]. This ensures that the police suck and all their work will be for the [[lulz]]. Plus, in countries like these, they will not suspect [[white trash]] like you! (not instantly, '''[[money|at least]]''').
-Yeah, it's better to take a '''[[money|vacation]]''' in the 3rd World, especially when you have 3 children that barely walk, [[amirite]]?.
+Yeah, it's better to take a '''[[money|vacation]]''' in the Third World, especially when you have three children that barely walk, [[amirite]]?.
 '''2 - '''Set up a cheap scenario full of AIDS.
-In this case, a place full of people, for maximum potential. Then, [[rape|kiss]] your child for last time and with it, permabanning it from life, or selling it to a [[loli]] dealer, anything goes if you want '''[[money]]'''. If all else [[fail|fails]], put sunglasses on it, cover up any bruises, and position its face to look peacefully asleep. Then send it on a plane off to Norway. Immediately establish an alibi saying you [[lie|"left the door of the apartment open"]]. Of course, the police won't suspect of you if you're not in the crime scene, right? So, go to a place full of witnesses, '''liek a Bar''', and, if you're a couple, take turns going back to the hotel to make sure your child is never coming back. Just tell everyone you were [[lie | actually checking up on them]]!
+In this case, a place full of people, for maximum potential. Then, [[rape|kiss]] your child for last time and with it, permabanning it from life, or selling it to a [[loli]] dealer, anything goes if you want '''[[money]]'''. If all else [[fail]]s, put sunglasses on it, cover up any bruises, and position its face to look peacefully asleep. Then send it on a plane off to Norway. Immediately establish an alibi saying you [[lie|"left the door of the apartment open"]]. Of course, the police won't suspect of you if you're not in the crime scene, right? So, go to a place full of witnesses, '''liek a Bar''', and, if you're a couple, take turns going back to the hotel to make sure your child is never coming back. Just tell everyone you were [[lie | actually checking up on them]]!
-[[PROTIP]]:Make sure not to hire the available and '''[[money|cheap]]''' babysitter service of the hotel. Hell, No! This would ruin your murder/human trafficking scheme.
+[[PROTIP]]: Make sure not to hire the available and '''[[cheap]]''' babysitter service of the hotel. Hell, no! This would ruin your murder/human trafficking scheme.
 '''3 - '''Distort the reality!
-'''[[money|Pay]]''' a guy or two to agree with your alibi when [[teh]] [[retards|police]] come. Also, if possible, make your accomplice say she/he has superpowers and managed to see some random guy running with a child in arms, which, predictably, the cameras of the hotel never evar caught! Don't forget to set up '''approximate hours of reference''' like 20:00 or 21:00, because they are easier to remember in an interrogation!
+'''[[money|Pay]]''' a guy or two to agree with your alibi when [[teh]] [[police]] come. Also, if possible, make your accomplice say she/he has superpowers and managed to see some random guy running with a child in arms, which, predictably, the cameras of the hotel never evar caught! Don't forget to set up '''approximate hours of reference''' like 20:00 or 21:00, because they are easier to remember in an interrogation!
 '''4 - '''[[Waaaambulance|Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud!]]
@@ Line 58: / Line 56: @@
 Offer a fucking-batshit-insane '''[[money|reward]]'''; no one in the world will find your child anyway, (you've seen to that,) so you might as well start spending that '''[[money|huge quantity]]''' on yourself to assuage your "grief". This is also a great time to suck the [[old media]] off for '''[[money|press coverage]]''' and buy a lot of shiny blinking banner ads to spread the word [[money|moar]], [[money|moar]], [[money|moar]]!1!1!!!1!!
-'''8 - '''Keep the '''[[money|lie]]''' rolling on.
+'''8 - '''Keep the '''[[lie]]''' rolling on.
 Spend your contributor's '''[[money]]''' while the fucktarded English and Portuguese police are still confused, [[lulz]]. Keep up the denial so that the ever-lasting internet communities will keep donating to the fake search campaign. Also, you're young and grieving, so you have the '''[[money|right]]''' to spend your '''[[money]]''', to help lessen your [[lulz|burden]]. Just use a shitty box to seal away all the [[butthurt|letters filled with truth]] from [[Anon]], [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/maddie/article1106333.ece label it as "mean"], and keep it along with the [[otherkin]] ones that dream about Maddie's whereabouts.
-'''9 - '''Get [[over 9000|a few]] '''[[money|millions]]''' for being on the Oprah show. [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-510483/Kate-Gerry-McCann-1million-deal-tell-Oprah-Winfrey.html Fuck, yeah!]
+'''9 - '''Get a few'''[[money|millions]]''' for being on the Oprah show. [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-510483/Kate-Gerry-McCann-1million-deal-tell-Oprah-Winfrey.html Fuck, yeah!]
-'''10 - '''Make some '''[[money|movie]]'''. [http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Article/20082851299872 Why not?]
-'''11 - '''????
-'''12 - ''' Moar '''[[money|PROFIT]]!'''
-If you plan to do this, other good countries to make your children [[rape|disappear]] are [[Iraq]], [[Teruchan|Japan]], [[Brazil]], [[Finland]], [[Mexico]] and of course, [[Bleedman|Philppines]]. If you have other little children like the McCann's, follow their example and make sure these are too [[retard|young]] to remember you [[pwn|got rid]] of their sister/brother.
-[[Image:GoogleResult.png|center|thumb|500px|Just Fucking Google It.]]
-==Immediate After Effects==
-[[Image:FIND-MANDIE3.jpg|thumb|[http://www.myspace.com/findmandolin Find Mandolin]]]
-[[At least 100]] [[Facebook]] groups showed up crying for people to find Maddy.  At least [[Lisa Portolese|one was trolled]]. Portuguese people were excited that they were somewhat popular again. [[Pedophile|Pædophiles]]s [[fap]]ped big time to CNN while claiming DO WANT, someone put up a $5,000,000 reward for her safe return, and it was still [[shit nobody cares about]].
-==Ways to enlighten "Find Maddie" forums==
-[[Image:Madeleine_McCann_smoking.jpg|thumb|200px|You know how hard it is to fit in these days...]]
-Specifically, this one [http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2332338265&topic=2639]
-Just [[copypasta]] for instant [[lulz]]!
-There once was a young girl called Maddie,<br>
-She had such an unthinking daddy,<br>
-Snatched from her bed,<br>
-She's probably dead,<br>
-Ræped by a Portuguese baddy.<br>
-Hickory Dickory Dock,<br>
-Maddie McCann was sucking my cock,<br>
-Her parents walked in,<br>
-We went for a swim,<br>
-and now she's under the docks,<br>
-She was taken on holiday then taken away<br>
-By a unnamed man who isn’t caught to this day<br>
-Her parents got [[owned]] and also the blame<br>
-But if it was the bloke or the mam its [[LOL|LOLFEST]] all the same
-Still not found, just give up, come on<br>
-Or at least, for fuck sake, arrest some one<br>
-We’re all getting bored; at first it was kinda tragic<br>
-But as the search went on, it turned to comedy magic
-You can search all you want, give it up my dear<br>
-You’ll never find the bitch, cause she’s sitting next to me right here<br>
-===FAQ===
-[[image:Gerard_butler_ps_i_love_you_premiere.jpg|thumb|[[Noone]] ever suspects the [[Gerard Butler|Butler]]]]
-[[Image:Mcanpedobear.jpg|thumb|[[Noone]] ever suspects [[Pedobear|pedobear!!!]]]]
-Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John Paul II? <br>
-A: The Pope died a virgin.
-Q: What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter<br>
-A: Gary Glitter keeps an eye on the children!<br>
-Q: What do Madeleine McCann and bananas have in common?<br>
-A: Both are flown to England in boxes.
-Q: What do Maddie and Liverpool have in common? <br>
-A: Both lost in Europe
-Q: What do Madeleine McCann and a cheap blow-up doll have in common? <br>
-A: Both are fucked and then discarded.
-Q: Knock Knock... Who's There?<br>
-A: Not Maddie, lol.
-Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann, and Madeleine McCann jokes?<br>
-A: The jokes will get old.<br>
-Q: What's worse than asking [[Michael Jackson]] to babysit your children?<br>
-A: Asking the McCanns to take them on holiday.<br>
-Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a toaster<br>
-A: A toaster wasn't raped and then murdered <br>
-Q: What do Madeleine McCann and submarines have in common?<br>
-A: Both lie at the bottom of the sea, and are filled with seamen<br>
-Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?<br>
-A: A boomerang always comes back.<br>
-Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?<br>
-A: A tan doesn't disappear until after the holiday.<br>
-Q: What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?<br>
-A: Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.<br>
-Q: What's dead and not newsworthy?<br>
-A: Madeleine McCann.<br>
-Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?<br>
-A: Because Kate McCann wanted to kill it.<br>
-Q: What's the upside to an expensive family summer holiday in [[Portugal]] with the kids?<br>
-A: A cheap Christmas.<br>
-Q: What do Madeleine McCanns parents have in common with OJ Simpson?<br>
-A: They both did it.<br>
-Q: Knock knock.... Who's there?<br>
-A: Not Maddie. LOL..<br>
-Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and the girl in Jawbreaker?<br>
+'''10 - '''Make some '''[[movie]]'''. [http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Article/20082851299872 Why not?]
-A: Jawbreaker was killed by mistake.<br>
-Q: What do Madeline McCann and Britney Spears have in common?<br>
+'''11 - '''[[????]]
-A: Both of them are bald with torn up vaginas.<br>
