User:Wnt/Peoria

Peoria is the IRL version of Internet Explorer 6. Politicians and other entertainment celebrities are always asking themselves "will it play in Peoria?", the answer being sure, it'll play there, if you dumb it down, tweak it specially for their audience, and serve them up a different version than you show everybody else.

History

Peoria is named after the Spanish peor/French peur, the root of English words like "poor" and "fear", generally meaning just plain worst. The town is best known as a site where a cure for the clap was mass produced, but alas, for export. Its main product is bulldozers, but alas, also for export.

Attractions

Peoria is best known as the hometown of the first tard to appear on Wheel of Fortune. It is also the hometown of a successful Twitter celebrity named TheNardvark who managed to land a job writing 40 jokes a day for 30 Rock, who then promptly moved to New Jersey.

Government

Peoria's government is headed assed by Jim Ardis, acting as regent for His Serene Majesty Recep Tayyip Erdogan. Ardis is mostly known for a jihad against users of Twitter, an obscure online service which he sets an example by not using. One user, who had not merely seven brides for seven brothers but 50 followers for 50 tweets, fell afoul of Ardis' grasping net when he made fun of Ardis on the service. The idea of jailing the guy for a year for the comments sort of fell apart as people started making fun of the town, but at least the police were able to jam up some other resident for having marijuana, since obviously living in the same building as someone who makes fun of the government is probable cause for search and arrest.^[1][2]