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CloudFlare: Difference between revisions
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[[ | {{spoiler|CloudFlare Enables Miscreants}} | ||
''' | [[File:Cloudflareerror.png|thumb|What your website [[fail|looks like]] with our [[Shit|Cutting edge]] technology]] | ||
[[File:Cloudflare what your site looks when it is up.png|thumb|But to get that last page you first have to get past this. Getting this correct gives you 15 seconds of browsing before you get another one. Half the websites on the net use Cloudflare too so enjoy!]] | |||
[[File:Cloudflare facebook.png|thumb|What every person in the Philippines goes through.]] | |||
'''CloudFlare''' is a [[7 Proxies|content delivery network]] that is responsible for 90% of [[Encyclopædia Dramatica|ED]]'s and [[EDF]]'s downtime, the other 10% being [[Mike Sandy]]. | |||
[[File:Zaigercloudflare.png|thumb|right|[[zaiger|Another satisfied customer]]]] | |||
==[[Tony Stark|Technologies]]== | ==[[Tony Stark|Technologies]]== | ||
[[ | [[File:CloudflareAlwaysOnline.png|thumb|[[Irony|Always online.]]]] | ||
It uses [[DNS|amazing new technology]] to spread the load between servers, its | [[File:CloudFlare-WTF-2.png|thumb|This is because Steve Jobs is dead.]] | ||
It uses [[DNS|amazing new technology]] to spread the load between servers, its futuristic intrusion detection systems are only comparable to those of [[I_GOT_NORTON|Norton's users'.]] | |||
The [[scam|paid version]] includes such [[Retarded|amazing]] features as [[LOL|sanitizing user input]] and a feature called "[[Lolwut|EASIEST SSL EVAR]]". The [[Jew gold| pro]] features also include [[Visual_Basic#VB_in_Hollywood|the advanced threat challenge page]] and [[wat|traffic statistics updated every 15 minutes as opposed to 24 hours]]. | The [[scam|paid version]] includes such [[Retarded|amazing]] features as [[LOL|sanitizing user input]] and a feature called "[[Lolwut|EASIEST SSL EVAR]]". The [[Jew gold| pro]] features also include [[Visual_Basic#VB_in_Hollywood|the advanced threat challenge page]] and [[wat|traffic statistics updated every 15 minutes as opposed to 24 hours]]. | ||
[[ | [[File:Cloudflarebackend.png|thumb|Behind the scenes at the Cloudcave]] | ||
[[ | [[File:Cloudflarefordummies.png|thumb|Clearly for [[Idiot|computer gurus]].]] | ||
==DDoS and h4x== | ==DDoS and h4x== | ||
Many a [[Bill9929|internet h4x0rs]] have threatened to [[Script Kiddies|DDoS]] ED with [[CSIII|ping -f]], but they fail to understand that their efforts are actually preferable to [[Fail| | Many a [[Bill9929|internet h4x0rs]] have threatened to [[Script Kiddies|DDoS]] ED with [[CSIII|ping -f]], but they fail to understand that their efforts are actually preferable to [[Fail|CloudFlare's regular behavior]]. | ||
{{Quote|[[Bill9929|bill]] was developing a ddos attack|[[Lolcow|lolster1]], right before [[Cyberbully|ruination]] began after the [[EDiots|rest of the Anti-ED community]] finished laughing}} | {{Quote|[[Bill9929|bill]] was developing a ddos attack|[[Lolcow|lolster1]], right before [[Cyberbully|ruination]] began after the [[EDiots|rest of the Anti-ED community]] finished laughing}} | ||
Yet another [[Butthurt|brave warrior]] to achieve [[Borat|great success]] in the field of [[dox|hacking]] is [[Kevin Provance]], who [[Basement Dweller|worked hard]] enough to actually [[raid|get some attention]] with his mischevious [[shenanigans]]. | Yet another [[Butthurt|brave warrior]] to achieve [[Borat|great success]] in the field of [[dox|hacking]] is [[Kevin Provance]], who [[Basement Dweller|worked hard]] enough to actually [[raid|get some attention]] with his mischevious [[shenanigans]]. | ||
==[[Daniel Brandt|Brandt]] and | ==[[Daniel Brandt|Brandt]] and CloudFlare== | ||
Other notable example of | Other notable example of CloudFlare thwarting [[e-detective]] [[aspierations]] are [[Daniel Brandt]]'s sad attempts at [[Whois|forensics]], which apparently revealed that ED is based in Ukraine and Sweden, which led him to [[Asking for it|a failed attempt at doxing the sysops]]. with [[Lulz|random ips from the cloud being identified]] as [[Criminals|current ED's hosting providers]] and [[Josephevers.blogspot.com|lulzy non-dox provided]] with [[Google|great expertese]]. This in turn led him to [[Drama|dispute the TOS with CloudFlare]] in relation to [[LulzSec]]'s activities, with his demands and accusations [[Trolled|reasonably refuted]]: | ||