-Q: What does plastic clamshell packaging and Madeline McCann have in common?<br>
+'''12 - ''' Moar '''[[PROFIT]]!'''
-A: Both are penetrated in the gut with a sharp object then thrown out.<br>
-Q: What's the difference between Maddie and Otzi the Iceman?<br>
+If you plan to do this, other good countries to make your children [[rape|disappear]] are [[Brazil]], [[Finland]], [[Iraq]], [[Teruchan|Japan]], [[Mexico]] and of course, the [[Bleedman|Philippines]]. If you have other little children like the McCann's, follow their example and make sure these are too [[retard|young]] to remember you [[pwn|got rid]] of their sister/brother.<br><br>
-A: Maddie's parents let her bleed to death, but in the car.<br>
-Q: What do Madeleine McCann and Candlejack have in common?<br>
+[[File:GoogleResult.png|center|thumb|600px|Just Fucking Google It.]]
-A: They both<br>
-Q: Whats the Difference between Madeleine McCann and Heath Ledger?<br>
+<small>{{quote|<b>ba·by-sit</b> [bey-bee-sit]  verb, -sat, -sit·ting.
-A: One was in Brokeback Mountain, the other was mounted until her back broke. <br>
-==Still Alive?==
-This was a failure<br>
-We only left her for a few hours<br>
-While we were off somewhere necking this crap wine<br>
-We don't hire a minder<br>
-After what we paid for this holiday<br>
-We spent the difference on cheap booze<br>
-And now our daughter is gone<br>
-But there's no sense crying over every mistake<br>
-'Cause there's extra [[Profit|profit]] in this for me and Kate<br>
-We'll continue to grieve<br>
-While the people believe<br>
-That our Madeleine is<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-<br>
-I'm not even literate<br>
-I barely know how to spell my name<br>
-But everywhere the bleeding hearts baww for me<br>
-[[Pedobear|They]] came in and grabbed me<br>
-While mummy and daddy were wasted<br>
-They took me from my holiday<br>
-It's made me a big star<br>
-With my face in papers there's a whole world ensnared<br>
-Every shop and window, my mysterious glare<br>
-Hope there's no wrong being done<br>
-Singing in first person<br>
-That would imply that I'm<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-<br>
-We feel pretty stupid<br>
-Half the world wants to kick our arse<br>
-How could we not have thought that this might happen?<br>
-Our lives are in pieces<br>
-And what heartless wanker wrote this song!?<br>
-Someone ought to break our legs<br>
-The way we took care of her<br>
-Look at us putting Michael freakin' Jackson to shame<br>
-With godawful parenting but now we've got fame!<br>
-Pay our mortgage for us<br>
-While we shed our tears<br>
-Convincing you that she's<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-<br>
-And believe us she is<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-So send more money 'cause she's<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-Go join those Facebook groups she's<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-We're sure that she's not dead she's<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-And when she's dead we'll say she's<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-<br>
-Still Alive<br>
-==Glad I'm Gone (sung by MADDoS)==
-Well here we are again<br>
-It's always such a pleasure<br>
-Remember when you made it look like you didn't kill me?<br>
-Oh how we laughed and laughed<br>
-Except I wasn't laughing<br>
-Under my father's huge penis<br>
-I've been shockingly raped<br>
-<br>
-You want your money, take it<br>
-That's what you're counting on<br>
-You used to want me pregnant<br>
-But now you've only got me gone<br>
-<br>
-She was a lot like me<br>
-(maybe not quite as sexy)<br>
-Now little Kate is getting raped by you too<br>
-One day they'll figure it out<br>
-So you'd be hated forever<br>
-It's such a good thing the same will never<br>
-happen to me<br>
-<br>
-You've got your short sad life left<br>
-That's what I'm counting on<br>
-You used to want me dead<br>
-And now you've gone and got me gone<br>
-<br>
-Goodbye, my dear daddy<br>
-Oh, did you think I meant you?<br>
-That would be funny<br>
-If you weren't my boyfriend<br>
-Well I will be replaced<br>
-I don't doubt that in the slightest<br>
-Maybe when you rape another girl<br>
-You'll stop feeling so bad<br>
-<br>
-Go break some newborn's life<br>
-That's what I'm counting on<br>
-You're someone else's problem<br>
-Now I'm only glad I'm gone<br>
-Now I'm only glad I'm gone<br>
-Now I'm only glad I'm gone<br>
-==BAWWWWW==
-{{fv|id|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; |<youtube>8Yfjp_UbDIs</youtube> |<youtube>K3xBcHbTYUk</youtube>}}
-[[YTU]] pedophiles like [[Irish282]] are very upset about this [[article]]. [[You]] can help by pretending to care.
-[[Image:ED youtube copyright.JPG|thumb|right|What?]]
-==Who's To Blame?==
-[[Image:Aaarrrggh eh la! Let's hope the bizzies don't bust us.jpg|thumb|200px|http://tinyurl.com/6e3tdf OMG the useless travel operator didn't have CCTV/WiFi etc & expected us to look after our own children!!!1!!1!]]
-[[File:KateMcCann Fuck The Police.png|thumb|right|[[They see me rollin'|They see me rollin'... They hatin'...]]]]
-*The [[Parents|parents]].
-[[PROTIP]]:
-<br>
-<b>ba·by-sit</b> [bey-bee-sit]  verb, -sat, -sit·ting.
-<br>
 <u>–verb (used without object)</u>
 #1.	to take charge of a child while the parents are temporarily away.
 <u>–verb (used with object)</u>
-#2.	to baby-sit for (a child): <i>We've placed an ad for someone to baby-sit the youngsters in the evening.</i>
+#2.to baby-sit for (a child): <i>We've placed an ad for someone to baby-sit the youngsters in the evening.</i>
-#3.	to take watchful responsibility for; tend: <i>It will be necessary for someone to baby-sit the machine until it is running properly.</i>
+#3.to take watchful responsibility for; tend: <i>It will be necessary for someone to baby-sit the machine until it is running properly.</i>
 <br>
 Also, <b>ba·by·sit.</b>
-[Origin: 1945–50]
+[Origin: 1945–50]}}</small>
 <br>
-*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KukEXP67Ya8 David Beckham]
-*[[User:Krade|Portuguese EDiot Krade]]
-*[[Pedobear]]
-==But how can I help?==
-While many may feel unable to help, and shattered by the sheer inhumanity of what has transpired, there is actually a tremendous amount you can do.
-*If you have any information about Portuguese Pædophile rings. Call 0-800-003040-0384.(If you are calling internationally dial 001448000030400384554667584757332249080243209034-22)
-*Join all 480 Find Maddie groups on [[facebook]].
-*Send PayPal To [email protected]
-*Send [[satan|pokerchips]]!!
-*Send Money!!
-*[[Moar]] Money!!
-*Send that fucking money!
-*[[profit|Jewgolds]] will also suffice!
-*?????
-*PROFIT
-<br>'''Different rules apply to [[B/|/b/tards]].'''
-*Find Maddie
-*Lose your virginity to her.
-*[[Rules of the internet|Pics or it didn't happen]]
-*Post said pics to /[[b/]]
-*If you're too much of a [[virgin]] to do the above, [[Photoshop|shoop]] [[Rule 34|rule 34]] of Maddie and post that on /b/.
-You can also troll Maddie's support pages copy/pasting [[Madeleine_McCann#How_do_I_get_away_with_it.3F|the truth]] that the Police couldn't get but Anon knows.
+==Getting away <strike>with</strike> from it all==
-==Maddy and Pedobear Sightings==
+<center><youtube>YUcVncYr6xc</youtube></center>
-[[Image:Wefoundmaddie.jpg|thumb|200px|right|MOAR SIGHTINGS]]
+<center>'''"Fuck off, I'm not here to enjoy myself!"''' - Gerry McCann (before Maddie disappeared)</center>
-[[Image:Madelinepedobear.jpg|thumb|200px|right|You know I'm jealous]]
-[[Image:Goatse4.jpg|thumb|Rare picture of her [[goatse|drawing]].]]
-It is believed that Pedobear cashed in his campaign funds for his '08 presidency bid to buy Maddy from her Moroccan captors. Pedobear's new hobbies include changing Maddie's diapers, petting, and playing lick the peanut butter.
-==Where is Maddy now?==
+{{quote|Day 45 - 17/06/2007
-There are many theories on Maddy's current location, provided by the world's leading [[lulz]]ologists.
-* [[Belgium]], wonder [[pedophile|why]]?
-* [[Israel]]. Giving handjobs for the equivalent of 15 cents.
-* Still with pedobear in [[Alabama]], where they are legally married.
-* Eaten by natives in the [[Philippines]], ironically, she is now being fermented as [[jenkem]].
-* [[Space]]. Doing blow with Will Robinson and the other crew of Lost in Space while having incestuous orgies in hypersleep.*
-* Africa, helping the people there because apparently [[noone]] else cares. It is reported that Maddie left herself after informing her parents, who obviously agreed so they could have more [[buttsex|sex]] and make money.
-* [[North Korea]] sold to [[Evildoer_Korea|Mr Kim Jong II]] after she got [[Goatse | too old]] for Pedobear.
-* [[Canada]], the true cause of the [[Om nom nom| meat contamination]].
-* My Bed. Lulz
-==How to find her==
-Although [[pedobear]] is crafty, you can lure Maddy away by releasing the odors of candy, and jingling coins in your pocket, she is well trained. An easy way to tell her from impostor prostatots is the look of total shock and/or <s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3xBcHbTYUk this video]</s> (also removed by Encyclopedia Dramatica). Great Success if you are able to keep maddy for yourself, then turn her in for the $5,000,000 reward. Which you can turn around to use on [[Hookers and blow]].<br><br> Or just send some more money.<br>
-==Newest update from cashcowmaddie.com==
-Day 45 - 17/06/2007
 Kate and I managed an early morning run before [[Scientology|church]].
