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Death

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Fun fact: Death is a scam made up by jews such as Gene Simmons to get you to buy their Kiss coffins so they can get more jewgold. Do us a favour and die somewhere that they'll never find you, as The Kikes are rich enough already. Someone should do something about it.

An all-around humorous topic, Death is the ultimate escape from your flesh prison. There are many ways of achieving death, some funnier than others. Death is unique as it is the only common ground human beings have, it doesn't matter if you're a balding manlet subhuman or or a rich man living a lavish lifestyle everyone will face death. So remember that the next time some jerk beats you up, steals your bike, fucks your mother and makes you call him Cindy, you have a comeback (albeit a shit one) which is: "LOL NIGGA JOO GUNNA DIE!"

Think of the world as one huge fucking forum, with God as the admin. Thousands of people are banned everyday, but there are also thousands of registered new users everyday so it balances out. However, not everyone is permabanned by God; some people simply delete their own IRL accounts.

Fake Death

Fake death (or pseudocide) is a method of attention whoring when someone thinks that people will miss them when they're gone. It is but one more way for these failures to fool themselves into believing that they will not be dying alone. They include:

  • Sui-Chan – Infamous emo "live" fake death.
  • Kewllimesrevenge – The fake death that never happened.
  • Flashman – Fake death of a fake person.
  • The Great Sonic-cide of 2007 – Furfags want attention
  • PogoRoo – Faked death to scam furries out of commission money.
  • Jolene JRyda – A jugalette who tried this BS in reaction to her fail as a mother and human being was pointed out and posted on ED. No one bought it, especially after she was outed by her own sister.

Real Death

The classic Grim Reaper. Since he was busy doing Castlevania games he was replaced
Thanks to Konami taking up the Grim Reapers time, we're stuck with Neil Gaiman's "Cute Little Death Girl"

While usually funnier than a fake death, the actual death of an actual person isn't always completely awesome. It depends on how they died. For example, the death of your ex-girlfriend is not funny because she probably doesn't exist. On the other hand, the old guy with cancer who chartered a biplane and jumped out is pretty much A+. Or when Steve Irwin, who spent his life pissing off crocodiles and other large animals, got im-fucking-paled by a stingray. Also, the death of any an hero is sure to create lulz. Real death is a necrophiliac's dream, and they will make sweet love to any festering meat pile. Popular real deaths include:

   
 
Pete "Dead Meat" Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? One minute you're in bed with a knockout gal, or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!
 

 
 

—Admiral Benson "Hotshots"

Where Do I Go When I Die?

A picture of where you will go when you die.

Gallery

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Videos

"What a faggot,OP won't deliver..."
OP is deeeeeeeaaaadd!


A depiction of what happens when you die.

See Also

People That Will Die

External Links



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Featured article February 20, 2006
Preceded by
DeviantART
Death Succeeded by
Futuristic Sex Robotz
Article of the Now July 8 & July 9, 2023
Preceded by
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Death Succeeded by
Money