{{Quote|It's interesting to have public enemy number one using our service but it is important to note that we are not the hosting provider; we're much more similar to something like a network provider where traffic is passing through us and we're not actually storing any of the data. Importantly, if we were to kick them off of our network that wouldn't take the content off the Internet it would just be a little bit slower.| | {{Quote|It's interesting to have public enemy number one using our service but it is important to note that we are not the hosting provider; we're much more similar to something like a network provider where traffic is passing through us and we're not actually storing any of the data. Importantly, if we were to kick them off of our network that wouldn't take the content off the Internet it would just be a little bit slower.|CloudFlare's spokesperson, telling him to [[GTFO|chill out]].}} | ||
Being a [[Asspie|reasonable person]] [[False|he let the case go]] and moved on with his life, but not before sending yet another inquiry, this time asking whether they have ever enforced their own TOS, to which they responded: | Being a [[Asspie|reasonable person]] [[False|he let the case go]] and moved on with his life, but not before sending yet another inquiry, this time asking whether they have ever enforced their own TOS, to which they responded: | ||
{{Quote|We are not a web host and we don't censor content on the internet. | {{Quote|We are not a web host and we don't censor content on the internet. | ||
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CloudFlare's policy is to investigate violations of these Terms of Service and terminate repeat infringers. You agree that CloudFlare may, under certain circumstances and without prior notice, immediately terminate your CloudFlare account, any associated email address, and access to CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Cause for such termination shall include, but not be limited to: (a) breaches or violations of the Terms of Service or other incorporated agreements or guidelines; (b) requests by law enforcement or other government agencies; (c) a request by you (self-initiated account deletions); (d) discontinuance or material modification to the Service (or any part thereof); (e) unexpected technical or security issues or problems; (f) extended periods of inactivity; (g) you have engaged or are reasonably suspected to be engaged in fraudulent or illegal activities; (h) having provided false information as part of your account; (i) having failed to keep your account complete, true, and accurate; (j) any use of the Service deemed at CloudFlare's sole discretion a Prohibited Use as defined above; and/or (k) nonpayment of any fees owed by you in connection with CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Further, you agree that all terminations for cause shall be made in CloudFlare's sole discretion and that CloudFlare shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your account, access to the Service, or any disruption to your services such a termination may cause. You expressly agree that in the case of a termination for cause you will not have any opportunity to cure. You further acknowledge and agree that notwithstanding any termination, your obligations to CloudFlare set forth in Sections 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 shall survive such termination.]]|The sections he was citing as grounds to [[baleet]]ing LulzSec.}} | CloudFlare's policy is to investigate violations of these Terms of Service and terminate repeat infringers. You agree that CloudFlare may, under certain circumstances and without prior notice, immediately terminate your CloudFlare account, any associated email address, and access to CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Cause for such termination shall include, but not be limited to: (a) breaches or violations of the Terms of Service or other incorporated agreements or guidelines; (b) requests by law enforcement or other government agencies; (c) a request by you (self-initiated account deletions); (d) discontinuance or material modification to the Service (or any part thereof); (e) unexpected technical or security issues or problems; (f) extended periods of inactivity; (g) you have engaged or are reasonably suspected to be engaged in fraudulent or illegal activities; (h) having provided false