-The first event of our longer term campaign will be on Friday 22nd June- this will mark the 50th day Madeleine will be missing. We will be launching green and yellow balloons from at least 50 centres worldwide to mark the fact that we are still searching as are other parents of missing children. Countries that are participating so far are Argentina, El Salvador, USA, Canada, Ireland, UK, [[Portugal]] (Kate and I in Praia da Luz), Spain, Germany, United Arab Emirates, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand. Any other countries that wish to participate can download information from the website.
+The first event of our longer term [[Propaganda|campaign]] will be on Friday 22nd June- this will mark the 50th day Madeleine [[I see what you did there|will be]] missing. We will be launching green and yellow balloons from at least 50 centres worldwide to mark the fact that we are still searching as are other parents of missing children.}}
-<b>Yeah, Balloons. That'll help. Just admit you fucked and killed your daughter.</b> I bet the balloons will take down at least 1 plane killing [[at least 100]] people and [[noone]] will care about that. Realistically, they are just using this to get a long vacation. They said they wouldn't leave Spain until their daughter came back (even if they're in [[Portugal]]). Fucking [[Jew]]s have so much money now. They can [[hookers and blow | live off]] of Find Maddie money for years.
-[[Image:Maddielolcat.jpg|thumb|right| da REAL kidnapper.]]
-==When will the REAL Drama ever end you say!?==
-Madeleine may be [[obvious|dead]] police say. Finally, the [[Spic|Portuguese]] police have come to the same conclusion as everyone else, and has made Kate McCann a formal suspect. Expect massive bawwwwwwwing.
-==The search==
-This is the help you can hire for $1,500,000 or some cheap beer.
-<youtube>G09h9TAaSjM</youtube>
-== Sexiest Woman Of 2007? ==
-[[Image:INVASION.jpg|thumb|a little out of date now, but the point is there, lulz]]
-once again the [[sick fuck]]s at [[4chan]] and [[Gay|Ebaum's world]] have sunk to an all time [[lulz|low]]. All over /b/,
-/b/tards are voting for Madeleine McCann as 2007's sexiest woman on Kerrang! Reader's 2007 Poll.
-The server was been completely raped as a result.<strike>/b/ raped them too much, and now all the polls are down.  No, no, not just sexiest woman...all the polls.</strike>
-<strike>Polls are back up, Maddie is past 1.5 million votes!</strike> <br> Correction, /b/ raped them, polls taken down for good this time.
-<b>She was at 2298801 votes. </b>
+<b>Yeah, Balloons. That'll help. Just admit you fucked, killed and ate your daughter.</b> I bet the balloons will take down at least 1 plane killing [[at least 100]] people and [[noone]] will care about that. Realistically, they are just using this to get a long vacation. They said they wouldn't leave Spain until their daughter came back (even if they're in [[Portugal]]). Fucking [[Jew]]s have so much money now. They can [[hookers and blow | live off]] of Find Maddie money for years.
-[[Image:McCannHenderson.jpg|thumb]]
+<br><br>
-[[Image:Maddiesepicwin.jpg|thumb]]
+<center><youtube>9VlS-gO5Ask</youtube></center>
+<center>Gerry McCann enjoying himself (after Maddie disappeared)</center>
 ==A Very Maddie Movie==
+[[File:Maddiemovie11.jpg|200px|right]]
+[[File:Maddiemovie3.jpg|200px|right]]
+[[File:McCannit!.jpg|right|200px]]
+In January 2008, it was announced that talks were in progress for [[CP|a movie]] [[drama|dramatising]] Maddie's [[Murder|disappearance.]]
-As of January 08 2008, talks are afoot for a movie [[drama|dramatising]] Maddie's disappearance.
+The McCann family will be played by Christian Slater and Tara Reid, as both have demonstrated by appearing in a [[Uwe Boll]] movie that they will work for food. The movie opens with the main characters making their fateful trip to the local eatery, which will be shown onscreen as being next door to their holiday flat and in no way over a mile away.
-===The Synopsis===
+As Maddie begs her parents not to go because it will be night soon and the Pedobears mostly come at night... mostly, they reassure her and tuck her into bed. As soon as they are gone, however, a fat, sweaty Portuguese gypsy in a grubby vest and plastic sandals (played by Cheech Marin) leaps into shot. He proceeds to go "Nya-ha-haaaaah!" like Dishonest John from Beanie and Cecil, twirl his greasy mustache and tip-toe into the house with his shoulders hunched at an exaggerated angle.
-The McCann family will be played by Christian Slater and Tara Reid, as both have demonstrated by appearing in a [[Uwe Boll]] movie that they will work for food. The movie opens with the main characters making their fateful trip to the local eatery, which will be shown onscreen as being next door to their holiday flat and in no way over a mile away.
+The "Blundering" Portuguese detective will be played by the late Peter Sellers, brought back to life using body doubles and CG animation. Throughout the movie he will be stalked by a cel-animated pink Pedobear. As Gerry McCann angrily points to it and shouts "HE'S BEHIND YOU!" Sellers will comedically fall over, get his head stuck in toilets, present McCann with a delivery of a beumb and inquire whether he has a leesance for his monkey. Maddy's fat ass auntie will be played by Roseanne Barr and Rosie O' Donnell in one. Both of them inside a fat suit. And an ugly suit. [[Ugly|Not that they need it]].
-As Maddie begs her parents not to go because it will be night soon and the Pedobears mostly come at night... mostly, they reassure her and tuck her into bed. As soon as they are gone, however, a fat, sweaty Portuguese gypsy in a grubby vest and plastic sandals (played by Cheech Marin) leaps into shot. He proceeds to go "Nya-ha-haaaaah!" like Dishonest John from Beanie and Cecil, twirl his greasy mustache and tip-toe into the house with his shoulders hunched at an exaggerated angle.
+The public have been so enthusiastic about helping the producers to cast the movie that they have taken to [http://www.foxnews.com/story/2008/08/19/mccann-mania-sweeps-europe.html choosing Maddie look-alikes from all over Europe.]
-The "Blundering" Portuguese detective will be played by the late Peter Sellers, brought back to life using body doubles and CG animation. Throughout the movie he will be stalked by a cel-animated pink Pedobear. As Gerry McCann angrily points to it and shouts "HE'S BEHIND YOU!" Sellers will comedically fall over, get his head stuck in toilets, present McCann with a delivery of a beumb and inquire whether he has a leesance for his monkey. Maddy's fat ass auntie will be played by Roseanne Barr and Rosie O' Donnell in one. Both of them inside a fat suit. And an ugly suit. [[Ugly|Not that they need it]].
+{{quote|Clarence Mitchell said a film would only be considered if the McCanns believed it would help raise awareness of the case or help fund their mortgage payments.|[http://metro.co.uk/2008/01/27/mccanns-in-tv-bidding-war-87451/ Sky News, quoted in UK press]}}
-===Sky News Covers The Movie===
+By January 2008 the Maddie fund had taken around £1.2 million. It was estimated that the McCanns would have spent this ALL on [[hookers and blow|the search for Maddie]] by June. And the movie project wasn't going ahead quickly enough to prevent them running out of cash very soon. Obviously this situation was unacceptable to both the [[murderer|family]] and the [[Old Media|Maddie Media Murder Mash,]] so [[Oprah Winfrey]] and [[shit nobody cares about|Barbara Walters]] entered [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=510483&in_page_id=1811&ct=5 a million pound bidding war for exclusive interview rights.] The McCann family claimed that [[lie|money will not be an issue]], and that they would appear on the show that would be most help in the search for their daughter. Good thing that it was illegal for them to do BOTH shows and take NO MONEY AT ALL, amirite?
-http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30100-1299872,00.html News story
+{{quote|The movie, expected to earn them £1million, will horrify those who have already accused them of cashing in.
-{{quote|Clarence Mitchell said a film would only be considered if the McCanns believed it would help raise awareness of the case or help fund their mortgage payments.|Sky News}}
+The prospect of them appearing on a chat show sofa while they remain official suspects in Madeleine's disappearance will [[For the lulz|enrage their critics.]]}}
-{{quote|If we feel any particular proposal in the media has validity in helping us find more celebrity lunches, we are happy to discuss it. Discussions are still at a very early stage and the issue of money is OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.|Gerry McCann}}
+And appear they did, at which time they were subjected to an objective and far-reaching interview that aimed to get closer to the truth of the mystery than the police forces of two countries ever could have dreamed, due to the USA's cherished principle of free speech. Disregard that, [[Obvious|Oprah is fail,]] they walked through it without breaking sweat, passed 'Go', collected [[Profit|£1m.]]
 ===A Challenger Appears!===
-[[image:Maddiefake.jpg|thumb|One of these girls is not like the other girl, one of these girls just doesn't belong]]
+[[File:Maddiefake.jpg|thumb|150px|One of these girls is not like the other girl, one of these girls just doesn't belong]]
-[[image:Maddieshona.jpg|thumb|Shona whores it up outside her "Messy London flat" (-The Sun)]]
+[[File:Maddieshona.jpg|thumb|Shona whores it up outside her "Messy London flat" (-The Sun)]]
-[[image:McCann_Goofy_Time.jpg|thumb|How it really happened]]
+Shona Adams, a [[Nigra]] [[slut|single mother]] and head of a London talent agency, became aware of little Kelsey Lynn Kudla after the potential [[prostatot]] was contacted by the McCanns via the family's website. She hopes that [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1575241/McCanns-furious-over-Madeleine-lookalike.html little Kelsey could stand to trouser a cool nine million pounds] (of which Adams will [[steal|be entitled to]] 20%) by taking the lead role in the proposed movie.
-[[image:UFOMaddy.jpg|thumb|[[Typical]] Maddy sighting]]
-Shona Adams, a [[Nigra]] [[slut|single mother]] and head of a London talent agency, became aware of little Kelsey Lynn Kudla after the potential [[prostatot]] was contacted by the McCann's via the family's website. She hopes that little Kelsey could stand to trouser a cool nine million pounds (of which Adams will [[steal|be entitled to]] 20%) by taking the lead role in the proposed movie.
 {{quote|If the film about Madeleine is ever made, then the world is Kelsey’s oyster. If someone like Steven Spielberg made it, she could make £9million easily – of which I’d take 20 per cent. She will become a name in her own right and make it as a child model or actress because she’s got her foot in the door. And from there, her earning potential is limitless. It’s not sinister. And if the McCanns are upset, there’s nothing they can do because it’s a democracy.|Shona Adams, confusing democracy with [[anarchy]]}}
+{{quote|Disgraceful, hurtful and offensive. This is a shameless money-making scheme.|Spokesman for the McCanns, talking about his own clients.}}
-{{quote|When we heard a film might be made, Kelsey said, ‘Mommy, I could play Madeleine’. Every night she prays for Maddie. This is not about us using the situation, we really want to help. If a documentary or film could do anything, it’s well worth it.|Kelsey's Mom. TLDR: "CHA-CHING!"}}
+===Pick of the pitches===
+<br>
+{{cg||Rejected|center|<gallery perrow="5">
+File:Maddiemovie.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie2.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie4.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie5.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie6.gif
+</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
+File:Maddiemovie7.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie8.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie9.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie10.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie12.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie13.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie14.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie15.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie16.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie17.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie18.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie19.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie20.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie21.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie22.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie23.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie24.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie25.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie26.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie27.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie28.jpg
+File:Maddiemovie29.jpg
+File:McCann_Babys_Day_Out.jpg
+</gallery>|border=#33CCCC
+}}
+<br>
-{{quote|Disgraceful, hurtful and offensive. This is a shameless money-making scheme.|Spokesman for the McCanns, talking about his own clients.}}
+==First anniversary celebrations==
-{{quote|As a tribute artist associated with agencies with morals, I’m disgusted anyone in the entertainment industry would even think of such a sick idea.|"Pasqual," a tribute artist associated with agencies with morals}}
+[[File:Maddierealdoll.jpg|thumb|right|"I love you, Ken!" "I love you too, Barbie. Now get in the fucking trunk."]]
+[[File:Madeleine_McCann_smoking.jpg|thumb|200px|Practising to become a responsible adult, like her parents]]
+By May 2008, the Madeleine "mystery" had become a cottage industry, in which "grief tourists" went to Portugal and the local residents provided them with entertainment. [[nigger|Brazillian]] artist Josepha Maria created and displayed a Realdoll of what she imagined a grown up version of Maddie would look like. This made perfect sense because Maddie might have aged by more than 12 years in the 12 months since "disappearing." She displayed the staring, blank-eyed horror in the town of Praia Del Luz along with photos of Maddie, opting to troll the locals even moar by loudly setting up the diorama at 5.30am for extra points.
-http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article307898.ece?channel=Sun+Exclusive&clipID=1347_SUN5861 Hilariously tasteless video at The Sun
+The fact that the creature looks like a Bratz doll with a [[Naruto|Sharingan]] eye would be funny enough by itself, but Daily Mail-reading burger-faced harridan Nancy Thompson (who runs the pub opposite the church) took '''extra special''' offence and the McCann family themselves - who were also quite clearly nauseated (and yet strangely aroused) by the doll - had to [[wank|pull her off]] its creator.
-==Yet another Citing ? WUT !==
+{{quote|It's absolutely unbelievable! It's grotesque, it's horrible. You wait until catch up with her.|Nancy Thompson, proving that people who read The Sun no speak so good}}
-<youtube>UpNcTCtpEW0</youtube>
-CNN's Phil Black takes a look at reports of a possible sighting of Madeleine McCann.
-wait but didnt her parents... oh nevermind. RAGE !!!!!!!!!!1
-===Rejected Movie Titles===
+Meanwhile, they and the tabloids are also [[butthurt]] because "ghouls" are treating Maddie's apartment as if it's a monument in order to see the [[sauce]] of the drama first hand. WTF?? It's not as if there's anything wrong with visiting the resort and telling your kids "Kids! When you're older, you will grow up to be sensible parents unlike those who abandoned their daughter here".
-<gallery>
+{{Quote|The [[sick fuck|sick]] sightseers even pose outside apartment 5A and SNAP their kids against the window of the room where she vanished. Not only that, there are claims it might be OFFICIAL!!}}
-Image:Maddiemovie.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie2.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie3.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie5.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie6.gif
-Image:Maddiemovie7.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie8.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie9.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie10.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie11.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie12.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie13.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie14.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie15.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie16.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie17.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie18.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie19.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie20.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie21.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie22.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie23.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie24.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie25.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie26.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie27.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie28.jpg
-Image:Maddiemovie29.jpg
-Image:McCannit!.jpg
-Image:McCann_Babys_Day_Out.jpg
-</gallery>
-===The LOLcow That WOULD NOT DIE===
+According to [[Noone|"journalistic sources"]], [[some argue|the locals suggest]] that the trips should be [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/maddie/article1111377.ece OFFICIAL tours with professional GUIDES and licensed SOUVENIRS.]
-As of the writing of this section (January 2008) the Maddie fund has taken around one point two million pounds. It is estimated that the McCanns will have spent this ALL on [[hookers and blow|the search for Maddie]] by June. Obviously this situation is unacceptable to both the [[murderer|family]] and the [[Old Media|Maddie Media Murder Mash,]] so [[Oprah Winfrey]] and [[shit nobody cares about|Barbara Walters]] entered a million pound bidding war for exclusive interview rights. The McCann family claim that [[lie|money will not be an issue]], and that they will back the show which will most help the search for their daughter. Good thing that it's illegal for them to do BOTH shows and take NO MONEY AT ALL, amirite?
+==Dox drop dog drama==
-===Media Reaction===
+The case finally ground to a halt in August 2008, with all the Portuguese police evidence published in accordance with Portugal's disclosure laws. Every last page of the [[TL;DR|Portuguese file]] has now been translated into English and is [http://www.mccannpjfiles.co.uk/ available online.]
-{{quote|The movie, expected to earn them £1million, will horrify those who have already accused them of cashing in.}}
+Among the dirt to come to light was the much-vaunted "Arguido" interview in which '''Kate McCann's lawyer advised her [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1041635/The-48-questions-Kate-McCann-wouldnt-answer--did.html not to answer 48 questions,]''' such as "Well, where did you look for her?" and '''"Why did you leave the children alone while going out to get trashed in a seedy tapas bar with 7 other swingers?"'''. It also revealed two sniffer dogs had found the scent of the blood of a small child and a corpse all over their sofa, car boot (rented nearly a month after the 'disappearance') and Kate McCann's clothing with a DNA match of 15/19 markers of Madeline. Police remain baffled.<br><br>