information as part of your account; (i) having failed to keep your account complete, true, and accurate; (j) any use of the Service deemed at CloudFlare's sole discretion a Prohibited Use as defined above; and/or (k) nonpayment of any fees owed by you in connection with CloudFlare.com and associated Services. Further, you agree that all terminations for cause shall be made in CloudFlare's sole discretion and that CloudFlare shall not be liable to you or any third-party for any termination of your account, access to the Service, or any disruption to your services such a termination may cause. You expressly agree that in the case of a termination for cause you will not have any opportunity to cure. You further acknowledge and agree that notwithstanding any termination, your obligations to CloudFlare set forth in Sections 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 shall survive such termination.]]|The sections he was citing as grounds to [[baleet]]ing LulzSec.}} | ||
==People who use | ==People who use CloudFlare== | ||
*[[ED]] | *[[ED]] | ||
*[[LulzSec]] | *[[LulzSec]] | ||
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==See also== | ==See also== | ||
*[https://www.cloudflare.com | *[https://www.cloudflare.com their secret HQ.] | ||
{{softwarez}} | {{softwarez}} | ||
{{Edforumseries}} | |||
{{SecurityFaggots}} | {{SecurityFaggots}} |
Latest revision as of 21:21, 17 August 2015
CloudFlare is a content delivery network that is responsible for 90% of ED's and EDF's downtime, the other 10% being Mike Sandy.
Technologies
It uses amazing new technology to spread the load between servers, its futuristic intrusion detection systems are only comparable to those of Norton's users'. The paid version includes such amazing features as sanitizing user input and a feature called "EASIEST SSL EVAR". The pro features also include the advanced threat challenge page and traffic statistics updated every 15 minutes as opposed to 24 hours.
DDoS and h4x
Many a internet h4x0rs have threatened to DDoS ED with ping -f, but they fail to understand that their efforts are actually preferable to CloudFlare's regular behavior.
—lolster1, right before ruination began after the rest of the Anti-ED community finished laughing |
Yet another brave warrior to achieve great success in the field of hacking is Kevin Provance, who worked hard enough to actually get some attention with his mischevious shenanigans.
Brandt and CloudFlare
Other notable example of CloudFlare thwarting e-detective aspierations are Daniel Brandt's sad attempts at forensics, which apparently revealed that ED is based in Ukraine and Sweden, which led him to a failed attempt at doxing the sysops. with random ips from the cloud being identified as current ED's hosting providers and lulzy non-dox provided with great expertese. This in turn led him to dispute the TOS with CloudFlare in relation to LulzSec's activities, with his demands and accusations reasonably refuted:
—CloudFlare's spokesperson, telling him to chill out. |
Being a reasonable person he let the case go and moved on with his life, but not before sending yet another inquiry, this time asking whether they have ever enforced their own TOS, to which they responded:
—The sections he was citing as grounds to baleeting LulzSec. |
People who use CloudFlare
See also
CloudFlare is part of a series on Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage. |
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CloudFlare is part of a series on Security Faggots |
1337 h4x0rz Captain Crunch • Cult of the Dead Cow • David L. Smith • Gary McKinnon • GOBBLES • HD Moore • Jeff Moss • Kevin Mitnick • Lance M. Havok • Robert Morris • Theo de Raadt • weev • Woz
Try-Hards
2cash • AnonOps • Brian Salcedo • Fearnor • Fry Guy • Gadi Evron • g00ns • Hack This Site • Hacking Team • hann • Joanna Rutkowska • John Field • Joseph Camp • Lizard Squad • LulzSec • Mark Zuckerberg • MarshviperX • Masters of Deception • Michael Lynn • Krashed • Raven • r000t • Ryan • Steve Gibson • th3j35t3r • The Regime • Sabu • Zeekill
Related Shit
Avira • Ciscogate • Cloudflare • Conficker • CyberDefender • Defcon • The Gibson • The Great Em/b/assy Security Leak of 2007 • Heartbleed • I GOT NORTON! • Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? • Operation Sundevil • PIFTS.exe • Social engineering • Stylometry • SubSeven • Zone-H |
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