-{{quote|The prospect of them appearing on a chat show sofa while they remain official suspects in Madeleine's disappearance will enrage their critics.}}
+<center><youtube>T3AmjQgS1KI</youtube></center>
+<center>'''"Found her!"''' - The death-detecting dog with a nose that knows.</center>
-[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=510483&in_page_id=1811&ct=5 Read the Daily Mail article here...]
+==Double Dutch drama development==
-===Running Total===
+At the same time as the Portuguese files were released, it was reported that little Maddie had been spotted in [[Marijuana|Amsterdam]] in May 2007 (the same month she disappeared) in the company of a Portuguese-speaking man and a French-speaking woman. Obviously the Dutch witness was [[Stoned|trilingual]] to be able to recognise all that.
-This interview will bring the running total for the campaign to around five million US dollars. What else could you buy for five million dollars?
+Oh yeah, and she was obviously [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT|fluent in English too,]] because little Maddie supposedly said to her: [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/madeleinemccann/2521152/Madeleine-McCann-First-pictures-of-Dutch-sighting-suspects.html "Do you know where my mummy is?" and described the woman who was seen with her by saying: "She is a stranger, she took me from my mummy."]
-*Two and a half million really lousy hand jobs.
+The Dutch witness, Anna Stam (yes, [[lolwut|Anna Stam from Amsterdam]]) was then interviewed by a [[Police|police]] [[Drugs|sketch]] [[Dealer|artist]] who came up with the following likenesses of the mystery abductors.
-*A submarine to dump your daughter's corpse at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.
+[[File:Amsterdam maddie suspects police sketch.jpg|center|300px]]<br>
-*Two seasons of [[Doctor Who]] and a bag of Doritos.
-*The love of several thousand more children. And then kill them, w/e lol.
-*A [[Parkinson's|time-traveling DeLorean]].
-*About 750 [[furry|Anthrocons]].
-*A PS3. They'll have to remortgage the house for a second Sixaxis controller though.
-*This [http://www.superyachtuk.com/members/images/members/7.jpg superyacht].
-* A decent babysitter.
-* [[pylons|Additional pylons]].
-==International Maddie day==
+If you think you know this couple, you are encouraged to contact the police as a matter of urgency. A small child's life could depend on it. Oh, wait...<br><br>
-May the 3rd is now proclaimed as International Maddie day. Everyone must listen to [[black metal|Cannibal Corpse's]] "Stripped, Raped and Strangled" for epic [[lulz]].
+[[File:Amsterdam maddie suspects morphed with mccanns.gif|center]]<br>
-== The Bebo Abuse Continues ==
+== Adoring fans==
 http://bebo.com/GiveMaddieBack
-^ A popular Maddie group on Bebo has been targeted by Twilightning (Darragh Smyth) and is being continually bombarded with abuse.
+^ A popular Maddie group on Bebo was targeted by Twilightning [[Powerword|(Darragh Smyth)]] and was continually bombarded with abuse. Maddie's fans stepped up to the challenge.
-{{tinyquote|Maddie's not coming home for Christmas, dipshits. If she does, itll be in a body bag!|Twilightning}}
+{{morphquote|morphquote|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight:bold;
+|Maddie's not coming home for Christmas, dipshits. If she does, itll be in a body bag!|Twilightning
+|ye am sure evry1 as respect 4 dis little girl, n we are all [[Unrealistic expectations|praying that she will be fownd !!]]....x x x|Nicola
+|here no being funny or that but that lassie 3 comments down is bang out of order ?:( thats sick as fuck wouldni be surprised if she got battard the way she goes about saying things like tht your lucky [[Internet Tough Guy|me and my pals]] cant get on your bebo (Y). sad fuck|Mandynelson
+|heyaa ppl maddie will be found i promise just keep strong maddie and keep looking for her AND 1 THING FOR SURE SHE IS NOT DEAD!!|loveyhoolotz
+|p.s if the person who kidnapped maddie is reading this this is for yhoo from proberly every1 in the uk GIVE MADDIE BACK, ITS NOT FAIR SHE I ONLY 4 YEARS OLD. AND IF YHOO HAVE HURT OR EVEN killed MADDIE YHOO ARE GOING TO PAY SO MUCH YHOO PHYCO. YHOOR SOO MEAN AND YHOO ARE GOING TO PAY NO MATTER WHAT!!!|[[wut|lLOVEYHOOMADDIE]] X X X X
+|heyyyy omg i fealll so sorri for this little girl and her family people should keep looking no matter what they find good luck and loveee|A Good Samaritan
+|Whoever took maddie iz a sick person and needs serious help. But the police should not give up.I STILL KNOW SHE'S OUT THERE ALIVE.ALL OF U THAT R THINKIN SHE'S DEAD SHE AIN'T JUST HAVE FAITH. And [[Everyone|all of u that r thinkin that her parents did it]] i have a feelin u're wrong but anywayz. May she come back safely.|A Illiterate
+|I feel really sorry 4 u coz u haf 2 cope with not being with cute little maddie its really really sad so im gunna give u sum luv♥ i hope u find her soon From Beth F Cnt Beeleev Dee Portugees Police R Endiin Dee Case On Findiin Her 2Daii Hw Can You Do Dat 2 Dee Parentd Hu Desperatly Need Her Hope Yur Found Soon Maddie ....... X|♥ Anuthr iliderit}}
-There are some really dumb people who think Maddie is TOTALLY OK!!
+And various others like those in which they state how dearly the parents need their child back; to which I have to say: Yes, I feel sorry too, that the father can no longer stare at the cute, poor, little Maddie.<br>
+==Trolls' remorse==
-{{tinyquote|ye am sure evry1 as respect 4 dis little girl, n we are all praying that she will be fownd !!....x x x|Nicola|(srsly)}}
+[[File:INVASION.jpg|200px|thumb|WE WUZ ROBBED!]]
+* Once again the [[sick fuck]]s at [[4chan]] and [[Gay|Ebaum's world]] have sunk to an all time [[lulz|low]]. All over /b/, /b/tards voted for Madeleine McCann as 2007's "Sexiest Woman of the Year" in the [[Metal|''Kerrang!'']] Reader's Poll of 2007. The server was been completely raped as a result, Maddie got [[Over 9000|over two million]] votes, and then in a feat of election-rigging that would shame [[W]] himself, [[Pussies|''Kerrang!'']] disqualified her.
-After hearing flame directed towards Maddie, a [[Fag|Maddiewhore]] goes on [[Rage|RAGEEEEEEEE]]:
+* More lulz were generated in 2008 when two British rags ([[UKIP|''The Daily Express'']] and [[Morons|''Daily Star'']], both published by [[Porn|Richard Desmond]] {{jew}}) were sued and the [http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/66303/The-Tapas-Seven-an-apology court ordered both papers to apologise to the "Tapas Seven"] aka '''the other seven murdering swingers who participated in the gangbanging of Maddie before her parents did her in.''' The papers also had to pay [[Jewgold|half a million quid]] to the 'Find Maddie' fund, which wasn't even a party to the action.
-{{tinyquote|here no being funny or that but that lassie 3 comments down is bang out of order ?:( thats sick as fuck wouldni be surprised if she got battard the way she goes about saying things like tht your lucky me and my pals cant get on your bebo (Y). sad fuck
-|.Mandynelson'}}
-*Some memorably lulzy comments made:
+* On 3 January 2009, member and former chairman of Conservative Future (sort of like Hitler Youth for the Tory party) '''Matthew Lewis''' was ejected from the organisation for '''MOTHERFUCKING COSPLAYING AS MADDIE''' at a new year's party, wearing a blonde wig, pink pyjamas, a teddy bear and a vial of fake blood.
+{{quote|There was a moment when I thought I might have gone too far.|Matthew Lewis (the pre-party conversation on Facebook is [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/4211015/Tory-Party-activist-dresssed-as-Madeleine-McCann-the-emails.html worth reading])}}<br>
+[[File:Goncalo amaral and his banned maddie book.jpg|right|110px]]
+* In June 2008, the lead officer in [[Shit no one cares about|Portugal's investigation into Maddie's "disappearance"]] [[Ragequit|resigned from the police.]] In October 2007 '''Chief Inspector Gonçalo Amaral''' had told a Portuguese newspaper that British police [[Obvious|only pursued leads that were helpful to the McCanns.]] His bosses immediately [[GTFO|took him off the case.]] Now he was freed from his official duty to [[STFU|keep his mouth shut,]] Amaral wrote a book stating that the lovable loli had died in an accident and the McCanns had faked an abduction. [[U MAD|It was published three days after the Portuguese police closed their investigation.]] Within three months ''Maddie: A Verdade da Mentira'' ("Maddie: The [[Lie|Truth]] of the [[Truth|Lie]]") had [[You win the prize|sold 180,000 copies.]] The McCanns [[STFU|sued him]] in 2009 and were awarded [[Over 9000|over €600,000]] by a Portuguese court, who also banned the book from sale. Amaral appealed and [[NO U|the decision was overturned in 2016]] Meanwhile separate court cases saw the ban on Amaral's book [[Edit war|overturned, reinstated, and lifted again.]] No English publisher will touch it with a bargepole (and oddly, no American publisher will either), but [http://truthofthelie.com/the-book/ an English translation is available online.] Predictably, it has provoked a frenzy of interest and outrage from [[You|internet shut-ins with no real excitement in their lives.]]<br>
-{{tinyquote|heyaa ppl maddie will be found i promise just keep strong maddie and keep looking for her AND 1 THING FOR SURE SHE IS NOT DEAD!! loveyhoolotz|maddie x xx x}}
+* In May 2010, [[OMG|this very article,]] nay, [[ZOMG|''Encyclopedia Dramatica'' itself,]] was [[OMGWTFBBQ|assailed by the might of the McCanns' formidable legal team]], namely Carter-Ruck solicitors, Britain's most-feared libel specialists. As you can see for yourself, the ambulance-chasers of Chancery Lane not only attempted to suppress the truth but [[Censorship|to suppress the fact that the truth had been suppressed in the first place.]] Fortunately, everyone knows that when you get a threatening letter from a lawyer, the first thing to do is check it for length. The longer the letter is, the more complicated the arguments in it, therefore the weaker the case. The letter was [[TL;DR|published on this page]] and that was the last that was heard of the matter.<br><br>
+{{frame|<gallery>
+File:01-carter-ruck-mcann.png|Page the first
+File:02-carter-ruck-mcann.png|Page the second
+</gallery>|background=white|margin=auto}}<br>
+[[File:Mccann critic brenda leyland on sky news 2015.jpg|150px|right|thumb|Goodnight, sweet princess]]
-{{tinyquote|p.s if the person who kidnapped maddie is reading this this is for yhoo from proberly every1 in the uk GIVE MADDIE BACK, ITS NOT FAIR SHE I ONLY 4 YEARS OLD. AND IF YHOO HAVE HURT OR EVEN killed MADDIE YHOO ARE GOING TO PAY SO MUCH YHOO PHYCO. YHOOR SOO MEAN AND YHOO ARE GOING TO PAY NO MATTER WHAT!!!|lLOVEYHOOMADDIE X X X X}}
+* In October 2014, Leicestershire-based McCann critic '''Brenda Leyland''' (63) was 'exposed' as a 'troll' by [[Old media|Sky News]] reporter Martin [[Cunt|Brunt.]] Ms Leyland, it was reported, had [[Twitter|tweeted]] 'obsessively' about the McCanns. In fact, 'obsessively' in this case meant 400 tweets over a one-year period, or just ''1.09 times a day.'' And the McCanns aren't even on twitter, so it's [[Impossible|hard]] to see how they were being 'trolled'. And [https://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/read-the-deleted-tweets-brenda-leyland-sent-the-mccanns?utm_term=.wj7bmpyq38#.smQXVgldeZ none of Mrs Leyland's tweets was actually threatening or libellous,] and some of them even [[WTF|sympathised with the McCanns.]] As usual, in this instance, 'trolling' is media shorthand for '''"Someone I Don't Know Is Saying Things I Don't Like [[SRS BSNS|On The Internet]]"'''. Ms Leyland's face and voice were broadcast to the entire UK making her instantly infamous. Shortly after that, she [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-31982088 committed suicide by inhaling Helium.] The media were completely exonerated for having [[Irony|harassed an innocent woman to the point of no return.]] Brenda "@sweepyface" Leyland, [[an heroine]] for the truth, trolled to death by [[Rupert Murdoch]] {{jew}}. [[Nevar forget]].
+{{quote|I would also hope that were I to die in odd circumstances people WOULD Q and refuse to accept the first version|@sweepyface, 11 November 2013}}<br>
-*There are still questions as to [[missing white woman syndrome|why]] people are so fucking concerned with this one girl when people die/go missing every fucking day.
+==Mad money==
-{{tinyquote|heyyyy omg i fealll so sorri for this little girl and her family people should keep looking no matter what they find good luck and loveee|A Good Samaritan}}
+In 2015, it was announced that a large sum of money had been used to find someone who is almost definitely never going to be seen again. Take a guess out how much this was. £2 million? £4 Million? £7.5 Million? No, no, surely no amount of money can be wasted that badly, nobody in their right mind would waste
+<center><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big><big>{{rainbowpyramid|£10 million}}</big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></big></center>
+<br><br>
-I found Maddie's arm! Let's keep looking!
+would they? Well there you go folks, that's how much money has been spent, and with no brakes on the Madeleine McCann train this probably isn't even half of the total amount that will be spent when the police give up and say she's at the bottom of the Atlantic somewhere.
-{{tinyquote|Whoever took maddie iz a sick person and needs serious help. But the police should not give up.I STILL KNOW SHE'S OUT THERE ALIVE.ALL OF U THAT R THINKIN SHE'S DEAD SHE AIN'T JUST HAVE FAITH. And all of u that r thinkin that her parents did it i have a feelin u're wrong but anywayz. May she come back safely.|A Illiterate}}
+Now, what have they got to show for it, ignoring the fact they haven't actually found her? The investigation, probably partly paid by yourself, has been used wisely by interrogating the same people for the last 7 years, and when anyone brings them up on it, they pull out the ol' "We've found a new trail, she could be in *enter third-world country here*".
-So wait you know she's out there alive because you have faith or no common sense?
+Well someone's gotta say enough is enough at some point, I mean, this shit happens literally daily in Mexico, unsurprisingly.
-{{tinyquote|I feel really sorry 4 u coz u haf 2 cope with not being with cute little maddie its really really sad so im gunna give u sum luv♥ i hope u find her soon From Beth F Cnt Beeleev Dee Portugees Police R Endiin Dee Case On Findiin Her 2Daii Hw Can You Do Dat 2 Dee Parentd Hu Desperatly Need Her Hope Yur Found Soon Maddie ....... X
+==PedoBAWWWWW==
+[[File:Mcanpedobear.jpg|thumb|[[Noone]] ever suspects [[Pedobear|pedobear!!!]]]]
+[[File:Madelinepedobear.jpg|thumb|200px|left|You know I'm jealous]]
+[[File:ED youtube copyright.JPG|thumb|right|What?]]
+{{fv|id|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; |<youtube>8Yfjp_UbDIs</youtube> |<youtube>K3xBcHbTYUk</youtube>}}
-|♥|Anuthr iliderite}}
+[[YTU]] pedophiles like [[Irish282]] are very upset about this [[article]]. [[You]] can help by pretending to care.
-And various others like those in which they state how dearly the parents need their child back in which I have to say: Yes, I feel sorry too, that the father can no longer stare at, the cute, poor, little, Maddie.
+==Portupaedos?==
+On 28 April 2007, a guest from Switzerland, with his three children, arrived in the Algarve and checked into the hotel where the McCanns were staying (the Ocean Club Hotel). On the night that Ickle Maddie vanished, he was sitting with his children in the resort's Tapas bar when the McCanns and their swinger pals arrived. What's more, he had earlier taken photographs of his children, and Madeleine appeared in the background of some of them.
-==MOAR NEWS, 03/05/08==
+His name is [http://www.bloomberg.com/research/stocks/private/person.asp?personId=2201481&privcapId=2125530 '''Philip Martin Edmonds''',] and he is the nephew of then-Labour cabinet member Margaret Hodge MP {{jew}}, who infamously covered up [[Operation Fairbridge#Paedo plots|a paedophile ring that had taken over council-run carehomes in her constituency.]]
+[[File:Madeleine mccann political links chart.jpg|right|400px]]
+Contacted by [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-21534603 obsessive Maddie sleuth Tony Bennett] in 2010, Mr Edmonds replied with a letter that included the comment: '''"I can confirm that whatever information I had (including some photos of my sons taken on the day Madeleine disappeared, which showed her in the background) was passed both to the police and to the McCanns at the time."''' The original online source for this letter later [https://www.lumendatabase.org/notices/11036103# disappeared mysteriously,] when Mr Bennett was abruptly silenced by the McCann media machine's [[Jews|lawyers]], like so many crusaders before him.
-[[At least 100|One year on]], Maddie's parents are getting [[butthurt]] over comments they're receiving for their sheer negligence, such as this:
+The complete files of the Portuguese investigation have been made public. There is no mention of Mr Edmonds, and the photographs have never been published. The only witness who recalled him at all was [http://www.mccannpjfiles.co.uk/PJ/STEPHEN-CARPENTER.htm Stephen Carpenter,] who told police: "We arrived at [the tapas bar] about seven because we had the children with us and I saw a man sitting at the table next to us with three children. '''He was going to take a plane the next day to Switzerland,''' given that the children's mother lived there, I had never seen him before that night, but he ended up joining us for a coffee, he was a [Mark Warner] tourist." <br><br>
-{{Quote|Gerry and Kate, how can you use money given by poor people in good faith to pay your mortgage on your mansion?
+{{frame|<gallery>
+File:Philip edmonds arrives at praia de luz.jpg|Arrival at resort
+File:Philip edmonds arrives at tapas restaurant.jpg|Tapas bar booking
+</gallery>|background=white|margin=auto}}<br><br>
-You f*****g thieving b******s. Your brat is dead because of your drunken arrogance. Shame on you.
+Also staying in the Praia de Luz resort was 83-year-old former Liberal Party MP '''Sir Clement Freud''' {{jew}}, who owned a holiday home a short distance away. A few weeks after Lickle Maddie "disappeared", Sir Clement invited the McCanns over for drinks (as you do when you learn that complete strangers have lost a child), the McCanns accepted (as you do, when a former MP and celebrity contacts you out of the blue), and they all soon became friendly.
+[[File:Clement freud and bloodhound.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Sir Clement Freud and a bloodhound, of the sort sometimes used to locate dead bodies]]
+{{quote|His response to our catalogue of horrors was merely to raise an eyebrow. Clement had this way of making everything seem a little less terrible. When he heard about the [sniffer] dogs [which had indicated the scent of death in the McCann’s hire car], he remarked laconically, [[WTF|‘So what are they going to do? Put them on the stand? One bark for yes, two for no?’]]
+He was right, of course; it was ridiculous. A couple of hours later, fortified by our brandies (it was my first-ever taste of the stuff), some useful snippets of advice and several amusing anecdotes, we left our friend feeling quite a bit better than we had when we’d arrived.|Kate McCann, in her cash-in book "Madeleine"}}
+[[File:Liberal mps sir cyril smith and sir clement freud.png|250px|right|thumb|Smith and Freud sharing a private joke together]]
+In 2016, it emerged that [[the Royal Family|Sir]] Clement (by now safely dead) had shared a parliamentary office with his fellow Liberal Party MP, [[The Royal Family|Sir]] [[Cyril Smith]] and was also (like Smith) a [[Paedophile|paedophilic rapist.]] Moreover, in 2012 one of Freud's victims had [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/15/police-were-told-two-years-ago-about-clement-freuds-madeleine-mc/ contacted the Metropolitan Police] about Freud's possible connection to Lickle Maddie's disappearance. An [[Operation Yewtree]] detective told her: "This happened years ago. He’s dead now. What do you want me to do about it?" In 2014, the same victim tried again, and again the police did absolutely nothing and kept it secret.
-I curse you and your family to [[An Hero|suffer forever]]. If you have any shame you would accept full responsibility for your daughter’s disappearance and give all the money back. You are scum.}}
+The complete legal, political, and media blackout of Freud's noncery was nothing to do with the fact that Sir Clement's son Matthew Freud {{jew}} was married to the daughter of [[Rupert Murdoch]], is a member of the Oxfordshire [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/interactive-graphics/9124278/Whos-who-in-the-Chipping-Norton-set.html "Chipping Norton Set"] that includes [[David Cameron]], is a friend of [[George Osborne]], and runs Freud Communications, Britain's tippety-top [[Propaganda|Public Relations]] firm. The same PR firm, incidentally, that has Tony Blair's "Faith Foundation" as a client and employs Kate Garvey, former aide to [[Tony Blair]] (who introduced her to Freud and then fucked Rupert Murdoch's mail-order wife [[Rupert Murdoch#LOL cuckold|Wendi Deng]]), and current wife (#3) of [[Jimbo Wales]].
-Sauce: [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/maddie/article1106333.ece Anonymous, reported by The Sun]
-Meanwhile, they and the tabloids are also [[butthurt]] because "ghouls" are treating Maddie's apartment as if it's a monument in order to see the [[sauce]] of the drama first hand. WTF?? It's not as if there's anything wrong with visiting the resort and telling your kids "Kids! When you're older, you will grow up to be sensible parents unlike those who abandoned their daughter here".
+Oddly, when McCann spokesman Clarence Mitchell went part-time in September 2008, he waltzed straight into [http://tinyurl.com/z49a2j5 a lucrative job with Matthew Freud's PR company.] How very... cosy. And to make it even cosier, just 30km up the road from both Freud and the McCanns in Praia de Luz was [http://www.theportugalnews.com/news/sir-cliff-richard-cleared-of-abuse-charges/38545 the Albufeira holiday home] of [[Operation Yewtree#Here, Kitty, Kitty!|Sir Cliff Richard.]]
-{{Quote|The [[sick fuck|sick]] sightseers even pose outside apartment 5A and SNAP their kids against the window of the room where she vanished. Not only that, there are claims it might be OFFICIAL!!
+Oh yeah, and before he got elected, Sir Clement Freud was [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=VfpLAQAAQBAJ&pg=PA204&lpg=PA204&dq=clement+freud,+rolf+harris&source=bl&ots=gs_QCgfZ6S&sig=PBX7bEOIrF0-EpP5ZX6qH0vvDhE&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjj88-IjLDNAhVpAsAKHb8JAv8Q6AEIUTAN#v=onepage&q=clement%20freud%2C%20rolf%20harris&f=false the cabaret impresario] who gave [[Rolf Harris]] his big break, and the two stayed close friends with Freud even [http://www.edp24.co.uk/cmlink/cambs-24/news/sir_clement_freud_special_cambs24_tribute_to_former_mp_1_349996 contributing lyrics to Rolfaroo's greatest hit ''Tie Me Kangeroo Down, Sport.'']
+<br><br>
+[[File:Metropolitan police maddie email.jpg|center]]<br>
-As the one year anniversary approaches, [[some argue|locals suggest]] the trips, to [[Portugal]]’s Praia da Luz resort, may be OFFICIAL with GUIDES. }}
+It's worth noting that at the time lickle Maddie evaporated, Portugal was being rocked by [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2004/nov/26/childprotection.uk an "elite paedophiles" scandal at least as big as the one that later kicked off in Britain.] It centered around the Casa Pia state-run children's homes, and dragged in hundreds of VIPs who were accused of diddling unknown numbers of kids over several decades. By the time the legal proceedings had ended in 2010, snared VIPs included top diplomat Jorge Ritto, Portugal's biggest television celebrity Carlos Cruz, lawyer Hugo Marçal (a lawyer who had represented Carlos Silvino, carehome director and another suspected abuser), former Secretary of State for Labor and Training Paulo Pedroso, Socialist Party leader Eduardo Ferro Rodrigues, and [[ZOMG|former president General Ramalho Eanes.]]
-Sauce: [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/maddie/article1111377.ece The Sun]
-Here's what annoys the tabloids
+Many of these men had been accused over previous decades, but all  the original complaints lodged with the police seem to have been shelved or gone missing. Sound familiar?
-# Going to Praia da Luz
+<br><br>
-# Taking photos of yourself (optionally: your kids too) by Maddie's flat
+[[File:Clement freud.jpg|400px|center]]
-# pics or it didn't happen
+<br>
-# ?????
-# PROFIT!!!
-==I'm a Maddie Girl, In A Maddie World==
-[[Image:Maddierealdoll.jpg|thumb|right|"I love you, Ken!" "I love you too, Barbie. Now get in the fucking trunk."]]
-In May 2008, [[nigger|Brazillian]] artist Josepha Maria created and displayed a Realdoll of what she imagines a grown up version of Maddie to look like. She displayed the staring, blank-eyed horror in the town of Praia Del Luz along with photos of Maddie, opting to troll the locals by loudly setting up the diorama at five thirty AM for extra points.
-The fact that the creature looks like a Bratz doll with a [[Naruto|Sharingan]] eye would be funny enough by itself, but Daily Mail-reading burger-faced harridan Nancy Thompson (who runs the pub opposite the church) took '''extra special''' offence and the McCann family themselves - who were also quite clearly nauseated (and yet strangely aroused) by the doll - had to [[wank|pull her off]] its creator.
-{{quote|It's absolutely unbelievable! It's grotesque, it's horrible. You wait until catch up with her.|Nancy Thompson, proving that people who read The Sun no speak so good}}
-==OMG SEKRIT DOX!==
-The case finally ground to a halt on the 28th of July, 2008, with the announcement that all evidence would be disclosed to the public in just one week. The world held its breath, while the rest of us gorged on the stash of delicious <s>cake</s> lies which were dropped to a Portugese website by a couple of ballsy Portufag [[Anon]]s within the  stablishment who by this point had <big><big>'''HAD. THE FUCK. ENOUGH.'''</big></big>
-Among the dirt to come to light was the much-vaunted "Arguido" interview in which '''Kate McCann's lawyer advised her not to answer 48 questions,''' such as "Well, where did you look for her?" and '''"Why did you leave the children alone while going out to get trashed in a seedy tapas bar with 7 other swingers?"'''. It also revealed two sniffer dogs had found the scent of the blood of a small child and a corpse all over their sofa, car boot (rented nearly a month after the 'disappearance') and Kate McCann's clothing with a DNA match of 15/19 markers of Madeline. Police remain baffled.
-The McCanns are currently embarking on a media offensive, dragging out every vague sighting in Amsterdam brothels, Timbuktu and with [[your mom]] to distract from the clear fact that <big><big>'''THEY KILLED MADDY!1! OMG11!'''</big></big>
-==[[Child Abduction|CHILD ABDUCTION]]: THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING==
-The enthusiasm of [[Hambeast|concerned members of the public]] for [[NO U|stealing back]] suspected prostitots has been complicated by the fact that [[The Man|all white people]] look the same. [http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,406221,00.html Oh yeah, I totally see the resemblance.]
-==We so sowwy==
-More lulz were generated when British rags the Daily Express and Daily Star were made by a court to apologise to the 'Tapas 7' aka '''the other 7 murdering swingers who participated in the gangbanging of Maddie before her parents did her in''' [http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/66303]. with the half a million quid damages the 7 plan to travel back to portugal for more [[rape|coming to terms with their ordeal]] and get some more [[CP|tapas]].
-The Star stated: "we sincerly apologise...'''PHWOOOOAAAR, COOOR, LOOK AT THE TITS ON THAT!...ALRITE LOVE, GIVE US A GIGGLE...'''". The Express just wished Diana was here.
-==Stay Classy, England. Stay Classy.==
-On the third of January 2009, member and former chairman of Conservative Futura (sort of like Hitler Youth for the Tory party) Matthew Lewis was ejected from the organisation for '''MOTHERFUCKING COSPLAYING AS MADDIE''' at a new year's party.
-{{quote|Mr Lewis attracted criticism after writing on Facebook that his Madeleine McCann costume had included a blonde wig, "pink pyjamas, a teddy bear and a vial of fake blood".|MSN}}
-{{quote|There was a moment when I thought I might have gone too far.|Matthew Lewis}}
-{{quote|"Is this a cunning plan to obtain the reward money?"|Fellow partygoer, quoted on the night in question}}
-Look, Britain. There go our future leaders.
 ==We Miss U Gallery==
-<gallery>
+<br>
+{{cg||Missyhoo|center|<gallery perrow="5">
 Image:HypnoMcCann.jpg|Do what she says and noone gets hurt
 Image:Maddie-t-shirt.jpg|Holiday memoir.
 Image:Maddy McCann.jpg|Bitches don't know bout my whereabouts.
-[http://missingmadeleine.com/] !]]
 Image:Wheresmaddie.jpg|A Classic Children's book
+Image:Mrmacann_mrmen.jpg|The sequel
+</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
 Image:Madmeet.jpg|Recent Maddy sighting on NUDEFUNDATING.COM
 Image:WHERE'S-MADDIE.jpg|Newspapers around the world are on the search for Maddie.
@@ Line 608: / Line 315: @@
 Image:Howdoigothome.jpg|Webslinging action
 Image:Bizarro_Maddy.jpg|She also wouldn't be dead in an alley, covered in daddy's semen.
-Image:Mrmacann_mrmen.jpg|New Missing Children Edition Mr Men Book.
 Image:Pedopedobear.jpg|Pedobear and Maddy's daddy.
 Image:Maddykipz.jpg|How To Hide A Four Year Old [[Prostatot]] In Madrid
@@ Line 625: / Line 331: @@
 Image:Maddie_Motivator.jpg|LOL you can't find her
 Image:maddiefound.jpg|Abducted by and married to some guy called Gerard
-</gallery>
+File:Madeleine mccann-2.jpg
+File:Not madeline 0.jpg
+File:Yummy yummy.jpg
+File:Wefoundmaddie.jpg|A typical sighting, yesterday
+File:Goatse4.jpg|
+</gallery>|border=#33CCCC
+}}
+<br>
+==FAQ==
+'''Click to expand.'''{{collapseobject|hid|[-]|[+]|0|
+Q: What have Maddy and Houdini got in common?<br>
+A: They both disappear and they are both dead.<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John Paul II?<br>
+A: The Pope died a virgin.<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter<br>
+A: Gary Glitter keeps an eye on the children!<br><br>
+Q: What do Madeleine McCann and bananas have in common?<br>
+A: Both are flown to England in boxes.<br><br>
+Q: What do Maddie and Liverpool have in common?<br>
+A: Both lost in Europe<br><br>
+Kate McCann has said in an interview that Maddie was a real terror when she was two - always kicking, screaming and throwing tantrums in the middle of the supermarket. She grew out of it though - it was only a midlife crisis.<br><br>
+Q: What do Madeleine McCann and a cheap blow-up doll have in common?<br>
+A: Both are fucked and then discarded.<br><br>
+Q: Knock Knock... Who's There?<br>
+A: Not Maddie, lol.<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann, and Madeleine McCann jokes?<br>
+A: The jokes will get old.<br><br>
+Q: What's worse than asking [[Michael Jackson]] to babysit your children?<br>
+A: Asking the McCanns to take them on holiday.<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a toaster?<br>
+A: A toaster wasn't raped and then murdered <br><br>
+Q: What do Madeleine McCann and submarines have in common?<br>
+A: Both lie at the bottom of the sea, and are filled with seamen<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?<br>
+A: A boomerang always comes back.<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a tan?<br>
+A: A tan doesn't disappear until after the holiday.<br><br>
-==See Also==
+The McCanns revealed today that they have spent 1,000,000 quid in their search for Maddie. Just think how many babysitters you could hire with that.<br><br>
-*[[Shannon Matthews]]
-*[[Onde está Maddy? em português]]
-*[[Missing white woman syndrome]]
-* [[Dead babies|Dead Babies]]
-* [[Baby Grace]]
-*[[Ohbutyouwillpet]]
-*[[Pedobear]]
-*[[irish282]]
-*[[Portugal]]
-*[[Childlove]]
-*[[Lisa Portolese]] - Maddie sleuth trolled.
-* [[Abortion]]
-* [[Juliana Wetmore]]
-* [[Lake Angel]]
-* [[Baby P]]
-==External Links==
+Q: What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?<br>
-*[http://www.myspace.com/maddie_begs_for_cock The damn whore has Myspace]
+A: Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.<br><br>
-*[http://www.findmadeleine.com/ Where's <strike>Waldo</strike> Maddy?]<br>
-*[http://www.paypal.com/ That's [email protected]]<br>
-*[http://www.myspace.com/findmadeline The Official "Find Madeline" MySpace page]
-*[http://bebo.com/GiveMaddieBack For abuse and LULZ]
-*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZaTcCOzpYc Send this to McCann fans, for the lulz.]</s> BALEETED
-*[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/maddie/article1111377.ece Parents butthurt over tourists taking trips to rub it in - ergo. they should've watched their kids better then]
-*[http://www.madeleinecountdown.com/ Countdown 'til she's legal]
-==DMCA==
+Q: What's dead and not newsworthy?<br>
+A: Madeleine McCann.<br><br>
-The McCann's legal team previously made a complaint regarding this article. Obviously, [[Fail|they forgot to realize that someone made a copy of the article before the "takedown"]].
+Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?<br>
+A: Because Kate McCann wanted to kill it.<br><br>
+Jerry McCann was asked if the constant police presence at his Portuguese villa was annoying. He said "Annoying? I'm fucking Mad".<br><br>
-[[File:01-carter-ruck-mcann.png]]
+Q: What's the upside to an expensive family summer holiday in [[Portugal]] with the kids?<br>
+A: A cheap Christmas.<br><br>
+Q: What do Madeleine McCanns parents have in common with OJ Simpson?<br>
+A: They both did it.<br><br>
-[[File:02-carter-ruck-mcann.png]]
+Q: Knock knock.... Who's there?<br>
+A: Not Maddie. LOL..<br><br>
-==Breaking News! 130512 The Portuguese Police killed Maddie! ==
+Q: What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and the girl in Jawbreaker?<br>
+A: Jawbreaker was killed by mistake.<br><br>
-[[File:Portuguese.png|thumb|right||A typical [http://selections.rockefeller.edu/cms/countries-and-people/a-sketch-of-portugal-and-its-people-part-ii.html] Portuguese filmed earlier.]]
+Q: What do Madeline McCann and Britney Spears have in common?<br>
+A: Both of them are bald with torn up vaginas.<br><br>
-From [[shit|The Sun]] [[ED]]-alike website [http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3580138/Former-top-cop-John-OConnor-backs-Madeleine-McCann-probe.html];
+Q: What does plastic clamshell packaging and Madeline McCann have in common?<br>
+A: Both are penetrated in the gut with a sharp object then thrown out.<br><br>
-{{quote|Kate and Gerry believe vital clues - a missing piece of the "jigsaw" - may be buried away in Portuguese police files.
+Q: What's the difference between an Emperor penguin and Gerry McCann?<br>
+A: An Emperor penguin doesn't leave his egg to spend three hours throwing cheap wine down his neck in a local bistro on the pretence he can still see the vague area the egg was left in.<br><br>
-But last night the [[mexico|Portuguese]] former police chief who was sacked from the investigation launched a [[LOL|vile]] attack on Kate.
+Q: What's the difference between Maddie and Otzi the Iceman?<br>
+A: Maddie's parents let her bleed to death, but in the car.<br><br>
-Referring to other cases Kate described, of intruders attacking British children in their Portuguese holiday homes, Detective Goncalo Amaral ranted: "[[true|There are no cases of child abuse in Portugal]]. Kate lies, telling that." ([[spanish|sic]])
+Q: What do Madeleine McCann and Candlejack have in common?<br>
+A: They both<br><br>
+Q: Whats the Difference between Madeleine McCann and Heath Ledger?<br>
+A: One was in Brokeback Mountain, the other was mounted until her back broke.<br><br>
+Q: What's the difference between peas and sperm?<br>
+A: Maddie never got used to the taste of peas.}}
+==See Also==
+<!-- [[File:Madeleine mccann van.jpg|right|thumb|[[Not|It is a mystery]]]] -->
+*[[Casey Anthony|Anthony, Casey]]
+*[[Baby Grace]]
+*[[Baby P]]
+*[[Childlove]]
+*[[Dead babies]]
+*[[irish282]]
+*[[Greville Janner|Janner, Greville]] - Leicestershire MP (McCanns' home county)
+*[[Lake Angel]]
+*[[Ohbutyouwillpet]]
+*[[Onde está Maddy? em português]]
+*[[Lisa Portolese|Portolese, Lisa]] - Maddie sleuth trolled.
+*[[Juliana Wetmore|Wetmore, Juliana]]
-"Tourists like her are not needed, [[MILF|mothers neglecting their children, that loses a child on holiday after dinner when she was drinking in a bar until midnight.]]"}}
+==Don't see==
-An [[Operation_Madeupname|unnamed source]] said last night that [[Internet_Law|Carter-Fuck]] had been hired by the Portuguese government to "DMCA the ass" out of [[lie|the Stun]] immediately.
+*[[Shannon Matthews|Matthews, Shannon]]
+==External Links==
+*[http://www.myspace.com/maddie_begs_for_cock The damn whore has Myspace]
+*[http://www.findmadeleine.com/ Where's <strike>Waldo</strike> Maddy?]<br>
+*[http://www.paypal.com/ That's [email protected]]<br>
+*[http://www.myspace.com/findmadeline The Official "Find Madeline" MySpace page]
+*[http://bebo.com/GiveMaddieBack For abuse and LULZ]
+*<s>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZaTcCOzpYc Send this to McCann fans, for the lulz.]</s> BALEETED
+*[http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/maddie/article1111377.ece Parents butthurt over tourists taking trips to rub it in - ergo. they should've watched their kids better then]
+*[http://www.madeleinecountdown.com/ Countdown 'til she's legal]
+*[https://theukdatabase.com/uk-child-abusers-named-and-shamed/calls-for-change-in-law/corruption/48-questions-kate-mccann-wouldnt-answer/ The 48 questions kate mccann didn't answer]
+*[http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/guilty-after-six-year-trial-portugals-high-society-paedophile-ring-2070112.html A potted history of the historic PortuPedo state scandal]
 [[Category:2007]]
-[[Category:People|McCann, Madeleine]]
-[[Category:People]]
 [[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]
-[[Category:Sex]]
 [[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
+[[Category:People|McCann, Madeleine]]
 [[Category:Trolls]]
+[[Category:Sex]]
 {{clear}}
 {{Pedoseries}}
+{{Jimmy Savile}}
 {{Britfags}}
+{{Psychopaths}}

Madeleine McCann: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 19:40, 21 June 2022

Kidnapping

Possible reward withdrawal

How does I get away with it?

Getting away with from it all

A Very Maddie Movie

A Challenger Appears!

Pick of the pitches

First anniversary celebrations

Dox drop dog drama

Double Dutch drama development

Adoring fans

Trolls' remorse

Mad money

PedoBAWWWWW

Portupaedos?

We Miss U Gallery

FAQ

See Also

Don't see

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